Month: December 2023

GOP Rep. Tim Walberg Praises Uganda’s ‘Kill the Gays’ Bill

This year Uganda’s President Yoweri Museveni signed into law the most draconian anti-LGBT legislation in the world. The Anti-Homosexuality Act of 2023 criminalizes homosexuality and individuals found guilty of “aggravated homosexuality” are subject to the death penalty.

You’d think the religious and political leaders of the world, especially those in democracies, would speak out against such an abominable legislation, and indeed many have come to the defense of the LBGT community in Uganda.

In October, Republican Congressman Tim Walberg, a devout evangelical, traveled to Uganda not to beseech Museveni to repeal the law, but to deliver a speech where he praised the law commonly known as “Kill the Gays” law.

Instead of exporting democracy to the far corners of the world Walberg is spreading his noxious Gospel of homophobia. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that American evangelicals who practically have an orgasm when they read in the Old Testament that gays should be put to death, want to spread their hateful dogma to other countries.

I’m sure that Walberg gets his panties in a twist when he witnesses gays committing “aggravated homosexuality” by having the temerity to express love in public by holding hands, hugging or kissing.

It’s incumbent upon those of us who believe in human rights and gender and sexual equality to denounce homophobia in the homeland and anywhere else in the world.

Perfect Christmas Gifts for Republican Freaks

It’s the happiest season of the year, when we take time to consider what gifts to buy for our family, friends and loved ones. But I’m only going to waste a few moments thinking about what goodies the most despicable politicians deserve.

What gift does a sociopath like Trump who makes the Grinch and Scrooge look like cherubic angels deserve? A lump of coal? Nah, too much of a cliché. The perfect gift for him would be a butt plug. What better present for an incontinent old fart who always has droopy drawers? It could also be used to plug up his sphincter-shaped mouth; I’m sick and tired of the excrement that emanates for his pie hole.

What would be the perfect trinket for a snake oil salesman like Vivek Ramaswamy? How about Dollar General ED pills that he can use in his side hustle as Trump’s fluffer?

What doodad could I give Lindsey Graham, otherwise known as Lady G? How about a life-size anatomically correct Ken doll to keep him company at night?

What novelty item would be fitting for a pedo enabler like Jim Jordan? I know, action figures of a wrestler being anally probed by a leering physician.

Mike Johnson looks like he would appreciate old school porn, therefore I would give him old copies of Penthouse and Hustler magazines

I would give Mike Lindell one of his pillows, perfect for smothering miscreants.

What bauble could I give Marjorie Taylor Greene? A strap-on dildo, after all doesn’t she look like she straps one on every night?

And as for Mike Pence, balls would be the perfect gift, considering Trump emasculated him.  

I realize I gave all these Republican politicians sex-related gifts, but that’s appropriate for sexually repressed hypocritical freaks

‘Trump Smells’ Trending on Twitter

“Former GOP congressman Adam Kinzinger sparks controversy by suggesting people ‘wear a mask’ around Trump due to alleged odor, igniting a social media storm.”

Hindustan Times

It’s axiomatic that everything Donald Trump touches turns to shit, therefore it should come as no surprise that decent people would complain that such a prodigious consumer and producer of excrement smells exceptionally bad.

When I logged onto Twitter, Elon Musk’s cesspool of filth, I noticed that “Trump smells” was trending, I thought to myself, “No Shit!”

When I walk into a dog pound I’m prepared to be suffocated with the stench of feces, and when I hear Trump on TV or read an article about him online, I brace myself to be assaulted with his sulfurous presence.

It’s a given that Trump reeks, the only question is what is causing him to stink to high heaven on any given day.

When golden showers are in Trump’s forecast you can expect him to smell like a urine drenched drunkard on Skid Row.

When one of his fluffers forgets to change his Depends, you can expect him to have the malodorous odor of an infant with droopy drawers.

When Trump is holding a MAGA rally you can expect the air to be heavy with the loathsome spirit of racism, bigotry and xenophobia.

Adam Kinsinger is spot-on, Trump smells! Give the dirty pig a wide berth, so his filth won’t permeate your spirit.

Iowa Evangelical Leaders are Enthralled by Trump

“’President Trump is the clear choice for people of faith in America. Unlike other politicians, when President Trump promises he will do something, he keeps his promises,’ said Pastor Jamison Plank from Henry County, Iowa. ‘President Trump has an unmatched record of defending family values, promoting religious freedom, and championing moral clarity and biblical authority.’”

FloridianPress.Com

President Trump, the twice-divorced, twice impeached and four times indicted New York shady businessman, has the endorsement of over 300 evangelical leaders in the nation’s first primary contest, the Iowa Caucus.

Let’s parse the endorsement of evangelical Pastor Plank:

“Trump is the clear choice for people of faith in America.” This bold proclamation is evidence that people of faith, and more specifically evangelicals like Plank, are spiritually blind, and susceptible to being manipulated by charlatans like Trump who cynically sprinkles his stump speeches with Jesus words.

“He keeps his promises.” Oh, really? The pathological liar didn’t keep his biggest and boldest promise: To build a great wall on the southern border, and make Mexico pay for it. Trump promised to repeal and replace the Affordable Care Act, how did that turn out? Obamacare is more popular and covers more patients that ever.

“Trump has an unmatched record of defending family values.” Bitch, please! The Orange Messiah has an unmatched record for cheating on his wives with strippers and porn stars. He also has an unmatched record of being a serial sex predator.

“Champions moral clarity and biblical authority.” Trump doesn’t have a moral compass and “Mr. Two Corinthians” is no Bible scholar.

Fuck Trump and fuck evangelicals like Plank who support him.

I Love the Lynchburg VA Christmas Bus

I’ve lived in Lynchburg for 23 years and I’ve never stepped inside a Greater Lynchburg Transit Company (GLT) bus, for me it would be akin to entering a soup kitchen. My mindset is that riding the bus is for the poor or those who can’t drive for whatever reason.

I’ve always owned a car, sometimes two at the same time, and if my auto is in the shop, I would call a cab or an Uber.

I don’t pay any attention when I’m on the road and I pass a GLT bus, it just blends into the background.

But the other day I saw a bus decked out in Christmas lights, and I was taken aback, that’s an incongruous as garbage truck festooned with Christmas decorations.

During the holiday season I feel like a Scrooge or a Grinch but the sight of the bus decorated with Christmas lights instantly lifted my holiday spirit, and I even started humming a Christmas carol.

What a wonderful idea I mused to myself; during this time of the year people who rely on the bus for transportation often have to wait in the rain or snow at the bus stop. I’m sure it lifts their spirits as well when a Christmas bus pulls up to their stop.

I discovered that GLT decorates a bus for the Lynchburg Christmas parade every year, but this year they decided to keep in going even after the parade.

Nikki Haley: ‘Biden is Too Old’

“Republican presidential candidate Nikki Haley has launched a new campaign ad calling President Biden ‘too old,’ in one of the most direct attacks on the president’s age this election cycle.

‘I’ll just say it: Biden’s too old,’ Haley, 51, says in the ad. ‘And Congress is the most exclusive nursing home in America.’”

The Washington Post

Amen, Nicki Haley, Amen!

Haley’s comment isn’t ageist, it’s an affirmation of the biological truth that septuagenarians like Donald Trump and octogenarians like Joe Biden are simply too old to be president of the United Sates, the most stressful occupation in the world.

With every stumble, malapropism, loss of train of thought and deer in the headlight stare, Joe Biden proves that time has taken a heavy toll on his physical health and mental acuity.

Haley has made subtle references and allusions to Donald Trump’s age, but she should also clearly proclaim that Trump, 77, is too old. Trump is an energetic and feisty old codger, but his cognitive ability is declining at a rapid pace.

Both candidates have recently disclosed positive health reports from their physicians, but those reports should be taken with a grain of salt. A twenty-year-old Ford Focus’ Fitness Certificate is more trustworthy than a quack’s medical report ascertaining the excellent mental and physical health of the commander-in-chief.

Joe Biden is too damn old! Donald Trump is too damn old. I will vote for Biden, he may be a senile old fart, but that’s better than being a senile old racist, homophobic, misogynist fat piece of shit.

Outrage: Evangelical Beheads Statue of Baphomet at the Iowa State Capitol

I’m a stanch believer in the separation of church and state. “In god we trust” should be removed from our currency, the ten commandments should be excised from every government building, chaplains shouldn’t be reciting prayers in Congress, and nativity scenes should be banned from the Iowa State Capitol and every other government building.

The Satanic Temple erected the Baphomet statue in the State Capital as a countermeasure and antidote to the nativity scene also exhibited in the building.

The Satanic Temple uses Satanic imagery to promote human rights, social justice, secularism, and the separation of church and state. They are a non-theistic religion that uses Satan as a symbol and a metaphor. They don’t believe Satan is a real person, and they don’t resort to violence if someone denigrates their faith or desecrates their religious symbols.

Evangelicals believe that Jesus is the Son of God, and their religious beliefs are the antithesis of the peace-loving creed of the Satanic Temple. They use the Bible to justify racism, homophobia, xenophobia and misogyny. They become apoplectic whenever anyone mocks and ridicules their religion, and evangelicals and Christians of all stripes have started countless wars in the name of Jesus.

A former military officer and evangelical zealot who desecrated the display of the Satanic temple and beheaded the statue of Baphomet is being hailed as a hero by evangelicals. Never mind that the Satanic Temple was given approval by state authorities to participate alongside other holiday displays, evangelicals are applauding his criminal behavior.

WWJD? If Jesus came back and visited the Iowa State Capitol, would he destroy the statue of Baphomet, or just shake his head and lament the fact that the Satanic Temple embodies and practices his peaceful religion better than evangelicals?

An Evangelical’s Nativity Scene Featuring Baby Trump

“And behold, the Evangelicals of America made a golden Trump, and they did bow down and worship him.”

Stephen King

Bestselling novelist Stephen King is the undisputed master of the horror genre, naturally he recognizes a terrifying freak when he sees one in real life. King regularly mocks and criticizes Trump on Twitter and in his latest tweet he reminds us that evangelicals worship Trump as their messiah.

King’s tweet makes me ponder what a white evangelical’s nativity scene would look like:

The focal point would be the baby Trump wearing diapers made out of dollar bills, his countenance bright red because he was born constipated and full of shit.

Instead of three wise men bearing gifts there are three strippers raining golden showers on the demonic baby.

In lieu of sheep and lambs there are filthy pigs wallowing in the mud next to the infant Trump.

In the place of a heavenly angel announcing the birth of the Savior there’s a demon proclaiming the birth of the antichrist.

If you think I forgot about the mother of the orange messiah, she’s one of the pigs wallowing in the mud.

The father isn’t in this nativity scene from hell, because he got his ass out of Dodge, he wanted no part of this abomination.

May the good Lord forgive me for penning this horrifying essay, but blame it on King for inspiring me.

Mitt Romney Said Donald Trump was a GumBall Machine, no He’s a Condom Vending Machine

“Sen. Mitt Romney (R-Utah) joked during an appearance on NBC’s ‘Meet the Press’ Sunday that former President Trump was a ‘human gumball machine’ due to his tendency to give unfiltered remarks.

‘A thought or a notion comes in, and it comes out of his mouth. There’s not a lot of filter that goes on. There’s not a lot of, ‘What’s the implication?’ No, no. He just says whatever.’”

Axios

Gumball machines make me nostalgic for simpler more innocent times when a penny wasn’t just dead weight in your pocket, and a child could insert a penny into the base of a gumball machine, turn the handle and a shiny gumball would be deposited into a chute at the bottom of the wonderful machine.

There is nothing about Donald Trump that reminds me of innocence, truth be told he’s a steaming pile of human excrement.

Mitt Romney doesn’t have much of an imagination, a more accurate metaphor to describe the vulgar sociopath is a condom dispenser at a Greyhound station restroom.

You meet a sketchy travel blogger while riding the bus, and she’s kind of unkempt but kind of hot, so you make plans to hook up when you reach your common destination. So, you enter the restroom with trepidation, knowing what you will encounter: urine on the floor, feces encrusted in the toilet bowl, and graffiti on the walls. You approach the condom vending machine, afraid to touch it lest you catch a disease. But you’re horny and buy a condom, grateful it didn’t dispense an extra small Trump condom.

I wouldn’t touch Trump with a ten-foot pole. Screw Romney! Trump isn’t a gumball machine, he’s a damn condom vending machine.

Mike Johnson Compares Himself to Moses

Christian Nationalist House Speaker Mike Johnson spoke at the National Association of Christian Lawmakers (NACL) gala on Tuesday night. When the fundamentalist took the stage, he thanked the NACL “for not allowing the media in.” I’m not surprised the media was banned, Johnson doesn’t want the press and the electorate to know the extent of his religious fanaticism. But the good Lord allowed his remarks to be made public:

“The Lord impressed upon my heart a few weeks before this happened that something was going to occur. And the Lord very specifically told me in my prayers to prepare, but to wait… I had this sense that we were going to come to a Red Sea moment in our Republican conference and in the county at large.

Look, I’m a Southern Baptist. I don’t wanna get too spooky on you. But you know, the Lord speaks to your heart. He had been speaking to me about this, and the Lord told me very clearly to prepare and be ready. Be ready for what? I don’t know. We’re coming to a Red Sea moment. What does that mean, Lord?

When the speaker’s race happened and Kevin McCarthy, who’s a dear friend of mine, was deposed and vacated from the chair. Oh, wow! Well, this is what the Lord may have been preparing us for.”

Almose every religion believes you can communicate with God via chanting, praying or meditation. Most people of faith pray, and even though they have no scientific proof that God answers or even hears their prayers, they believe it’s a spiritual, cathartic and therapeutic practice.

Then there are the religious fanatics who are convinced that the Almighty not only hears their prayers, but that he answers them, sometimes audibly. If you talk to the Supreme Being you are a normal human being, but if you believe that he audibly talks back to you, you should exchange your pastor for a psychiatrist.

Johnson is convinced that the Lord spoke to him very clearly telling him that He choose him to be the next Moses to be the Speaker of the House. Jesus Christ! The apparent Republican presidential nominee thinks he is Jesus and the Speaker of the House thinks he is a Moses figure. We are fucked.

Trump is in Full Batshit Crazy Mode

Donald Trump has always been a hyperbolic buffoon with a penchant for uttering superlatives and babbling toxic word salads, but now as he seeks to return to the White House, he’s in full batshit crazy mode.

But most Americans don’t realize how far the deep end the Orange Wack Job gone because he posts his inflammatory and incendiary remarks on Truth Social, his niche social media platform, whose core audience is QAnon cultists, white evangelicals, Nazis and assorted rightwing riff-raff.

During his 2016 and 2020 presidential campaigns Trump used Twitter to spread his racist, fascist and divisive rhetoric, and then his tweets were amplified by the cable news networks. Trump’s posts on Truth Social reverberate in the MAGA echo chamber, but they don’t always impact society at large.

If average Americans read Trump’s Truth Social posts as faithfully as his supporters he would lose in a landslide. Trump explicitly and enthusiastically advocates violence as a method to silence his critics. He’s promised to execute generals who don’t do his bidding and opined that shoplifters should be shot. He has promised to use the power of the presidency to jail his political opponents including Joe and Hunter Biden.

If Trump returns to power there will be no guardrails, and there will be no one to restrain his authoritarian and fascist impulses. If Trump wins the presidency and the Republicans keep the House and gain control of the Senate, our democracy will devolve into a White Christian Nationalist theocracy.

Trump is a ruthless cognitively-challenged sociopath, and we must do everything within our power to stop him. The stakes couldn’t be higher, democracy itself is on the line.

Trump Uses Words That Resonate with Evil Evangelicals

“We will demolish the Deep State, we will expel the warmongers from our government, we will drive out the globalists, we will cast out the Communists, Marxists, and Fascists, we will throw off the sick political class that hates our Country, we will rout the Fake News Media, we will evict Joe Biden from the White House, and we will FINISH THE JOB ONCE AND FOR ALL! The 2024 election is our final battle.”

Donald Trump Truth Social post

Donald Trump’s “Truth Social” (TS) social media platform has around half a million active daily users, compared to X, formerly known as Twitter’s active daily userbase of 217 million. TS has negligible impact on the Internet and the culture at large.

But Trump’s incoherent, provocative and incendiary posts on TS are read religiously by his sycophantic followers. Trump’s musings and blathering on TS are regarded as Gospel by his supporters, and they consider them their marching orders.

In this recent post by the Orange Messiah, we see how he uses words and phrases that resonate with white evangelicals. He uses the word “warmonger” that’s familiar with readers of the Bible. They interpret Trump’s promise to “expel warmongers from our government” to mean that his administration will stop funding Ukraine’s campaign to drive out the Russian invaders. They know that Trump’s Israel-friendly regime will have no problems supporting Israel as it bombs Gaza back to the stone age.

Trump’s exclamation that he will “drive out the globalists” is decoded to mean that he will destroy the worldwide Jewish cabal that they believe controls international banking as well as the governments of most Western countries. Evangelicals claim to love Israel, but at the same time they believe in antisemitic conspiracy theories.

They decipher his vow to cast out “communists, Marxists and fascists” as an expression of his enmity against Democrats, incredibly most evangelicals believe that Democrats are communists and socialists.

“Cast out” is a phrase commonly used by evangelicals, they’re always blathering about casting out demons.

Evangelicals will construe his description of the 2024 presidential election as “the final battle” as an apocalyptic battle between good and evil.

Trump is a fascist sociopath who won’t lead us to the Promised Land, but if he wins, he will lead us to a dystopian future.