Month: December 2024

Trump Looks Like Danny DeVito Compared to Prince Williams

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“Donald Trump’s recent meeting with Prince William in Paris has reignited debates about the president-elect’s true height. Officially recorded as 6’, 3” during his booking at Fulton County Jail, Trump appeared noticeably shorter than the Prince of Wales, who is also said to stand at 6 feet, 3 inches.”

HindustanTimes.Com

Donald Trump is constitutionally incapable of telling the truth, if his lips are moving, he’s lying. He dissembles as a matter of course, even when there is no practical reason for being dishonest. He lies about everything under the sun: his biography, political and religious beliefs and even about his physical attributes.

The morbidly obese, Big Mac loving, septuagenarian who never exercises claims to weigh 215 pounds. Yeah right, and Danny DeVito played semi-professional basketball before he became an actor.

Trump famously assured American voters that there was “no problem” with the size of his hands – or anything else. Yeah, right anyone who has seen him in person or on TV is repulsed by his diminutive doll hands, and women who had the misfortune of being intimate with him are disgusted with his puny mushroom-shaped penis.

The narcissist frequently boasts that he stands 6’3” tall, but when he stood next to Prince Charles, who really is 6’3”, he appeared noticeably shorter. Even though Charles has a bald pate, and Trump’s urine-colored wispy hair adds at least an inch to his height.

Trump lied about his physical characteristics, unfortunately he wasn’t lying about being a dictator from day one. We are screwed.

Trump Hawks $199 Cologne

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“Dead flies make the perfumer’s ointment give off a stench; so a little folly outweighs wisdom and honor.”

Ecclesiastes 10:1

Donald Trump, the grifter-in-chief, promoted Trump branded merchandise throughout his presidential campaign and even after his election win. He sees his supporters as sheep to be fleeced, and he’s hawked everything from $1000,000 “Trump Watches” to $100 silver coins to $60 Trump-branded Bibles.

It is an open secret that Trump smells — a pungent odor that reeks of flatulence, feces, sweat and urine emanates from every pore in his body. Former Rep. Adam Kinzinger was a little bit more diplomatic describing the stench as a combination of “armpits, ketchup, make-up and a little butt.”

Even though the obese buffoon stinks to high heaven, he has the gall to sell Trump-branded colognes at $199 each.

If Trump has the chutzpah to sell Trump-branded colognes, I would not be surprised if before long he will be hawking Trump-branded adult diapers. The grifter might as well, everyone knows he is incontinent, some of his supporters even wear T-shirts emblazoned with the slogan, “Real Men Wear Diapers.”

Trump is a billionaire and if he had a smidgen of decency and decorum, he would not resort to grifting every product under the sun to his MAGA cultists.

In French cologne is called “Eau de Toilette” which means the process of personal grooming, not toilet water. But I wish that the Trump cologne contained real toilet water so that we could smell his supporters coming a mile away.

Future so Bleak Under Trump People Don’t Want to Procreate

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“On November 6, the number of people booking vasectomy appointments at Planned Parenthood spiked by 1,200 percent, IUD appointments by more than 760 percent and birth control implant appointments by 350 percent… Traffic to Planned Parenthood’s webpages on tubal ligation, vasectomies and IUDs has also surged by more than 1,000 percent for each.”

Mother Jones

Post election Americans are pessimistic about the future, most pundits, philosophers, and professors agree that the outlook looks bleak.

But you don’t have to look at academia, mainstream punditry, or the sermons of mainline clerics to deduce that our destiny is dystopian. Consider the hordes of people making appointments for vasectomies and tubal ligations at Planned Parenthood.

Citizens are dejected, demoralized, and depressed to the point that they are thinking twice about bringing children into this dreadful world.

Can you blame Americans for reconsidering whether to have children, when Trump considers the existential threat of climate change a hoax? Can you blame people for not wanting to procreate when the American Dream has turned into a nightmare with home ownership out of reach? Can you blame citizens for not wanting to have offspring with wars raging in the Middle East and Ukraine that could easily ignite Armageddon? Nero fiddled while Rome burned, Trump will dance to YMCA while mushroom clouds sprout all over the world.

If I were a young man, I would get a vasectomy and seek a life partner who has a birth control implant, and we would adopt.

Happy New Year!

My Annal Mariah Carey Christmas Essay

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Hate me if you will, but I will once again post my annual Mariah Carey Christmas essay:

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, everywhere you go. There’s a slightly inebriated Santa at the local mall, a Salvation Army bell ringer soliciting spare change outside the Dollar General, giant inflated Santas promoting kitsch, and Mariah Carey’s “All I want for Christmas is You” blaring from every radio, stereo and public address system. And of course, it once again occupies its exalted place at No. 1 of Billboard’s Top 100 Holiday songs.

Evangelicals have never held so much political power at a time when America has never been more secular. It’s not the Christmas hymns of yore that resonate with Americans, but the secular chestnuts of recent vintage like “Last Christmas” by Wham, “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” by the Jackson Five, and of course “All I Want for Christmas is You” by the Queen of Christmas.

Mariah has supplanted the Virgin Mary as the most revered female of the Christmas season. The mother of Jesus, being a virgin, simply cannot compete with the playful sensuality and unbridled joy manifest in all of Carey’s musical catalog, especially “All I Want…”

I take my duty as an ambassador for the Queen of Christmas seriously, by having her iconic Xmas song playing in repeat on all my audio devices, by sending Mariah memes to all my friends and enemies and by continuing my tradition of writing my annual Mariah Christmas essay.

Mariah Carey – All I Want For Christmas Is You (Official Video)

‘Brain Rot’ Oxford Dictionary Word of the Year

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“Brain rot is the Oxford dictionaries’ word of the year.

Oxford defines brain rot as ‘the supposed deterioration of a person’s mental or intellectual state, especially viewed as the result of overconsumption of material, now particularly online content.”

Associated Press

Everything about living in a technologically addicted society induces brain rot, but nothing more so than social media.

In the halcyon days of the internet, cats, porn, social media, and news sites waxed supreme. Cats and porn still reign supreme, but social media platforms have degenerated into toxic cesspools dominated by trolls, bots and AI generated misinformation. TikTok, the world’s most popular social media platform lends itself to silly dance videos, dangerous fads and influencers who are adept at cultivating brain rot. Consuming social media is responsible for more brain rot than Bobby Kennedy Jr’s brain worm.

Politics, in the age of Donald Trump, has dropped the nation’s IQ to room temperature. Trump’s stock-in-trade is chaos and buffoonery, and his cabinet of clowns, charlatans and creeps has rendered us in a terminal case of brain rot. I can feel my brain cells rotting whenever I interact with any MAGA cultist.

 Cell phones may or may not cause brain cancer, but there’s no doubt that they cause brain rot. When we are connected with our phones, we are disconnected from real life, and our brains starve from failure to connect and be stimulated by real people.

The only cure from brain rot is less screen time and less exposure to Trump.

Trump Will Meet the Same Fate as the Biblical Samson

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Christian Nationalist evangelical pastor Rob McCoy believes that twice impeached, thrice married and a gazillion times indicted Donald Trump was anointed by God to lead a sinful nation. He compares the disgraced former and future president to the biblical Samson, whom he characterizes as a flawed individual used by the Almighty to accomplish His will.

I cannot argue with McCoy’s description of America as a sinful nation. The United States is as sinful as the Germany of the late 1930’s that allowed a sociopath to gain ultimate power by promising to restore the greatest of a Germany diminished and demoralized by the humiliating armistice that ended World War I. Hitler’s Third Reich ended with Europe in ruins, and Germany completed destroyed. You do not have to be a political science major or a historian to read the writing on the wall — the Trump regime will end with our democracy in ruins.

The German church was complicit in the rise of Hitler to power, and the white evangelical church in America has served as the vanguard to restoring Trump to power.

The Samson of the Bible was not a heroic figure, he was a monster who attached torches to the tails of 300 foxes to burn Philistine crops and a bloodthirsty warrior who used a donkey’s jawbone to massacre 1,000 Philistines.

Likewise, Trump is not a heroic figure, his incompetence and rank stupidity during the COVID pandemic resulted in the needless death of hundreds of thousands.

Samson came to an ignominious end pushing apart the pillars of a Philistine banquet hall, killing himself and 3,000 Philistines.

Samson derived his power from his long luxurious locks and Trump derives his infamy from his wispy urine-colored hair. Trump’s reign will come to an ignominious end also, with the destruction of our democracy, and quite possibly in nuclear Armageddon.