White Evangelicals Have Traded Surfer Dude Jesus for Morbidly Obese Trump Jesus

A Google search of “Jesus” will pull up a plethora of images depicting a tall, white guy with long, blond hair and a beard. But the blond surfer dude Jesus is historically and ethnically incorrect.

In New Testament times men in Judea tended to have brown eyes, black hair and olive-brown skin. According to skeletal remains from that era the average male was about five foot five inches.

If Jesus returned claiming to be the King of Heaven and Earth, white evangelicals would look askance at the short brown fellow, and reply:

King of Heaven and Earth? Please! We doubt if you’re even in this country legally! Show us your green card!

White evangelicals will only accept a Jesus who is tall, white, blond handsome cisgender male.

Which makes it surprising that they have substituted this Adonis Jesus as their savior for a man who may be white, but’s who’s morbidly obese, hideously ugly and has doll hands and a tiny Ken doll penis.

I guess white evangelicals are comfortable worshipping the grotesque Trump as their messiah as long as he clings to his abhorrent beliefs: white supremacy, anti-immigration, anti-abortion …

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