“There’s a reason ‘old people smell’ is instantly recognizable—and it has nothing to do with bad hygiene. The scent, a stale blend of must, cardboard, and something vaguely metallic, isn’t caused by skipped showers or mothballs. It’s biological. And according to experts, it gets worse with age because of what’s happening inside the body.”

Vice.Com

I remember when I was a child, I considered the elderly a mutant species, and when an old person invaded my personal space to pinch my cheeks or pat me on the head, I almost suffocated from “old people smell”.

As a teen I still gave seniors a wide berth, and I reasoned that bad hygiene, and poor health (rotten teeth, kidney disease, gastrointestinal diseases) were responsible for “old people smell”.

Now I am the decrepit and decaying monster that I feared as a youth. I shower daily, use anti-deodorants religiously and change my underwear daily and I’m still cursed with “old people smell.”

According to medical experts “old people smell” is biological, and it gets worse with age because of what’s happening inside the body.

I’m not a spring chicken; I’m a gristly old chicken that stinks to high heaven. Daily showers, anti-deodorant and cologne can’t mask the smell.

Some nutritionists believe that mushrooms are the perfect food to combat “old people smell”, but I’m at the point where I’m only interested in consuming magic mushrooms to help me forget growing old really stinks.