Perfect Christmas Gifts for Republican Freaks

It’s the happiest season of the year, when we take time to consider what gifts to buy for our family, friends and loved ones. But I’m only going to waste a few moments thinking about what goodies the most despicable politicians deserve.

What gift does a sociopath like Trump who makes the Grinch and Scrooge look like cherubic angels deserve? A lump of coal? Nah, too much of a cliché. The perfect gift for him would be a butt plug. What better present for an incontinent old fart who always has droopy drawers? It could also be used to plug up his sphincter-shaped mouth; I’m sick and tired of the excrement that emanates for his pie hole.

What would be the perfect trinket for a snake oil salesman like Vivek Ramaswamy? How about Dollar General ED pills that he can use in his side hustle as Trump’s fluffer?

What doodad could I give Lindsey Graham, otherwise known as Lady G? How about a life-size anatomically correct Ken doll to keep him company at night?

What novelty item would be fitting for a pedo enabler like Jim Jordan? I know, action figures of a wrestler being anally probed by a leering physician.

Mike Johnson looks like he would appreciate old school porn, therefore I would give him old copies of Penthouse and Hustler magazines

I would give Mike Lindell one of his pillows, perfect for smothering miscreants.

What bauble could I give Marjorie Taylor Greene? A strap-on dildo, after all doesn’t she look like she straps one on every night?

And as for Mike Pence, balls would be the perfect gift, considering Trump emasculated him.  

I realize I gave all these Republican politicians sex-related gifts, but that’s appropriate for sexually repressed hypocritical freaks

Rep. Nancy Mace Pledges Devotion to Trump One Day After He Endorsed Her Opponent

Former President Donald Trump is the most physically repulsive politician in American history, he makes the homely Abraham Lincoln look like Brad Pitt.

A Hollywood special effects artist couldn’t create a more loathsome and hideous monster. If I saw Trump with his double chin, racoon eyes, sphincter-shaped mouth and urine colored hair walking toward me, I would make the sign of the cross and run away.

Based on his grotesque physical appearance alone, I wouldn’t feel compelled to show the twice-impeached former president any sign of respect.

When you couple his ugly physical appearance with his moral depravity, Trump would be the last person on Earth I would ever treat with respect or deference.

Then when you consider the fact that Trump demands loyalty but doesn’t reciprocate, and treats everyone like crap, you would have to question the sanity of anyone who praises Trump.

Yet there’s legions of Republicans whom Trump has mocked, taunted and dehumanized who now treat him like the Second Coming of Christ. Take Ted Cruz for example, during the 2016 presidential campaign Trump insinuated that his wife was ugly and accused his father of being involved in the conspiracy to assassinate JFK. Now Cruz never misses an opportunity to debase himself in service to Trump.

The latest example is congresswoman Nancy Mace who filmed a video praising Trump outside Trump Tower one day after the former president endorsed her opponent and called her “an absolutely terrible candidate.”

The steaming pile of human shit Trump isn’t an aberration, he is representative of the typical servile Republican politician who will do anything to win an election.

Republicans Obsessed With Stoking the Culture Wars

Republican leaders stoke the culture wars as a means of energizing their base and building a campaign war chest. The Republican faithful are primed to storm the Capitol to stop the evil Democrats from banishing The Muppets, Dr. Seuss, Goya, Mr. Potato Head and the My Pillow guy.

If you listen exclusively to right wing media cable news outlets like Fox News and Newsmax you’d think that democracy was in an existential threat of being undermined by the raging culture wars. Republicans are terrified that America will fall to communism if Liberals succeed in cancelling Roseanne Barr, Jon Voight, Mr. Potato Head, the My Pillow fraudster and Donald Trump.

Conservative pundits, preachers and politicians have their panties in a twist over what they describe as out of control PC culture.

The mainstream media may have light-hearted segments on Dr. Seuss and Mr. Potato Head, but it’s not culture wars 24/7.

President Joe Biden and his administration aren’t preoccupied with the culture wars.

“I don’t think there is any danger in ignoring a debate on Mr. Potato Head and Dr. Seuss,” said John Anzalone, a Biden adviser and campaign pollster.

Biden has more important things on his plate: passing the massive COVID-19 relief package and bringing the pandemic under control.

If only Republican congressional leaders would stop playing with Mr. Potato Head, put down their Dr Seuss books and help Democrats in fighting the pandemic, ending systemic racism, building our infrastructure, and protecting voting rights.