Month: September 2017

Lewis Hamilton Posts Video of Chihuahua Humping Donald Trump Plush Toy! Bravo!

Lewis Hamilton, the British F1 driver, posted a video ridiculing Donald Trump on Instagram. The video shows a Chihuahua humping a Donald Trump plush toy.

Donald Trump is vile, profane, racist and a willfully ignorant narcissist, it`s an indictment on the greatest democracy in the world that we elected him president.

If a crackhead is smoking crack on my front lawn, I am not going to show him all due deference and kindly request that he “enjoy his controlled substance somewhere else.” You have to speak to people in a language that they will understand; I would demand that the crackhead “get the fuc* off my property before I bash his head in with a baseball bat.”

If you want to criticize or ridicule Trump you don`t employ subtle wit, you bash the short-fingered vulgarian over the head with savage insults.

Hamilton chose the right tact in demonstrating his displeasure with Trump`s racist views and policies.

Trump sees himself as the alpha dog, but Hamilton posted a video that depicts Trump as a bitch who is getting humped by a freaking Chihuahua.

My only point of contention with Hamilton is that he took down the video, it should have remained online until the American people come to their senses and remove the wretched dog from office by any means necessary.

Link to video:

https://www.thesun.co.uk/sport/4581266/lewis-hamilton-instagram-video-donald-trump-dog/

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Taliban Attempt to Kill James Mattis!

“The Taliban unleashed a barrage of rockets and suicide bombers detonated their vests at Kabul`s international airport Wednesday, the attack coming fewer than two hours after U.S. Defense Secretary James Mattis arrived there.

Mattis had already left the airport aboard helicopters to attend a meeting with Afghanistan`s President Ghani when the attack occurred.

The Afghan Crisis Response Unit responded to the attack and U.S. forces supported them in the air, but a missile malfunctioned and caused several friendly casualties, officials said.

Fox News

In October 2001 the United States invaded Afghanistan after the Taliban refused to turn over Osama bin Laden and dismantle al Qaeda`s terrorist bases.

In relatively short order the Taliban was removed from power, but most of the al Qaeda`s terrorists escaped to safe haven in Pakistan.

George W. Bush`s fevered vision of turning Afghanistan into a Jeffersonian democracy lies in the dustbin of history. Nevertheless 17 years later American young men and women are still shedding their blood in vain in this godforsaken country.

The Taliban have regained control of most of the territory in Afghanistan, the American puppet, President Ashraf Ghani, controls only Kabul.

America was justified in invading Afghanistan after the Taliban refused to give up the mastermind of the 9/11 attacks, but there is no justification whatsoever for an occupation that has lasted almost two decades.

The Taliban was justified in unleashing a barrage of rockets at Kabul`s international airport, they have every right to protect the sovereignty of their nation and to seek to kill the leader of the occupying force.

The Taliban are freedom fighters and Defense Secretary James Mattis is the general of an imperial army.

The Afghan people are sick and tired of foreigners interfering in their perpetual bloodshed, they simply want the Yankees to go home.

We should allow the Afghan people to slaughter each other in peace, and bring our young men and women home.

What the holy hell are we still doing in Afghanistan?

Read More:

http://www.foxnews.com/world/2017/09/27/mortar-rounds-land-at-kabul-airport-just-after-mattis-arrival.html

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Pennywise the Clown Makes Deliveries for Texas Donut Shop

“A Texas doughnut shop employed the help of a scary clown to make deliveries for customers looking to creep out their friends or loved ones.

The Frisco-based Hurts Donut shop shared photos of the menacing clown, reminiscent of Pennywise from Stephen King`s It, who would be delivering doughnuts for two days of early Halloween mischief.

UPI

I love horror flicks but I haven`t seen Stephen King`s “IT” because I`m terrified of clowns in general, and Pennywise in particular.

I hope Hurts Donut shop has liability insurance up the wazoo, because if Pennywise shows up at a homeowner`s door with a bag of donuts he`s going to end up with more holes than his donuts.

I know that if Pennywise knocks on my door, my first reaction will be to wet my drawers, and my second reaction will be to grab my shotgun.

I do love me some donuts though, right after I dispatch the Pennywise wannabe to hell, I`d grab his bag of donuts.

Since Halloween is right around the corner let me take this opportunity to beg parents not to dress their children like clowns, they may not make it home in one piece.

Link to video:

https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/09/26/Scary-clown-makes-deliveries-for-Texas-doughnut-shop/8961506452951/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=2

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Megyn Kelly’s Awkward Gay ‘Will & Grace’ Joke

“Megyn Kelly kicked off her heavily promoted NBC morning show on Monday with a bit of synergy for network peer Will & Grace – and an awkward joke that left many online scratching their heads.

During a segment with the cast of Will & Grace – including Debra Messing, Will McCormack, Sean Hayes, and Megan Mullally – Kelly invited a superfan of the groundbreaking comedy named Russel Turner to meet his television idols. `Is it true that you became a lawyer – and you became gay – because of Will?` Kelly asked in a joking manner.

Kelly then revealed that her show was awarding Turner two free tickets to a live Will & Grace taping in Los Angeles, an announcement which left the fan and the audience giddy with excitement. Yelling over the crowd, Kelly again turned to some unusual language to close the segment with Turner out: `I think the Will & Grace thing and the gay thing is going to work out great!`”

EW.Com

Megyn Kelly uttered many awkward and frankly racist comments during her tenure at Fox News.

In 2013 the Fox News anchor infamously declared that both Santa Claus and Jesus were white men. Never mind that Santa is a fictional character who`s been portrayed by men of various ethnicities. Jesus Christ was a historical figure whose Jewish lineage can be traced all the way back to King David, but scholars doubt that he resembled the Nordic God as depicted by white artists throughout the ages.

The ethnicity of Jesus is irrelevant, He`s the Son of God to his followers, and a respected spiritual leader to most people of the world.

As for Santa he`s a capitalist icon, and advertisers don`t care if he`s depicted as black, white, brown or purple as long as he moves product.

Being a superfan of “Will and Grace” is the epitome of being gay, I`m quite sure the “gay thing” will work out just marvelously for Turner.

But I`m not persuaded that the “anchor thing” will work out for Kelly at her new home, NBC.

Kelly was a good fit at Fox News, her ignorant and racist audience was thrilled with her racist commentary. But I doubt if she will survive for more than a year at the more mainstream broadcast network.

Read More:

http://ew.com/tv/2017/09/25/megyn-kelly-will-and-grace-gay/

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Melania Can’t Stand Donald Trump

“In the aftermath of Hurricane Irma, President Trump visited Fort Myers, Florida to speak about his administration`s recovery efforts in the state. The president was joined by his wife and vice president – but while addressing the crowd, Trump seemed to forget that Melania was standing right next to him, and instead told the audience that the First Lady `really wanted to be with us.`

But she was with them. Melania and Vice President Mike Pence were right by Trump`s side, as were Sen. Marco Rubio and other local officials, as he spoke about the post-Irma cleanup effort.”

Bustle

Donald Trump has an addiction for high-maintenance trophy wives, when he grew bored with Marla Maples he traded her in for fashion model Melania Knavs.

The celebrity couple has been married since 2005, and in the first few years of their relationship they made time in their busy schedules to engage in sexual congress.

Now that Trump is a septuagenarian he no longer has the ability to please his still relatively young spouse. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak …

Imagine his frustration, he`s like a rich old codger who admires his Ferrari in his garage, but doesn`t take it out for a spin anymore because he realizes that he no longer has the keen eyesight or quick reflexes to tame such a wild beast.

Melania has admitted that she married Trump for his money, and if she swats away his hand in public, you can be damn sure that she bitch slaps him if he tries to steal a kiss in the privacy of their bedroom.

No wonder Trump forgot that Melania was standing right next to him during his speech in Florida, she`s useless to him now.

We should share Melania`s disgust for her husband, and by any means necessary get rid of him.

Link to video of clueless Trump:

https://www.bustle.com/p/heres-donald-trump-literally-forgetting-melania-trump-exists-2436327

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There Should Be No Safe Haven in the World of Entertainment for Donald Trump

“Journalist Megyn Kelly told Ellen she`d welcome President Donald Trump on her new show, Megyn Kelly Today.

After telling Kelly she would not have the sitting president on her show, DeGeneres received massive applause from her studio audience.

`I just, you know, he is who he is and he has enough attention and he has his Twitter account and he has ways to get his message across. There`s nothing that I am going to say to him that is going to change him and I don`t want to give him a platform because it just validates him. And for me to have someone on the show, I really, I have to at least admire them in some way and I can`t have someone who I feel is not only dangerous for the country and for me personally as a gay woman but to the world. He`s dividing all of us and I think I don`t want him on the show,` DeGeneres said again to massive applause.”

Real Clear Politics

Jimmy Fallon, with his good-natured impish personality, was once the undisputed king of late-night comedy, but that all changed when Donald Trump appeared on “The Tonight Show” last September.

Instead of seizing the opportunity to grill (good-naturedly of course) the candidate on his racist and anti-women comments, inexplicably Fallon chose to humanize the monster by ruffling his hair.

Fallon paid dearly for his unforgivable mistake, he`s fallen far behind in ratings to the Trump-bashing Stephen Colbert.

There should be no safe haven anywhere in the world of entertainment for the Reality Show president, a lesson Ellen DeGeneres has certainly learned.

As a gay woman Ellen would never consider having the homophobic president on her show. No black talk show host should ever consider inviting the racist buffoon on his program. No Latino/Latina talk show host should ever consider giving the anti-immigrant and anti-Mexican idiot a platform to spew his noxious views. No white talk show host should ever consider inviting Trump to be a guest on his show, after all Trump is an embarrassment to the Caucasian race, indeed to all of humanity.

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World’s Oldest Cat, Nutmeg, dies at 32

“Nutmeg, believed to be the world`s oldest cat, died in England at the age of 32 earlier this month, his owners said.

Westway Veterinary Group in Newcastle upon Tyne announced Nutmeg died on Sept. 14 as a result of heart failure.

Liz and Ian Finlay cared for Nutmeg for 27 years after taking him in as a stray when he was 5 years old.

Finlay and his wife said their other cat Spice, who died in the early 2000s, constantly brought Nutmeg into their home before they decided to adopt him.

Finlay attributed Nutmeg`s long life to healthy portions of treats such as tuna, cream and hot roast chicken.”

UPI.Com

Cats are entitled to nine lives, but after having lived for 32 years I doubt Nutmeg will be reincarnated.

Nutmeg was a stray cat who was adopted when he was five years old, had he stayed on the streets he would probably wouldn`t have lived more than ten years. Feral felines live short and brutish lives; God bless people who adopt stray cats.

Nutmeg`s owners attribute his long life to healthy portions of treats such as tune, cream and hot roast chicken. I`ve owned cats all of my adult life, and one of my cats lived for twenty years, and I fed her tuna regularly. Don`t be afraid to spoil your kitties by feeding them human food every once in a while.

Nutmeg`s owners are so heartbroken that they don`t plan on getting another cat. I hope they change their minds after their sorrow subsides, I can`t imagine life without a cat.

Read More:

https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/09/22/Worlds-oldest-cat-Nutmeg-dies-at-32/3681506109735/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=1

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Rocket Man Vs The Dotard! Who Are You Rooting For?

Donald Trump has been called every name in the book, his willful ignorance, depraved profanity and epic narcissism is enough to make even a nun call him anything but a child of God.

When President Donald Trump gave an an address at the United Nations (The Mecca of diplomacy) on September 19, 2017 he referred to North Korea`s regime as a “band of criminals” and he called Kim Jong-un a “Rocket Man on a suicide mission.”

Trump`s speech at the United Nations is the equivalent of a sex worker giving a lecture at Notre Dame University where she blasts the school`s administration as “hypocritical and puritanical a**holes who need to get their heads out of the pope`s ass, realize it`s the 21st century, and allow escorts to ply their ancient trade in their university.”

Leave it to North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un (no stranger to fiery rhetoric), to come back with the perfect rejoinder:

I will surely and definitely tame the mentally deranged U.S. dotard with fire.

The Oxford Dictionary definition:

An old person, especially one who has become weak or senile.

The Urban Dictionary definition:

When you are in the midst of your dotage meaning that you are in the midst of your mental decline. i.e. you`re in the process of becoming a fuc*ing idiot.

I admit I didn`t know the definition of “dotard,” but it`s a perfect description of Trump. It`s similar to “retard,” but not as politically-incorrect.

Kim Jong-un is the Dear Leader of a communist hellhole, but most of us are hoping and praying that he will indeed tame the mentally deranged dotard with fire.

Maybe North Korea`s military technology is more advanced than we ever suspected, and they are capable of launching a tiny projectile, no longer than Trump`s penis, and target the freaking dotard.

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Lawrence O’Donnel’s Epic Off-air Rant! MSNBC Should Have Him Committed to an Asylum

“MSNBC`s Lawrence O`Donnell has apologized for his off-air outbursts during his Aug. 29 broadcast of The Last Word.
In an apology posted to Twitter, the Last Word host expressed remorse following the viral footage – which Mediaite obtained and posted Wednesday afternoon.
`A better anchorman and a better person would`ve had a better reaction to technical difficulties,` O`Donnell said. `I`m sorry.`”
Mediaite.com
Lawrence O`Donnell`s apology for his crazy outbursts during his August 29 broadcast of The Last Word is the understatement of the year.
In the obscenity-laden rant, O`Donnell gesticulates like a patient off his medication, bangs on his desk like a drummer on crack, and curses like a drunken sailor.
“There`s insanity in the control room tonight,” O`Donnell screams. The only insanity is behind the anchor desk; the prima donna goes freaking nuts over technical difficulties.
“A better anchorman and a better person would`ve had a better reaction to technical difficulties,” no shi*! Donald Trump would`ve had a better reaction to technical difficulties, right after his wife turned down his request for sex because “an hour to cleanse myself after 60 seconds of sex with you isn`t worth the effort.”
O`Donnell`s off-air outburst is eerily reminiscent of Bill O`Reilly`s classic off-air freakout. O`Donnell is a liberal and O`Reilly is a conservative, but they are both blowhards who treat their subordinates like dirt.

Link to O`Reilly`s breakdown:

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qy-Y3HJNU_s
O`Donnell owes his staff and viewers a public apology on his show. I will boycott O`Donnell`s program until he apologizes for his unhinged behavior.
Link to video of O`Donnell`s off-air mental breakdown:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmIJ1YEcTiY
Read More:
https://www.mediaite.com/online/lawrence-odonnell-apologizes-for-off-air-tirade-a-better-person-wouldve-had-a-better-reaction/

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Wanker Launching Line of Fanny Packs Featuring Images of Hairy Bellies

“A London-based artist is seeking help launching a line of fanny packs featuring images of pudgy, hairy bellies.

The `Dadbag` promises the wearer convenient travel storage as well as an instant “dad bod” in six different styles.”

UPI

Some fashion fads like cameltoe-enhancing vinyl jumpsuits, bellbottom pants, wide-collar shirts, platform shoes, and above else fanny packs should be left in the dustbin of history.

If I ever pen my autobiography I will leave out the fact that I rocked fanny packs in the 90`s.

A London-based artist/wanker is attempting to bring back fanny packs – surely a sign that Armageddon is right around the corner.

If you revive a fashion accessory from a bygone era, at least update it for the current generation. For example if you bring back the tight-fitting vinyl jumpsuit it should be emblazoned with the slogan: Real Women Sport Cameltoes!

But this British twit is making the fanny pack even worse by featuring images of pudgy, hairy bellies.

This insane fashionista is considering crowdsourcing his project. For the love of God I beseech a Londoner to buy a fanny pack at a thrift store, fill it with rocks, and administer the creator Albert Pukies a good solid bashing.

Read More:

https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/09/20/Dadbag-fanny-pack-offers-artificial-dad-bod/3851505931410/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=3

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

September 2017 Archives Page Two:

https://robertpaulreyes.com/september-2017-archives-page-2/

 

Donald Trump Jr. Wants to Give Up Secret Service Protection! Why Can’t His Idiot Dad Do the Same?

“Donald Trump Jr. has asked to be removed from Secret Service protection, telling friends he wants more privacy, according to two people briefed on the decision.

It`s a rare move for a member of the president`s family to forgo a security detail, in part because adult children are counseled by the Secret Service that they are quickly seen as targets for those railing against their famous parents.

One close friend of the president`s son said Trump Jr. has been talking for weeks about waiving the 24-hour protection that Secret Service agents provide him, his wife and their five children. But it was unclear Monday night whether he had requested his wife and children be dropped from protection. Secret Service spokeswoman Catherine Milhoan declined to comment on whether Trump Jr. and his family were no longer receiving protection.”

Washington Post

During his first seven months in the White House, Donald Trump has taken seven trips to Mar-a-Lago, five to his golf resort in New Jersey; and one to Trump Tower in Manhattan.

Earlier this year, Junior`s business travel to Uruguay cost the Secret Service nearly $100,000, and that was just for hotel rooms. Which begs the question, does he travel with a harem of bimbos?

Donald Trump`s weekly trips to his resorts, and the business and vacation trips of his sons and daughters are bankrupting the Secret Service.

I don`t know what prompted Trump Jr. to request that he be removed from Secret Service protection, but I hope his father and his siblings follow his example before they bankrupt the federal government.

I`m not saying I want Trump to be assassinated, but the prospect of Trump traveling sans Secret Service protection fills my heart with joy and hope for the future of our great democracy.

Let me make it abundantly clear, I`m not advocating for the assassination of Trump, and anybody who makes threats against the president should be prosecuted.

However, I hope and pray that a solid citizen will lie to Trump and tell him that Kim Jong-un doesn`t have any bodyguards. That would be enough for Trump to try to out-macho the Korean dictator and compel him to dismiss his Security detail.

Read More:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/donald-trump-jr-wants-to-give-up-secret-service-protection/2017/09/18/2a0e7e72-9cd3-11e7-9c8d-cf053ff30921_story.html?utm_term=.3d633329ef1c

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Donald Trump, Twitter and the End of the World

Outrage is the coin of the realm on social media, especially Twitter. Trump has a volcanic nature and his default mode is outrage, therefore Twitter is the perfect platform for him to publish his insane proclamations.

Many presidents have occasionally used the editorial pages of the New York Times or the Washington Post to communicate with the American public. But Trump`s grammar is unfit for a middle school newspaper, let alone a prestigious publication like The New York Times, fortunately there are no grammar rules per se on Twitter, and he can vent to his illiterate heart`s content on the social media site.

I sometimes wax apoplectic on Twitter and nobody bats an eye, because that`s just how people roll on Twitter.

Even though Trump is the President of the United States and Leader of the Free World we shrug when he spouts nonsense on Twitter. Nothing to see her folks, it`s just our Buffoon-in-Chief talking smack on his favorite social media platform.

Trump could tweet that Kim Jong-un the Rocket Man and Crooked Hillary should ride a nuclear-tipped missile shaped like a dildo and crash into a deserted island and we would take it in stride, after all Trump has been twitting crazy shi* for years.

If Trump tweeted “crazy fundies are right and September 23, 2017 is really the end of the world and imma gonna grab me as much pussy as I can before then!,” I would think to myself what kind of a fuc*ed up world do we live in, I always thought the end of the world would be announced by heavenly trumpets, not by a stupid Trump tweet.

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Donald Trump Re-tweets Golf Ball Hit on Hillary Clinton

“On the eve of a critical week of foreign policy challenges, Donald Trump started his Sunday by retweeting an edited video of him hitting a golf ball into Hillary Clintons back — and her falling over from the impact.

That message — a trollish attempt at humor with overtones of violence against women — went out to Trump`s 38.5 million Twitter followers and turned a Sunday expected to be focused on the President`s preparations for the United Nations General Assembly meetings this week into a now-familiar White House circus.”

CNN

Granted Hillary Clinton is the most unlikable politician in the modern political era, and if she was hit hit by a golf ball causing her to fall over from the impact she would not be inundated with Get Well cards.

In fact I hope she is conked in the head by a golf ball, but the only injury she will suffer is a total amnesia of the 2016 presidential election. I`m sure I`m not the only one who is sick and tired of her and Trump continuously rehashing the election.

However a man with a history of misogynistic behavior and making crude jokes at the expense of women should refrain from retweeting a video with overtones of violence against women.

We shouldn`t let Trump get away with anti-women antics even when the targets of his venom are vile and reprehensible creatures like Rosie O`Donnell and Hillary Clinton.

Trump will always be Trump, which means he will always act like a pig, but we must never stop condemning him for his unacceptable behavior.

Link to video:

http://www.cnn.com/2017/09/18/politics/trump-golf-ball-clinton/index.html

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Mother! the Worst Film in the History of Cinema!

My coworker has been trying to persuade me for months to stream or download movies from a torrent site, but I always countered that it was copyright infringement, and that downloading films from a torrent site was an excellent way of contracting a virus.

But the other night I couldn`t find a straight-to-video flick on Netflix that looked interesting, so I made the fateful, or should I say fatal, decision to watch Mother! on a popular torrent site. I wanted to see what all the fuss was about, now I know what they mean by “curiosity killed the cat.”

Little did I know that not only was I exposing my computer to malware, but I was also exposing my soul to eternal damnation.

Mother! is the worst movie in the history of cinema. The running time of this execrable mess is 121 minutes, but it will take you 121 years of therapy to recover from watching it.

The writer and director Darren Aronofsky should be banned from Hollywood for life, and forced to live in a conservative community where a work like Mother! Is viewed as sacrilegious trash.

The star of Mother! And Aronofsky`s girlfriend Jennifer Lawrence should endure all the indignities and torments that her character suffered a hundredfold in real life.

After I viewed Mother! I took a long bath, but I still felt defiled and dirty. If only I had the courage to pluck out my eyes and pierce my eardrums with a knitting needle.

This is perhaps the most consequential essay I have ever written, if you value your sanity and spirituality I beseech you, for God`s sake don`t watch this abomination.

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11-Year-Old Who Cut White House Lawn is a Stooge Who’s Trying to Humanize a Monster

“President Donald Trump has taken up an offer from an 11-year-old in Virginia to help cut the White House grass.

`Frank from Falls Church, Va.,` was helping the grounds crew cut the Rose Garden grass on Friday, according to press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders. On Friday, she shared an image of him pushing a lawn mower next to the West Colonnade.

Frank Giaccio was so focused on pushing the lawn mower, he didn`t notice Trump had emerged to greet him until the president was next to him in the Rose Garden. Frank got a high-five from the president, who called him `the future of the country.`

Last month, Sanders read a letter from the boy in which he wrote that he admires the president`s business background and has started his own neighborhood lawn care business.”

NBC News

Trump supporters tout Frank Giaccio, who goes by the nickname `FX`, as the embodiment of entrepreneurship and hard work that made America Great, but the rest of us view him as a willing stooge who is trying to humanize a monster.

FX waived his usual fee of eight dollars, figuring that the publicity will expand his business to the point where he can cut grass fulltime, and drop out of middle school.

Trump has a sad history of stiffing contractors, I doubt he would have paid him anything anyway. The young landscaper probably left the White House with only a “Make America Great Again” hat and a signed glossy photograph of The Donald.

FX hails from Falls Church, Virginia, a wealthy suburb of Washington with the lowest level of poverty of any independent city or county in the United States.

The little creep may be a hero in his affluent hometown, but in real America he is anathema.

The president called FX “the future of our country,” if that`s true our great democracy is doomed.

Read More:

http://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/Frank-Falls-Church-Mows-White-House-Lawn-444657323.html

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Candice Bergen’s Disastrous Date With Donald Trump

“Candice Bergen recalled the dud of a date she went on with future President Donald Trump back in college, and admitted his dedication to color coordination just didn`t do it for her.
`He did (pick me up). He was wearing a three-piece burgundy suit and burgundy patent leather loafers and a burgundy limousine,` she said Wednesday on `Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen.` `There was no physical contact whatsoever.`
The 71-year-old `Murphy Brown` actress, who was 18 and attending the University of Pennsylvania at the time, admitted that while Trump was a good-looking guy, he was also a douche.”
The New York Daily News
Candice Bergen survived her traumatic date with Donald Trump, and went on to become a top fashion model and an award-winning actress.
If Bergen is anything at all like the sharp-tongued and hard as nails Murphy Brown (her most famous role), I`m not surprised that she dismissed The Donald after only one date.
Thank goodness Trump seems to have gotten over his fetish for color coordination, if he wore an orange suit and orange loafers to coordinate with his orange face he would look like a clown.
Bergen reminisced about her date from hell with Trump while sporting a “Free Melania” sweater. Wearing a sweater with a slogan is a fashion faux pas that no fashion model should ever make, but I agree with the sentiments.
Bergen`s date with Trump left her with the impression that he was a douche, fortunately we don`t need to date him, or even have a couple of beers with him to deduce that he`s a douche, a clown, and a racist.
Bergen`s date with Trump lasted only a couple of hours, and Trump`s term in office shouldn`t last more than a couple of years, we should impeach the douche.

Read More:
http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/candice-bergen-recalls-college-date-donald-trump-article-1.3495666

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Video of Chainsaw-Wielding Nun, Sister Margaret Ann, Becomes Symbol of Irma Recovery

“The cleanup after Hurricane Irma is a massive undertaking, after the destructive storm hit Florida and neighboring states over the weekend. In Miami, a nun chipped in to clear trees in her neighborhood – and no one, it seems, can resist a story about a chainsaw-wielding nun.

Sister Margaret Ann was spotted at work by an off-duty officer of the Miami-Dade Police Department, which posted video and images from the scene in the community of Kendall West Tuesday.

The department calls the sister`s work another sign that Miami`s community will work together to repair what Irma broke, writing on its Facebook page, “Thank you Sister and all of our neighbors that are working together to get through this!”

NPR

I was raised Catholic, and as a child I attended catechism classes, the memory of ruler-brandishing nuns terrorizing their young charges is indelibly etched in my mind.

Had I seen a chainsaw-wielding nun as a child I would have required lifelong therapy.

I imagine sisters as sadistic creatures who indulge in meaningless religious rituals like clutching rosary beads and lighting votive candles.

But Sister Margaret Ann breaks all the stereotypes, she`s a no-nonsense principal of Archbishop Coleman F. Carroll High School, and she`s loved and respected by the students.

When the shi* hit the fan and Hurricane Irma wreaked devastation in her neighborhood, the good sister didn`t retreat to her prayer closet and recite a hundred Hail Marys.

Homegirl grabbed a chainsaw and cleared the trees in her neighborhood. The video of the nun dressed in her habit, using a chainsaw to cut downed trees into smaller parts so they could be removed from roadways after Hurricane Irma swept through the area has gone viral.

An image of a butt-naked Kim Kardashian failed to break the Internet, but the video of Sister Margaret Ann serving God and her community by clearing trees has gone viral.

Perhaps there`s hope for humankind after all.

Link to video:

http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/09/13/550629622/nun-with-a-chainsaw-becomes-symbol-of-post-irma-cleanup-she-rocks

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Ted Cruz Loves Porn, I Mean Homeboy Really Loves His Porn

“Sen. Ted Cruz woke up Tuesday to find his name trending on Twitter – linked overnight to a certain video from the Milf Hunter series, perhaps unfairly, perhaps irrevocably.

The clip itself is just over two minutes, details of its contents mostly unprintable. It features a sectional sofa, the pornographic actress Cory Chase, her fictitious nude stepdaughter, and a very energetic young man.

But around midnight Eastern time, someone signed into the senator`s official Twitter account and clicked a little heart below the video – and thus did @tedcruz `like` porn.

By late morning, reporters were waiting outside the U.S. Capitol to question the flesh-and-blood Cruz about his online alias`s handiwork, which he disavowed.

`It was a staffing issue and it was inadvertent,` the senator said. `it was a mistake.`”

The Washington Post

Instead of manning up the “family values” politician threw a staffer under the bus. Cruz didn`t want to ruin his reputation of being a pro family values Christian.

How much of a prig is the junior senator from Texas?

When Cruz was the solicitor general of Texas he defended a Texas state law banning the sale of sex toys, arguing in a 2007 court brief that individuals have no legal right to use them, even in the privacy of their own bedrooms.

Like most moralistic politicians Cruz believes that the Federal government shouldn`t interfere in an individual`s personal life, except when it comes to sex.

The Texas law was unconstitutional and anti-women, since almost all sex toys are made for the enjoyment of women. Cruz couldn`t abide the thought that a woman could reach ecstasy without the help of a man.

Let`s stipulate that it wasn`t a staffer but Cruz himself who liked the porn clip. Since everybody hates Cruz, even his own family, (there are several videos on YouTube depicting his daughters turning away in disgust when he was trying to kiss them), I`m sure everybody will agree with my conclusion.

The pertinent question is why would Cruz like a porn video on his Twitter account knowing full well that the press would demand an explanation.

This is the likely scenario:

In the witching hour Cruz recites his nightly prayers, and then as is his custom, surfs the Internet for porn.

He finds the perfect video for his enjoyment: A buxom young lady comes home and finds her nude stepdaughter having sexual intercourse with a young man, and naturally secretly watches the action while masturbating.

In the throes of climax Cruz likes the video, the experience is so intense that he forgets that he liked the video, and doesn`t delete it until a few hours later.

Forgive me dear readers if you are throwing up at this point, but I am only fulfilling my journalistic duty by reporting the truth (as I see it).

While you are writing me a nasty email for leaving you with a scene that you will not soon forget, I will take a much needed shower.

Read More:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/powerpost/wp/2017/09/12/after-tedcruz-liked-a-porn-tweet-sen-ted-cruz-blamed-a-staffing-issue/?utm_term=.272bae3228a9

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Donald Trump Jr. Owns Michael Moore! He Cuts the Fat Loudmouth Down to Size!

“As the rest of the nation prayed and waited to see what the storm would do just after Hurricane Harvey slammed Texas, dumping 33 trillion gallons of rain onto the U.S., and causing massive floods that killed 70 people, left wing activist Michael Moore and others decided to play politics. On Twitter, Moore asked if Mar-a-Lago, President Trump`s resort would be opened as a shelter for Irma victims.”

Townhall.Com

The liberal firebrand tweeted: Has he opened up Mar-a-Lago yet?

Donald Trump Jr. responded:

It`s on an island on both the ocean & intercostal and in a mandatory evacuation zone… probably not the best idea, but you know, narrative.

Let me preface my remarks by stating that Junior is as reprehensible as his old man, he proves the adage that the turd doesn`t fall far from the ass.

During Trump`s nascent presidential campaign, most people said “Trump may be a buffoon, a racist and an egomaniac, but at least he raised his children to be respected members of society.” The behavior of Trump`s children, especially his sons, during the campaign and during Trump`s first few months in office has demonstrated that they are as profane and vile as their father.

But credit must be given where credit is due, Junior absolutely eviscerated that fat piece of crap with his reply.

Joel Osteen was ripped apart on social media when he refused to open his megachurch to the survivors of Hurricane Harvey, and Moore thought he would Osteen Donald Trump. But Junior cut that fat loudmouth down to size.

Read More:

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/mattvespa/2017/09/11/donald-trump-jr-takes-michael-moore-to-the-woodshed-over-this-remark-during-irma-n2379677

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Miss Texas Margana Wood Condemned White Supremacy Better Than Donald Trump Ever Has

At the Miss America pageant Houston`s 22-year-old Margana Wood was asked about the president`s response to the recent White Supremacist rally in Charlottesville, Virginia.
People editor Jess Cagle inquired: The president said there was shared blame with very fine people on both sides. Were there? Tell me yes or no and explain.
The Texas beauty responded: I think that the white supremacist issue … it was very obvious that it was a terrorist attack. I think that President Donald Trump should have made a statement earlier addressing that fact and making sure all Americans feel safe in this country. That is the number one issue right now.

Beauty pageant contestants are infamous for their vacuous answers to simple questions. Miss Teen South Carolina 2007, Caitlin Upton, went viral for her incomprehensible answer to the question:

“Recent polls have shown a fifth of Americans can`t locate the U.S. on a world map. Why do you think this is?

Link to video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZD7Pz_b-eo

 When a beauty pageant contestant is asked a question, regardless of the topic, she will usually allude to World Peace, and mention how much she loves puppies and butterflies.
But Wood, with only a few seconds to formulate her answer, gave a clear and concise answer to the question that President Donald Trump totally botched. Wood didn`t need a TelePrompTer and a team of advisers to condemn white supremacy in no uncertain terms.
We should impeach the 71-year-old buffoon Donald Trump and replace him with the 22-year-old beauty Margana Wood.

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Should You Let Your Dog Lick You?

“Dogs lick us because they love us, but should we love their kisses?

There are more than 700 different types of bacteria in a dog`s mouth – and that`s just normal bacteria (it doesn`t count the rotting ham sandwich Fido found on his morning walk). So, that saying about a dog`s mouth being clean is rubbish.

Veterinarians Will Draper and Francoise Tyler, Web MD contributors from The Village Vets practices in Atlanta, Ga., say there are two reasons to be concerned: One, if a dog licks someone who has a weak immune system (like those with cancer) or two, if the dog has a medical condition that could spread.

There`s also a more obvious reason you might not want a smooch from your pooch, and that is: They put a lot of nasty stuff in their mouth.

USA TODAY

There`s nothing more heartwarming than watching a puppy lick a child, or a grown man kiss his pooch.

But in a society where every product has a warning label, some germaphobes are warning dog lovers that exchanging smooches with Fido is unsanitary and potentially dangerous.

I realize that unlike cats dogs don`t have a cleanliness fetish, they will greedily eat any rotting piece of meat they find during their daily walk, and they have a penchant for licking their nether regions.

But when my dog licks me when I come home from work, his demonstrative affection for me overwhelms any concerns I may have about what else he may have been licking.

When a man kisses a prostitute the last thing on his mind is what other creep she has been kissing, a dog owner`s love for his pet is stronger than the lust that a John has for a prostitute.

I don`t care if my pooch, Mandy, has 700 different types of bacteria in her mouth, a kiss from her is a tonic that fortifies me from life`s trials and tribulations.

Life is too short: Kiss your pooch!

Read More:

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2017/08/22/exactly-how-gross-dog-kisses/522133001/

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Donald Trump’s Creepy Relationship With Ivanka

“Donald Trump was branded nauseating and creepy after he referred to his daughter Ivanka as honey during a speech in North Dakota.

The U.S. president was delivering a speech at a tax reform event when he invited his daughter up on stage, calling her `honey` as he told how she was desperate to visit the U.S. state alongside him on Wednesday.

He told crowds he liked of the way Ivanka called him `daddy` when the 35-year-old businesswoman asked to join him for the trip.”

Inviting his daughter up on stage, Mr. Trump said: “Sometimes they`ll say he can`t be that bad of a guy – look at Ivanka. Come on up, honey. She`s so good.

MSN

Donald Trump has always enjoyed an intimate, some would say perverted, relationship with his daughter Ivanka.

We can`t forget, regardless how hard we try, the creepy September 2016 photograph depicting a 15-year-old Ivanka grinding on the lap of her father during a Beach Boys concert.

During a TV interview on The View in 2006 Donald Trump said: If Ivanka weren`t my daughter, perhaps I`d be dating her.

During the 2016 presidential campaign Trump demonstrated a tendency to let his tiny hand slip to his daughter`s backside while introducing her on stage.

Trump`s inordinate affection for his daughter hasn`t dimmed, as his behavior toward her during a recent speech in North Dakota proved.

America is nauseated by everything that Trump says or does, but especially by his creepy relationship with Ivanka.

So The Donald likes being called “Daddy?” I hope Mr. T pimps slaps the Orange Buffoon, and asks him “Who`s your daddy?” until he cries out “You`re my daddy.”

Read More:

http://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/world/come-up-honey-donald-trump-slammed-over-comments-to-daughter-ivanka/ar-AArunG6

Link to video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1kpgj88gSkA

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Hodge the Famous Bookstore Cat

It`s tradition for independent book stores to employ a cat as a mascot, enter the search term “bookstore cat” on YouTube and you will get dozens of hits.

Hodge the Bookstore Cat`s domain is a used-book and sheet-music emporium on the South side of Chicago. He`s an institution in the Windy City, and two works of fiction have been inspired by his glorious career, “The Secret Life of Hodge, the Bookstore Cat” and “Hodge Sings Again.”

Unfortunately, the bookstore where Hodge works has shut its doors due to declining sales, but his celebrity hasn`t waned. Hodge is featured in the new book “Bookstore Cats,” and his videos still go viral.

We can learn two things from Hodge`s story:

Within a generation bookstores, especially independent bookstores, will be as difficult to find as a Blockbuster video store. Digital media is rendering bookstores, and even libraries, obsolete.

The popularity of cats will never diminish, when the Zombie Apocalypse arrives we will be clutching a shotgun with one hand to fend off zombies, and holding our beloved cat with the other.

Link to Hodge the Cat video:

http://www.chicagotribune.com/lifestyles/pets/ct-life-famous-cat-loses-job-0917-story.html

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Vladimir Putin: Donald Trump is Not My Bride

“Russian President Vladimir Putin dismissed a question about U.S. President Donald Trump at a news conference Tuesday, refusing to comment on U.S. political affairs and distancing himself from the American leader.

Trump is “not my bride, and, likewise, I am neither his bride nor bridegroom. We are statesmen,” Putin told reporters, according to a translation by Reuters.”

Huffington Post

Donald Trump`s bromance with Vladimir Putin has lasted twice as long as the average Kardashian relationship, and if those two lovebirds ever consummate their romance, and if a video of their unholy tryst emerges it would break, nay shatter the Internet.

But it appears that Putin is having second thoughts about their love affair, the Russian president insisted that Trump is not his bride.

Putin was engaging in diplomatic speak, this is what he was really saying: Oh hell to the no, Trump ain`t my main squeeze, he`s just a side bitch. He`ll be lucky if I give him an industrial size jar of Vaseline as a parting gift.

Trump`s ardor however hasn`t waned, he`s still madly in love with the man who won him the election.

If Putin wants to get rid of his fatal attraction, he should gift Trump a couple of Russian prostitutes whose specialty is Golden Showers.

Read More:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/vladimir-putin-donald-trump-not-my-bride_us_59af08c7e4b0dfaafcf36e36

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

 

Tyler Perry and Joel Osteen Deserve to Spend Eternity Together in Hell

“Atlanta film and television mogul Tyler Perry is the focus of a new Care2 petition is asking him not follow through with a plan to donate $250,000 to Houston megachurch pastor Joel Osteen to help with hurricane relief efforts.

Osteen was widely criticized on social media for being slow to open the doors of the 16,000-seat Lakewood Church to victims seeking shelter from Hurricane Harvey flooding. Perry, who considers Joel and Victoria Osteen friends, has said he will donate $1 million to relief efforts, a quarter of which will go to Osteen`s ministry to help buy supplies and other relief efforts.

The petition has gathered more than 6,800 signatures.”

AJC.Com

Tyler Perry is an actor, comedian, filmmaker, writer, songwriter, and a born-again Christian. Perry`s signature character is Madea, a tough elderly black woman played in drag by Perry himself.

Christians who would run to the opposite side of the road to avoid interacting with a real transgender woman can`t get enough of the Madea movies.

Tyler`s movies are very popular with mainstream audiences, but they are reviled by most African American artists. Spike Lee dismisses Perry`s work as “coonery buffoonery.”

Joel Osteen is a Prosperity Gospel televangelist who has made a fortune taking advantage of the elderly and the easily deceived.

It`s not surprising that a billionaire actor and director with no discernable talent would become fast friends with a multimillionaire televangelist with no discernable spiritual gifts. Birds of a feather …

The $250,000 that Perry donated to Osteen to help with hurricane relief efforts should be enough for the Osteens` yearly supply of Botox.

If there`s a God in heaven, these booty buddies will burn forever in hell.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes