Trump Man Up and Admit You Wear Diapers

Former President Donald Trump returned to the stage on Saturday night, delivering a speech at the North Carolina Republican Party State Convention, the start of his summer MAGA concert tour.

Trump’s widely anticipated speech was a bomb of biblical proportions, his low-energy delivery barely elicited cheers from the North Carolina party officials. The much-hyped event wasn’t carried by any of the major cable news outlets, not even the Trump-friendly Fox News.

Twitter was in a meltdown after Trump’s address, but of course folks weren’t discussing the substance of his disjointed, incoherent discourse, they were tweeting about the former president apparently having his pants on backward while he addressed the crowd. To my untrained eye it seemed like the moron had his pants on backwards, I could see no zipper and no creases, but according to Snopes.Com he managed to put on his britches on the right way.

I will defer to Snopes the ultimate arbiter of truth on the matter of whether or not Trump had his pants on backwards, but nobody will convince me the senile septuagenarian wasn’t wearing diapers. Any mother who’s dressed a toddler, and every nurse who’s dressed an Alzheimer’s impaired adult noticed the bulge in Trump’s crotch. I’ll bet my life savings against a dollar that Trump’s diapers were full of crap.

Trump is such a monster that he can’t be humanized but if he admitted that he’s incontinent and wears diapers perhaps it might lessen the hatred we feel for him. Many of Trump branded products like Trump vodka, Trump steaks and Trump bottled water have failed miserably, but if he sold Trump diapers, they would outsell Depend diapers before you could say, “Trump is full of crap.” After all, many of his supporters are aging baby boomers who would love to express solidarity with their messiah by donning Trump diapers. Trump be a man, and admit that you wear diapers!

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