Month: May 2017

BlessU-2 Robot Priest is Superior to Pedophile Priests

“BlessU-2, which delivers blessings in five languages, is intended to trigger debate about the future of the church.

A robot priest that delivers blessings in five languages and beams light from its hands has been unveiled as part of an exhibition to mark the anniversary of the start of the Reformation, a Europe-wide religious, political and cultural upheaval sparked when Luther nailed his 95 theses to a church door in the town.

Half a millennium later, the robot, called BlessU-2, is intended to trigger debate about the future of the church and the potential of artificial intelligence.”

The Guardian

The robot padre is an answer to the two major problems facing the Roman Catholic Church: A critical shortage of clergy and pedophile priests.

BlessU-2 may beam light from its hands, but it isn`t going to use its mechanical hands to fondle little boys. Celibate robots are the answer to celibate priests with a prediction for molesting and raping young boys.

The Roman Catholic Church should replace all of their priests with mechanical ones, the critical shortage of clergy would immediately be solved, and the church wouldn`t have to spend millions in training ministers. If all of the robot priests are given male names, the church might see robot preachers as a divine answer.

The robot priests are limited in what they can do, they can recite blessings in five language and they can make their hands glow, that`s it. But come to think of it that`s all they really need to do, 99% of the duties the men of the cloth perform are religious tomfoolery. I`d be perfectly happy if my parish father was limited to reciting blessings.

I`m down with the robotic program, to hell with the flesh and blood pedophile priests, bring on the robot priests. Hallelujah! To hell with the “men of God”! Praise Jesus for the robots of God!

Read More:

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2017/may/30/robot-priest-blessu-2-germany-reformation-exhibition

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Maintenance Guy Plays With Homeowner’s Cat: Video

“I broke the pull string light switch in my laundry room.

cat My apartment maintenance guy came to fix it and had a great time playing with my cat on his way out.”
YouTube video description
When I lived in an apartment, I always hated it when the landlord scheduled the maintenance guy to make repairs while I was at work. I always wondered, will the dude go through my personal stuff, watch porn on my computer or tease my cats?
Nobody had surveillance cameras in their homes in those days, so God only knows what the dude did in my apartment. Now I have a home security system that includes surveillance cameras, but I still wouldn`t allow a contractor to work in my house when I`m not home.

It restores my faith in human nature that this maintenance guy fixed the problem and played with the cat.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Tiger Woods Arrested on Suspicion of DUI! What’s Next: Retirement or Suicide?

Tiger Woods, golfing icon, was arrested on a DUI charge in Florida early Monday morning, and his mugshot has gone viral.

Tiger`s mugshot makes Nick Notle`s infamous mugshot look like a wedding photograph.

Dead Eyes

Unkempt hair

Scraggly goatee

Bloated face

Generic white T-shirt

 Crooked mouth

This mugshot is a perfect representation of the dissolute state of Tiger`s soul. When Woods crashed his car into a fire hydrant on November 27, 2009 he was exposed as a hypocrite and serial adulterer, and his golfing career and professional reputation has never recovered.

In his mugshot the disgraced golfer doesn`t look like the legend who mastered the greatest golf courses in the world, he looks like a homeless person who would be arrested if he tried sneaking into a golf resort.

If I met Woods looking like he does in his mugshot I wouldn`t know if I should give him a dollar or shoot him right between the eyes to put him out of his misery. Injuries and scandals have robbed Woods of his golfing skills, at this stage in his life and in his career he shouldn`t dismiss ritual suicide as a valid option.

Link to his mugshot:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4552628/Tiger-Woods-arrested-DUI.html

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Burger King Mascot Creepiest Mascot of All Time

“Belgium`s royal family says it has contacted the fast food chain Burger King over an ad that invites people to choose between the country`s King Philippe and the company`s mascot.
The ad, on whoistheking.be, asks those who choose Philippe: Are you sure? He won`t be the one to cook your fries.
A spokesman said the use of the king`s image must be approved by the royal family, but they had not been asked.

On the website, Philippe is represented by a cartoon.”
BBC
I love Burger King, I would be perfectly content to subsist on a diet of Whoppers and burgers for the rest of my life, however short that life may be.
But I loathe with an undying loathing the perpetually smiling, plastic-faced Burger King mascot, he is the creepiest fast food mascot of all time.

Any father would let his only daughter marry Ronald McDonald, rather than allow her go out on one date with the perversely creepy Burger King.

The Burger King corporation banished the loathsome king in 2011, but for some unfathomable reason he made a comeback in 2015.

I don`t live in Belgium but I went to the whoishteking.be Web site to vote for King Philippe over Burger King. I would vote for any world leader, including Kim Jong-un over the Burger King, with the exception of Donald Trump.

There`s nothing better in the world than biting into a juicy Big Whopper, but if a Burger King commercial featuring the Burger King comes on while I`m eating the burger, it would make me vomit.

Burger King would be well-advised to banish the Burger King forever!

 Read More:

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-40073285

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Donald Trump’s Tweets May be Vetted by a Team of Lawyers

“The White House is considering having a team of lawyers approve Donald Trump`s tweets, The Wall Street Journal reported on Friday, citing an advisor to the president.

Although the idea is under consideration, Trump aides told the Journal that such a procedure would be hard to put in place.

If implemented, the move would certainly lift a burden on the White House press office, which often finds itself trying to explain why Trump`s tweets diverge so sharply from the tightly crafted official statements.”

CNBC

President Donald Trump finally realized that the shit has hit the fan, and it`s dripping all over him and his staff. Therefore he hired a New York-based lawyer Marc Kasowitz to represent him in the Justice Department Russiagate investigation.

Kasowitz has a reputation for being a tenacious litigator and he will fight the opposition tooth and nail, and he`s not going to put up with any tomfoolery from his client, Donald Trump.

It takes a team of attorneys to vett Trump`s tweets to protect him from slandering his enemies, but most importantly from incriminating himself.

Trump would be well-advised to also hire a grammatican to spellcheck and correct his grammatical mistakes. How can we convince our children that grammar matters when Trump`s tweets seem to be the handiwork of a monkey tapping at a keyboard.

Come to think of it, he should also hire a psychiatrist to look over his tweets. The shrink would be busy deleting all tweets that smack of paranoia and delusion.

Or Trump could just hire Mr. T as his social media guru, and if Trump so much as opens Twitter on his phone he would break his stubby little fingers.

Read More:

http://www.cnbc.com/2017/05/26/lawyers-may-vet-trump-tweets-white-house-weighs-strategy-shiftt.html

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

A Tale Involving a Naked Burglar, a Bucket, and a $25,000 Swan Sculpture

“Authorities in Florida are asking for the public`s help finding a large $25,000 swan sculpture stolen by a naked man.

The Polk County Sheriff`s Office said surveillance cameras at Lakeland Cold Storage were recording just before 5 a.m. May 19 when a naked man carrying a 5-gallon bucket squeezed through a gap in the fence.
`Do you call that buck naked, or bucket naked?` the sheriff`s office quipped in a Facebook post.”

UPI

A sordid story involving a buck naked burglar, a bucket, and a $25,000 swan sculpture could only happen in Florida. I`m just surprised that the stolen item wasn`t a $2 plastic pink flamingo.

The burglar must have balls the size of bowling balls, it takes real balls to squeeze through a gap in a chain link fence when you are naked.

The burglar has been nabbed, but the swan is still missing. The naked burglar probably sold in on eBay for $20 so he could buy some meth.

God have mercy on Floridians.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Donald Trump is Rapidly Deteriorating! He Must be Impeached!

“The way Donald Trumps speaking style has changed over the decades could point to a deterioration in the health of his brain, it has been claimed.

Researchers from the medical science website Stat analysed interviews the US President has given spanning decades, and then asked psychologists, psychiatrists and experts in cognitive assessment and neurolinguistics to assess the results.

In interviews in the 1980s, Mr Trump was noted as using sophisticated vocabulary and speaking articulately.

More recently, the President`s vocabulary is simpler, he repeats himself often and tends to jump from one subject to another.”

Independent

The dramatic decline in grammar and syntax can be due to a number of factors including:

Alcohol or drugs

Fatigue

Stress

Age

Mental issues

Frustration

Trump is a teetotaler and he doesn`t have a history of using controlled substances. During debates and interviews he sometimes sniffles as if he was tweaking, but that`s evidence of lying not cocaine use.

The Orange Menace is a workaholic and he gets by on four hours of sleep, fatigue won`t catch up with him until the Grim Reaper drags him to hell.

Trump thrives on stress and chaos, he doesn`t get stress, he stresses out everybody with the misfortune of having to business with him.

Donald Trump is 70-freaking-years-old, and nobody expects a septuagenarian to be as mentally agile as a middle-aged president like Barack Obama or George Bush. Trump`s grammar-impaired tweets and his bellicose and incoherent speeches would be enough to have him committed if he wasn`t so wealthy and powerful.

But age alone can`t explain the rapid deterioration of Trump`s speaking abilities, he has mental issues, or in Trumpspeak he`s freaking bonkers!

Frustration is also a factor in Trump`s declining speaking abilities, by his own admission he thought being president would be easier than running a financial empire or being a reality TV entertainer. Trump is incredibly frustrated that the courts are overturning his executive orders, and that he can`t get any major legislation through the Republican-controlled Congress. He is totally pissed off that the media are reporting the objective truth: That he`s an incompetent clown who is totally screwing everything up.

I pray that his resignation speech will be written by a professional speechwriter, so that at least his last speech as president will be coherent and worth preserving for future generations.

Read More: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/donald-trump-speaking-style-brain-health-questions-mental-research-a7756946.html

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Chinese Driver Uses Umbrella While Driving Convertible in Rain! Write Your Own Joke!

“A Chinese driver who apparently didn`t want to put his convertible top up in the rain was filmed driving down the highway with an umbrella.

The video, filmed earlier this month, shows a man driving a red Mercedes-Benz convertible during a rain storm in Guangyuan, Sichuan Province.”

UPI

If you look up the word “clueless” in the dictionary, you will see a photograph of this Chinese dude driving a convertible top up in the rain down the highway with an umbrella.

When I`m speeding down the freeway the last thing I want to see is an Asian driver holding an umbrella, I`d rather encounter a woman texting and applying makeup at the same time.

Asians are notoriously bad drivers, they shouldn`t be given a driver`s license unless they swear to always have both hands on the steering wheel in the 10 and 2 position.

This story confirms my belief that life is absurd, if life was fair this clueless clown would be driving a Ford Pinto and not a beautiful machine like a Mercedes-Benz convertible.

Link to video:

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/05/25/Man-holds-umbrella-while-driving-convertible-in-the-rain/3081495741280/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=3

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

What’s the One App Donald Trump Should Have on His Phone?

“One fun thing: POTUS` current device is an iPhone with ONE app: Twitter.”

Axios

The average millennial has dozens of apps on his phone, it`s not surprising that a septuagenarian has only one. Considering how much trouble Trump has got into on Twitter, imagine the chaos if he learns about other apps like Tinder. The short-fingered vulgarian would be swiping right like crazy and hooking up with all sorts of skanks.

What is the one indispensable app that Trump should have on his iPhone:

INSTANT GRAMMAR AND SPELL CHECKER

This would be perfect for the grammar-challenged moron.

SNAPCHAT

The principal feature of Snapchat is that pictures and messages are only available for a short time before they become inaccessible. If Trump communicated only via Snapchat it would be less likely that his inane thoughts would go viral.

YOUTUBE

I would recommend that Trump subscribe to channels featuring makeup tutorials. What`s up with the orange complexion?

ENGLISH PRONUNCIATION APP

If I hear Trump mispronounce “China” one more time, I`m going bonkers!

FART SOUNDS PRANK

This fart sound app would provide countless hours of entertainment for Trump, he could drive Mike Pence to loss his salvation by blaming him for farting. If Trump spent his time farting around with this app he would have less time to destroy our country.

Dear loyal readers what`s the one app that you think Trump should have on his phone?

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Pope Francis Looks Mortified to be Taking Photo With Donald Trump

“All eyes were on the Vatican on Wednesday when Trump, along with members of his family and political inner circle, shared a private audience with the pontiff. Trump had a half hour of the pope`s time for a discussion; they also exchanged gifts and posed for pictures. One image in particular, of a grinning Trump next to a stone-faced Pope Francis, has gone viral.”

Time Magazine

Donald Trump`s daughter, Ivanka, and his wife Melania, are standing immediately to his right, dressed in black with their heads covered in black veils, they look like the most beautiful witches this side of hell.

On the other side of Trump, with a foot of separation,stands a stone-faced Pope Francis, looking dignified and resplendent in his white papal vestments and his white skullcap.

The pope was wearing a cross as big as Mack truck, let`s hope and pray that it provided him enough protection from the likes of the Trumps.

It looks like they posed for a photograph before they split ways, the Trumps to attend a Black Mass, and the pontiff to hear confession.

To show you the depravity of the human heart, I`d rather join a séance with the beautiful but evil Trump ladies than have an audience with Pope Francis.

Link to photo:

http://time.com/4792245/pope-francis-donald-trump-viral-photo/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

MAY ARCHIVES PAGE 2:

https://robertpaulreyes.com/page-2-of-may-2017-archives-of-robert-paul-reyes-articles/

What’s Going to Happen When Antichrist Donald Trump Meets Pope Francis?

American evangelical leaders heartily embraced Donald Trump, and white evangelicals voters provided the impetus to push Trump over the top in a few critical states. We have evangelicals to thank for the most stupid, ignorant, vulgar, crude and egotistical president in history.

Evangelicals will never admit their mistake, even when their Messiah is eventually (God Willing) impeached, for them loyalty to Trump is as much a tenet of their faith as believing in the Virgin Birth of Jesus Christ.

Evangelicals have done serious and irreparable harm to their reputation, how the hell can anyone take these Trump lovers seriously when they preach their message of redemption and renewal in the name of Christ?

Not content with having destroyed the evangelical faith in America, Trump is now set to meet the Pope in the Vatican. On Wednesday one of the most credible and respected religious leaders of our generation will meet one of the least credible and most vilified politicians of our day.

In order to survive this meeting with his reputation intact the Vicar of Christ must refrain from diplomatic niceties and religious platitudes, and treat Trump with respect but not utter a single word of praise. Trump has destroyed evangelicalism in America, he must not be allowed to destroy Catholicism.

Trump isn`t going to experience an epiphany at 70-freaking years old, and I`m sure the Pontiff isn`t going to try to convert the old reprobate. The Pope would be better off taking Trump to the bowels of the Vatican, and having a team of exorcists attempt to drive the demons from the vulgar bastard.

When antimatter meets matter annihilation occurs, when the Antichrist Trump meets Pope Francis let`s pray that the Pontiff survives the meeting, and that Trump will be so unnerved that he will go nuts and act crazy, and be committed. Wishful thinking, Trump is already nuts, and he is already acting crazy and Republicans act as if he`s the Second Coming of Ronald Reagan.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

What a Farce! Saudi Arabia Opens Global Center for Combating Extremist Ideology

President DonaldTrump on Sunday participated in the opening of the Global Center for Combating Extremist Ideology in the Mecca for extremist ideology, Saudi Arabia. The kingdom`s major export after oil is radical Wahhabism, Saudi Arabia funds madrassas (religious schools that teach hatred toward Israel and the United States) in Afghanistan, Pakistan, and even in the United States.

Donald Trump, Egypt`s president Abdel al-Sisi, and Saudi Arabia`s Salman bin Abdulaziz Al Saud hovered over a glowing orb. When the men placed their hands on the mysterious orb, a runway lit up, revealing men (women may be allowed to polish the glowing orb but they aren`t allowed to work in the Center) and computers in cubicles.

The center will monitor extremist activity online, and the men in the cubicles will probably encourage radial Islamic propaganda online, while Saudi leaders publicly denounce ISIS.

You don`t need a glowing crystal ball to foretell that the Saudis will continue to finance international terrorism. Shame on Trump for participating in this farce.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Melania Trump Slaps at Donald Trump When He Tries to Hold Her Hand: Video

“Melania Trump appeared to want nothing to do with President Donald Trumps hand on Monday.

After FLOTUS and POTUS arrived at Ben Gurion International Airport in Lod, near Tel Aviv, Israel, for Day 3 of the administration`s first international trip, Trump reached one hand backwards toward his wife – but she quickly rebuffed the gesture with a flick of her wrist. At the time, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was holding hands with wife, Sara, beside the Trumps.”

Huffington Post

We recently learned that Hillary Clinton`s debate preparation included practicing how to avoid shaking hands with Donald Trump. Nobody, friend or foe, wants to touch Trump`s hands, God only knows what that pussy-grabbing freak`s hands have touched.
Even Melania Trump doesn`t want to be anywhere near her toxic husband, she`s been safely ensconced in Trump Tower the last four months — far away from the reach of his tiny hands.
When the Trumps arrived at Ben Gurion International Airport, knowing that millions were watching on TV, Melania Trump flicked away his hand when he attempted to hold her hand.
Only diehard Trump supporters can tolerate him, it`s time to impeach him.
Read More:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/watch-melania-trump-swat-donald-away-when-he-tries-to-hold-her-hand_us_5922f66ae4b034684b0e1ffa

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slo71FaJjfY

Clint Eastwood: We’re Really in a Pussy Generation

“We`re really in a pussy generation. Everybody`s walking on eggshells.”

Clint Eastwood

Eastwood the star of Spaghetti Western flicks of the 1960`s is a straight shooter, he tells it like it is, and he doesn`t give a damn if he triggers snow flakes.

Political-correctness is a cancer that`s metastasizing, affecting every part of our culture. Filmmakers are afraid to tackle certain subjects, comics are afraid to utter certain words, painters are afraid to paint certain subjects, and everyday folks parse every word they speak in a work setting.

Eastwood is spot on: We are in a pussy generation. Take the word “pussy” for example, women are free to wear pussy hats, and to shout: Pussy Power! But if a man says “you are such a pussy,” he`d better be speaking to his cat, and not to friend or colleague who is exhibiting pussy-like behavior.

Just about the only context in which the word “pussy” is objectionable is when a man distills the essence of a woman to her vagina, and refers to her as a pussy. Witness, Trump boasting that he has a special dispensation by virtue of his power and celebrity to grab women by their pussy.

If a dude acts in a typically female manner, but all means call him a pussy.

if a man or woman (pussy is a non-gender specific word) acts in a cowardly fashion, by all means call him or her a pussy.

If a supervisor asks a subordinate to perform a menial task, by all means exclaim: Got to hell! I`m not a pussy!

If you are engaging in romantic foreplay with your wife or girlfriend, by all means declare: You`re my favorite pussy!

It`s alarming to the state which we have fallen, truly we are a pussy generation. We should replace the ultimate phallic symbol, the Washington Monument, with a statue of a pussy cat.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Hillary Clinton Practiced Avoiding Donald Trump’s Hug

“Hillary Clinton`s presidential debate preparation included practicing – unsuccessfully – avoiding getting hugged by a grabby Donald Trump stand-in, a video posted Friday reveals.

The video shows Clinton on Sept. 24 walking out on a mock stage to greet a man playing the Republican nominee Trump for the prep session for the debate, which was being held two days later at Hofstra University on Long Island, New York.”

CNBC

Donald Trump compensates for his diminutive hands by turning every handshake into a power play, legion are the foreign leaders who have fallen victim to Trump`s death grip.

Hillary Clinton debate preparation included practicing avoiding Trump`s embrace and handshake. If only the Democratic Party had avoided fixing the election in favor of Hillary, Bernie Sanders would have crushed Trump in the general election.

Hillary was such an ineffectual candidate that Trump got the best of her in every way possible, including devising a winning strategy for the electoral college.

One day there will be a female presidential candidate who is equal, and even superior, to every male in the field, and who will go on to be elected President of the United States. But it won`t be Hillary.

Read More: http://www.cnbc.com/2017/05/19/watch-hillary-clinton-try-to-duck-a-hug-from-donald-trump.html

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xdaxNFkBlg

Donald Trump Should be Impeached Sooner Rather Than Later

The Trump administration is mired in scandal, the Republican legislative agenda is in paralysis, while the president`s surrogates try to manage the chaos by issuing statements that are contradicted by the Twitterer-in-chief in the same news cycle.

The Speaker of the House Paul Ryan, the Majority Leader of the Senate Mitch McConnell, and the rest of the GOP leaders are in a perpetual state of anguish over the pandemonium swirling around the White House, but Trump who thrives in turmoil calmly tweets in the Oval Office, creating even more trouble for his handlers and advisers.

Trump could very well survive four or even eight years of scandals and controversy without suffering a heart attack or a mental breakdown, but the Republican Party, our democracy and the American people can`t endure this madness for much longer.

Trump has been in office for only four months, but the evidence is already overwhelming that he is temperamentally unfit, and intellectually incapable of being president. Trump has relied on his intuition in his career as a businessman, he has basically “winged it,” and that has led to as many bankruptcies as great deals.

But you can`t “wing it” as commander-in-chief of the greatest military in the world, without risking Armageddon. Many Democrats are praying and hoping that next year they will regain control of Congress, and be in position to impeach Trump.

But we simply can`t wait that long, it`s incumbent upon Republicans to value our country over party and begin impeachment proceedings. The bombshell news that Trump asked then FBI Director James Comey to drop his investigation of former national security adviser Michael Flynn may finally motivate them to do the right thing.

The longer Trump remains in power the more irreparable harm he will inflict on the GOP and our country, it`s in the best interests of Republicans, Democrats and our democracy for Trump to be impeached sooner rather than later.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Deer Strolls into Walmart and Freaks Out Over Walmart Freaky Shoppers

“Walmart shoppers in Wadena got a real sense of the outdoors Tuesday night when a deer strolled into the store.

Stephanie Koljonen, of Wadena, witnessed the commotion.
`We were in the pet aisle when we heard what sounded like shelves falling, then a woman screaming,` she said.

“We rushed to help and that`s when we saw a deer was on the loose.`
Koljonen says a fellow shopper swooped in and corralled the deer, gently holding it and covering its eyes so it wouldn`t be spooked. That`s when Koljonen grabbed her camera. She snapped a photo and shared it on Facebook. Her post now has more than 1,000 shares. Authorities later responded and freed the deer.”

KARE 11

I rarely venture inside a Walmart, I value my sanity. The male Walmart shoppers look like Skid Row denizens, the females resemble contestants in a Trailer Park beauty contest, and the children look and act like Bebe`s kids.

It`s hardly surprising that the deer freaked out, I feel a sense of claustrophobia and paranoia when I`m surrounded by Walmart freaks.

Thank God for the quick-thinking Good Samaritan who held the deer, and most importantly covered its eyes so it wouldn`t see the rednecks and hood rats who populate Walmart.

Friends don`t let friends shop at Walmart!

Read More:
http://www.kare11.com/news/weird/deer-wrangled-in-wadena-walmart/440545149

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Die Millennials! For God’s Sake Just Die!

“Online retailer Opening Ceremony is getting into the bizarre upscale jeans trend with a pair of $425 convertible pants from Y/Project.

The `Detachable Cut-Out Front Jeans` by Y/Project are composed of a pair of high-waisted booty shorts with two pant legs that connect to the shorts via buttons.
Unlike other shorts/pants combos, these ones leave a gap between the bottom of the shorts and the tops of the pant legs.”

UPI

This trend in bizarre and expensive jeans is reason #1,0001 to hate millennials. There can be no peaceful coexistence between normal people and millennials, their sense of aesthetics and their philosophy of life is anathema.

The convertible jeans are the latest weird jeans to hit the market, how can we forget the $425 jeans pre-caked with mud or the $100 pair of completely transparent clear jeans.

Millennials with their college degrees are working at Starbucks and Wal-Mart, living in their parents` basement, and relying on Uber for transportation, but they can afford a $425 pair of Jeans? Something is rotten in Denmark.

Bootie shorts and jeans are two distinct animals, and never the twain should meet. If a woman has the hips and the legs for bootie shorts, by all means she should wear them, but nobody, not even a supermodel, should wear a pair of high-waisted bootie shorts. That`s just wrong!

I am eagerly waiting for the Zombie Apocalypse, I just hope and pray that they will wipe out millennials from the face of the Earth.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Dude Sues Date for Texting During ‘Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2’

“A Texas man is suing a woman for the $17.31 he spent on a date where he claims she texted throughout the movie they attended together.

Brandon Vezmar of Austin alleges in his lawsuit that he met the woman on dating app Bumble and they went on a first date to eat pizza and watch Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 at a movie theater.

The lawsuit alleges the woman opened her phone to read and send text messages 10 to 20 times during the film.

Court papers filed by Vezmar state texting is in direct violation of the theater`s policy, [adversely] affecting the viewing experience of plaintiff and others.”

UPI

Although this Texas man might be slightly anal-retentive, texting is against the policy of most theaters, disrespectful to the audience and to your date. He should have simply deleted her phone number, and never seen her again.

Allow me to come to the defense of the woman, “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2” is a very entertaining movie and she was probably texting her friends: I`m watching Guardians with a total loser, but you`ve got to see this movie! OMG! Baby Groot is adorable! I wish I were on a date with him!

With all due respect to the dude, if you spend less than $20 on a date, you shouldn`t expect her undivided attention.

The jackass said he decided to file the lawsuit after the woman declined to reimburse him for the $17.31 he spent on the movie tickets. Are you kidding me, he should be grateful that she didn`t go full Baby Groot tantrum on him.

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/05/17/Texas-man-suing-date-for-texting-during-movie/1391495029238/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=13

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

/

Donald Trump Impeachment Talk 24/7

When discussing Donald Trump and the Russia investigation the “I” word is now in play. I`m not talking about the word “idiot,” even most Republicans would agree that the way Trump has handled the presidency in general, and the Russia controversy in specific is idiotic.

I`m talking about the word “Impeachment,” it`s not just Democratic nutjobs like Rep. Maxine Waters who are calling for Trump`s impeachment, even level-headed Republicans are bandying about the weighty word.

Impeachment is now in the national zeitgeist, there`s a Web site with almost a million signed onto a petition imploring the Senate to impeach Trump. There`s an “Impeach Trump” Twitter account and late night comics make jokes about Trump being impeached almost every night.

Donald Trump isn`t going to be impeached as long as Republicans control both chambers of Congress, but the impeachment talk is an albatross around Trump`s neck that ensures that his agenda is dead in the water.

Impeachment talk has now hit a fever pitch with the revelation James Comey penned a memo after a Valentine`s Day meeting with Trump in which Comey associates say the president asked him to end the investigation into former national security adviser and noted Russophile Michael Flynn.

Can you say “obstruction of justice”? Can you say “Watergate all over again”? Cay you say “failed presidency”?

I`m praying that Democrats will take control of the Senate in the mid-term elections and impeach the bastard.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Should Donald Trump Be Impeached or Executed?

Edward J. Snowden, a former National Security Agency contractor, is a hero who leaked troves of top-secret NSA documents on vast surveillance programs. Pre-Snowden most of us were under the impression that only terrorists, spies and criminals were under the systemic surveillance of Big Brother. It turns out that the feds are interested in the emails, blogs, and telephone conversation of everybody, including your fat mother.

In my humble opinion Snowden should be awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, but Donald Trump isn`t likely to award him any medals. In the summer of 2013, Trump tweeted that Snowden was a traitor who gave serious information to China and Russia and should be executed.

Trump`s primary responsibility is to protect American citizens, and he betrayed that trust by providing the Russians with highly classified information that was given to us by Israel with the understanding that it shouldn`t be shared with Russia or any other entity. Trump betrayed his presidential duty, Israel and America, and if I was as intemperate as he is, I would be calling for his execution.

It`s illegal and unethical to call for the execution of the President of the United States, although God knows we would be better off if he was dead. I `m not calling for Trump to be executed, but can we at least agree that he needs to be impeached?

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Does Donald Trump Really Want to be President? Will He Resign?

It`s axiomatic that Donald Trump is the least qualified president ever to sit in the Oval Office, he has the attention span of a colicky toddler, the vocabulary of a 5th grader, the diplomatic skills of a bouncer, the charisma of prosperity gospel televangelist, and the intellectual curiosity of a wilted head of cabbage.

Most Democrats and an increasing number of Republicans are fervently hoping and praying that he will either resign or be impeached before the end of his term.

Regardless how egregiously Trump tramples all over the Constitution, as long as the Republicans control both chambers of Congress he won`t be impeached.

But there`s always the possibility that the unpredictable Trump will simply quit, and devote the rest of his life to what he loves best: Golfing, grabbing pussy, and engaging in Twitter wars with the likes of Rosie O`Donnell.

Trump`s weird behavior certainly lends credence to the theory that he doesn`t want to be president. First Trump unceremoniously fires FBI Director James Comey, and then to add insult to injury he threatens him, implying that he may have secretly recorded their conversations.

In the midst of the Comey controversy he bans America news media from his Oval Office conversation with Russia`s foreign minister while allowing a TASS photographer to record the event.

Then to put the cherry on top of the cake, he invites Henry Kissinger to the Oval Office, not seeming to care a whit that this conjures up memories of Watergate.

How long can the administration last of a president who rules by executive orders, communicates with his enemies and the American public via incoherent Tweets, and insults judges, the press and political leaders of both major parties?

It may be wishful thinking on my part, but I think there`s a chance Trump may resign before his term expires. Especially if a liberal Supreme Court Justice dies or resigns, andTrump successfully replaces him or her with a conservative, he may decide to leave office on a high note.

We can dream …

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Evangelical Supporters of Donald Trump Would Deny Jesus Before They Would Forsake Trump

“Republican strategist and CNN commentator Ana Navarro slammed GOP leaders for acting like members `of the Donald Trump cult,` saying they must `step up and condemn` President Trump when circumstances demand it.

Navarro criticized House Speaker Paul Ryan for refusing to comment this week on the President`s tweet suggesting he had tapes of conversations with fired FBI Director James Comey — a statement many interpreted as a threat.

When asked about the tweet on Friday, Ryan told reporters that he was `focusing on what`s in my control, and that is what is Congress doing to solve people`s problems.`”

CNN

Kim Jong-un, the Dear Leader of North Korea, and Donald Trump the Leader of the Free World have a lot in common.

North Koreans are brainwashed since birth to believe that Kim Jong-un is a God-like, and if they fail to bestow upon him proper reverence they are killed or thrown into a concentration camp.

Trump supporters have brainwashed themselves into believing that the corrupt, vulgar, petty, and narcissistic Trump has been chosen by God to make America great again. If anyone speaks out against Trump`s inept and tyrannical rule, his supporters brand these patriots as ungodly traitors.

People who voted for Trump have made Trumpism into a religion, and they will defend their Messiah come hell or high water. I don`t know what would be more difficult, convincing an evangelical who voted for Trump to deny Jesus or to forsake Trump.

Republican senators and congressmen and congresswomen aren`t deluded by Trump, they know full well that he is ignorant, egotistical and dangerous. Ana Navarro is spot on, they should stop acting like they are members of the Donald Trump cult, and condemn his unconstitutional and un-American actions.

When Trump fired FBI Director James Comey, by his own admission because of the FBI`s Russia investigation, and then threatened him, they should have spoken out forcefully against the leader of their party.

It is incumbent upon Republican leaders to demonstrate to the American public that they are Americans before they are Republicans.

It`s a Watergate-style scandal and Republican leaders need to decide, right now, if they will be on the right side of history.

Read More:

http://www.cnn.com/2017/05/13/politics/navarro-donald-trump-cult-cnntv/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Donald Trump Tweets “We” and Twitter Goes Nuts

“Something amazing happened on Twitter on Saturday. The President of the United States, arguably one of the most controversial people on the platform, tweeted one word with two letters and so much power.

Donald Trump, or a White House staffer representing Trump, typed `We,` then hit the tweet button, sending the word to the president`s 29 million followers.”

Huffington Post

Trump deleted his “we” tweet a couple of minutes after posting it.

It`s obvious that Trump was starting to type a sentence when he hit the “send” button by mistake, it`s perplexing that a man with such dainty and tiny hands would hit the wrong button.

Trump wasn`t starting a declarative sentence using the royal we such as: We are going to fire Sean Spicer. Trump never employs the royal we, he likes to take sole credit for his actions, and he doesn`t want to give the impression that he is speaking on behalf of his staff.

Trump wasn`t making a minimalist philosophical statement. We, as in we are in this existential nightmare together, and we must find meaning in life as a team.

I`m not going to waste another second wondering what Trump intended to write, Shakespeare he`s not.

The moron was going to type some sort of malarkey, and dissertations won`t be written contemplating what he meant to write.

Read More:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-tweets-we_us_5917b8cee4b00f308cf5ba4f

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

A Lynchburg Resident’s Take on Donald Trump’s Commencement Address at Liberty University

President Donald Trump delivered the commencement address at Liberty University which is located about three miles from my home. I wouldn`t drive three yards to hear Trump speak, but I did watch the spectacle on TV.

Before his big speech Trump was presented with an honorary degree from Liberty University, which carries as much weight as a degree from Trump University.

The president opened his first commencement speech at the evangelical university on Saturday by talking about the size of penis.

Just kidding, Trump managed to refrain from making any vulgar comments lest he offend the sensibilities of the conservative Christian school. Funny how evangelicals aren`t offended by Trump`s health plan that renders health care unaffordable for the elderly and the poor, and his economic policies that punish the poor and give tax breaks to the filthy rich, but they pitch a fit when comedians use obscenities to describe Trump. But I digress …

Trump did start his speech by bragging about the size of the crowd:

“I`m thrilled to be back at Liberty University. I`ve been here, this is now my third time, and we love setting records, right? We always set records. We have to set records, we have no choice.”

He again referred to the size of the crowd later in his speech, saying: “This is a beautiful stadium, and it`s packed. I`m so happy about that.”

Trump`s speech was unremarkable: Some platitudes, a few Trumpisms, and a compliment or two for Liberty University President Jerry Falwell Jr. as a reward for his early endorsement.

I could have delivered a speech of equal style and substance – when I was in elementary school. Damn Falwell for shaming Lynchburg, and damn Trump for shaming our country.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes