The Saga of the Gorilla Glue Girl Captivates the World

“A Louisiana woman has sought medical treatment after mistakenly using Gorilla Glue spray adhesive in place of actual hair spray.

Tessica Brown’s plight went viral earlier in February after she revealed that her hair had been stuck in the same style for a month since she substituted her usual Got2b Glued spray with the industrial-strength glue when she ran out.

‘My hair, it don’t move. You hear what I’m telling you? It don’t move,’ she said in the original video posted to TikTok.”

CNN

The Gorilla Glue Girl (GGG) joins the Balloon Boy (This incident occurred in 2009 when parents released a balloon shaped to resemble a flying saucer and falsely claimed that their six-year-old son was trapped inside it) in the pantheon of infamous Internet legends.

A six-year-old child can’t be held responsible for the antics of his publicity obsessed parents, however at 40 the GGG is a grown ass woman who is responsible for making herself the laughingstock of the world by posting videos on TickTok chronicling her strange saga.

When the GGG posted her original video on TikTok everybody on social media, even Black Twitter, mercilessly ridiculed her. But when it became clear that she has most likely suffered irreparable harm to her hair and her scalp the tide turned and now most people are expressing sympathy and concern for her self-inflicted predicament.

I’m still in the ridicule the foolish woman mode and will probably never come around to expressing any sincere empathy. I’m sorry but unless you have the mental acuity of a wilted head of cabbage there’s no excuse for using an industrial-strength adhesive because you’re too lazy to go to the store and buy hair spray.

Lessons I hope the GGG has learned:

Always read the label of any product that you consume or apply to any part of your body.

Don’t feel obligated to videos online of every stupid thing you do.

Accept yourself the way you are. Don’t go to extreme lengths to straighten your hair, afros rock!

Having said all that, I send thoughts and prayers to the GGG, and not in an ironic way.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *