Month: June 2024

Joe Biden Needs to Replace Kamala Harris with the Hawk Tuah Girl

Before the June 14, 2004, debate, the presidential race was a dead heat. But after Joe Biden’s epic face-plant a tectonic shift took place, and now the decent but senile gentleman Joe Biden is destined to lose in a landslide to the indecent, crude, vulgar, vindictive, and amoral sociopath, Donald Trump.

After Biden’s pathetic performance in the debate that proved beyond a doubt that he is incapable of answering questions without stammering, losing his train of thought and blanking out, Americans are convinced that he’s incapable of serving as president. In fact, we are left wondering if he can wipe his behind without covering his hand with feces. If Jill does not supervise his bathroom breaks, he might even eat his own poop.

Biden is too selfish and stubborn to step down for the good of the country, so what can be done to save our democracy being overthrown by Trump?

You don’t have to be an expert in interpreting actuarial tables to discern that Biden’s days are numbered. After witnessing his godawful debate performance, I wouldn’t be surprised if he croaks before the election.

Joe Biden selected Kamala Harris because of her gender and race, never mind that she’s totally lacking in charisma, and likeability. Harris is the ebony equivalent of Hillary Clinton: a universally despised politician with a penchant for cackling like a witch on crack.

The Biden/Harris ticket will lose in a landslide; I repeat my question: what can the Democrats do to reverse their fortunes?

Kick Harris to the curb and replace her with the most famous and universally loved woman in the world. And no, I’m not talking about Michelle Obama or Oprah Winfrey, the woman that I have in mind is more popular than these two women combined.

We all know that Biden will soon be dead and that in effect his vice president will be the next president, and if he replaces Kamala Harris with the Hawk Tuah Girl, the Democratic ticket will win in a landslide.

Hailey Welch, universally known as The Hawk Tuah Girl went viral when she was featured in a man-on-the-street interview from content creators Tim & Dee TV. In the video, she’s asked “What’s one move in bed that makes a man go crazy every time?” Her response was internet gold, and it instantly made her more famous than Taylor Swift, and more respected and admired than the Virgin Mary.

Her response was to say “ You gotta give him that Hawk Tuah, and spit on that thang”, and she imitated spitting on a man’s private parts.

The Hawk Tuah Girl did not come across as vulgar or nasty, her youthful exuberance, innocence, and joie de vivre reminded us of a Snow White or a Doris Day.

The Hawk Tuah Girl video was only a couple of minutes long, but in those few seconds she uttered a few pearls of wisdom, culminating in her Hawk Tuah demonstration. Imagine how she would shine in a debate with whatever MAGA creep Trump chooses as his running mate.

Hawk Tuah Girl for President of the United States!

Biden’s Dreadful Debate Has Doomed His Reelection Bid

My thoughts on last night’s debate:

Donald Trump did not engage in conventional debate preparation like participating in mock debates. He relied on his innate ability to adlib, and he spoke simply, albeit crazily in a manner that resonated with his deluded supporters.

The stable genius’ lack of debate preparation was manifest in his answers which were bereft of nuance and detail. His replies to the straightforward questions posed by the moderators had almost nothing to do with the topic at hand, instead his used his allotted two minutes per question to ramble incoherently about his favorite topics and conspiracy theories, namely immigration, crime and the “rigged” 2020 election.

But I give the former president credit for dialing down his rhetoric a couple of notches, Debate Trump was not as wacky and inflammatory as Maga Rally Trump. His replies were lacking in substance and insight, but he scored points with his forceful and confident delivery.

Liberal critics complained that the pathological liar’s false claims were not fact-checked in real time by the moderators. But it was an impossible task for the moderators to fact-check him when virtually every utterance that emanated from his sphincter-shaped mouth was a lie.

Trump’s debate performance was uneven and lackluster, but compared to Joe Biden’s dreadful performance, he was Reaganesque. The octogenarian’s performance was an unmitigated disaster. The 81-year-old incumbent had one job, and one job only, prove to a skeptical electorate that he still possessed the mental acuity to serve another term. He failed. Miserably.

From the moment he gingerly and tentatively walked to his podium, he looked defeated, downcast and disoriented. His raspy and barely audible voice, deer-in-the headlight stare, inability to complete a sentence and frequent loss of train of thought were enough to convince even the most diehard supporter that he is mentally unfit to be president.

At one point Biden froze for a few seconds, his apologists can’t explain this disturbing cognitive fail as a cheap fake. Biden is a dead man walking, he isn’t low-energy Joe, he’s rigor mortis Joe.

Presidential debates have a history of candidates having one viral moment that sabotages their performance, witness Gerald Ford’s “Free Poland” gaffe. But it wasn’t one mistake that doomed Biden, the entire evening was dominated by his incoherence, mental instability and inability to respond with a cogent thought.

I am a progressive who thinks that Trump is the worst president in history, who will destroy our democracy if he returns to power. The Democratic Party has a deep bench with many potential candidates like California Governor Gavin Newsome who would have no problem defeating Trump. It is tragic that we are burdened with a senile candidate, as evidenced by his horrific debate performance, who will lose to Trump.

If Trump is Human Garbage, why is the Presidential Race a Dead Heat?

When the presumptive Republican presidential nominee is a thrice-married, twice impeached felon, failed insurrectionist, pathological liar, cognitively-challenged serial sexual assaulter of women, miscreant who has been convicted of rape and fraud in civil trials, sociopathic personality with delusions of being a dictator, you’d think the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee would be miles ahead in the polls even if he was a wilted head of cabbage.

Certainly Democrats, Independents and even Republicans should vote for Joe Biden, right?

But Donald Trump and Joe Biden are in a dead heat in the national polls, and Trump is ahead in most of the swing states.

Why? Dear God, why?

Donald Trump is not only the undisputed leader of the GOP, but he is also the messiah of the MAGA cult, and his disciples have an excuse or a conspiracy theory for all of his grievous faults.

Pathological Liar? Lies, what lies? Every utterance that emanates from their Orange Messiah’s sphincter-shaped mouth is an alternative fact accepted as the Gospel truth by his disciples.

Cognitively challenged? Whatcha talkin’ about Willis? Trump is a stable genius who has aced a couple of cognitive tests! He’s an eloquent speaker and if the publishing world wasn’t controlled by commies and lesbians, hundreds of his pearls of wisdom would be included in Barlett’s Familiar Quotations.

Felon? His sycophants think he was framed just like Jesus Christ! The Justice System was weaponized against their Dear Leader. Trump considers his felony convictions as badges of honor!

Failed Insurrectionist? The 2020 election was rigged, and the patriotic hero was just trying to stop the steal.

Sociopath? MAGA wingnuts think that the heartless billionaire feels their pain, they think he’s as empathetic as Jesus.

The MAGA cultists are convinced that Trump will win in a landslide, and that Trump will lose only if the election is once again rigged.

Trump: ‘I Love the Ten Commandments

“I LOVE THE TEN COMMANDMENTS IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS, PRIVATE SCHOOLS, AND MANY OTHER PLACES, FOR THAT MATTER. READ IT — HOW CAN WE, AS A NATION, GO WRONG??? THIS MAY BE, IN FACT, THE FIRST MAJOR STEP IN THE REVIVAL OF RELIGION, WHICH IS DESPERATELY NEEDED, IN OUR COUNTRY. BRING BACK TTC!!! MAGA2024,”

Donald Trump Truth Social Post

Trump’s post expressing his undying love for the Ten Commandments came after Louisiana Governor Jeff Landy signed legislation this week that requires the display of the Ten Commandments in every public classroom in the state.

The thrice-married, twice-impeached and multi-indicted former president regularly breaks the commandments. He does not think the rule of law applies to himself, nor any divine precepts.

Trump’s endorsements are worth their weight in gold, and if the pathological liar and serial sexual predator gives his blessing to the ten injunctions, his MAGA cultists will interpret his approval as marching orders to lobby for the Decalogue to be posted in every classroom in America.

The Louisiana law does not pass constitutional muster, it violates the establishment clause of the U.S. Constitution, and it will eventually be overturned. But in the meantime, the Orange Messiah will strengthen his evangelical support by calling for the law of Moses to be posted in public schools.

Trump treats the Bible as a political prop and as a money raising tool, witness his $59.99 God Bless the USA Bible. It will not be long before a Trump endorsed poster of the Ten Commandments is available for $29.99 on his web site. His edition of the Ten Commandments might include some revisions. For example: Thou shall not commit adultery, unless thy wife is disgustingly pregnant, and then thou will have a dispensation to commit fornication with a porn star.

Trump is the Antithesis of a Macho Man

The evangelical movement is a patriarchy, and male leaders thunder a machismo Gospel of American Exceptionalism from the pulpits and females meekly give assent with bowed heads from their cushioned pews. The fair sex keeps quiet in the churches but are permitted to exclaim the Lord’s name or their husband’s name in the bedroom in the throes of climax, but not loud enough to awaken their innocent children.

Trump’s moral degeneracy, cognitive decline and physical deterioration are emblematic of a weak and pitiful man. Trump’s sphincter-shaped mouth, pot belly, triple chin, doll hands, and puny mushroom-shaped penis, is a far cry from the masculine ideal or the Macho Man praised by the Village People.

But evangelicals are enthralled by their larger-than-life Messiah, they consider him the epitome of virility and masculinity. They reason that if King Solomon had seven hundred wives, and three hundred concubines, their hero is entitled to have affairs with porn stars and trysts with Russian hookers specializing in golden showers.

Evangelicals consider Trump a real man, because he asserts power and dominance over liberals, RINO’s, and especially over progressive women of color. In their brainwashed minds, he is a Superhero who will destroy their enemies by any means necessary and will usher in a thousand-year White Christian Reich.

Trump is a wimp, and his followers are weak-willed morons who will crawl back into their holes when we defeat their messiah for the final time this November.

Trump Prompts Evangelical Congregation to Shout ‘Bullshit’

“Cries of “Bullshit!” “Bullshit” rang out at a packed Phoenix megachurch June 6 as Donald Trump held his first campaign rally since his conviction on 34 felonies in New York.

As for Biden’s recent executive order limiting immigration? Trump told the crowd at Phoenix Dream Center, an Assemblies of God congregation, that it was ‘bullshit.’

‘They come up with this order,’ he said. ‘I won’t say it, because I don’t like using the word ‘bullshit’ in front of these people.’”

Baptist News Global

Evangelical congregations, especially Assemblies of God churches, aren’t shy about shouting “Amen” and “Hallelujah” as a means of encouraging their pastors to continue preaching Biblical truths and holy living. It was considered anathema for a parishioner to whisper even a mild swear word like “damn” in a temple.

Pentecostal churches place an emphasis on what they consider holy behavior, which certainly rules out shouting obscenities in a house of worship. At least that was the way things were pre-Trump.

But when evangelicals embrace a pathological liar, serial sexual predator, indicted criminal, and twice-impeached sociopath as their messiah, anything goes. It is par for the course to shout “bullshit” in a church when you worship a steaming pile of shit like Donald Trump.

I am not surprised at all that when Trump incited crowd at a crowed evangelical megachurch to utter a swear word, cries of “bullshit” rang out in the sanctuary.

Trump’s cult of evangelical sycophants should be showered with shouts of “bullshit” whenever they leave their tabernacles of evil and try to blend in with normal folks.

Why Is There a Gideon Bible in Every Hotel Room?

When people check into the “hotel, motel, Holiday Inn” they test the free Wi-Fi, review the premium channels, stash their valuables in the room safe, and then open the drawers to see if a previous guest left behind a watch or jewelry, only to find a Gideon’s Bible.

It is incongruous to find a Bible in a motel room, a lodging house is not a rectory, and for every minister or nun who checks into a motel room, there are a thousand libertines, and the last thing they need is a Bible.

It does not take a rocket scientist or a concierge to read the room and to deduce that Holy Scriptures are the last thing on the mind of lovers checking into a hotel or motel room. Might I suggest a copy of the Kuma Sutra might be more appropriate? Or a condom or a pamphlet explaining safe sex practices?

I have never checked into a motor inn and discovered a well-worn Bible, most guest do not open the Good Book, they do not read a single verse. An immense waste of money, why not just leave a religious tract with the address and phone number of a local church, for the convenience of the married guests who feel guilty after engaging in a tryst with a stranger?

Tony Evans Resigns from Church after 48 Years Over ‘Sin’ He Committed Years Ago

“When we fall short of that standard due to sin, we are required to repent and restore our relationship with God. A number of years ago, I fell short of that standard. I am, therefore, required to apply the same biblical standard of repentance and restoration to myself that I have applied to others.”

Dr. Tony Evans

After 48 years of preaching, evangelical pastor Dr. Tony Evans is calling it quits at his church because of a “sin” he committed years ago.

Rev. Evans is an African American evangelical minister, and like most Black evangelicals he does not indulge in any of the most reprehensible sins of white evangelicals: the demonization of immigrants, the deification of Donald Trump, the dissemination of false conspiracy theories. the degradation of women and the denouncement of pro-lifers.

Unlike most white evangelical leaders who admit to their followers that they have sinned, Evans did not indulge in any histrionics, he did not weep uncontrollably and plead with the Almighty to forgive him like a Jimmy Swaggart.

He simply released a statement to his congregation saying he was stepping down, without providing any lurid details of his transgression.

He emphasized that he did not commit any crime, but he did not use “righteous judgment” in his actions.

I take Evans at his word that he did not commit any crimes, therefore I really do not care what sins he committed.

This is a textbook example of how a minister should act when he sins: admit your sin, and accept there will be consequences for your misdeeds, hopefully culminating in resignation.

Although, I do wonder why he is just now resigning over a sin that he committed years ago.

Rudy Guiliani Calls Fani Willis a ‘Ho’

Thrice-divorced and twice-indicted raging alcoholic Rudolph Guiliani is a regular speaker on the ReAwaken America Tour, a Christian nationalist, MAGA traveling circus trying to reclaim America for Jesus Christ and trying to return Donald Trump to the White House.

The pious and pragmatic evangelicals overlook the fact that America’s Mayor of Crazy Town is a drunk Catholic who is facing disbarment in Washington, DC, because he is a true believer in the MAGA cult who has dedicated his life to fluffing Trump and kissing his ass. For dutifully fluffing Trump’s tiny pecker and licking his huge ass, he is a saint in the MAGA cult.

Guiliani was a featured speaker when the ReAwaken America Tour made a stop at Grace Christian Church just outside of Detroit. In an expletive-laden speech from the pulpit, he called the Fulton County, Georgia, District Attorney Fani Willis a “ho” stunning the crowd into a stunned silence.

Just kidding, the crowd erupting into a frenzy of cheers and holy laughter. Nothing excites evangelicals more than when a MAGA leader insults a Democrat, especially if it’s a female minority.

After Giuliani finished his diatribe conference organizer Clay Clark begged the attendees and the livestream viewers to donate money to Giuliani’s defense fund.

I’m sure that most of the evangelicals in attendance donated money, but WWJD? I’m sure that Jesus would say “Fuck this shit”, I’m not giving that drunkard a dime, but I just may smite him with leprosy.

Biden and Trump: Incontinent and Cranky Clowns Making Mockery of Our Presidential Election

A video of Joe Biden at the 80th anniversary of the D-Day invasion in Normandy has gone viral. The footage depicts the octogenarian commander-in-chief shaking hands with French President Emmanuel Macron, and then turning away and bending slightly, as if trying to sit down or as if he is digesting the fact that he just shit his pants in front of a world-wide viewing audience.

This disturbing video comes just days after the Donald Trump hush money trial featured the disgraced former president poisoning the court room with uncontrollable bouts of flatulence.

When a 78-year-old former president challenges an incumbent 81-year-old president it shouldn’t come as any surprise that that media coverage and political commercials will focus on droopy drawers and stinky farts.

Joe Biden and Donald Trump should reside in a nursing home where nobody will bat an eye if either one shits his pants or rips a loud and stinky fart. But we shouldn’t be expected to tolerate our president soiling his pants in a solemn occasion or a former president falling asleep in court and farting like nobody’s business.

I’m tired of this shit, the greatest democracy in the world shouldn’t put up with two incontinent senile presidential candidates.

Desperate Bob Good Hopes Trump Will Rescind His Endorsement of his Opponent John McGuire

“In an open letter to Trump sent Thursday afternoon and obtained by Politico, 25 Republican officials in Virginia’s 5th Congressional District — including Rick Buchanan, chair of the district’s Republican Congressional Committee — ‘strongly’ urged Trump to reconsider his endorsement of Rep. Bob Good’s opponent state Sen. John McGuire, in the Republican Primary.”

Politico

In late May 2024 Donald Trump, the presumptive Republican Presidential nominee and MAGA messiah, endorsed state Sen. John J. McGuire over incumbent Rep. Bob Good in the GOP primary battle for Virginia’s 5th Congressional District seat, thereby dooming any chance Good had of retaining his seat.

“Bob Good is BAD FOR VIRGINIA, AND BAD FOR THE USA,” Trump posted on Truth Social. “He turned his back on our incredible movement, and was constantly attacking and fighting me until recently, when he gave a warm and ‘loving’ Endorsement — But really, it was too late.”

Political endorsements are meaningless, they disappear into the ether as soon as they are uttered, but Trump’s endorsements are worth their weight in gold. Trump’s MAGA base accepts as the Gospel truth every word that emanates from his sphincter-shaped mouth, and a Trump endorsement is perceived as a mandate to be obeyed.

Since his original endorsement of McGuire on May 28, 2024, Trump has doubled down and accused Good of stabbing him on the back.

Good is so desperate that he convinced his cronies to beg Trump to rescind his endorsement, but that is not going to happen. A deity does not change his mind, and Trump will never forgive Good for endorsing Ron DeSantis. 

Trump Talks About His Relationship With God

“A viewer asked Trump during a fawning Fox & Friends interview over the weekend, ‘What’s your relationship with God like, and how do you pray?’

‘OK, so I think it is good,’ Trump replied. ‘I do very well with the evangelicals. I love the evangelicals. And I have more people saying they pray for me ― I can’t even believe it. They are so committed, and they are so believing. They say, ‘Sir, you’re going to be OK. I pray for you every night.’ I mean, everybody, almost ― I can’t say everybody, but almost everybody that sees me, they say it.’”

Yahoo News

The first think that grabs my attention is that Trump supporters are so gullible and clueless that they think that a sociopath who’s a serial sexual assaulter of women, a pathological liar, a failed insurrectionist and a wannabe dictator has a relationship with God.

I bet the Fox News viewer who posed this fawning and ridiculous question is a white evangelical who thinks his Orange Messiah has a direct line to the Almighty.

Trump gushed over how believing (re: gullible) evangelicals are and how committed they are to him. They accept every absurdity, obscenity and lie that emanates from his sphincter-shaped mouth as the Gospel truth.

Trump is an egotistical narcissist who doesn’t believe in God, any belief in a deity or a code of ethics would conflict with his achieve success by any means necessary mentality.

I give Trump credit for deflecting the question, and not even pretending that he prays or has a relationship with God.

White evangelicals will focus on his claim that he loves them, and to them that’s proof that he’s God’s anointed.

Runaway Trump Bus on Way to MAGA Rally Crashes into Utility Pole

A bus on its way to a Trump rally in Staten Island crashed into a utility pole. The vehicle was festooned with religious signs and messages including a sign that said “Trust Jesus.”

I hate to disappoint my readers, but the bus was empty; the parked bus rolled down until it crashed into the pole.

If a runaway Trump bus was headed straight to a pole, I wonder if the Trump cultists would cry out to Jesus or Trump to save them.

Jesus is kind and merciful and He’s dropping a hint that maybe people who call themselves Christians shouldn’t attend a blasphemous, obscene and downright evil MAGA rally.

But I am sure that the Trump cultists just made other plans to attend the rally, neither hell nor high water nor a divine message will keep them from attending a satanic MAGA rally.

I guess Jesus didn’t take the wheel.

This accident, that coincidentally happened after Trump was declared guilty, is a perfect metaphor for the Trump campaign.

Evangelical Lifeguard Sues for Being Stationed Near Pride Flag!

“An Evangelical Christian lifeguard is suing the Los Angeles County Fire Department, claiming religious discrimination after he was allegedly punished for refusing to fly an LGBT pride flag at his beachside lifeguard facility last summer.

Jeffrey Little, who has served Los Angeles County for 22 years, declined to hoist the Progress Pride flag at his lifeguard facility in Pacific Palisades at Will Rogers Beach, which includes a stretch called Ginger Rogers Beach that is frequented by the gay community.”

Christian Post

Little wants his employer to make an “accommodation” for him, because the pride flag at his beachside lifeguard facility offends his tender sensibilities. America is a secular, religiously and ethnically diverse democracy, and it is incumbent upon Little to accommodate himself to diverse political, religious symbols in public places.

Little works as a lifeguard in a gay-friendly beach, I wonder if he would hesitate to save a man who was drowning if he was wearing swimming trunks emblazoned with the Pride flag?

If Little wants to feel safe and comfortable then he should never leave the confines of his evangelical church, where the Christian, American and Israeli flags are proudly displayed. Little can comfort himself with the belief that the rainbow is Jehovah’s promise never to commit genocide again by drowning everyone in the world except for Noah and his family. But in the real world the rainbow-striped Pride flag is a symbol of pride for the LGBTQ community.

Cretins like Little are vastly outnumbered by multitudes of Americans, of all political and religious persuasions, who proudly fly the Pride flag. June is Pride month, and the Pride flag is proudly displayed in cities and towns all over this great country.