In a fit of nihilism and cynicism the American electorate dumped a pile of human excrement on the White House. Nobody had ever seen such an abomination. It was huge! It was spectacular. It was apocalyptic.

Under any other administration, the EPA would have classified the People’s House as a Superfund site because of its major health risks.

The sulfurous stench enveloped the White House, D.C and every nook and cranny of our democracy.

The load of crap had a mouth that looked like a cancerous sphincter, and a neck that looked like a diseased vagina. Despite its ghastly appearance, a group of fluffers and sycophants regularly cleaned its nether regions.

The American public regretted its shitty decision of elevating this low-life piece of manure to the White House, and every day they prayed that the Grim Reaper might take pity on them and back up a dump truck to the White House and haul away the hill of feces.

Today God performed his second greatest gift to humankind and smote the presidential poop.

We have preserved our democracy!  The stench will eventually dissipate, and we will breathe freely once again.

I know that I am not the only patriot who will hire Russian hookers to piss on his grave.