We All Want Jimmy Carter to Live Forever and Joe Biden to Hurry Up and Die

In February former president Jimmy Carter, who’s been diagnosed with metastatic melanoma that has spread to the brain, announced that he would forgo medical intervention and spend the remainder of his life in hospice care in his modest home in Plains, Georgia.

Carter was a mediocre president, but he’s enjoyed a highly successful post-presidency engaging in global humanitarian work since founding The Carter Center in 1982.  The iconic photographs of Carter building houses for Habitat for Humanity best represent his life’s work as a former president.

Carter’s announcement elicited gushing tributes from politicians and pundits that could have served as obituaries. It’s now September and Carter remains in good spirits as he welcomes family and well-wishers to his humble abode. We all thought we would lose our beloved Jimmy in February, but we are thrilled that he is still with us.

In April 2023 President Joe Biden, 80, announced that he is running for reelection in 2024, and his announcement was met with frustration by Democrats who don’t think he has the stamina, physical strength or mental dexterity to finish his term, let alone serve another one.

Biden’s reelection announcement prompted alarmed Democrats to realize that his cognitive decline is on a death spiral, and a shot of Geritol isn’t going to revive him long enough to deliver a coherent stump speech.

The evidence of Biden’s terminal decline is manifest, his disastrous Hanoi press conference proved all his doubters right.

We all hope that the Grim Reaper stays away from Carter for as long as possible, but we are praying that he will drag Biden to hell as quickly as possible.