I have been a misanthrope all my life, and now that I’m a senior citizen even my most pollyannaish friends, acquaintances, former co-workers and family members are as grouchy as I am. Why are boomers so irritable and crabby, and liable to throw a fit at the drop of a hat, and complain about everything under the sun?

In the 1960s, lead was common in everyday life: in house paint, water pipes, car fuel, and even children’s toys. Boomers grew up with widespread exposure, and lead poisoning can cause long-term psychological effects, including “less adaptive personality profiles in adulthood,” which may make it harder to adjust when routines change. Even so, I do not think lead exposure alone explains why boomers are so crotchety.

Let us get real, when every joint in your body aches, when you’re blind as a bat and deaf as a doornail, you are not going to be prancing around like freaking Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm.

Old folks do not remember what we had for breakfast, but we remember every perceived slight and every insult going back to kindergarten, and when a young whippersnapper makes a snide remark because we’re taking too long at the ATM, we lash out as if he was braying in a discordant choir with every wanker who ever made fun of us.

Young people would be well-advised to give us a wide berth, if our toxic tongue does not get you our noxious farts will.