Month: March 2018

Donald Trump Declares April National Sexual Assault Awareness Month

“President Donald Trump issued a proclamation Friday designating April as National Sexual Assault Awareness month.

According to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, April has been Sexual Assault Awareness Month since 2001 in the United States. The move to issue a proclamation observing the month was first started by President Barack Obama in 2010, and the tradition has carried over into the Trump administration.

“Sexual assault crimes remain tragically common in our society, and offenders too often evade accountability. These heinous crimes are committed indiscriminately: in intimate relationships, in public spaces, and in the workplace,” the presidential proclamation from the White House states.

Over the past year, there has been a reckoning in the United States over sexual assault and harassment, particularly in the workplace, known as the #MeToo movement.”

CNN

This is not Fake News, an April Fools` Day joke or an SNL`s Weekend Update satirical report.

President Donald Trump really did issue a proclamation designating April as National Sexual Assault Awareness month.

Trump should demonstrate that he`s in on the joke by issuing a National Sexual Assault Awareness month poster depicting him wagging his finger with the caption: It`s Not Nice to Grab a Woman by the Pussy.

At least 19 women have accused Trump of inappropriate behavior ranging from sexual harassment and lewd behavior to sexual assault.

If Trump was serious about addressing this problem, that is endemic in our society, he would publicly apologize to these women.

But off course that will happen on the same day that Trump admits that he`s practically bald, and that he employs ten hairstylists to fix his elaborate combover from hell every morning.

Here`s a statement from the National Sexual Violence Resource Center on how we can mark National Sexual Assault Awareness month:

There are many ways to embrace one`s voice, from practicing or providing consent to speaking out against stereotypes or gender biases. This campaign will provide the tools and resources needed for individuals and communities to take actionable steps toward ending sexual violence once and for all. And it starts with recognizing the power of one`s voice.

We all have a unique role to play in prevention and changing the culture. When we reflect on and change how we think and talk about the issue of sexual violence and consent, we can create a culture of respect, equality, and safety. All of our voices have power. It`s time for everyone to find that voice and embrace it.

Read More:

https://www.cnn.com/2018/03/30/politics/donald-trump-national-sexual-assault-awareness-month/index.html

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Bullied Kid Adopts Kitty With Same Rare Eye Condition and Cleft Lip

“A 7-year-old boy who was bullied for the way he looks has adopted a cat with the same rare eye condition and cleft lip.
Madden Humphreys, from Oklahoma, was born with a bilateral cleft lip and palate, as well as different coloured eyes, known as heterochromia iridum.
His mother, Chriatina Humphreys, found out about a cat named Valentine who had the same conditions from birth.”
Independent

From an early age human beings ostracize, bully and ridicule anyone with a physical or mental defect, or anyone who is just quirky and don`t fit the mold.

This pack behavior in humans gives us a false sense of camaraderie, and as we torment the runt of the litter, we pray that people won`t discover a fault or defect in us that will focus their vitriol in our direction.

But animals are superior to humans in many ways, and a dog and even a cat will accept and love us for who we are, not what we look like.

The mother of this adorable little boy with different colored eyes traveled all the way from Oklahoma to Minnesota to adopt the cat who shares the same rare eye condition and cleft lip.

Madden and the kitten are inseparable, the little boy doesn`t feel so lonely anymore.

Children and pets are a great match, there`s a kitten or a puppy that will make the perfect match for your child at your local animal shelter.

Link to pictures and video of adorable little boy and cute as a button kitty:

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/bullied-child-adopts-cat-same-eye-condition-cleft-lip-madden-humphreys-moon-oklahoma-a8279361.html

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White Evangelicals Have Made Porn Kosher

“Conan O`Brien poked fun at President Donald Trump`s evangelical supporters over claims they are helping to bring porn into the mainstream on Tuesday.

The late-night comedian noted how some people were accusing evangelicals of normalizing porn due to their unwavering support of Trump, who allegedly had an affair with porn star Stormy Daniels in 2006.

`In response, evangelicals say: We`re in favor of any situation that makes people scream, `Oh, God,` O`Brien quipped.”

Huffington Post

White evangelical leaders have given President Donald Trump a mulligan over his sexual fling with porn star Stormy Daniels, thereby reducing watching porn to a venial sin, and giving born-again Christians a holy dispensation to watch porn.

If an evangelical mother catches her son watching the sexual acrobatics of Stormy on his cell phone, she`d better not say a damn word.

Conan O`Brien is spot-on, Trump`s evangelical supporters have brought porn into the mainstream.

White evangelical leaders and their followers engaged in a holy crusade to support Trump`s presidential candidacy even though he was caught on tape bragging about grabbing women by their genitals. No longer is it a sin to support a politician with dozens of credible accusations of sexual harassment against him.

White evangelical leaders supported pedophile Judge Roy Moore with a holy fervor, thereby bringing child molestation into the political mainstream. No longer can a senatorial candidate be dismissed out of hand simply because he trolled middle schools and high schools for young girls.

White evangelicals have given their tacit support for every kind of sexual sin under the sun, well maybe not every sexual sin. Had Moore been accused of molesting Boy Scouts, evangelicals would tear him limb from limb. And if Donald Trump was caught having sex with Mike Pence in the Lincoln Bedroom, evangelicals would demand that the sodomite be impeached.

It is imperative that the few evangelicals who haven`t sworn allegiance to the antichrist figure of Trump join other true Christians, and Americans of other faiths and no faith in denouncing Trump, and calling for his impeachment.

Read More:

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/conan-obrien-donald-trump-porn-mainstream_us_5abb94cbe4b03e2a5c780222

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Why do Dogs Always Look So Guilty?

When I come home from work and find my curtains shredded or a hairball on my bed, I shoot an angry glance at my cats, but they don`t express any remorse, and look at me with total indifference.

But when I find my shoe torn to shreds my pooch, Mandy, looks as guilty as sin. Dogs would make horrible poker players, while felines would make a killing at the game.

Mandy looks guilty even when she hasn`t done anything wrong, guilt is their default expression.

We love canines because they are so transparently honest, they can`t get away with anything.

There are a gazillion and one videos on YouTube depicting dogs acting as guilty as hell:

Visit your local animal shelter, and you will fall in love with a guilty-looking puppy that you won`t be able to resist from adopting.

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Would You Buy a Naked Donald Trump Statue for $20,000?

“A statue of a naked Donald Trump is going on the auction block.

Julien`s Auction says the sculpture is the last statue remaining that was not vandalized or destroyed when it was displayed along with others in New York, San Francisco, Los Angeles and Cleveland in the weeks before the Republican was elected president.

The auction house estimates the statue, which was created by the West Coast anarchist collective INDECLINE, will sell for $20,000 to $30,000.”

St. Louis Post-Dispatch

The anatomically-correct Donald Trump statues elicited shock, rage and disgust when they were erected in several cities around the United States in 2016. There was no security to protect the works of art, and needless to say they were an irresistible targets for vandals. There is an unconfirmed report that a toddler broke his baby tooth biting off the presidential pecker of one of the monstrosities. Only one Donald Trump statue has survived, relatively intact, and it has been put up for auction.

Donald Trump always travels with a Secret Service detail, he is the best protected politician in the world. But if the orange buffoon wasn`t surrounded by bodyguards, he would meet the same fate as his statues. An outraged citizenry would pluck his hair (one by one), tar and feather him, and ride him out of town on a rail.

Who would buy this abomination? A Satanist might find use for the statue in one of their rituals, but a regular person could park it on the porch for Halloween, and use it as a scarecrow for the rest of the year.

I wouldn`t buy the damn thing, the real Trump is already giving me enough nightmares.

Read More:

http://www.stltoday.com/news/national/naked-donald-trump-statue-going-up-for-auction/article_22849c66-e2d3-5eb3-ae66-a3d0ef272a85.html

Wanker Found Guilty of Hate Crime After Making Video of Dog Giving Nazi Salute

“A man who filmed a pet dog giving Nazi salutes before putting the footage on YouTube has been convicted of committing a hate crime.

Mark Meechan, 30, recorded his girlfriend`s pug, Buddha, responding to statements such as `gas the Jews` and `Sieg Heil` by raising its paw.

But police were alerted and he was arrested for allegedly committing a hate crime.

The original clip had been viewed more than three million times on YouTube.”

BBC

In America there is a fascist mindset, especially in academia, that considers not just Nazi ideology but any conservative viewpoint hate speech that shouldn`t be protected under the First Amendment.

I`m more liberal than conservative, but I believe that even controversial conservative or libertarian trolls like Milo Yiannopoulos and Ann Coulter have a constitutionally-protected right to lecture in universities.

I find it abhorrent when televangelists demonize gays, politicians sing the praises of the NRA, and pundits promulgate the lie that Donald Trump is a great president, but all of these views deserve to be heard in a university campus, where diversity of thought should be the default mode of education.

In the UK and Europe we see what happens when unpopular speech is branded as “hate speech” and is treated as a crime.

To post a video on YouTube depicting a dog responding to statements such as “gas the Jews” and “Seig Heil” by raising its paw in a Nazi salute, is ridiculous, abhorrent, disgusting, and incomprehensibly cruel to the victims of Hitler`s Germany, but it shouldn`t be a crime.

A democracy will survive a professional agitator like Milo speaking in a university, and it will survive dozens of racist videos posted on YouTube.

A democracy has really gone to the dogs when a wanker is convicted for posting a silly, but patently racist video.

Read More:

http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-43478925

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Moose the Snoring Pooch is an Internet Sensation

When a human snores he is oblivious to the racket hes making, and he sleeps like a baby while waking up everyone in the household. The only cure for snoring is duct tape for the snoring son of a gun, or earplugs for his longsuffering partner.

Click the link at the bottom of the page to see a sleeping pooch wake himself up with his gentle snoring.

Moose, a mutt who happens to be an emotional support animal, sleeps with his owner, and I doubt he has ever woke her up with his soft snoring.

Moose has a smile on his face as he sleeps next to his owner, and his owner, Alexis Waclawski, is also smiling.

Waclawski rescued Moose from the humane society, and he is registered as an emotional support animal to aid her with anxiety and depression. The dog underwent six weeks of training before he was certified as a therapy animal. But truth be told from the moment a puppy is born he is an unofficial emotional support animal.

My pooch, Mandy, would probably flunk obedience school, but she`s been an excellent emotional support pet for the last decade.

There is an emotional support puppy waiting for you at your local animal shelter, he will help you deal with the trials and tribulations of life. What are you waiting for? Adopt a puppy today!

Moose, the snoring pooch, has become an Internet sensation garnering over a million views. Check out his video:

http://www.toledoblade.com/local/2018/03/20/Snoring-dog-Rossford-resident-reach-millions-on-Twitter.html

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Let’s Pray There Isn’t a Sex Tape of Stormy Daniels and Donald Trump

Only days before porn star Stormy Daniels` interview is scheduled to be broadcast on 60 Minutes to discuss her sexual affair with President Trump, her attorney tweeted a photo of a CD inside an opened safe, suggesting she has photos or videos.

In a caption accompanying the tweet, attorney Michael Avenatti writes: “If `a picture is worth a thousand words,` how many words is this worth?????

If you thought the Hulk Hogan sex video was disgusting and revolting, imagine a sex tape of Daniels and the Orange septuagenarian.

Imagine the consequences of a sex tape of Stormy and Trump being leaked online: Millions would retch is disgust, and a portal into hell would be ripped open.

I want to see Trump ruined and removed from office, nevertheless for the sake of the mental health of humanity I hope the CD only contains images of Stormy and Trump holding hands.

Jim Carrey`s latest painting depicts Trump and Stormy doing the nasty, and I will need therapy for the rest of my life. If I saw a video of them having sex I would probably kill myself.

A presidential seal covers Trump`s genitals, actually Carrey could have painted a presidential pin to cover his presidential junk. The caricature depicts Daniels pulling on Trump`s hair, revealing his bald spot. God I can`t go on with the description, if you want to see the damn thing, click the link at the bottom of the page. But for the love of God don`t blame me if you are traumatized.

Link to dreadful cartoon depicting Trump knocking boots with Stormy:

http://people.com/movies/jim-carrey-draws-donald-trump-having-sex-amid-stormy-daniels-controversy-fifty-shades-of-decay/

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Boxing Match Between Donald (Tiny Hands of Thunder) Trump and Crazy Joe Biden

At the University of Miami`s “It`s On Us” rally, aimed at creating an environment where sexual assault and gender-based violence is unacceptable, former Vice President mused about going Neanderthal on President Donald Trump (I guess Crazy Joe is OK with same-sex violence):

“A guy who ended up becoming our national leader said, `I can grab a woman anywhere, and she likes it.

They asked me if I`d like to debate this gentleman, and I said `no.` I said, `If we were in high school, I`d take him behind the gym and beat the hell out of him.`
I`ve been in a lot of locker rooms my whole life. I`m a pretty darn good athlete. Any guy that talked that way was usually the fattest, ugliest SOB in the room.”

Noted counter-puncher Trump delivered a rapid-fire response on Twitter:

“Crazy Joe Biden is trying to act like a tough guy. Actually, he is weak, both mentally and physically, and yet he threatens me, for the second time, with physical assault. He doesn`t know me, but he would go down fast and hard, crying all the way. Don`t threaten people Joe!”

Can you imagine a boxing match between these demented septuagenarians?

Each round would last 30 seconds following by a five-minute bathroom break.

Trump would demand oversized boxing gloves to compensate for his tiny hands.

Instead of a traditional cut man who treats boxers for cuts and bruises during the breaks between rounds Trump would have a tan man to slather on fake orange tan, and Biden would employ a Rogaine man to tend to his hair implants.

Pervert Biden who never misses an opportunity to kiss, fondle and otherwise molest little girls would hire prepubescent cheerleaders to cheer him on at ringside, and Trump would invite Ivanka to sit on the front row and blow kisses at him.

Instead of a referee the fight would be officiated by a medical doctor.

Both fighters would be clad in black shorts, to hide their soiled diapers.

We feel ripped-off when a highly anticipated pay-per-view boxing match ends after only a couple of rounds, but if this epic match between Trump and Biden ends after only a minute because both combatants died of a heart attack, I don`t think a soul would complain.

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Melania Trump Acknowledges Irony of Her Stance Against Cyberbullying

“First lady Melania Trump, wife of one of the most prolific Twitter agitators, acknowledged criticism of her stance against cyberbullying during an event on the topic Tuesday with technology leaders.
`I`m well aware that people are skeptical of me discussing this topic,` Trump said in her opening remarks during the cyberbullying summit at the White House. `I have been criticized for my commitment to tackling this issue and I know that will continue.`
The remarks appeared to address the contrast between her position against verbal attacks online and the fact that her husband, President Donald Trump, has frequently used Twitter to deride and mock his detractors.”
Politico

The Constitution doesn`t assign any political assignments to a First Lady, to make themselves useful every First Lady adopts a non-controversial pet project. Barbara Bush helped AIDS awareness, Rosalyn Carter became an advocate for refugees, Michelle Obama took on child obesity, and Melania Obama has made cyberbullying her cause.

Melania could have chosen world peace, the opioid epidemic, racial inequality or a hundred other causes, what on Earth compelled her to choose cyberbullying, when her husband is the biggest cyberbully in the world?

Melania embracing online abuse as her pet cause makes as much sense as Stormy Daniels choosing the pernicious effects of pornography on society as her favorite issue.

Melania addressed the elephant in the room and acknowledged that people are skeptical of her discussing that subject. Damn Skippy we are skeptical, Melamnia could raise worldwide awareness of the issue if she publicly condemned her husband for viciously berating his critics on Twitter. If Melania wants to take meaningful action against cyberbullying she should crush her husband`s tiny fingers or flush his cell phone down the toilet.

Despite the criticism Melania insists that she will continue her crusade to make the Internet a safe place for children. Melania is wasting her time, she has absolutely no credibility. What`s she going to do next, become an advocate for survivors of sexual harassment and sexual assault?

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MARCH 2018 ARCHIVES PAGE TWO

https://robertpaulreyes.com/march-2018-archives-page-two/

Two White Women Break the Internet by Eating Mayo out of a Jar

“Concessions at professional sports games can get pricey, so it`s not surprising when fans choose to smuggle in their own snacks.

What was surprising was the snack two Kings fans chose during Monday night`s game: straight-up mayonnaise, apparently.

Captured on TV broadcast as the Kings hosted the Detroit Pistons, two women appear jovial as they take turns eating spoonfuls of what appears to be mayo. The condiment crusader proudly displays the jar, label out, for the camera to see. Then, she offers the jar to her Kings-hat-wearing companion, who tries the stuff with no hesitation, shrugs and then appears to say, `It`s OK.`”

Sacramento Bee

Hot sauce is my favorite condiment, I pour it over my eggs, sandwiches, soups, and just about everything else, and maybe I shouldn`t poke fun at white people`s love of mayo. But ridicule is the coin of the realm online, so here`s my two cents worth:

Mayo is the condiment of choice of white people, they gross out civilized people by ruining perfectly good sandwiches by slathering the semen-like substance all over them.

Mayo is a condiment, it was never intended to be a snack or a meal, but two white women ruined everyone`s appetite by taking turns eating spoonfuls of the nasty stuff out of a jar.

The sadist operating the Jumbotron should be summarily fired, the fans who were there on that fateful night will need therapy for the rest of their lives.

Black folks would never defile a sandwich by smearing it with mayo, and the NBA is about 85% black – weren`t these two white devils aware they were in an NBA arena?

Some folks are trying to justify this abomination by speculating that perhaps it was pudding or ice cream in the mayo jar. I don`t care if the mayo jar was full of delicious ice cream, the sight of anyone eating mayo out of a jar will cause any civilized individual to retch.

The NBA needs to take immediate action and ban these two wicked women, for the rest of their miserable lives, from all NBA arenas.

Link to video: http://www.sacbee.com/sports/nba/sacramento-kings/article206068174.html#storylink=cpy

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Jeff Bezos Walks His Robotic Dog! The Singularity Is Right Around the Corner!

“Jeff Bezos kicked off Amazons annual robotics conference with a scene straight out of a science-fiction movie.

Amazon began its annual invite-only MARS conference on Monday. The conference is dedicated to machine learning, home automation, robotics and space exploration.

Bezos posted a photo on Twitter posing with the dog-like Boston Dynamics robot, and wrote, “Taking my new dog for a walk at the #MARS2018 conference.”

The robot, named SpotMini, has become popular on the internet after unsettling videos of it learning how to open doors went viral on YouTube. Some viewers tweeted their fear that the robot would end all humans.”

CNBC

There is nothing more heartwarming than watching a man walking his dog. A man and his canine companion walking in quiet tandem speaks volumes about the innate goodness of life.

The photograph of Bezos walking with his robot dog is horrifying, it`s an omen of humankind`s eventual enslavement to artificial intelligence.

Bezos posted this fear-inducing image on Twitter, this misanthrope takes pleasure in the rise of the machines.

Bezos` robotic dog has learned how to open doors, soon SpotMini Version II will lock you out of your home, consigning you to the doghouse.

I certainly don`t advocate violence against anyone, but I must confess that I fantasize about going low-tech on Bezos and flattening him and his steel hound from hell with a bulldozer.

Pic of Bezos walking his infernal dog:

https://www.cnbc.com/2018/03/19/jeff-bezos-took-boston-dynamics-robot-dog-for-a-walk-at-mars.html

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Jim Carrey’s Painting of Sarah Huckabee Sanders is a Masterpiece

“Jim Carrey, who says he began painting six years ago to heal a broken heart following his split from Jenny McCarthy, primarily paints in his studio in downtown Manhattan, and his art has been featured in a number of galleries, including the Wyland Galleries in Waikiki, Hawaii, and Lake Tahoe, California.

Since November, around the one-year mark under President Trump, Carrey has been busy creating satirical cartoons of the Trump administration and the Republican congressmen under his sway-and then tweeting them out to his 17.9 million followers.”

The Daily Beast

Jim Carrey was a comic god in the late 1990s and 2000`s, his slapstick stand-up performances and his energetic comedic movies earned him a legion of fans.

But truth be told Carrey hasn`t had a hit in decades, it`s a miracle his shtick enjoyed such lasting power. I was an early fan of Carrey, but today I`d rather be hit over the head with a sledgehammer than endure more than five minutes of his stand-up routine.

Fortunately, Carrey didn`t disappear from the spotlight when his movie career went kaput, he`s enjoyed a second career as a painter.

You wouldn`t expect a slapstick comedy star to turn into a classical painter, and indeed he hasn`t, his panting style can best be described as satirical caricatures.

Carrey is a genius in his chosen style, and lately he`s focused on painting Trump and his henchmen.

His piece de resistance is a painting of Press Secretary Sarah Sanders. He shared his painting of Sarah without naming her. The caption under her painting read:

This is the portrait of a so-called Christian whose only purpose in life is to lie for the wicked. Monstrous

Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, but I daresay that 99 out of 100 men would agree that Sanders is butt ugly. It wouldn`t be entirely accurate to label Carrey`s depiction of her a caricature, because in real life she looks like a caricature.

White evangelicals have their feces-encrusted thongs in a twist because Carrey called her a “so-called Christian,” but that`s an accurate description for all white evangelicals.

Sanders is a malignant tumor who daily excuses, justifies and flat-out lies on behalf of the most evil and unchristian steaming pile of dung to ever sit in the Oval Office.

Carrey`s depiction of Sanders is a masterpiece, it perfectly captures her demonic essence.

I hope Carrey enjoys as long a period of fame as a painter as he enjoyed as a comedy star, especially if he continues to paint members of the Trump administration.

Link to the pic of the most evil woman in Washington:

https://www.thedailybeast.com/jim-carreys-satirical-cartoons-skewering-the-trump-administration-and-soulless-gop?source=twitter&via=mobile

Will America Survive Donald Trump’s Golden Showers?

The White House is Swamp Incorporated, on a daily basis we are inundated with toxic tweets, political intrigue, mixed messages, the toxic aftermath of presidential liaisons with porn stars and Playboy centerfolds, excuses for Russian treachery, and just about everything else that stinks to high heaven.

We`ve been experiencing a flood of Biblical proportions for the last year, but we are being drenched not with cleansing rain, but with golden showers.

Christopher Steele`s infamous dossier included the salacious claim that Donald Trump once ordered hookers to perform a golden show in front of him while at a hotel in Russia.

Excerpt from Steele`s dossier:

According to the Source D, where s/he had been present, TRUMP`s (perverted) conduct in Moscow included hiring the suite if the Ritz Carlton Hotel, where he knew President and Mrs OBAMA (whom he hated) had stayed on one of their official trips to Russia, and defiling the bed where they had slept by employing prostitutes to perform a `golden showers` (urination) show in front of him. The hotel was known to be under FSB control with microphones and concealed cameras in all the main rooms to record anything they wanted to.

This dossier was published in 2017, and the golden rain is still staining and corrupting our moral infrastructure.

There have been countless articles, theses and even books written about Donald Trump`s pee tape. Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton`s sex tapes failed to break the Internet, but if Trump`s pee tape is ever leaked online it may be the final nail in the coffin of Western Civilization.

It`s impossible to go online, read a newspaper, or watch the TV news without being drenched by the golden showers emanating from the Trump administration.

America survived Monica Lewinsky`s DNA-stained blue dress, and her orifice being employed as a cigar humidifier, and I`m confident that we will survive Trump`s seemingly endless golden showers.

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Donald Trump Exposed on New Yorker Cover: Barry Blitt Masterpiece

“The cover of the upcoming issue of The New Yorker features an image of Donald Trump standing nude as he answers questions from a gaggle of reporters with their hands in the air. A judiciously placed lectern covers a crucial part of the president`s anatomy as he points to a member of the press.”

Huffington Post

What message is the artist, Barry Blitt attempting to convey?

That the press and the public is so used to Donald Trump`s outrageous behavior, that nothing he does shocks us anymore? Indeed, if Trump held a news conference in the buff, the event would go on as planned, and not one of the reporters would inquire: Sir, why are you naked?

That the press has exposed Trump as an emperor who isn`t wearing any clothes? It doesn`t matter if the media has exposed Trump as a racist buffoon who is in over his head, his base still treats him like the Second Coming of Jesus Christ. If Trump held a news conference butt naked, the likes of Sean Hannity and Laura Ingraham would tell their viewers that he wore a beautiful red tie, and a conservative blue business suit.

That Trump believes that the rules and conventions of polite society don`t apply to him, and that the public must accept him on his own terms? And by golly, if he does a press conference in the nude, the press must act as if that`s par for the course?

Blitt depicts Trump as a huge figure who towers over the assembled reporters. Is Blitt saying that Trump is a bigger than life figure, or is he simply illustrating the obvious fact that he is a fat pig?

I`m not sure what message Blitt was trying to convey, but I do know that he deserves a Pulitzer Prize. That huge naked illustration of Trump brilliantly captures his brazen decadence.

Link to Blitt`s masterpiece:

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-exposed-new-yorker_us_5aac53ace4b05b2217fed6fb

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Trump’s Bowling Ball Test

“President Donald Trump often speaks of how other countries treat American products unfairly. At a private fundraising event in Missouri, Trump singled out a particular practice in Japan.

`It`s called the bowling ball test. Do you know what that is?` Trump said, according to a recording obtained by the Washington Post. `That`s where they take a bowling ball from 20 feet up in the air, and they drop it on the hood of the car. And if the hood dents, then the car doesn`t qualify. Well, guess what, the roof dented a little bit, and they said, nope, this car doesn`t qualify. It`s horrible, the way we`re treated. It`s horrible.`”

Politifact

The Washington Post noted: It was unclear what he was talking about. No shi*! The same thing could be said after almost every Trump comment.

When White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders was asked in her regular press briefing, what the heck Trump was talking about, she responded that he was just joking. That`s the default explanation for Trump aides when their boss utters a ridiculous statement.

I have my own version of the Bowling Ball Test, if you believe Japan employs a bowling ball test to disqualify American imports, or just about anything else that emanates from Trump`s sphincter-shaped mouth, you have the IQ of a bowling ball.

If you drop a bowling ball from 20 feet up in the air on the hood of any car, be it a Mercedes-Benz or a Ford Focus, the hood will cave in.

Modern cars are intentionally made to crush under even a moderate impact, the more a car crushes the more it absorbs the energy. Better the automobile absorb the impact than a bowling ball or a human head.

I wish a patriot would end this charade and drop a bowling ball on Trump`s head from 200 feet in the air. Please no calls from the Secret Service, like Trump I have a penchant for joking around.

Read More:

http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statements/2018/mar/15/donald-trump/trump-botches-japanese-bowling-ball-test/

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Cops to Get Police Cat!

“Last week, the Troy Police Department set a goal: 10,000 Twitter followers by April and the department gets a police cat.

Well, they hit the goal on Wednesday morning, which means it`s time for police cat!

Click on Detroit

Every police department worth its salt has a K-9 officer, but a canine officer ain`t no therapy animal, and it can`t be used in community outreach.

A canine officer who runs down criminals, and sniffs out your stash isn`t going to engender warm and cozy feelings toward cops.

I give a K-9 officer a wide berth, but if I see a cop petting a Kitty Officer I would feel compelled to pet the cat and hug his human handler.

The Kitty Officer will be expected to make public appearances on behalf of the police department, but he won`t live in the police station. He will go home every night with an officer.

This is simply a brilliant idea, can you imagine a cat wearing a police hat? He would inspire hundreds of kids to become police officers!

Read More:

https://www.clickondetroit.com/news/pawesome-troy-to-get-police-cat-after-hitting-twitter-goal

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Stormy Daniels Begs Fans to Pay Legal Fees for Lawsuit Against Donald Trump

“Stormy Daniels, the former porn star who says she had an affair with Trump in his pre-political days, is raising money to pay the legal fees and potential damages for her lawsuit against him.

The suit alleges that the hush agreement that keeps Daniels, whose real name is Stephanie Clifford, from telling her story is invalid.

On the site – which was tweeted about by Daniels` lawyer, Michael Avenatti – Daniels said she would use the funds raised to pay for attorneys` fees, out-of-pocket costs associated with the lawsuit, security expenses and damages if she loses her suit. She said she did not have the “vast resources” to fight Trump and lawyer Michael Cohen on her own.

Per the crowd fundraiser, Cohen and Trump have threatened damages amounting to $1 million for every time she speaks out about the alleged affair.”

USA Today

Throughout his career real estate mogul Donald Trump sued or threatened to sue his business competitors as a form of intimidation. It`s poetic justice that now that he`s president a porn star is suing him in an attempt to break her nondisclosure agreement.

Trump was a moron for screwing around with a high profile porn star, and Daniels was a moron for agreeing to keep her diseased trap shut for a measly $130,000.

Now the shameless porn starlet is begging her fans to finance her suit against the president. Daniels no longer makes porn flicks, but she should make a couple more to finance her lawsuit. A couple of possible movie titles:

A Wrinkle in Time: The Odyssey of a Whore through Space and Time to Find the Perfect Lover.

The Black Panther from Wakanda Tangles with the White Skank from Baton Rouge.

Here`s how I hope and pray this sordid affair plays out: Daniels wins her lawsuit and sells a sex tape online depicting her drenching Trump in golden showers. This is too much even for Trump`s white evangelical supports to stomach and they finally turn against the bastard. But before Daniels can cash her first check she dies of syphilis.

Read More:

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/onpolitics/2018/03/14/stormy-daniels-launches-crowd-fundraiser-pay-legal-costs-suit-against-trump/425413002/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Court Rules Alleging Richard Simmons is Transitioning from Man to Woman Isn’t Defamation

“Richard Simmons was ordered to pay nearly $130,000 to the National Enquirer and Radar Online after the exercise guru sued the two media outlets for running a series of articles alleging he was transitioning to become a woman.

Simmons, 69, was ordered by Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Gregory Keosian Friday to pay the media outlets` attorneys` fees and American Media, their publisher, the Los Angeles Times reported.

Simmons sued the media outlets in May for a series of articles that alleged the fitness guru was transitioning to become a woman. He claimed that, while he holds no personal ill-feelings toward the transgender community, the articles were false and defamatory to his character. Simmons` lawyers argued that as a public figure, he has a legal right to “not be portrayed as someone he is not.”

However, Keosian ruled that alleging someone is transgender is not necessarily defamatory. Keosian dismissed Simmons case on Sept. 1, 2017.”

Fox News

Richard Simmons is an eccentric and he offends my aesthetic sensibilities, whenever I see him on TV with his shaved body and tiny shorts I want to blow up my screen with my shotgun.

But different strokes for different folks, and if the fey bastard is your cup of tea, more power to you.

Richard Simmons has disappeared from the national spotlight, he hasn`t made a public appearance in years, and most of us are delighted that he`s become a recluse.

Naturally publications that feature celebrities are going to speculate on the reason for his disappearance. The National Enquirer and Radar Online naturally concluded that the little freak was in hiding as he transitioned to become a woman.

Simmons sued these fine publications for defamation, and the judge correctly ruled that alleging someone is transgender isn`t defamation.

If they had impugned his motivation for transitioning from a male to a female, and alleged that he wasn`t suffering from gender dysphoria but was following in the footsteps of noted drama queen Bruce Jenner and he was interested only in publicity that would have been defamation.

The little ninny is 69-freaking-years-old, and he should be focusing on transitioning from a man to a corpse.

Read More:

http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2018/03/13/richard-simmons-ordered-to-pay-130g-to-national-enquirer-radar-online.html

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White Evangelicals are the Greatest Threat to Christianity and Democracy

President Donald Trump is the most crude, vulgar, petty, corrupt and unchristian president in history:

Trump`s charitable foundation makes the Clinton foundation look like a paragon of virtue. Trump`s foundation admitted violating federal rules on self-dealing that bars nonprofit leaders from funneling their charity`s money to themselves, their business or their families. Every Trump enterprise is self-dealing from his faux university to his stint as president of the United States.

Before he became a politician Trump darkened the door of a church only three times, to get married. During his presidential campaign and his first year in office he`s attended church a couple more times, just to prove to his less faithful evangelical supporters that he`s not the Antichrist.

Trump believes in the Golden Rule: He that has the gold makes the rules. And the corollary: He that has the gold can disregard the rules.

Trump doesn`t know crap about the Bible, the only books he can remember are Genesis and Two Corinthians. The only time he touches a Bible is for depositions, and when he runs out of toilet paper.

Trump`s never uttered a prayer in his life, although he cynically offers his thoughts and prayers after a national tragedy.

Trump has never apologized to any of the countless politicians, celebrities, journalists and judges that he has crudely mocked and ridiculed, and he famously declared that he`s never asked God for forgiveness.

This is the cesspool of evil that white evangelicals venerate and treat like the Second Coming of Jesus Christ. Thank you Donald Trump for exposing the moral bankruptcy of white evangelicals. Thank you Donald Trump for educating us to the truth that white evangelicals are the greatest danger to Christianity and democracy.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Stormy Daniels Isn’t An Icon of Female Empowerment, She’s a Disease-Ridden Skank

“Stephanie Clifford, aka Stormy Daniels, is having a field day on Twitter with the many people who are insulting her now that she wants to speak out about an affair she says she had with President Donald Trump.

Clifford is embroiled in a legal battle over whether a non-disclosure agreement she signed in October 2016 in return for $130,000 is valid. But while the case plays out, the porn star is responding to haters on Twitter with some hilarious snark, including chastising one user for misspelling skank.

One tweet in particular amused Clifford:

ROFL As if Donald Trump would sleep with a disease ridden slut like you, all you are is a glorified prostitute after quick cash. Why would he want you when he has Ivanka? Better looking and miles more classy than you could ever hope to be. People like you give women a bad rep.”

Deano

AOL.Com

Daniels may be motivated by fame and money to spill the beans on her sexual relationship with Trump, nevertheless in the interests of truth and transparency I hope she spills her guts.

Deano`s tweet may have amused the porn star, but his assertion that she`s a disease-ridden slut is spot on.

Daniels is indeed a glorified prostitute after quick cash. According to Merriam-Webster dictionary a prostitute is a person, in particular a woman, who engages in sexual activity for payment.

Prostitutes engage in sexual activity for money in private, but Daniels performs her dirty deeds on film, there is no shame in her game. You don`t have to be Daniels` gynecologist to deduce that her orifices are crawling with STD`s.

Trump is a noted germaphobe who hates shaking hands, however his lust for women of dubious virtue trumps his fear of germs. Trump has a history of bedding disease-ridden porn stars and cavorting with golden showers-loving hookers. Trump would have no problem sleeping with a disease-ridden skank like Daniels.

Deano is mistaking Trump`s daughter Ivanka for his wife Melania, however Trump does have incestuous yearnings for his daughter. Trump once confessed that if Ivanka weren`t my daughter perhaps I`d be dating her.

Deano states that people like Daniels give women a bad name, it would be more accurate to state that Daniels gives sluts a bad name.

Daniels isn`t a feminist icon and a symbol of female empowerment, on the contrary she`s a symbol of the dehumanization, objectification and exploitation of women.

The pornographic industry is controlled by organized crime, and the vast majority of women in this business are treated like dogs. The ethos of the pimp, “Pimps Up, Hoes Down,” is the mission statement of the porn industry.

Legions of girls and young women who dream of being a glamorous porn star like Daniels end up living in crack motels making porn flicks that are too sleazy for PornHub.com

Screw Daniels, she`s nothing but a disease-ridden slut.

Read More:

https://www.aol.com/article/news/2018/03/09/stormy-daniels-has-some-amazing-comebacks-for-angry-people-on-twitter/23381854/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Woman Says She Was Injured by Drag Queen’s Breast, Sues Hamburger Mary’s in Tampa

“A woman who said she was injured by a drag queen`s breast is suing the Hamburger Mary`s restaurant in Tampa, records show.

In a civil complaint filed last month in Hillsborough County, Neldin Molina of Denver said she went to the restaurant May 30, 2015, for a friend`s birthday, unaware that there would be a performance. Hamburger Mary`s, a chain with several Florida locations, including one on Church Street in Orlando, is known for its drag shows.

During the show, Molina said a performer grabbed her head and `wiggle[d] her breast against Molina`s face and head at least 8 times.` Molina said the performer then violently”pounded her head against the performer`s chest up to 9 times.”

Orlando Sentinel

Molina is being disingenuous when she claims that she had no idea that there would be a drag performance at Hamburger Mary`s, and therefore no expectation that she would have a close encounter of the 3rd kind with a drag performer`s breast.

Hamburger Mary`s is only the most gay-oriented restaurant chain in the galaxy, their motto is “Eat, Drink and be Mary!” “Mary” in the motto is a reference to the slang “Mary” used for gay men as far back as the early 1900s.

If you go to a “Hamburger Mary” restaurant you know damn well that a drag performance may break out at any time, just as you know that a fistfight between rednecks may break out at any time when you patronize a “Waffle House” diner.

Granted nobody should expect to be assaulted by a drag performer`s breast, but if Molina lied about being oblivious to the fact that she was in a restaurant that caters to a gay clientele and features drag performances, she`s also probably lying when she claims that the drag performer violently pounded her head against his breast.

Methinks this is another frivolous lawsuit, the judge should dismiss her case and give her a voucher for a free meal at a hamburger joint like McDonald`s where there will be zero chance that she would be assaulted by a drag queen.

Read More:

http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/breaking-news/os-hamburger-marys-restaurant-injured-drag-queen-breast-20180309-story.html

Donald Trump aka Denny Dennison is a Filthy Pig

President Donald Trump`s personal attorney, Michael Cohen has publicly declared that he paid porn star Stormy Daniels $130,000 to maintain discretion regarding her sexual relationship with Trump in 2006.

But paying a porn star to keep her trap shut makes as much sense as paying her to keep her legs closed, and she`s chomping at the bit to break her nondisclosure agreement and tell all for a hell of a lot more than $130,000.

Stormy Daniels isn`t her Christian name, she was christened Stephanie Gregor Clifford. It`s imperative that a porn star or a stripper adopt a sexy moniker like Wendy Wild, Summer Vixen or Jaden Hollywood. No dude wants to pay good money to receive a lap dance from a stripper named Betty Smith.

It`s par for the course for a porn actress to use a pseudonym, but why did Cohen use an alias (Denny Dennison) for Trump in the nondisclosure agreement?

Denny Dennison? Please! Denny Dennison is the name of a baseball player or an assembly line worker. When Anthony Weiner was trolling for underage girls online he used the fake name “Carlos Danger.” When Trump cavorts with porn stars and playboy centerfolds he should call himself “Wonder Mike” or “Dangerous Dick.”

I hope that Donald Trump aka Denny Dennison aka Fuc*ing Moron pays the price for paying off a porn star to keep quiet a few days before the 2016 election.
Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Duchess of Cambridge Has Deformed Hands: Is She a Clone, Shape-Shifting Reptilian or Spawn of Satan?

“Duchess Kate is known for making headlines for her chic and frequently affordable style, sweet philanthropic moments and inspirational parenting advice, but now shes making news in the lifestyle world for a very different reason: Her hands.

Kate`s long and delicate fingers are going viral for an unusual reason — it seems that her pointer, ring and middle fingers are all the same length.”

AOL

The Duchess of Cambridge has a maternal glow, and her baby bump is garnering a lot of attention.

But nowhere near as much attention as her deformed hands, her pointer, ring and middle fingers are all the same length. Needless to say this is not normal, and it has the stench of sulfur.

There`s no need to burn this demonic royal at the stake, but the Queen Mother should issue a royal decree ordering Kate never to go out in public without wearing white gloves.

Is lovely Kate a spawn of Satan, a reptilian shape-shifter or a clone? God only knows, but the debate will linger as long as she continues to brazenly show off her witch`s hands.

And I thought Donald Trump`s short hands were repulsive …

Pic of Kate`s evil hands:

https://www.aol.com/article/lifestyle/2018/03/07/people-are-going-crazy-over-duchess-kates-weird-hands/23379585/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Stormy Daniels is a Porn Star, Not an Adult Movie Actress!

Porn star Stormy Daniels (aka Stephanie Clifford) is in the news again because she sued President Donald Trump (aka Orange Baboon) in California court – alleging that he never signed a “hush agreement” over an alleged sexual relationship between the two, making the agreement null and void.

This article isn`t about whether or not Trump had an intimate affair with Daniels, and then had her lawyer pay her hush money, even Trump`s most ardent supporters admit that Trump had a sexual relationship with her.

I was watching CNN the other day and anchor Brooke Baldwin referred to Daniels as a porn star, when defense attorney Mark John Geragos quickly jumped all over her for referring to her as a porn star instead of as an “adult movie actress.” For the remainder of the interview Brooke called Daniels an “adult movie star.”

Enough of this politically-correct BS! Daniels appeared in over a hundred pornographic movies, which makes her a porn star.

Porn movies have cheesy dialogue, substandard production values, and wooden acting, those aren`t the qualities that I equate with a movie that would be enjoyed by adults.

In most porn flicks women are brutalized and objectified, once again I don`t associate such cinematic garbage with “adult films.” Citizen Kane is an adult film, the movies Daniels starred in are porn flicks.

Stormy Daniels has sex for money which makes her a prostitute who appears in porn movies. She doesn`t deserve to be called an “adult movie actress.”

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes