Melania Trump is as Mysterious as a Russian Topless Bartender at a Strip Club

Trophy Wife

If you ask me there`s no mystery about Melania Knauss, she`s a former nude model who struck faux gold when she married real estate magnate Donald Trump.

But her life before she became Trump`s third trophy wife is shrouded in mystery.

We know that soon after she stopped wearing a training bra she started her modeling career, but is she a college graduate?

We know that up until Trump`s shocking election victory her personal website claimed that she obtained a degree in design and architecture at an unnamed university in Slovenia.

We should take anything Melania says with a grain of salt, she`s as well acquainted with the truth as her husband.

The truth is that Melania dropped out of the University of Ljubljana in Slovenia after one year to dedicate herself to her nude modeling career. At least she didn`t claim that she graduated from Trump University, she may not be a college graduate but she`s not that dumb.

Melania was forced to update her site to read “paused her studies to advance her modeling career in Milan and Paris.” Another Trumpian lie, she never resumed her studies and there`s no proof that she ever sashayed down a catwalk in Paris or Milan.

It`s frequently reported that she`s fluent in five languages: Slovene, English, German, Serbian and French, but I bet that the only thing she can say in German, Serbian and French is “Yes, Mr. Millionaire I`d love to see your hotel room.” Think about it, she`s been in America for decades, but she speaks in broken English.

It`s obvious Melania isn`t a fluent English speaker, and she can barely write in English, which explains why she has a penchant for plagiarizing the speeches of Michelle Obama.

There is as much mystery to Melania as there is about your favorite Russian topless bartender at a strip club.