When you are old the world stops spinning so fast. Retirement frees you from a schedule, and time feels unchanged. You find yourself captivated by ordinary details you once overlooked: a robin snacking on a worm, the porch flag fluttering in the wind, or soft clouds drifting across the sky…

When I am forced to interact with a young person I feel like I am on a treadmill and I have to quicken my pace just so I will not lag behind.

Before I ask a question of the bank teller or grocery clerk, I always preface my inquiry with an apology: “sorry to bother you”, or “I know you’re busy, so I’ll be quick.”

Politeness is the default mode of the elderly, especially when dealing with the younger generations. Kids today find civility and frequent apologizing annoying rather than admirable. They are thinking, “Ok boomer, just get to the freaking point.”

Even though you are no longer a slave to the clock your time is still important, and just as valuable as that of the young person rolling their eyes at you. The faster you finish your transaction with the blue-haired grocery clerk, the sooner you will be home sipping wine or taking a long drag on a big ass blunt.

Enough with the self-deprecating language and obsequious demeanor! I am going to get with the program and whenever I leave my comfortable abode to run an errand, I will tell any young clerk I meet to hurry up and take care of my old boomer ass.