Donald Trump’s tweets are bonkers, to use a psychological word. I can hear a chorus of “no shit” from my progressive readers.

But what if dementia or vanity aren’t responsible for Trump’s incoherent tweets? Bear with me now, what if the stable genius employs a sophisticated algorithm software to generate his tweets?

The fuc*ing moron types a message on his favorite social media platform that’s somewhat coherent and semi-logical, and then the app turns it into a typical Trumpian tweet that freezes your brain and deadens your soul.

The funky algorithm randomly capitalizes words, invents new words (covfefe), fractures the syntax and misspells words. The source code must have been written by a racist, because there’s usually at least a tinge of racism in Trump’s tweets.

You may be thinking: your wacky theory may be correct, but why would the short-fingered vulgarian use such an app?

Why you ask? Perhaps there’s method to Trump’s madness, and there is as much Machiavellian trickery as there is buffoonery at work. Trump intends to leave his critics in a perpetual state of confusion so they will be incapable of adequately countering his nefarious policies.