Donald Trump, a morbidly obese octogenarian who eschews exercise and subsists on Diet Cokes and Big Macs, was declared to be in “excellent health” after his annual physical examination in April 2025.

The quack who proclaimed that Trump is in excellent health must be a proctologist whose head is so far up his patient’s ass that he cannot see his glaring cognitive decline and deteriorating physical condition.

Recent images of Trump prove that he is in even worse physical shape than we imagined. A photograph taken just a week ago at a UFC fight depicts the president with a noticeable bulge in the crotch area of his pants. Stormy Daniels who has seen his pecker up and close (the only way you can see it is up and close) will tell you that his shriveled mushroom shaped prick will not cause even the slightest bulge. A more likely explanation is that the incontinent bastard was wearing a Foley catheter, a tube inserted into the bladder to drain urine that is collected into a bag.

Other photographs have led to speculation that the decrepit fool is wearing a hidden leg brace. Trump has a fat head, a huge stomach and an even bigger ass, and spindly legs. Of course, he is wearing a leg brace, which is the only way his skinny legs can support his humongous body. No wonder he recently stumbled on the steps of Air Force One.

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the King’s horses and all the King’s men couldn’t put Humpty together again. Am I the only one hoping Trump will have a great fall from the top of the stairs of Air Force One?