mike pence

Mike Pence: ‘I’m Running to Win’

“Romney, who announced earlier in the day that he would not be seeking reelection in the Beehive State, told The Washington Post in an interview ahead of his announcement that ‘I don’t think [Pence] has … any delusions that he’s going to become the nominee.’

‘I think he’s running for other reasons. One, to repair his legacy. … What he’s saying is important to be said. … I’m glad he’s running and saying those things. I respect that,’ Romney added.”

The Hill

Donald Trump’s doll hands have an iron grip on the Republican presidential nomination, according to the latest Quinnipiac poll he has 62 percent support, followed by Ron DeSantis at 12 percent and everybody else, including Mike Pence, is in single digits.

Trump is the King and the Republican nomination process is a coronation, as evidenced by the fact that all of the contenders, with the exception of Asa Hutchinson, Chris Christie and Will Hurd are acting like his publicity agents instead of adversaries.

Most of the GOP presidential candidates realize they don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of winning, they’re just hoping that Trump will appoint them to an important role in his court, perhaps as Royal Jester or Chief Fluffer.

Pence is somewhere in the middle, he isn’t a Trump fluffer, but the only time he condemns Trump is when he criticizes him for ordering him to overturn the election results on January 6, 2021.

When Pence was asked about Romney’s comments he replied:

“I’m running for president of the United States because I think this country’s in a lot of trouble, and I’m running to win.”

I concur with Romney, Pence knows the he isn’t going to win, Trump’s MAGA base would rather hang him than vote for him.

If Pence is running to repair his legacy, then it’s incumbent upon him to go full Chris Christie and rip apart Trump’s corrupt behavior while in office and his despicable behavior in trying to overturn the election.

Mike Pence Doesn’t Have a Snowball’s Chance in Hell of Winning the 2024 Republican Presidential Nomination

Mike Pence

Former Vice President Mike Pence is a Judas figure in MAGA world for refusing the order of his master Donald Trump to overturn the results of the 2020 election.

There is nothing that Pence can do to rehabilitate his image in the eyes of MAGA zealots; he doesn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of winning the Republican presidential nomination in 2024. Trump supporters want to burn the heretic, extinguish the flames in a flood of golden showers and then hang the burnt corpse.

All indications are that Pence will humiliate himself by running for president. Therefore, Pence has vowed to appeal all the way to the Supreme court, the Justice Department’s special prosecutor subpoena to tell all he knows about Trump’s words and actions on January 6, 2021. He’s cognizant that if he testifies that act would be seen as traitorous by MAGA fanatics.

For the love of God, grow some balls, you’re already a Benedict Arnold in their eyes.

As the last chapter in his political career, Pence should run for president not with winning as his objective, but as a crusade to expose his erstwhile sociopath boss.

Miles Taylor: Mike Pence Has Erect Posture but Flaccid Conscience

“On the day Mike Pence and Donald Trump both spoke in Washington, a former member of their administration poured scorn on Pence’s attempt to portray himself as a potential Republican presidential nominee, and competitor to Trump, in 2024.

Speaking on CNN, Miles Taylor said: ‘If you want to know what the Mike Pence vice-presidency was like, Mike Pence is a guy with an erect posture and flaccid conscience. He stood up tall but he did not stand up to Donald Trump.’”

The Guardian

Miles is spot-on, Pence’s posture is normally erect, but the rigid evangelical and firm conservative turns into a jellyfish when it comes to Donald Trump.

Throughout his tenure as vice president, Pence was subservient to his Lord and Master Donald Trump. In fact, the only part of his body that was erect was his penis, especially when it was in close proximity to the Dear Leader’s rear end.

Pence portrayed himself as a devout evangelical, but he failed to speak out against Trump’s amoral and corrupt behavior. Pence’s allegiance to Trump was greater than his commitment to his faith, and that’s why he debased himself before his Orange Messiah.

Pence was willing to humiliate himself before the grifter-in-chief and compromise his religion in order to reach his ultimate goal, become president after serving faithfully as Trump’s second-in-command.

Pence’s adoration of his tyrannical boss finally came to an abrupt end when he disobeyed the former president’s demand that he refuse to certify electoral college results from key swing states.

Pence did the right thing by accepting his ceremonial rule in certifying the electoral college results, but he didn’t really stand up to Trump, not even as he put his life in danger by posting anti-Pence tweets during the insurrection, Pence still hasn’t unequivocally lambasted Trump’s treasonous behavior.

Pence’s hypocrisy and cowardice renders him unfit to serve as president of the United States.

Mike Pence a Hero? Hell to the no!

In the January 6 committee hearings Mike Pence is being depicted as a hero for his refusal to obey Donald Trump’s unconstitutional demand that he to reject key electoral votes on Jan. 6, 2021.

Pence doesn’t deserve a place in the Mount Olympus of American patriots for dutifully performing his ceremonial role on Jan. 6, 2021.

Pence is not a hero, he’s a sniveling sycophant, an egregious enabler and a yellow-bellied yes man.

If Pence had smidgeon of the courage of the police officers who protected him and his congressional colleagues on Insurrection Day he would testify before the January 6 committee to ensure that Trump never becomes president again.

Pence is still an ineffectual wimp, witness his answer to Larry Kudlow when he asked him if he’s ever seen a president say as many falsehoods as Joe Biden. “Never, in my lifetime”, responded the great man of courage and integrity.

Pence was by Trump’s side when the twice-impeached former president uttered tens of thousands of false or misleading claims during his tenure, and yet he has the temerity to say that Biden is a bigger liar than the pathological liar and chief proponent of the Big Lie.

Pence a hero? Hell to the no!

The Best Mike Pence Donald Trump Super Bowl Jokes

“Fans after the game trolled Donald Trump by turning his biggest 2020 election grievance into fodder for jokes on Twitter.

Trump lost the election, but insisted Mike Pence could overturn the results, a power the vice president does not have.

But even though Pence change the election for Trump, fans joked that maybe he could at least overturn the game result.”

Huffington Post

Here are my favorites, all mine:

The Satan-worshipping refs called phantom penalties against America’s team, and the Pence needs to demonstrate some courage and overturn the result.

It’s not over until Mother declares the winner, and she is too busy inserting Ben Wa balls into her neglected vagina to worry about a damn football game.

Only Mike Pence can declare the winner, and unfortunately, he couldn’t see the game from inside Trump’s a-hole.

The only reason the Lord allowed a team from a red state to beat a team from a swing state is because the Super Bowl was played in Satan’s, capitol, Hollyweird. The game needs to be played again at Mar-a-Lago.

The god-fearing Bengals lost because Eminem knelt in homage to Satan during the halftime show. Replay the game until the Bengals win.

Yes, these are some pretty sad jokes, but the sorriest joke of all is the morbidly obese racist who tried to steal an election.

Donald Trump Jr: ‘It’s Not too Complicated to Wear a Mask’

“Donald Trump Jr. said Tuesday that masks should be worn during the Republican National Convention in Jacksonville, Fla., with the president’s eldest son stating the precaution is “not too complicated” to help ensure the event is carried out safely and appropriately.”

The Hill

As the coronavirus pandemic spikes in the South and West, Republican leaders are finally pushing back against the notion that masks are about politics, as Donald Trump suggests.

The head of the White House Coronavirus Task Force Vice President Mike Pence has finally seen the light and has started wearing a mask in public and urging Americans to follow his lead. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell instructed Americans to wear one when they are unable to maintain social distance.  

And now even Donald Trump Jr. said that masks should be worn during the Republican National Convention.

The president remains the only noteworthy GOP leader who is still peddling the dangerous notion that wearing a mask is about politics and not public safety. If Trump donned a mask in public and urged his supporters to do the same the curve might finally be flattened.

After all, Trump’s supporters will do anything their false messiah tells them to do. If Trump orders them to jump off a cliff, they would leap off the cliff while screaming, “I love Trump!” If Trump told them to wear their underwear as a face covering to protect them from the coronavirus, they would immediately take off their dirty drawers and cover their faces.

The same way that Donald Trump Jr. would urge his senile old dad to zip up his pants before facing the press, he should convince the doddering old stable genius to wear a mask in public.

Mike Pence Refuses to Say: Black Lives Matter

“Vice President Mike Pence wouldn’t say the words ‘black lives matter’ when specifically asked to say them in an interview with a local ABC affiliate in Philadelphia. The interview took place on Friday, Juneteenth, which commemorates the end of slavery in the United States.

He instead said what happened to George Floyd was a tragedy and said: ‘In this nation, especially on, on Juneteenth, we celebrate the fact that from the founding of this nation, we cherish the ideal that all, all of us are created equal and endowed by our creator with certain inalienable rights. And so, all lives matter in a very real sense.’”

CBS News

In an interview about Juneteenth, a holiday celebrated on 19 June to commemorate the emancipation of slaves in the United States, it would have been the most appropriate time for Vice President Mike Pence to exclaim, “Black Lives Matter”.

Mike Pence repeatedly declined to utter the words “Black lives matter” during the interview with the ABC affiliate in Pennsylvania on Friday, instead saying that “all lives matter.”

It’s like pulling teeth to get anyone in the racist Trump administration to acknowledge the dignity and humanity of African Americans. In the aftermath of the cold-blooded murder of George Floyd, the latest in an endless string of black men killed by police, when millions of Americans are protesting in cities, towns and villages all over our country, it’s political malpractice and an unpardonable sin for Pence not to acknowledge that there’s systemic racism in the police department and in our society at large by saying: Black Lives Matter!

It’s axiomatic that all lives matter, but it’s not whites who are systematically being executed by cops, it’s blacks who are being hunted down like dogs. In this context it’s foolish and disingenuous to say “all lives matter”, the only sensible response to this institutionalized racism is to scream, “Black Lives Matter.”

After almost four years of the racist rhetoric and racist policies of the Trump administration, it’s abundantly clear that white lives, blue lives and redneck lives matter to them, but they don’t believe that Black Lives Matter!

If you believe that all lives matter, including black lives, on November 3, 2020 vote for Joe Biden, the only candidate who will run his administration as if Black Lives Matter!

Pence to Keep Distance From Trump! Oh, the Separation Anxiety!

“US Vice President Mike Pence, whose press secretary tested positive for coronavirus, has decided to ‘keep his distance’ from President Donald Trump for a few days, the White House said Tuesday.

Katie Miller, Pence’s press secretary, tested positive for the virus last week along with a personal valet to Trump.”

AFP

The coronavirus stay-at-home orders are a difficult adjustment for most Americans, we miss our work colleagues, friends and vulnerable elderly relatives.

But imagine how difficult it is for Vice President Mike Pence who has decided to keep his distance from President Donald Trump for a few days. Pence’s mouth is permanently affixed to Trump’s fat butt and it will require the skills of a plumber to pull them apart.

Whenever Trump delivers a speech Pence is always right behind smiling beatifically at him. Pence will suffer severe separation anxiety and will require psychiatric therapy. Maybe the sycophant can foster an orangutan with a red bottom to serve as a surrogate until he can resume his default position kissing Trump’s ass.

At least America’s most famous yes man still has Mother, he can chastely and platonically kiss her until he is reunited with his Rubenesque lover.  

Evangelical Hypocrite Karen Pence Claims Trump Empowers Women

“Second lady Karen Pence faced fierce backlash on Twitter after she reportedly praised President Donald Trump for the way in which he treats young women.

According to The New York Times’ White House correspondent Katie Rogers, the wife of Vice President Mike Pence on Wednesday told a ‘Women for Trump’ discussion in St. Paul, Minnesota, that she likes the respect Trump has for his daughters and claimed he’d ‘empowered women like no other.’”

AOL

Isaiah 5:20 King James Version (KJV) “Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!”

Karen Pence is the Mother of all sanctimonious hypocrites, and there’s a special place reserved in hell for “Christians” like her who praise evil men.

At a “Women for Trump” meeting (that’s even more disturbing than “Virgins for Ron Jeremy”), she said that she likes the respect Trump has for his daughters and claimed that the serial sexual predator empowered women like no other. I’m overwhelmed by the “respect” Trump has for Ivanka, he’s been touching her inappropriately since she was a prepubescent girl. Prison is full of fathers who respect their daughters in similar fashion.

Mother needs to spend less time reading the Bible and more time reading the newspaper accounts of Trump’s long and disturbing history of insulting, groping and downright sexually assaulting women. Has Pence forgotten about the 2005 “Access Hollywood” video where Trump bragged about grabbing women by their genitals?

Because of women like Karen Pence real Christians and non-believers alike have lost all respect for white evangelicals. That special place in Hell reserved for Mother should be a room where Pence is locked in with a nude Trump and an endless supply of Viagra.

Read More: https://www.aol.com/article/news/2019/10/10/karen-pence-praises-donald-trumps-treatment-of-young-women/23833261/

Mike Pence Desperately Tries to Distance Himself From Donald Trump

A footman servant was never too far behind his Lord and Maser, he had to be close by to serve meals and open and close doors, in short, he had to be at his Lord’s beck and call.

Mike Pence is always by his boss’s side, gazing lovingly at him while he spews nonsense. Pence’s brown nose is testament to how close he is figurately and literally to Trump’s fat ass.

Even though Trump and Pence are joined at the hip, the vice president is desperately trying to keep his distance from Trump’s intensifying Ukraine scandal. Those efforts are going particularly well, Trump deliberately enmeshed his second-in-command in his campaign to exert pressure on the leader of Ukraine. If Trump goes down, so will Pence, Barr, Mulvaney, Pompeo and all the other spineless cowards who are covering up for him.

When the shit hit the fan and the news of the Zelensky call broke, Trump told reporters:

“I think you should ask for VP Pence’s conversation, because he had a couple of conversations also.”

Trump rewarded Pence for his obsequiousness by throwing him under the bus.

NBC News’ Vaughn Hillyard asked Pence several times if he was aware the Trump administration was delaying aid to Ukraine to pressure Ukrainian President Vlodomyr Zelensky to go after Biden. A simple “yes” or “no” would have sufficed, but Pence filibustered and otherwise avoided answering the question.

Nothing illustrates Pence’s futile attempt to distance himself from Trump’s Ukraine scandal that his exchange with Hillyard.

Link to video: http://www.msnbc.com/the-beat-with-ari/watch/watch-pence-evades-repeated-questions-on-trump-s-ukraine-plot-70950469929

If Trump is Impeached Would a Pence Presidency be any Better?

President Donald Trump is melting down under the  heat of a serious impeachment inquiry, Democrats are emboldened and some Republicans are beginning to entertain the possibility, however remote, of Mike Pence becoming the 46th President of the United States.

Even though the evidence is overwhelming that Trump committed bribery and obstructed justice in the Ukraine whistleblower  scandal, the odds that a two-thirds majority of a Republican-controlled Senate would remove Trump from office are slim to none.

But events are moving at warp speed and momentum may lead to the unimaginable: enough Republican senators succumb to a mountain of evidence that Trump committed impeachable offenses, and they act like statesmen, put country over party and remove Trump from power.

Humor me and try to imagine a Pence presidency: on the plus side obscene tweets and toxic comments would be replaced by innocuous  thoughts and sanctimonious prayers and trysts with porn stars and Playboy bunnies would be replaced with prayer sessions with Franklin Graham and Robert Jeffress.

Some devout Muslims get prayer bumps on the forehead due to the friction generated by repeated contact of the forehead with the prayer mat during daily prayers; Pence the devout evangelical gets a brown nose by repeated contact of his nose with Trump’s rectum during his daily devotions.

Therefore I suspect little will change,  a sniveling little man who was obsequious to a tyrant won’t suddenly turn into a champion of the poor and disenfranchised when he assumes power.

Immigrants, minorities, gays and lesbians, and women will still be treated like dirt under a Pence administration, the only difference is that the new boss who is same as the old boss, will say a benediction before signing a bill that screws them over.

Karen Pence Takes to Twitter to Defend Trump and It’s Not Going Well

Mother

“Karen Pence has joined Twitter to help with President Donald Trump’s reelection campaign. And it’s not exactly going well. The wife of Vice President Mike Pence created the account last month, and over the weekend shared a video announcing her intentions to help the 2020 campaign. After first revealing her likes ― painting, bike riding and reading ― she declared that she will be on the campaign trail ‘to help tell the story of what President Donald Trump and Vice President Mike Pence are accomplishing in the Trump administration.’ She then called on Twitter users to ‘follow along to KEEP AMERICA GREAT!’ and shared some photos from campaign events as well as the Pence family pets.”

Huffington Post

Evangelical Christian Karen Pence has tipped her toes in the toxic playground that is Twitter, a profane world where the tender sensibilities of a believer are bound to be assaulted.

But then again, Mother is quite at home in the corrupt swamp that is the Trump administration, so I’m sure she’ll survive her foray in the social media wilderness.

Last month Mother created a Twitter account to help Trump’s 2020 campaign. She declared that she will be on the campaign trail to help tell the story of what Trump and her obsequious husband are accomplishing in the Trump administration.

Thanks, but no thanks. We don’t want to hear your sugar-coated bullshit, Rep. Adam Schiff and the House Intelligence Committee are going to expose Trump’s dastardly deeds.

Pence urged her Twitter users to “follow along to KEEP AMERICA GREAT.” Americans, especially Twitter users, are sick and tired of Trump making America a laughingstock and a disgrace, and we will make America Great Again by kicking Trump out of the White House, by any means necessary.

Read More:  https://www.huffpost.com/entry/karen-pence-donald-trump-twitter_n_5d887c4ae4b0957256b98ba1

Mike Pence Claims Triple Crown Winner American Pharoah Bit Him

“Vice President Mike Pence told Republican House members at a retreat in Baltimore on Friday that American Pharoah bit him so hard when he saw the 2015 Triple Crown winner that he nearly collapsed, according to a report by Lesley Clark of McClatchy’s DC Bureau.


Pence and Kentucky Rep. Andy Barr dropped by Ashford Stud in Versailles, Ky., on March 7, 2018, for a meet and greet with American Pharoah. During the visit, Pence – who referred to himself at Friday’s GOP gathering as a horse guy – said he held the horse briefly and American Pharoah bit me so hard on the arm, I almost collapsed.
‘I just gritted my teeth and smiled,’ Pence said, ‘because you know what? In our line of work, you’re going to get bit sometimes, but you keep fighting forward. And we did.'”


Paulick Report


Dermot Ryan, the manager of the stud farm seemed doubtful that American Pharaoh bit the vice president, describing the Triple Crown winner as a “sweet horse.”

Every politician worth his salt regales his audience with tall tales, witness Joe Biden’s epic story of his showdown with Corn Pop, the gangsta leader of the Romans.

I share Ryan’s skepticism, but horses are noble and intelligent creatures and they don’t suffer fools or politicians gladly. The race horse may very well have chomped on Pence’s arm.

Pence claims that he just gritted is teeth and smiled when the horse bit him, and doesn’t he have plenty of practice at gritting his teeth and smiling when he’s standing next to Trump as he utters sheer nonsense?


I just wish American Pharoah had chomped off his brown nose, and kicked him in the ass for good measure.

Read More: https://www.paulickreport.com/news/people/vice-grip-mike-pence-tells-unlikely-tale-of-being-bitten-by-american-pharoah/

Mike Pence’s Nose is Permanently Affixed to Donald Trump’s Rectum

On Sunday, the New York Times reported that Donald Trump had invited representatives of the Taliban to Camp David for peace talks over the objections of some top advisers, including National Security Advisor John Bolton and Vice President Mike Pence. 


In response Trump what he does best, lie. He tweeted:


“A lot of Fake News is being reported that I overruled the VP and various advisers on a potential Camp David meeting with the Taliban. This Story is False! I always think it is good to meet and talk, but in this case I decided not to.”


Pence and Trump are joined at the hip, or perhaps it would be more accurate to state that the VP’s nose is permanently affixed to his boss’s rectum. Therefore it comes as a surprise that Pence would disagree with Trump about such an important matter, but it’s not surprising Pence would deny that they disagreed. A parish priest is more likely to publicly disagree with the Pope, than Pence is to publicly declare that he doesn’t share the same opinion as the racist-in-chief on any issue.


Before you could say “Mike Pence has the brownest nose in Washington” Pence replied to to Trump’s tweet”


“That’s Absolutely Right Mr. President. More Fake News! The Dishonest Media never contacted our office before running with this story and if they had, we would have told them I FULLY support your decision.”


Notice the sniveling sycophant channeled the stable genius in his tweet, adopting the president’s nomenclature and random capitalization.

What a spineless coward! The only thing that reeks more than Pence’s nose is his soul!

Karen Pence is a Scary Mother

“Second Lady Karen Pence was terrified after Donald Trump won the 2016 election — scared that the couple would go broke. ‘What are we going to do, Mike? We don’t have any money!’ she railed at husband Mike Pence the day after Trump’s surprise victory, according to an upcoming book. ‘Who’s going to pay for my inaugural gown?’ Trump’s inaugural committee ended up picking up the tab for Karen Pence’s outfit, according to Tom LoBianco, author of ‘Piety & Power: Mike Pence and the Taking of the White House.’”

The New York Post

When Donald Trump’s vain fantasy of being the President of the United States became a real-life nightmare, Karen Pence was mortified and terrified.

Was the devout evangelical Christian terrified because she feared that the morally depraved real estate developer with a penchant for declaring bankruptcies to avoid paying contractors would lead America to financial ruin and moral depravity?

No. Mother was only thinking about herself, namely who was going to pay for her inaugural gown.  It’s totally in keeping with the mentality of a politician’s wife, that she expects someone, a lobbyist, a donor, or the government, to pay for her damn inaugural gown.

“What are we going to do, Mike? We don’t have any money,” she screamed at her hapless husband. The Pences aren’t exactly in the poorhouse, Mike’s state and federal pensions pay him hundreds of thousands per year for the rest of his life. We’re not talking about a blue-collar family that is worried about how they will pay for their daughter’s prom dress.

Even had Mother worn the most expensive inaugural gown in the world, she would still look frumpy and dowdy. She’s no Melania Trump, that’s for damn sure.

I was terrified when Trump won the 2016 election, and I’m still terrified. Who will deliver us from the vulgar and incompetent Trumps and the sanctimonious and hypocritical Pences?

Read More:   https://nypost.com/2019/09/07/karen-pence-was-worried-about-going-broke-after-trump-won/

Mike Pence Wants to Expedite Capital Punishment for Mass Killers! What a Genius!

“The Department of Justice has drafted legislation that would expedite capital punishment for those found guilty of mass killings, according to a top Trump administration official.

Vice President Mike Pence’s chief of staff Marc Short told reporters Monday that the veep’s policy team has been working with Attorney General William Barr on the death penalty bill, which will likely be part of a larger gun control package the White House will try to sell to Congress amid a wave of shooting massacres, including the latest rampage in Texas that killed seven people.”

New York Post

The British landed on Plymouth Rock, and they quickly expanded their outpost to include most of the North American continent. How could they not prevail against the indigenous American tribes with God, and Manifest Destiny on their side? Surely the Jehovah of the Old Testament who commanded the Israelites to slaughter the Canaanites in order to occupy the Promised Land would grant them immunity to wipe out the Indians in the name of Jesus Christ and capitalism?

America was founded on blood and violence and to this day violence reigns supreme thanks to God-fearing Christians who make a fetish out of the 2nd Amendment.

Gun violence could be diminished if Congress expanded background checks, and outlawed assault rifles and high-capacity magazines, but instead Republicans rely on thoughts and prayers. How’s that working?

Now Mike Pence and the Department of Justice are really making a farce out of trying to stamp out mass murder by drafting legislation that would expedite capital punishment for those found guilty of mass killings.

Never mind that most mass killers commit suicide after quenching their blood thirst or commit suicide by cop.

I will sleep well tonight knowing that the thoughts and prayers of conservative Republicans and the excellent plan of Pence to expedite capital punishment for mass killers will stamp out the scourge of mass killings.

Iceland’s Prime Minister Snubs Mike Pence

Iceland’s leader has announced that she will skip U.S. Vice President Mike Pence’s visit to her Nordic nation, opting instead to keep ‘prior commitments’ by attending a trade union conference in Sweden.

Prime Minister Katrin Jakobsdottir said that she’s planned for months to give the keynote speech for the Council of Nordic Trade Unions’ annual meeting in Malmo, Sweden, on Sept. 3 — the day before Pence’s arrival. She has no plans to return the following day for his visit.

TIME

Iceland’s Prime Minister Katrin Jakobsdottir is my favorite leader of a foreign country, because she’s a dead ringer for Susan Dey circa 1970 and she’s no fan of the Trump administration.

The beautiful Prime Minister announced that she will skip Mike Pence’s visit to her country, citing a prior commitment to speak at a trade union conference in Sweden the day before the VP’s arrival.

It should be noted that Sweden is only about 1,000 miles from Iceland, but I take it she wouldn’t walk across the street to meet Pence.

Jakobsdottir is a leading crusader for abortion rights, LGBT rights and climate change, it’s not surprising she doesn’t want anything to do with the likes of Mike Pence.

Pence is getting an icy reception in Iceland, maybe the mayor of Reykjavik will deign to meet with the hapless vice president of the United States.

Read More: https://time.com/5658037/iceland-pm-skipping-pence-visit/

Donald Trump Will Never Replace Bobble-Head Doll Mike Pence With Nikki Haley

“President Donald Trump said Sunday he was very happy with Vice President Mike Penceand planned to keep him as his running mate in the 2020 election.”

 AOL
Trump judges the worthiness of a person solely on his loyalty to him, and Pence is the perfect second-in-command, he’s loyal, deferential and obsequious.

Whenever Trump makes an important announcement, Pence is placed behind him to serve as a bobble-head doll. The VP bobs his head up and down as he stares adoringly at his better half.

A bobble-head doll’s head is oversized compared to its body, but its huge head doesn’t indicate the presence of a big brain, indeed a bobble-head doll is synonymous with a blockhead idiot.

In political circles Pence may be referred to as a bobble-head doll, but everyday folks are more likely to use the street vernacular, chicken-head. According to the Urban Dictionary, a chicken-head is a woman who likes giving head, bopping up and down like a chicken.

Any way you slice it, Pence is Trump’s bitch, and just like a chicken-head will never get a sore neck from servicing her man, the VP will never tire of nodding his fool head of regardless what obscenity or absurdity emanates from the president’s sphincter-shaped mouth.

Pence doesn’t have to worry about Trump replacing him with Nikki Haley or anyone else, at least as long as he’s never cured from bobble-head doll syndrome.

Even Disgraced Cyclist Lance Armstrong Can’t Stand Mike Pence

Disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong disappeared from the national consciousness after he was stripped of all his achievements in 2021, including his seven Tour de France victories.

But the 47-year-old Texan still rides his bicycle for fun, and he occasionally tweets. Yesterday he tweeted:

“I can’t drop many people on a bike these days but I just blew the fuckin’ doors off Mike Pence on a Nantucket bike path. Day. Made.”

Armstrong had a testicle surgically removed in 1996 due to testicular cancer, but he still has more balls than Pence. You will never hear the vice president offer even mild rebuke to the most corrupt, racist and willfully ignorant president in history.

The retired athlete may be thoroughly disgraced, but at least he recognizes that Trump and his lackey Pence are deserving of ridicule and criticism.

Armstrong may very well have been telling the truth, because Pence was in Nantucket on Saturday for a fundraiser for the Republican National Committee.

I hope I never run into Pence on a bike path, I might be tempted to crash into him on purpose.

Mike Pence is an Evangelical Christian, and That’s Real Scary

“I’m a Christian, a conservative, and a Republican, in that order.”
Mike Pence


Vice President Mike Pence is an evangelical Christian. This shouldn’t be perceived as a badge of honor, but as a warning to anyone, in this pluralistic democracy, who isn’t a white Christian male. Pence sharpens his dogma into a spear, and brandishes it to strike fear in the hearts of unbelievers. He loves only those who look like him, think like him and hate like him. If the swarthy bearded Jesus of the Gospels walked into Pence’s church, he would instruct one of the ushers to kick him to the curb.

Pence is a Christian first and foremost and he will align himself politically with anyone who will advance his religious agenda. That’s why he had no qualms about becoming the running mate of a life-long Democrat who ran as a Republican only because his racist rhetoric would only be tolerated in the GOP. As long as Donald Trump remains faithful to the evangelical anti-abortion, anti-gay and anti-women’s rights program, Pence will remain his steadfast defender and supporter.

Pence reverently nods along with whatever insane racist, profane or even blasphemous remark escapes from Trump’s sphincter-like mouth. Every politician wishes he had a bobble head mannequin that always agreed with him. Whenever Trump dehumanizes immigrants of color, mocks the physical appearance of women or insults a war hero, there’s Pence nodding by his side, in essence giving his blessing to his boss’s evil words and actions.

Pence is a Christian, a white evangelical Christian, and there are millions just like him who secretly wish America was a theocracy, and the leader of their theocracy would be a tyrant who would make Donald Trump look like Mahatma Gandhi.

Mike Pence Should Spend Less Time on His Knees and More Time Helping the Needy

“Mr. Pence said that as a politician he faces a lot of attacks, and had several pieces of advice.
‘No. 1 is, spend more time on your knees than on the Internet,’ he said.”


The Washington Times


Vice President Mike Pence faces a lot of criticism, not simply in his capacity as an officeholder, but because he’s a spineless politician who remains silent in the face of his boss’s blatant racism, misogyny and homophobia. If Pence manned up and spoke truth to power he wouldn’t be so universally disliked.

I’m not going to accept advice from such a weak and ineffectual man, therefore I won’t analyze all his several pieces of advice. I will only discuss the prescription he mentioned first:
Spend more time on your knees than on the internet.

No one doubts that Pence spends a lot of time on his knees, the problem is that he spends a lot of time on his knees servicing Trump, instead of seeking divine wisdom.

It’s not a binary choice between being on your knees, whether in prayer to God or in servicing Trump, or being online. Pence would be well-advised to broaden his horizons and spend less time on his knees and more time reading the works of Martin Luther King Jr., volunteering at food kitchens, visiting immigrant communities, and yes going on the internet to preach a message of tolerance, acceptance, unity and love.

Mike Pence Launches ‘Latinos for Trump’ Voting Drive

Mike Pence launched “Latinos for Trump” in Miami on Tuesday, a quixotic effort by the Trump re-election campaign to motivate Latino voters in advance of the 2020 election.

Miami, a stronghold of conservative Cuban-Americans, is one of the few cities where Pence could hold a “Latinos for Trump” event without being laughed out of town.

“I promise you from the first day of this administration, President Trump has been fighting for the values that are really synonymous with Hispanic and Latino immigrants. Hard work, faith, family, freedom, educational choice, and the American way,” he had the audacity to say.

Pence’s lying rhetoric may have resonated with Miami’s middle class Cuban community, but the 1.2 million Puerto Ricans living in the Sunshine State, many who fled from Puerto Rico in the aftermath of Hurricane Maria, surely recognized it as unadulterated BS.

Since the day Trump announced that he was running for president by branding Mexican immigrants as rapists and criminals, he’s been on a mission from God to disenfranchise Hispanic Americans and to demonize Latino immigrants.

Trump separates children from their parents at the border, depriving them of freedom and basic necessities by housing them in concentration camps. How the hell is that synonymous with respecting Latino values of freedom, family and faith?

Latinos suffering under the Trump regime are already motiving to vote in the 2020 election, and we’re going to kick that racist to the curb.

Drag Queens Make Lovely Video for Mike Pence’s Birthday

Gay?

Donald Trump is turning 73 on June 14, and he’s managed to restrain himself from issuing an executive order making his birthday a national holiday. However, he is making a big deal out of his birthday, an email was sent this week to subscribers of the Trump-Pence campaign urging them to sign a birthday card that his lackeys will bestow on him come June 14. Their goal: Two million signatures.

Vice President Mike Pence will turn 60 on June 7, and I know what y’all are thinking: with his constipated smile and his white hair he looks older than Trump. Some kindhearted drag queens are making sure that Pence’s important day isn’t overlooked by releasing a video wishing him a happy birthday by urging people to donate money to LGBTQ organization in the homophobe’s name.

The drag peformers parody Marilyn Monroe’s famous “Happy Birthday, Mr. President” performance to John F. Kennedy by singing the sultry song to Pence.

Many raging homophobes are latent gay men, and it wouldn’t surprise me if Pence bats for the same team as these lovely drag queens.

I bet Pence will play this video every day until he joins the big Broadway chorus line in heaven.

It’s Only a Matter of Time Before Trump Soils Himself on Live TV

“It’s Only a Matter of Time Before Trump Shits Himself. Frankly, I’m shocked it hasn’t happened already. We have a president who regularly shows signs of mental decline: He regularly forgets people’s names and places. He makes up words. This much is clear—there will quite likely come a time when our president shits himself, probably on TV, for all to see.”

Splinter/Katherine Krueger

Trump’s mouth looks remarkably like a sphincter, and watching him speak is like watching a porn video for freaks with a sphincter fetish. Nothing but crap flows from his mouth, and whenever I hear him speak I feel like taking a shower afterwards.

But I concur with Krueger that it’s only a matter of time before the stable genius shits himself. Trump is like a ticking bomb full of crap: there will be a detonation and the shit will hit the fan. You don’t have to be a professional gambler to know that the odds are in your favor that the obese septuagenarian who eats crap every day will sooner rather than later shit himself on live TV.

The man-baby probably stains his drawers in private every day. Mike Pence doesn’t just wash his mouth after kissing his boss’s bunghole, I bet he’s tasked with washing the feces stains from the sofas and chairs in the White House.

The short-fingered vulgarian has already besmirched the presidency beyond redemption, and it won’t be much of a shock to anyone when the inevitable happens and he suffers the mother of all wet farts in public.

White evangelicals will claim that the stain in clown’s rear end is the likeness of Jesus, and Nancy Pelosi will hold her nose and insist that it’s still not time to impeach the incontinent demented moron.

In other words, it will just be another day in the Trump White House when the crazy old buffoon soils his diapers.

Read More: https://splinternews.com/it-s-only-a-matter-of-time-before-trump-shits-himself-1835071094

White Evangelicals Like Mike Pence and Jerry Falwell Jr. Betray the Gospel of Jesus Christ

The last time Vice President Mike Pence spoke at Liberty University, he used the backdrop of one of the world’s largest Christian schools to vouch for candidate Donald Trump’s faith credentials during the 2016 campaign.

When Pence returned to the school Saturday to deliver the commencement address, his remarks were more personal.

Pence, who has been facing criticisms of his own religious views recently, warned graduates that they have to stay strong against the challenges they’ll get from Hollywood, the media and the secular left.

‘Throughout most of American history, it’s been pretty easy to call yourself Christian,’ Pence said. ‘It didn’t even occur to people that you might be shunned or ridiculed for defending the teachings of the Bible. But things are different now.’

USA Today

Jerry Falwell Jr., the president of Liberty University, was the first prominent evangelical to endorse the presidential candidacy of Donald Trump.

Ever since Trump and his lackeys have maintained a close relationship with Falwell and his university, so it wasn’t surprising that Vice President Mike Pence made a pilgrimage to the Mecca of White Evangelicalism to deliver the commencement address.

Pence warned the graduating class that they might be ridiculed for defending the teachings of the Bible. Jerry Falwell Jr. and his acolytes have been mocked and castigated by Hollywood, the media, the secular left and true Christians not for defending the teachings of the Bible, but for making a mockery of the teachings of Jesus Christ by supporting and enabling a morally degenerate president.

Pence, who was dubbed, a cheerleader for a porn president, by Mayor Pete is the last person on Earth who should be dispensing spiritual advice to graduates.

WWJD if He was the commencement speaker at Liberty University? He would rail against the university in the same way that he railed against the Pharisees. He would condemn them for turning their backs against poor folks, immigrants, prisoners and other social outcasts. He would condemn them for embracing the spirit of anti-Christ in the person of Donald Trump.

I beseech my readers to be like Jesus and condemn the anti-Christian spirit of Trump, Pence and other reprobated white evangelicals.

Read More: https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2019/05/11/mike-pence-liberty-commencement-speech-prepared-ridiculed/1151252001/