Month: April 2017

The Morrissey Cult in the Chicano Community is a Beautiful and Spiritual Thing

I am an unabashed anglophile; I love all things British (maybe not the food), the slang, the history, and especially the music.

I was born in 1957, and when the British Invasion hit the states in the mid-60`s I was grooving to The Beatles, The Kinks, The Rolling Stones, and the The Animals on my transistor radio. In the mid-70`s I was banging to the primal beat of English New Wave/Punk acts like The Sex Pistols and The Clash. To this day I am enamored of English artists like Amy Winehouse and Adele.

I fell in love with The Smiths and their front man, Morrissey, from the first them I heard them in the early 80`s. I have followed Morrissey`s career religiously since he launched his solo career in 1987. I have an eclectic taste in music, and I have hundreds of CD`s from every genre from classical to country, R & B to Rock, and old school hip hop to alternative, but my favorite albums are, you guessed it, by Morrissey.

Why do I love the music of Morrissey so much? Listening to music is such a spiritual experience that it`s hard to put it into words. As a writer I admire him as one of the greatest lyricists in British history – his emotional songs touch my heart.

I am not so thrilled with Morrissey the man, there is too much of the poseur in his persona of an asexual social outsider with an effete aesthetic. But when I`m listening to his music it`s his words and his powerful voice that touches me, not his personality.

As you have divined from my byline I`m Hispanic of Mexican and Venezuelan descent, but I don`t listen to any genre of Latin music. Reggaeton, Salsa, Merengue and Mexican Ranchera music leaves me cold, making me feel somewhat estranged from my own community.

I was delighted when I discovered a couple of years ago that Morrissey has a fanatical following in the Chicano community. In Los Angeles many Hispanic bars have Morrissey Karaoke night on a regular basis, and there are a handful of successful Morrissey tribute acts. In East Los Angeles Morrissey is as much of the social fabric as Taco Trucks, the Virgin Mary and the Catholic Church.

There are many theories as to why Morrissey has such a hold on the Chicano community, and I`m not going to delve into them. It` difficult to articulate why an artist resonates with a specific community, suffice to say the relationship between Morrissey and the Chicano community is a beautiful and spiritual matter.

The fact that Mexican-Americans are enthralled with Morrissey makes me feel an affinity for my own people.

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Donald Trump Has a Big Red Button in the Oval Office That He Uses To …

“President Trump has a button on his desk in the Oval Office that summons a butler to bring him a Coke.

In two recent interviews, Trump showed off the button.

`Sitting across from Donald Trump in the Oval Office, my eyes are drawn to a little red button on a box that sits on his desk,` The Financial Times` Demetri Sevastopulo writes. Sevastopulo jokingly asked Trump if this was the nuclear button.

`No no, everyone thinks it is,` Sevastopulo says Trump responds, and then uses the button to order a Diet Coke.”

Time

If I was interviewing the commander-in-chief in the Oval Office, and he pushed a big red button, without explaining what it was for, I would wet my drawers, fearing that he just started World War III.

It wasn`t the Staples Easy Button, although Trump needs it more than anybody else. Trump doesn`t know jack about foreign policy, domestic issues or anything else for that matter, and he needs the Easy button to summon a pack of policy wonks to explain to him how to respond to pressing issues of the day.

The button isn`t for ordering coke as in cocaine; fortunately Trump doesn`t drink or do drugs. Can you imagine Trump tweaking on cocaine?

When Trump hits the button it summons a butler with a glass of Diet Coke.

Can you imagine if Hillary had won, she would have installed a red button that would have summoned a doctor with medication for any of her myriad life-threatening illnesses.

Trump is a disaster, but I`m glad it`s him in the Oval Office enjoying a Diet Coke and not Hillary drinking whiskey, with her feet up on the presidential desk, scheming how she can enact her feminist agenda, find an excuse to dump Bill and marry Huma, and rob Americans of our freedom and liberty.

Read More:

http://time.com/4758059/donald-trump-coke-nuclear-button/

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Woman Arrested For Xylophone Rage Attack

“According to investigators, Floridian April Encarnacion, 43, was collared earlier this month on a domestic battery charge after police responded to a residence in Fort Walton Beach.

Encarnacion, cops say, was in the kitchen with the male victim, who was playing a xylophone around 9:20 PM. Encarnacion–apparently not enjoying the Friday evening musical performance– asked him to stop, according to a court filing.

When the man refused, Encarnacion dumped a pot of cold cooking grease on him.”

Smoking Gun

When I was a kid I used to drive my parents and sibling nuts banging on my Fisher Price xylophone; I can understand a person going Medieval on an adult playing a xylophone.

Although Encarnacion should be commended for her restraint, I would have boiled the pot of cooking grease before dumping it on the moron playing the musical instrument.

The only one arrested should have been the male victim, any dude who calls in the cops because a woman dumped cold cooking grease on him should turn in his “male card.”

The male “victim,” who wasn`t identified, is going to be greased and abused if he ever ends up in the Big House. What a freaking wimp!

Read More:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/florida/xylophone-rage-case-493216

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Outrage: Centenarian Awarded Gold Medal for Running 100-Meter Sprint in 1 Minute 40 Seconds

“Man Kaur, a 101-year-old Indian woman, racked up her 17th gold medal this week at the World Masters Games in Auckland, New Zealand, completing the 100 metre sprint in one minute 14 seconds.
Truth be told, she was the sole competitor in the race, with no other runners coming forward to take part in the 100-years-and-over category.”

Telegraph

Man Kaur is making a mockery of athletic competition, when you complete a 100-meter sprint in one minute and 14 seconds that`s not a sprint, it`s a leisurely stroll. The only sprint that Kaur should be participating in is a sprint to the bathroom before she soils her diapers.

The centenarian was the sole competitor in the race, her gold medal is nothing more than a glorified participation trophy.

There should be no official athletic competitions for octogenarians, never mind centenarians.

Her supporters (enablers) should be ashamed of themselves, it`s a wonder the old lady didn`t suffer a heart attack.

Enough with this politically-correct tomfoolery in pretending that folks who are older than dirt can still participate in athletic events.

Read More:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/2017/04/25/101-year-old-woman-wins-100-metre-sprint/

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Starbucks’ Unicorn Frappuccino Sign of the End Times

“Starbucks` wildly popular Unicorn Frappuccino may have come and gone, but it lives on atop the head of one Canadian stylist`s satisfied customer.
Kelly Woodford, owner of the Sapphire Hair Lounge in Winnipeg, Canada, shared a short video on Instagram comparing the colors of a Unicorn Frappuccino to the colors she used to dye a customer`s hair.”

UPI

I am contemplating running for mayor of my city for the sole purpose of banning any Starbucks within city limits. Starbucks are a magnet for millennials, slackers and assorted riff-raff, it boggles the mind that they haven`t been targeted by jihadists or spree killers.

I love coffee, and I get my daily fix at a Waffle House, and it`s served by a waitress, not a freaking barista. Any millennial who works as a barista should be drowned in a vat of Unicorn Frappuccino.

The day that Starbucks started offering Unicorn Frappuccino in its dens of iniquity, is the day that I said to myself: The Apocalypse is right around the corner! Now that a hair stylist has used the Unicorn Frappuccino colors to style a customer`s hair, I`m researching bunkers online.

Pic of moron rocking Unicorn Frappuccino hairdo:

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/04/25/Stylist-shows-off-hair-inspired-by-Unicorn-Frappuccino/4801493130386/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=16

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Tom Perez Cryptkeeper From Hell an Embarrassment to Democratic Party

When you are a dead ringer for the crypt keeper from “Tales From the Crypt” it behooves you to keep a low profile and speak it measured tones. But Democratic National Committee (DNC) Chairman Tom Perez speaking style is reminiscent of a mental patient who`s not on his meds, even Donald Trump blushes when he hears him rant and rave and toss obscenities like confetti.

Perez, who has been traveling the country on a unity tour meant to unite the Democratic Party after a devastating and humiliating defeat, seems to think that the only way he can unite his demoralized party is by peppering his speeches with profanities. If the Democrats are wise they will unite against this unhinged creepy looking son of a bitch and demand that he step down from his lofty position.

Tom Perez is an embarrassment to the human race, the Hispanic community, the Democratic Party and horror flick villains. If Perez doesn`t curb his tongue, I pray that he will meet the same fate as a horror movie villain.

Even when he doesn`t curse Perez is an abomination, he became the first head of the party to promise to support only Democratic candidate who support abortion.

Fortunately, some Democratic leaders have chastised him for his narrow view, arguing that the Democratic Party is a Big Tent party that can accommodate differing views on abortion.

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Why Do Cats Love Boxes?

“Boxes and cats, what is the deal?

So what powers your kitty`s drive to sit in all things square and cardboard? There`s more scientific reason behind it than you might suspect.
According to The Washington Post, it all goes back to childhood. Kittens seek out the warmth and comfort of their mom`s snuggling embrace and the cuddles provided by their fellow litter mates. This is one of the reasons why swaddling calms a cat down. In these cases, the close contact releases endorphins, giving felines a natural sense of peace and pleasure.”

People Magazine

People Magazine usually chronicles the scandals and antics of brain-dead celebs, thank goodness they are finally covering a worthwhile subject: Cats!

I have owned cats for most of my adult life, when I adopted my first kitty I bought her beds and cat condos, but I quickly learned that she would eschew these expensive items in favor of a box, any box no matter how small.

My cat Tico tips the scale at 25 pounds, and whenever I buy a new pair of shoes he immediately claims the box as his new bed, even though he can barely fit his fat butt in the small box.

So what`s up with cats and their inordinate love of boxes? According to Temple Grandin, Professor of Animal Science, when cats are cozied up within the confines of a box it reminds them when they were kittens and shared close quarters with their mother and litter mates.

My cats never fight over food, but they will fight over a box, that`s why I always make sure to have a couple of boxes in my house. There are some adorable box dwellers waiting to b e adopted at your local animal shelter.

Read More:

http://people.com/pets/heres-why-your-cat-loves-sitting-in-boxes/

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Donald Trump’s Base Remains Loyal

“President Donald Trump is running into political trouble on a variety of fronts, but the overwhelming majority of his core supporters remain loyal to him and give him high approval ratings.
The latest poll conducted by ABC News and the Washington Post finds that, as he approaches his 100th day in office Saturday – a traditional milestone for assessing new presidents – 96 percent of those who supported him in last November`s election say they would do it again today. His approval rating among those who voted for him is 94 percent. This is a positive development for Trump just when he needs it most. It could embolden him to confront his adversaries in Congress on a variety of fronts as a possible government shutdown looms at the end of this week.”
US News & World Report

By any objective standard the Donald Trump administration has been an unmitigated disaster. Trump failed miserably in his signature campaign promise to repeal and replace Obamacare, there is no more talk of Mexico paying for the wall, and not a single major piece of legislation has been implemented. Keep in mind that Republicans control the executive branch and both houses of Congress, if Trump had a modicum of political skill he`d be signing bills left and right in the Oval Office.

You`d think that Trump`s ineptitude and outright failure would have humbled him a little bit, and that he`d be spending time in quiet retrospection, but he`s still ranting and raving on Twitter.

At least you`d think that Trump would redouble his efforts to get some victories under his belt during his first 100 days in office, but he`s spending almost every weekend golfing in his resorts.

A flurry of executive orders is no substitute for seeking bipartisan consensus and getting his policies enacted through the legislative process.

The American public isn`t fooled, as the polls show, we realize that Trump is one of the worst presidents in history. However the overwhelming majority of his supporters remain loyal to him.

During the campaign Trump famously boasted that he could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and he wouldn`t lose voters. Trump could shoot Nancy Pelosi in the Rose Garden and take a dump on her, and he wouldn`t lose any of his supporters.

Trump doesn`t learn from his mistakes, in fact he doesn`t even acknowledge his mistakes, it`s inevitable that he will continue to make huge blunders. Let`s hope that enough Republicans, who care more about our country than their party, will join Democrats in impeaching him.

The first 100 days of the Trump administration seem like an eternity, our democracy simply can`t survive four years of epic tomfoolery, ineptitude, corruption and buffoonery.

Read More:

https://www.usnews.com/news/ken-walshs-washington/articles/2017-04-24/president-donald-trumps-base-remains-loyal

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Pretentious Professor Sues Wal-Mart!

“A professor at Montana State University is suing Wal-Mart for what they wrote on his fishing license.

An employee allegedly wrote Gilbert Kalonde’s profession as ‘toilet cleaner’ on the license. Kalonde is an assistant professor of technology education at MSU.

According to the complaint, provided by the Bozeman Daily Chronicle, Kalonde showed his MSU ID for the license to show that he worked in the university. The Wal-Mart employee then wrote ‘cleans toilets’ on the license.

Kalonde is suing for libel, saying what happened exposed him to ‘hatred, contempt, ridicule or obloquy.’ The suit said, ‘In [Kalonde’s] home country of Zambia, the people that do this work are the lowest social class, and are shunned and avoided by society.'”

AOL

Not to put too fine a point on it but the professor is an oxygen thief, anybody who uses an obscure word like “obloquy” is by definition a pretentious piece of crap.

In Zambia people who clean toilets may be shunned and avoided by society, but in America janitors probably make more than assistant professors.

In America decent people will shun the professor, not because they think he’s a toilet cleaner — we just tend to shun self-important pricks who use a ten-dollar word when a simple word will suffice.

Kalonde’s trivial and ridiculous lawsuit is exposing his employer and him to ridicule. Hey moron, are you going to sue me next?

Donald Trump’s Terrific ‘Earth Day’ Statement

“Rigorous science is critical to my administration`s efforts to achieve the twin goals of economic growth and environmental protection.

My administration is committed to advancing scientific research that leads to a better understanding of our environment and of environmental risks. As we do so, we should remember that rigorous science depends not on ideology, but on a spirit of honest inquiry and robust debate.

This April 22nd, as we observe Earth Day, I hope that our nation can come together to give thanks for the land we all love and call home.”

Donald Trump`s exemplary Earth Day statement

Economic growth and environmental protection must always go hand in hand; we can`t allow climate change cultists to grind our nation`s powerful economic engine to a screeching halt.

The Trump administration is committed to advancing scientific research that leads to cleaner air and fresher water, but to their credit they haven`t swallowed the climate change hoax.

Rigorous science depends not on ideology or political-correctness, but on empirical evidence.

An intelligent rational individual can be environmentally-minded and be against the religion of global warming.

I applaud Trump for his terrific Earth Day comments, but he should keep true to his campaign promise and withdraw the United States from the 2015 Paris Climate Accord.

Happy Earth Day President Trump, you are wrong most of the time, but I applaud you when you are right, and boy are you right about climate change.

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APRIL 2017 ARCHIVES PAGE TWO:

https://robertpaulreyes.com/april-archives-page-2-of-robert-paul-reyes-articles/

Dozens of Shrinks Claim Donald Trump Has Dangerous Mental Illness

“Amid backlash, a group of psychiatrists claimed on Thursday at a conference at Yale University that President Donald Trump has a `dangerous mental illness` and is not fit to be president of the United States.

According to The Independent, over thirty mental health experts, all of whom have never personally examined President Trump, say they have an `ethical responsibility to warn the public about Donald Trump`s dangerous mental illness.`”

AOL

According to the American Psychiatric Association no mental health professional should attempt to diagnose or give professional opinions on a person without having examined them. But these shrinks shouldn`t be criticized, their ethical duty to warn the public about Trump`s madness supersedes any bylaws of the American Psychiatric Association.

I`m not a psychiatrist or a psychologist, and I don`t play one on TV or in my bedroom, but my clinical diagnosis is that Donald Trump is stark raving bonkers. All any rational person has to do is watch the Orange Menace on TV for a couple of minutes, and they will arrive at the same conclusion.

My essays will have zero impression on mental health professionals, but they will influence my friends in the real world and online. We must all do our due diligence, and warn everyone that Trump is freaking nuts.

We elected Trump Leader of the Free World, so it`s incumbent upon us to make restitution by sounding the alarm. We must demonstrate to the world that although our leader may be nuts, we aren`t.

There`s an online petition calling for mental health professionals to “declare Trump is mentally ill and must be removed.” The change.org petition currently has over 8,000 signatures.

People get with the damn program: Sign the Petition! Write your congressperson and senator demanding that they impeach the lunatic!

Read More:
https://www.aol.com/article/news/2017/04/21/dozens-of-psychiatry-experts-claim-trump-has-dangerous-mental-i/22049682/

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Bruce Jenner (Caitlyn Jenner) Distancing Himself From Donald Trump

“Caitlyn Jenner voted for President Donald Trump, but the former Olympian and reality TV star says she`s dedicated to her community and not to the current POTUS.

`Here`s the deal: yes, I have always had views that lean more towards the Republican party when it comes to politics (as in) less government, believing in the Constitution and all that kind of stuff,` Jenner told People magazine. `But my loyalties and my fights are not going to be with the Republican party. My loyalties are with my community and fighting for my community.`

`My loyalties lie with my community and not with the Republican party, and not with Donald Trump,` the self-described conservative added.”

Huffington Post

I will refer to the freak known as “Caitlyn Jenner” by his real name: Bruce Jenner. Jenner is a publicity whore who will do anything for attention, transitioning from male to female was just a way of eclipsing Kim Kardashian, Kris Jenner, Kanye West and all the other deplorable freaks in his family.

In “Keeping up with the Kardashians” Kris treated Bruce like crap, she totally emasculated him. How ironic that Bruce felt that the only way he could reclaim his manhood was by becoming a woman. Bruce, you`re still a bitch.

I will not enable Jenner`s psychiatric condition, that`s what gender dysphoria is, by using female pronouns.

Bruce claims that his loyalties are with his community, but the freak has nothing in common with transsexuals. Bruce`s only loyalties are to himself and his bank accounts.

It`s a good thing Bruce is distancing himself from Trump, because if the reality show freak (Bruce, not Trump) ever visits the White House, Trump will grab him by the pussy, dick, whatever.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/caitlyn-jenner-donald-trump-republicans_us_58fa08e2e4b00fa7de137cd8

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If You Love America You Will Celebrate 4/20 Every Day

“A photo of a Minnesota police department`s undercover 4/20 operations went viral after being shared on social media Thursday.

Wyoming, Minn. Police shared a tongue in cheek photo of an officer holding a net while hiding behind a series of snacks and other items meant to entice marijuana smokers on the day that celebrates pot culture.

The trap in the photo featured bags of Doritos and Cheetos alongside a can of Mountain Dew, a White Castle bag and a pair of Xbox video games.”

UPI

4/20 is America`s unofficial holiday when workplace productivity grinds to a halt, everyone grooves to Snoop Dogg and Cypress Hill, and supermarket shelves are empty of Doritos and Cheetos. If weed was legal it would be morning in America every day, and Democrats and Republicans would be too busy hitting the bong to worry about Trump destroying our country.

Police officers holding a net while hiding behind snacks meant to entice smokers is humorous, but what`s not funny is the ineffectual War on Drugs that`s wasted billions and deepened the racial divide.

What a lovely world it would be if instead of arresting a disproportionate number of minorities on drug charges, cops would spread love and peace by holding pot parties in the inner city.

Fight terrorism and protect the American way of life by celebrating 4/20 every damn day of the year.

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Photo Credit: Wikipedia

 

Sarah Palin, Kid Rock and Ted Nugent Meet With Donald Trump in White House

“Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin and hard-rocking Michigan musicians Ted Nugent and Kid Rock met with President Trump at the White House Wednesday evening, and the photos have created the perfect internet firestorm.

`A great night at the White House! Thank you to President Trump for the invite!` Palin wrote on Facebook and Twitter. The trio of vocal Trump supporters appeared in one photo to be reviewing documents in the president`s hands and in another mockingly posed with a portrait of former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.”

Time

Former beauty queen Sarah Palin, and ageing rockers Ted Nugent and Kid Rock are very polarizing and controversial celebrities. They are probably the only celebs in the world who don`t mind being photographed in the White House with Donald Trump.

It was a nice touch for them to mockingly pose with a portrait of former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, she must be ridiculed mercilessly until she finally gives up hope of running for president again.

Imagine if Hillary had won, she would have invited equally obnoxious celebrities like Ashley Judd and Meryl Streep and a vomit-inducing politician like Nancy Pelosi or Maxine Waters. And as soon as the photo-op was over Slick Willy would be hitting on Ashely Judd and Meryl Streep, and if those two ladies turned him down, he would be looking to get freaky with Maxine and her James Brown wig.

As bad as things are under a Trump administration, things would have been exponentially worse with Hillary sitting in the Oval Office. Thank heaven for small mercies …

Read More:

http://time.com/4748290/sarah-palin-kid-rock-ted-nugent-donald-trump-photo/

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A Trump Property Will Be Bombed By Terrorists, That’s Reality!

“MSNBC terrorism analyst Malcolm Nance has deleted a tweet that appeared to call for a terrorist attack against Trump Towers in Istanbul.
`This is my nominee for the first ISIS suicide bombing of a Trump property,` the former intelligence officer tweeted Tuesday afternoon, according to a screenshot circulated online and highlighted by the Washington Free Beacon.

Mr. Nance was responding to a tweet by writer Dustin Giebel, claiming that Mr. Trump`s congratulatory call to Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan for winning Sunday`s referendum was motivated by reasons tied to the property.

Mr. Nance has since deleted the tweet but has yet to apologize.”

Washington Times

You don`t have to be an intelligence officer, a psychic or a political pundit to discern that it`s inevitable that a Trump-branded property will be targeted by terrorists. There are hotels, office buildings and casinos that bear Trump`s name all over the world, and I predict that before the year is over a Trump building will be destroyed by terrorists.

Trump`s congratulatory call to Erdogan after the referendum passed that gave him dictatorial powers was an affront to our democratic principles, but that`s no excuse for nominating the Trump Towers in Istanbul as the first ISIS suicide bombing of a Trump property.

I urge everyone who believes that Trump is profiting financially from the presidency not to stay at a Trump hotel, but for God`s sake don`t encourage terrorists to blow up his buildings. I encourage everyone who believes that Trump`s gaudy buildings are an aesthetic nightmare to adorn them with graffiti, but don`t encourage jihadists to blow them up. I plead with everyone who believes that it`s an outrage that taxpayers are paying millions to protect Trump Tower in New York City, and Mar-a-Lago in Florida to picket outside these buildings, but don`t encourage ISIS to bomb them.

I`m not going to feel guilty when a Trump building gets blown to smithereens, I`m only predicting the inevitable and not enticing terrorists to do what comes naturally to them.

Read More:

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2017/apr/19/malcolm-nance-msnbc-terrorism-analyst-nominates-tr/

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George Takei: Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un Two Sides of Same Coin

“Liberal actor and activist George Takei believes that President Donald Trump and North Korean Dictator Kim Jong-un are two sides of the same coin.
`Understand that the rest of the world puts both Kim Jong-un and Donald J. Trump into the same unbalanced, nuclear-armed state leader basket,` Takei wrote Friday.”

Western Journalism

Physically and temperamentally American President Donald Trump and North Korean Dictator Kim Jong-un are very similar.

Physically Jong-un and Trump both have distinctive hairstyles, and they both weigh as much as a baby hippo.

They share the same personality traits: Arrogance, a short-temper, and a penchant for exaggeration. They both compensate for their physical shortcomings by engaging in saber rattling.

Granted Trump doesn`t shoot his political enemies with an anti-aircraft gun or send them to prison, but that`s only because Trump is constrained by our democratic system.

If America was a dictatorship instead of a republic Trump would cut off the hands of comics who mocked his tiny hands, and he would jail his political opponents.

Takei is spot on, the international community puts the Orange Menace and Lil` Kim in the same deplorable basket.

Who knows which egomaniac will trigger World War III, Trump or Jong-un.

Read More:
http://www.westernjournalism.com/george-takei-compares-donald-trump-kim-jong-un/

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Man Dies Peacefully After Being Told Donald Trump Had Been Impeached

“An Oregon man died peacefully after being told – falsely – that President Donald Trump had been impeached, according to his obituary.

Michael Garland Elliott, 75, died April 6 after suffering from declining health. His ex-wife, Teresa Elliott, who is described in the obituary as his best friend and only surviving relative, was the last voice he heard before he passed away, according to the obituary published in the Oregonian.

She told him the president had been impeached from office.
`And the last thing she said to him was `Donald Trump has been impeached,` the obituary reads. `Upon hearing that he took his final, gentle breath, his earthly work concluded.`”

Time

Elliot`s wife may not have been speaking truthfully, but she was speaking prophetically. You don`t have to be a psychologist or a political science major to discern that Trump`s ignorance, ineptitude, arrogance and corruption will inevitably lead to his impeachment.

I have written dozens of articles denouncing fake news, but this is one instance where it`s morally and ethically correct to ease a loved one`s passage into the great beyond with the comforting faux news that Trump has been impeached.

I`m too much of a cynic, I wouldn`t believe it if a loved one told me that Trump had been impeached to soothe my soul as I lay on my death bed. I would demand that she would bring me Trump`s shrived up little pecker or the New York Times obituary as proof.

Let`s hope and pray that in two years the Democrats will gain control of both houses of Congress, and that they will indeed impeach the Orange Menace. Trump`s impeachment would invigorate me, and add a good ten years to my life.

Read More:

http://time.com/4743618/obituary-donald-trump-impeachment-michael-gardland-elliott/

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Melania Trump Nudges Donald Trump to Remind Him to Put His Tiny Hand Over His Shriveled Heart

“President Donald Trump and First Lady Melania Trump welcomed an estimated 21,000 guests for the 139th Easter Egg Roll at the White House Monday. But, while addressing the crowd from the Truman Balcony, Melania subtly nudged Donald, reminding him to put his hand over his heart for the National Anthem-a small moment that turned into a bigger discussion on social media. The couple`s son Barron Trump, however, did not require any prompting from his mom.

(The U.S. Flag Code calls for anyone addressing the flag, either during the Pledge of Allegiance or the national anthem, to put their right hands over their hearts.)”

EOnline.com

Melania was born in Slovenia, and she didn`t move to New York City until 1996, but even this lovely immigrant knows that when the National Anthem is played, a red-blooded American puts his hand over his heart.

Barron, Donald`s 11-year-old son, didn`t need any prompting from his mother to do his patriotic duty, hopefully unlike his dad he will grow up to be a scholar, gentleman and a patriot.

Even the Easter Bunny had his hand over his heart, only the “America First” president required a nudge from his better part to remind him of his civic duty.

At least we were spared the spectacle of the Easter Bunny humping Trump to remind him to put his demonic little hand over his tiny heart.

Read More:
http://www.eonline.com/news/843926/melania-trump-nudges-donald-trump-to-raise-his-hand-for-the-national-anthem

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Functionally Illiterate Donald Trump Endorses Book With No Words

“President Donald Trump, a man of many words, tweeted his admiration Monday for a book with almost none.
In the middle of a Monday morning Tweetstorm, the President gave an endorsement to a 266 page tome called Reasons To Vote For Democrats: A Comprehensive Guide.
But most of those 266 pages, it turns out, are entirely blank.
Remarkably, even though the one-note gag is revealed in the sample pages included by Amazon and other retailers, the book still checks in at No. 4 on Amazon`s Political Humor bestseller list.”
Mediaite

Donald Trump has acknowledged that he hasn`t read any biographies of presidents, in fact he doesn`t have the focus and discipline to read anything lengthier than a 140-character tweet.

The only book I can image Trump endorsing would be a graphic novel, erotic literature or a book with no words, and that`s exactly what he did: Endorse a gag book with no words.

Trump doesn`t have the intellectual curiosity to read, and that`s a crying shame. Kids don`t be like Trump, expand your mind and your horizons by reading.

I`m tempted to write a book called “Reasons to reelect Donald Trump,” all of the pages would be blank.

Trump doesn`t like reading books, but maybe he will read this Web site: Easy Peasy: Learn to Read Online:

https://allinonehomeschool.com/learn-to-read/

 Read More:
http://www.mediaite.com/online/donald-trump-tweets-admiration-for-book-with-no-words/

What Pet Should Donald Trump Get?

“Of all the stains besmirching the Trump presidency – the ethical lacunae, the spasmodic “policy” fits, the Golf Digest aesthetic – none looms so large as the absence of a White House pet. Breathes there a man with a soul so dead that he doesn`t want a loyal dog or faithful feline trotting beside him when he mounts that lonely staircase to the venerable Master Bedroom?

Apparently, yes.

It seems emblematic of President Trump`s blaring tone-deafness for the office that he doesn`t even feign interest in recruiting a furry, fowlish or finny friend. Pets reap vast, humanizing rewards for presidents, as almost every one of his predecessors has discovered.”

New York Times

Even Hitler had a pet, Blondi, a German Shepherd that was given to him as gift when it was a puppy. Hitler and his pooch were inseparable, Blondi stayed with her master to the bitter end, she was there with him when he finally died in his bunker.

I`m not comparing Trump to Hitler, the first rule of politics and political commentary is never compare anyone to Hitler. But Trump desperately needs a pet to soften his image.

What pet would be ideal for Trump?

Bird

Trump`s wispy hair would make an ideal nest for any bird.

Cat

Maybe not, we all know how Trump loves to grab pussy. Trump might grope a pussy cat to death.

Snake

Perfect choice! A snake is a universal symbol of evil, I can picture the evil bastard snuggling to sleep with a serpent.

Rat

Maybe not, it would be almost impossible to tell the rat apart from Trump`s aides.

Dog

It`s hard not to trust a person who loves dogs, if Trump can convince us that he loves his pooch, we might learn to tolerate him.

Read More:

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/15/opinion/sunday/what-kind-of-pet-should-donald-trump-get.html?_r=0

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Donald Trump Plays Golf With the World at the Edge of Armageddon

This Saturday marks the 105th anniversary of the birth of Kim Il-sung, `eternal president` of North Korea, and grandfather of Kim Jong-un. The more ineffectual the dictator the more grandiose his title, the Dear Leader just might ignite World War III.

The portly dictator has promised a big surprise for the “Day of the Sun,” which will most likely be another nuclear denotation. The chubby tyrant doesn`t have many tricks up his sleeves; it`s either firing a missile or detonating a nuclear bomb.

President Trump responded by dispatching the fearsome strike group led by the flagship U.S.S. Carl Vinson to North Korea.

Kim Jong-un in his usual inflammatory language is warning of thermonuclear conflagration, and China has positioned millions of troops near the border with North Korea.

With the world at the edge of Armageddon, Trump arrived for another weekend at his Florida resort on Thursday, sans the usual entourage of top aides who have accompanied him in the past.

Nero played the fiddle while Rome burned, and evidently Trump will play golf while the world burns.

Aides from the National Security Council may be accompanying Trump to his resort, but the image of Trump golfing during his crisis makes him look feckless and out of touch.

I wish Jong-un would drop the Mother of All Bombs on Mar a Lago, Trump`s vacations at his Southern White House are costing the American taxpayers a fortune.

At this critical juncture Trump needs to be at the Situation Room in the White House, where his aides can tell the neophyte politician how to properly and cautiously respond to North Korea`s provocations.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Outrage! $200 Million Suicide-Prevention Net Being Built at Golden Gate Bridge

“In May, contractors will begin installing temporary fencing along the Golden Gate Bridge and will being making measurements to manufacture a net to prevent suicide jumpers.
In a commemoration ceremony Thursday, Rep. Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., said the deterrent would provide a `critical second chance, maybe more than that` for those acting on impulsive thoughts.

In 2016 alone, 39 people died jumping off the bridge, considered one of the top suicide magnets in the world. Another 184 came to the bridge intending to harm themselves, but were stopped.”

St. Louis Post-Dispatch

The Golden Gate bride is an engineering marvel, an Art Deco artistic masterpiece, a San Francisco landmark, and a critical artery between San Francisco and Marin County.

This suicide prevention net is an aesthetic abomination, a $200 million financial boondoggle, and an affront to God Almighty, and the citizens of the most beautiful city in the world.

My hometown is paradise on Earth, I love the cultural and ethnic diversity, the world-class restaurants, the Victorian houses, cable cars, beaches …

Good riddance to anyone who jumps off the Golden Gate Bridge, they are oxygen thieves who despise the precious gift of life. It`s unfathomable how anyone can kill himself, let alone in the greatest city in the world.

To desecrate San Francisco`s most beloved and well-known landmark, spending $200 million in the process, to save a few wretched souls is the epitome of the pussification of America.

Instead of spending $200 million marring the artistic beauty of the Golden Gate Bridge, spend a couple of millions to fully staff the suicide prevention hotline.

Read More:

http://www.stltoday.com/news/suicide-net-is-being-built-at-the-golden-gate-bridge/article_3751e246-f39d-58d9-a077-8dc3b4b7bd0e.html

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

How Should Donald Trump Relieve Stress?

Donald Trump is the Leader of the Free World, the President of the United States, the Commander-in-Chief of the mightiest army in history, but he`s the most insecure man in the world.

The Trump administration is embroiled in scandals (most self-inflicted), devastated by leaks from his own staff, and under constant attack by the press and Democrats — Trump perceives himself being under constant siege.

Instead of seeking solace reading a book, attending a play or commensurating with a friend, Trump feeds his feeling of inadequacy by watching the MSNBC and CNN anchors and commentators criticize and ridicule his administration.

At night Trump can`t find comfort in the arms of his wife, she`s living in the Trump Tower in NYC, so he relieves tension by firing nasty and incoherent tweets.

God only knows to what extent Trump takes his frustrations off on his hapless staff, he is in desperate need of something to relieve his stress.

How should Trump relieve his existential angst?

Teddy Bear?

Lover?

Pet?

Hobby?

What do you think, dear friends and readers?

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Epic Encounter Between Red Panda and Rock Rocks the Internet: Video

The Giant Panda, native to China, has large distinctive black patches around its eyes, over the ears, and across its roly-poly body. The Giant Panda is arguably the most adorable creature on the face of the Earth, and it`s China`s goodwill ambassador to the world.

The Red Panda, also native to China, has reddish-brown fur, a shaggy tail, and a lean body. It`s a handsome animal, but it`s nowhere near as adorable as its black and white cousin.

This red panda`s antics are so adorable that this video is racking up more views than those featuring Giant Pandas. This video depicts the adorable animal emerging from a hole in its enclosure before abruptly stopping in front of a big rock, and adopting a defensive posture with its little paws raised in the air. After a few moments of nervous histrionics the seemingly defeated animal turned around and walked back into its hole when its shaggy tail tucked between his hind legs.

This epic encounter between the panda and the rock is a prime example why we love the Internet.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5wx-6cO8VA

Moron Asks Deputies to Check Home, They Find Marijuana Plants

“A Florida man who asked deputies to make sure there wasn`t an invader inside his home was arrested when they discovered marijuana plants instead.

The Lee County Sheriff`s Office said deputies responded Saturday to the North Fort Myers home of Nathan Stone, 23, who called to report that his house appeared to have been targeted by a break-in.

Deputies said Stone appeared visibly frightened when they arrived and he asked them to go inside his house first to make sure there weren`t any remaining burglars.

The sheriff`s office said the deputies agreed to Stone`s request and went inside to discover he was using his home as a marijuana grow house, with cannabis plants discovered in the living room, bathroom and a bedroom.”

UPI

This joker failed Dealing 101 Rule 1: If you have product in your house, don`t call the cops if you fear you`ve been burglarized.

He also flunked Rule 2: Don`t use your own product!

Not only is Stone a moron, but he`s also a coward. His girlfriend was in the house at the time, and he was too chicken to enter, and check to see if she was all right.

Stone and his girlfriend were arrested and charged with marijuana producing, marijuana possession over 20 grams and related charges.

Stone is such a sniveling coward, he`s going to be somebody`s wife in the Big House before you can say: Loser!

If Stone`s old lady is reading this article I have an offer for her: I will provide you with all the weed you can smoke if you move in with me, and if a burglar breaks into my house I`ll blow him away before he can do you any harm.

Read More:

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/04/11/Florida-man-asks-deputies-to-check-home-deputies-find-grow-house/9811491938655/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=3

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes