The CNN town hall was such an affront to humanity, such a tour de farce, such a display of fuckery that I felt compelled to write a series of essays on the shit show from the pit of hell.

In my last essay I wrote that the CNN MAGA rally masquerading as a town hall was an unpardonable sin, but perhaps there is a way in which CNN can make amends. Here are a few suggestions:

FIRE CHRIS LICHT

Since May 2022, he has been the chairman and CEO of CNN. He has been on a mission from God to transform CNN from a liberal/moderate news organization into a Fox Light clone. This foolish endeavor is destined to be as popular and successful as Bud Light’s marketing strategy.

SWEAR ON TED TURNER’S GRAVE NOT TO AIR ANY TRUMP RALLY OR SPEECH

CNN should profusely apologize to their aggrieved viewers and pledge never again to air any Trump event, be it a speech, rally, photo-op or press conference. The only speech they should televise is the one where he drops out of the presidential race. Don’t normalize a monster, period!

TELEVISE A TOWN HALL WITH E. JEAN CARROLL AND THE DOZENS OF OTHER WOMEN TRUMP SEXUALLY ASSAULTED

In the town hall Trump made disparaging remarks about E. Jean Carroll just a day after he was found liable in a civil case for sexually assaulting her. CNN gave the serial predator a national platform to defame, insult and mock her once again. The only way CNN can make amends is by giving her a platform to defend her reputation.

TELEVISE A JOE BIDEN TOWN HALL

Give the Biden town hall audience the same instructions as the Trump audience: be respectful, applaud, but don’t boo.

If CNN fails to take these actions it’s incumbent upon us to boycott the failed news organization.