An Evangelical’s Nativity Scene Featuring Baby Trump

“And behold, the Evangelicals of America made a golden Trump, and they did bow down and worship him.”

Stephen King

Bestselling novelist Stephen King is the undisputed master of the horror genre, naturally he recognizes a terrifying freak when he sees one in real life. King regularly mocks and criticizes Trump on Twitter and in his latest tweet he reminds us that evangelicals worship Trump as their messiah.

King’s tweet makes me ponder what a white evangelical’s nativity scene would look like:

The focal point would be the baby Trump wearing diapers made out of dollar bills, his countenance bright red because he was born constipated and full of shit.

Instead of three wise men bearing gifts there are three strippers raining golden showers on the demonic baby.

In lieu of sheep and lambs there are filthy pigs wallowing in the mud next to the infant Trump.

In the place of a heavenly angel announcing the birth of the Savior there’s a demon proclaiming the birth of the antichrist.

If you think I forgot about the mother of the orange messiah, she’s one of the pigs wallowing in the mud.

The father isn’t in this nativity scene from hell, because he got his ass out of Dodge, he wanted no part of this abomination.

May the good Lord forgive me for penning this horrifying essay, but blame it on King for inspiring me.