Donald Trump, the morbidly obese octogenarian with cardiovascular issues, made the following comments while speaking in Medora, North Dakota, during the inaugural events of The Theodore Roosevelt Presidential Library on July 1, 2026:
“And this week we look back on 250 years of glorious freedom and we took so much time and so much effort. And by the way on July 4th it’s going to be approximately 107 degrees out and I’m going to go and I’m going to make a really long speech just to show that I can do anything. It’s going to be 107.”
Theodore Roosevelt was famously sickly as a child, but he transformed himself into one of the most vigorous and passionate outdoorsmen in American presidential history. Trump, driven by ego, appeared to be trying to persuade his supporters that he is as healthy as Roosevelt was in his prime.
Considering that Trump is going to be wearing a dark blue suit in 107° weather, with his red tie choking his vagina, it would not be surprising if he suffered a heat stroke. If the buffoon teetered on his cankles and dropped dead while preaching to the choir, it would be the most glorious July 4th in the long history of our country.
It is illegal and immoral to threaten the life of the President, but there’s no law against praying or wishing that the steaming pile of shit, known as Donald J. Trump, dies of a heat stroke this July 4th.