Donald Trump’s face poses a formidable challenge for photographers: how can they make him look human without Photoshop or AI?  Consider their herculean task: Trump has a mouth that resembles a sphincter, a neck that looks like a prolapsed vagina, eyes similar to a raccoon, skin that is a dead match for a decaying pumpkin, a double chin like a red wattle pig, and hair that appears like cotton candy drenched in urine.

Time Magazine’s recent cover story lavished praise on Trump for brokering a Gaza ceasefire, but instead of basking in the adulatory coverage he blasted the cover photo. He gripped that the photo minimized his hair and added a strange visual element above his head. His verdict: the worst photo of all time.

The photographer Graeme Sloane took the photograph from underneath, perhaps fearing that a straight-on angle might induce nausea. This angle created the halo like effect above his head, making the fallen angel look like an angel of light.

The focus of the image is on his hideous neck that looks like a female’s genitalia. The pic is so graphic and disturbing that his neck region has been pixilated by more than one publication.

I feel tempted to grab Trump by his pussy-looking throat and scream at him: Stop fixating on minor issues, just be grateful that for once a mainstream publication wrote a positive story about you.

May my readers forgive me for including the offensive photograph with my essay.