When I lived and worked in the San Francisco Bay Area, elevators were unavoidable; on an average day, I rode them dozens of times. My biggest annoyance was elevator music, commonly called Muzak, which was deliberately designed to be bland, boring, and inoffensive to a wide range of riders.

In fact, I experienced existential dread when Muzak striped away the exuberance and infectiousness of a pop hit like “Brown-eyed Girl” by Van Morrison and rendered it a lifeless husk.

Still, elevator music is an audiophile’s delight compared with inconsiderate people who use speakerphones or play videos at full volume. An elevator ride lasts only seconds, but enduring loud speakerphone conversations in a doctor’s waiting room can feel like purgatory.

I cannot wait for an iPhone with a brain implant that lets people converse telepathically.