After 50 years in public service President Joe Biden’s political career is ending next week, and he will suddenly have a lot of free time. Although it could be argued that the senile octogenarian has done little in the last four years, and that his wife and his aides have been the real powers behind the throne.
Nevertheless, the 82-year-old retiree needs to consider what to do with the rest of his life. My suggestions (You are welcome Mr. President):
Star in Weekend at Bernie’s 3
This dark comedy was released in 1989, and its sequel was released in 1993, it is about time for a third sequel, and Biden is the perfect person for the role of the cadaver. The comedy tells the tale of two young insurance salesmen who discover that their boss Bernie is dead after arriving at his house in The Hamptons. They pretend that he is still alive, leading to hijinks, corpse desecration and guffaws. What better person to play the role of the corpse than a brain-dead octogenarian who is practically comatose?
Walmart Greeter
Biden can adequately perform the duties of a Walmart greeter, even if he has the cognitive ability of a wilted head of lettuce. You can count on Biden to greet women by sniffing their hair and welcoming young girls by giving them a courtesy grope or two.
Donate his body to Support Medical Research and Science
I know he is not technically deceased yet, but being experimented on while he is still alive will serve as atonement for failing to keep his implied promise not to run for reelection.
Whatever Biden decides to do after he leaves the White House, it will not be for long, the Grim Reaper will soon catch up with the doddering old fool.