Month: February 2021

Trump Golden Calf Statue on Sale for $1000,000 at CPAC

Trumpalooza, also known as CPAC ends Sunday with a rousing speech by the star of the extravaganza, Donald Trump. It’s the annual conference during which conservatives come together to network, discuss policies, showcase presidential hopefuls, and chart the course for the future of the conservative movement. This year’s iteration of the conference is dedicated solely to the glorification of the false messiah, Donald Trump.

No festival would be complete without overpriced merchandise, and CPAC is no different. All things Trump are available at CPAC including hand-crafted luxury Trump hammocks, 2024 Trump bumper stickers, impeachment champ T-Shirts and “don’t me I voted for Trump” buttons. I bet the average Trump evangelical cultist would rather browse in the gift shops at CPAC featuring Trump paraphernalia than walk the streets of gold in heaven with Jesus Christ.

But what do you get the Trump devotee who already has all the aforementioned Trump items including the hammock?

The bizarre gold statue of the disgraced former president, that has been the runaway hit of the conference, is on sale for a cool $1000,000. The golden idol weighs 200 pounds, almost as much as the blimp it represents.

Are you a white evangelical POS who idolizes Trump? Do you think your messiah’s farts smell like heavenly incense? Do you worship the ground he walks on? Then don’t leave CPAC with a lousy T-Shirt! Demonstrate you reverence for your Dear Leader by purchasing the Trump Golden Calf idol! Take out a second mortgage if that’s the only way you can afford the abomination.

Trump Golden Calf Statue Worshiped at CPAC

Republican politicians, conservative media personalities and activists are gathering in Florida for the annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC).

Former President Donald Trump will be the headliner of the show in Orlando, delivering a Sunday afternoon speech, in which he is expected to tease a 2024 presidential run and continue to preach the Big Lie that the 2020 presidential election was stolen from him.

All the preliminary speakers are expected to minor on conservative policy positions and to major on the magnificence of their false messiah. CPAC should be renamed TPAC, considering that this political conference isn’t intended to advance the conservative agenda but glorify Donald Trump.

Trump acolytes constructed a golden statue of Trump and wheeled it out to cheers from conference attendees. Reminiscent of the Biblical story of the Golden Calf, is it not? Even people who are biblically illiterate are familiar with the story of the Golden Calf. The Israelites, newly freed from Egyptian slavery, angry and impatient that Moses is taking to long talking with Jehovah on Mount Sinai melt down their golden jewelry to construct a golden calf to worship.

The party of Abraham Lincoln and Ronald Reagan is now the party of Trump, and the Republican platform has been replaced by the Trump cult of personality.

White evangelicals who make up the largest part of Trump’s base abandoned their commitment to the Biblical principles of honesty, integrity, propriety, and morality and embraced a devil whose speech, behavior and actions are antithetical to the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Jehovah punished the faithless Israelites by making them wander for 40 years in the wilderness, and the political gods will punish the Republicans’ embrace of Trump by making them wander in the political wilderness of defeat and irrelevance for generations.

ForeverSpin Spinning Top a Perfect Toy for a Child of Any Age

I’m a baby boomer and every day my aching body reminds me that my best days are behind me. In my old age I have my dreams and memories of my halcyon days to sustain me.

Some of us old-timers spend thousands on buying and restoring the muscle cars of our youth to invigorate us in our waning years. I owned a 66 Mustang in the prime of my youth, if that automobile has been restored and is still on the road its odometer matches the numbers of miles I have traveled on my life’s journey.

I can’t afford to purchase a vintage automobile or a mechanical pinball machine to remind me of my wayward youth but buying the toys of my childhood are within my financial means.

On of my favorite childhood toys was a spinning top, in an innocent age when video games and the Internet existed only in science fiction books and magazines, simple toys like a spinning top or a Frisbee kept us entertained for hours.

I will soon be receiving a ForeverSpin spinning top in the mail and I am absolutely ecstatic. There is nothing more therapeutic, soothing, and relaxing than watching a top spin. A top spins away the years and takes me back to the carefree days of my youth.

Description of ForeverSpin spinning tops from ForeverSpin.Com:

“ForeverSpin spinning tops are made out of nothing but the purest and highest-quality metals. This metal is formed into solid billets and moved to a state-of-the-art facility where each top is CNC-machined on a lathe in one operation to achieve an incredible degree of precision. After years of research, hundreds of prototypes, and relentless dedication to mastering the creation of spinning tops, we continue the pursuit of perfection.”

Thanks, ForeverSpin!

People Who Wear Glasses Are Three Times Less Likely to Catch COVID-19

I’ve worn glasses since elementary school and if I had a dime for every time, I was called four-eyes I would be a millionaire. Wearing glasses has been a handicap all my life, men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses and women give men who wear glasses a wide berth. I’m now a senior citizen and almost all my contemporaries wear corrective lenses, and still, nobody makes a pass at me. Hmm, maybe it wasn’t the glasses.

In the age of the global coronavirus pandemic there’s finally a silver lining for those of us who wear spectacles. According to a non-peer reviewed study published on the website medRxiv, people who wear glasses could be up to three times less likely to be infected by the coronavirus.

The virus can enter the body by people touching their eyes, nose, or mouth after coming into contact with it.

However, the study suggests people who wear glasses rub their eyes less and are therefore at less risk of contracting COVID-19.

These days I’m glad women give this four-eyed old geezer a wide berth, I don’t want to catch the virus from them. My glasses make me feel special knowing that I am three times less likely to catch COVID-19 than folks who don’t wear them.

Rush Limbaugh is Dead and I’m Unapologetically Dancing on His Grave

“Don’t speak ill of the dead” is a maxim that’s universally recognized as a basic rule of conduct. Even when a tyrant or dictator dies, we’re expected to maintain a modicum of decorum and refrain from dancing on the dearly departed’s grave.

Well, I call bullshit on that tired old proverb, that ain’t how we roll in the 21st century. When Trump bites the bullet, I’m going to dance the Macarena on his grave.

I’m glad to see that many in the media share my mindset, when the quintessential shock jock Rush Limbaugh finally succumbed to terminal cancer the Huffington Post’s headline screamed: “BIGOT, MISOGYNIST, HOMOPHOBE, CRANK: RUSH LIMBAUGH DEAD.” Twitter was even less restrained, they metaphorically danced and pissed on his grave.

It is a mortal sin to mourn the passing of a millionaire who reeked of white privilege and who was contemptuous of religious and racial minorities, and the poor and disenfranchised. I don’t care what deity you worship, I’m sure He will give you a dispensation to mark the death of Limbaugh by criticizing the vile creature and everything he represented.

For decades Limbaugh viciously mocked gay AIDS victims, feminists, immigrants and just about everyone else who wasn’t a white Christian conservative. He dedicated the last days of his life undermining democracy by ardently promoting the false conspiracy theory that Joe Biden stole the 2020 election from Donald Trump.

As a poor progressive Hispanic, I represent the person that Limbaugh attacked mercilessly for decades, and upon his death all I can say is: Fuck you Limbaugh, I hope you rot in hell.

Outrage: Newsmax Anchor Greg Kelly Disses Joe Biden’s Dog Champ

Newsmax is such an ultra-conservative cable news outlet that it makes Fox News seem like the Daily Kos, and the reactionary anchors never miss an opportunity to diss Biden.

Newsmax anchor Greg Kelly ridiculed the appearance of President Joe Biden’s dog Champ on his program.

“Did you see the dog?” Kelly asked, referring to Champ. “Doesn’t he look a little, uh, a little rough? I love dogs, but this dog needs a bath and a comb and all kinds of love and care. I’ve never seen a dog in the White House like this.”

Kelly then compared Champ to Buddy, former President Clinton’s Labrador retriever, and Millie, former President George H.W. Bush’s English springer spaniel.

“I remember Buddy. I remember Millie. I remember lots of dogs but not a dog who seems — I don’t know. I don’t know how much love and care he is getting,” Kelly said.

I love dogs and I also remember Buddy and Millie, but I don’t remember any pooches in the Trump White House. There’s a million and one reasons to hate Trump: his racism, misogyny, fascism, incompetence, pettiness … But the fact that he doesn’t like pets means that he is completely beyond redemption.

Instead of commenting on the pathology of a person who doesn’t like pets, Kelly mocks the appearance of a beautiful 12-year-old senior rescue dog. The Bidens love their dogs, it’s not uncommon to see them walking their beautiful pets on the White House grounds.

If Newsmax’s CEO had a shred of integrity Kelly would be in the doghouse for libeling Champ, and by extension his owners.

It’s patently obvious that the only dog Kelly likes is the filthy mongrel Donald Trump.

Melania Has No Love for Her Orange Valentine

Melania Trump, the most famous trophy wife in American political history, may no longer see any financial benefit to staying married to her epic failure of a businessman husband who has loans close to half a billion dollars due in the next couple of years. I’m betting that she will soon go from the White House to Mar-a-Lago to her own New York penthouse.

It’s noteworthy that Melania posted two Valentine’s Day messages over the weekend, but neither mentioned her orange valentine, disgraced President Donald Trump.

The former first lady used both Twitter posts to highlight past visits to children in hospitals, including the Children’s Inn, “a place for seriously ill children, young adults, and their families seeking their last best hope for a cure.” A noble sentiment, but Valentine’s isn’t about sick children, world peace or finding a cure for cancer, it’s all about gushing over how much you love your significant partner.

Witness President Joe Biden’s mushy tweet to his beloved wife, Jill:  a photo of the couple embracing with the cation: The love of my life and the life of my love. Happy Valentine’s Day, Jilly. Dr. Biden for her part erected giant hearts on the White House lawn expressing her love for her Valentine.

The electorate kicked Trump to the curb, he lost the popular vote by seven million votes, and the electoral college vote to Biden 306 to 232. Soon he will lose his gold-digger wife; I wouldn’t be surprised if Melania sent a mushy Valentine’s Day card to a bachelor billionaire.

The Biden Family Bringing Normal Back to the White House

President Joe Biden received a touching gift from his grandchildren just in time for Presidents Day on Monday. Naomi Biden, the 27-year-old granddaughter of Biden posted a pic of the gift on social media. The proud grandfather can be seen wearing a tan baseball cap embroidered with the presidential seal. Above and below the emblem, the cap reads, “Presidential Retreat, Camp David’, the back reads “Pop.”

Joe Biden is obviously adored by his grandchildren, what a marked contrast from the dysfunctional Trump crime family. I’ve never seen any photos of Trump playing with his grandchildren, and I doubt if he would recognize Tiffany Trump if she visited him at Mar-a-Lago.

The presidential seal emblazoned on the cap symbolizes the gravitas of the office that Biden occupies and the respect that he commands, and “Pop” represents his humanity.

I see red whenever I see Trump or any of his cultists wearing the read MAGA cap, but I felt a sense of relief when I saw the pic of Biden wearing the tan cap. The color tan speaks to the sense of calmness that Biden has brought to the presidency after the four years of chaos and just plain fuckery of the Trump regime.

In the first weeks of the Biden administration, we have witnessed the first couple holding hands and walking their dogs, kissing, and hugging each other, and now this image of Joe beaming as he proudly wears the baseball cap his grandchildren gave him.

Thank God we have a normal family back in the White House.

The PDA’s Between Joe Biden and Dr. Jill Biden are Sweet and Heartwarming!

Donald and Melania Trump were infamous for their PDA’s (Public Displays of Animosity: the countless times Melania swatted away her husband’s disgusting tiny hands, the frozen stares between the couple, the several times Trump failed to cover Melania with his umbrella …

You don’t have to be a political scientist or a marriage counselor to discern that the Trump’s marriage isn’t a romantic fairy tale but a marriage of convenience. Sparks will rarely fly between a trophy wife and her doddering old husband.

Joe and Jill Biden are infamous for their PDA’s (Public Displays of Affection). Since Inauguration Day, the first couple hasn’t been shy about expressing the love they have for each other.

Joe Biden has been rightly criticized for being too handsy with the spouses and female children of politicians, but at least he’s also very affectionate with his wife of 43 years.

Whether it’s a tender kiss before boarding Marine One or holding hands as they walk their dogs, the love and affection between the Bidens is an expression of their sincere love and it’s a wonder to behold.

The PDA’s between President Biden and Dr. Biden aren’t ostentatious or gratuitous, but heartwarming. They don’t make us cringe, instead they make us smile at delightful display of an elderly couple still in love with each other.

I wish the Bidens a happy Valentine’s Day.

Jill Biden Decorates White House Lawn With Giant Hearts for Valentine’s Day

First lady Dr. Jill Biden decorated the North Lawn of the White House for Valentine’s Day with candy-heart sentiments as a message of hope and healing for Americans.

This simple gesture is a soothing balm for a country recuperating from the four years of Trump administration fuckery.

The Bidens and their two German shepherds, Champ and Major went for an unscheduled stroll to view Dr. Biden’s handiwork, with a pool of reporters and a C-SPAN crew in tow.

Dr. Jill was sensibly dressed for the frigid weather in a long raspberry coat and black boots, and Joe was wearing a black leather jacket and faded jeans. A casually dressed couple, wearing face masks, walking their dogs is the shot of normal behavior that we so desperately need in these troubled times. The fact that this normal couple happens to be the First Couple gives us hope that we may just be able to return to normalcy after four years of chaos.

This heartwarming scene could never have occurred during the Trump administration, the disgraced president didn’t have any pets in the White House, and I doubt he kept any jeans in his closets.

In an interaction with the press the Bidens debated with each other over who loved each other the most. Can you imagine if the Trumps argued about who loved each other the most, the press would break out in laughter.

I’m going to have a terrific Valentine’s Day and a peaceful next four years in the knowledge that Joe and Jill Biden, and Champ and Major are in the White House.

John MacArthur’s Grace Community Church an Existential Threat to Democracy

“Escalating its defiance of Los Angeles County public health orders, an evangelical megachurch in Sun Valley is gearing up to host an indoor conference expected to draw thousands of men from across the country in what officials fear could become a potential superspreader event.

Grace Community Church, whose pastor has preached for the last six months to his congregation of mostly unmasked members that the pandemic is a hoax, is expected to draw at least 3,000 people to its sprawling campus.”

Los Angeles Times

White evangelical Christians and their fanatical loyalty to their autocratic messiah, Donald Trump, are an existential threat to democracy. The January 6, 2020 Insurrection, led by Christian Nationalists, failed to stop the certification of Joe Biden’s landslide victory, but evangelicals still pose a threat to our democracy.

Grace Community Church poses a challenge to the spiritual integrity of the Gospel, a health risk to Los Angeles County, and a threat to the rule of law and order.

The evangelical megachurch is in an area that has the highest case rates of COVID-19 within the county, and neighbors have pleaded with churchgoers to wear masks. But taking their cue from their anti-masker pastor, John MacArthur, parishioners are as likely to wear a mask as racists are likely to wear a yarmulke at a Klan rally.

When church members are challenged to wear a mask to stop the spread of the virus, they are likely to respond with pablum like, “Jesus in my vaccine” or “The Holy Ghost protects me from the coronavirus.” But it’s instructive to note that attendees to the conference are required to sign a liability waiver that included:

“I understand that each activity poses inherent risks of exposure to and/or contracting the COVID-19 virus,” The legal staff of Grace Community Church isn’t relying on the power of the Holy Ghost to protect them from litigation; they don’t want to be liable when some of the maskless idiots succumb to COVID-19.

Although the Supreme Court recently ruled that indoor services are permitted under certain restrictions, a conference where attendees must pay a $300 admission fee doesn’t qualify as a worship service. Christians aren’t special and they aren’t exempt from the rules and laws that apply to everyone else.

The American people had the good sense to vote the racist buffoon Donald Trump out of office, but our work isn’t done. We must continue to expose the racism, hateful spirit, unscientific views and undemocratic tendencies of white evangelicals.

Joe Biden is a Work Horse

“This decrepit old grifter works maybe five hours a day. We traded in a work horse, for someone that belonged out to pasture or sent to a glue factory a long time ago. Nothing says we threw in the towel better than this nauseating image, ‘the commander-in-chief’ can’t even stay awake.”

This is a description of an image that purports to be President Joe Biden asleep at his desk in the Oval Office, it was posted on Facebook and other social media platforms.

Here is a link to the doctored image:

https://archive.is/9WVsM

The photoshopped image was flagged as part of Facebook’s efforts to combat false news and misinformation on its News Feed. This image illustrates just how much work Facebook still needs to do to cleanse its platform from fake news, fake photos, and fake conspiracy theories.

Joe Biden has been working tirelessly since he assumed power to clean up the horseshit left behind by his lazy predecessor, and it would be understandable if he did take a nap in the Oval Office.

The description that accompanies the digitally manipulated image perfectly describes not Joe Biden, but Donald Trump. The disgraced president is a decrepit old grifter who worked maybe five hours a day on his scams when he wasn’t enjoying his executive time.

Joe Biden is the work horse and Trump is a one-trick pony who excels only in grifting. Biden’s work schedule is available online, and it chronicles how Biden is working day and night for the American people:

https://factba.se/biden/calendar

Speaking of nauseating images there are hundreds of nauseating photos of the morbidly obese Trump golfing when he should have been in the Oval Office managing the coronavirus pandemic and dealing with the economic collapse.

Let me end my essay by once again reminding my readers not to rely on social media for news and current events. Stick to reliable and legitimate news sources like CNN, the New York Times, and the Wall Street Journal.

Clueless Arizona State Senator Wants to Name Highway After Donald Trump

Republican state Senator Wendy Rogers wants to name a major state highway in Arizona after former president Donald Trump.

It takes a lot of chutzpah to seek to name a highway after a disgraced twice impeached president. But at least she doesn’t want to name a school after the functionally-illiterate buffoon or a government building after the insurrectionist-in-chief.

But even naming a highway after Trump makes no sense, after all this is the president who seven times during his administration declared an infrastructure week, only to see those plans not come to fruition.

Rogers would be on safer ground naming an outhouse or a dumpster after Trump, that would stand a better chance of becoming law.

Trump was rejected by Arizona voters, and if the measure was put on the ballot, I’m persuaded it would fail to pass.

The bill has been assigned to the Senate Transportation Committee, and hopefully it won’t receive a hearing.

The Saga of the Gorilla Glue Girl Captivates the World

“A Louisiana woman has sought medical treatment after mistakenly using Gorilla Glue spray adhesive in place of actual hair spray.

Tessica Brown’s plight went viral earlier in February after she revealed that her hair had been stuck in the same style for a month since she substituted her usual Got2b Glued spray with the industrial-strength glue when she ran out.

‘My hair, it don’t move. You hear what I’m telling you? It don’t move,’ she said in the original video posted to TikTok.”

CNN

The Gorilla Glue Girl (GGG) joins the Balloon Boy (This incident occurred in 2009 when parents released a balloon shaped to resemble a flying saucer and falsely claimed that their six-year-old son was trapped inside it) in the pantheon of infamous Internet legends.

A six-year-old child can’t be held responsible for the antics of his publicity obsessed parents, however at 40 the GGG is a grown ass woman who is responsible for making herself the laughingstock of the world by posting videos on TickTok chronicling her strange saga.

When the GGG posted her original video on TikTok everybody on social media, even Black Twitter, mercilessly ridiculed her. But when it became clear that she has most likely suffered irreparable harm to her hair and her scalp the tide turned and now most people are expressing sympathy and concern for her self-inflicted predicament.

I’m still in the ridicule the foolish woman mode and will probably never come around to expressing any sincere empathy. I’m sorry but unless you have the mental acuity of a wilted head of cabbage there’s no excuse for using an industrial-strength adhesive because you’re too lazy to go to the store and buy hair spray.

Lessons I hope the GGG has learned:

Always read the label of any product that you consume or apply to any part of your body.

Don’t feel obligated to videos online of every stupid thing you do.

Accept yourself the way you are. Don’t go to extreme lengths to straighten your hair, afros rock!

Having said all that, I send thoughts and prayers to the GGG, and not in an ironic way.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZl9Shsm1tw

QAnon Movement Isn’t Dead, Cultists Believe Trump Will be Sworn in as President March 4, 2021

Donald Trump didn’t succeed in his crusade to overturn the will of the electorate and destroy our democracy and instead he is ensconced in Mar-a-Lago, uncharacteristically quiet after being banned from the most popular social media platforms.

Trump’s insurrection failed to stop the gears of government from certifying Joe Biden’s landslide win and Biden’s inauguration went off without a hitch on January 20, 2021.

Reality utterly demolished QAnon’s false conspiracy theories: Joe Biden is the president; Trump didn’t take down the “satanic deep state pedophile cabal” and the cultists wet dream of mass executions at Biden’s inauguration didn’t materialize.

After being totally discredited you’d think the QAnon movement would die, and the cultists would become atheists or join another cult. Believe it or not, the movement hasn’t completely died out, many followers are now claiming March 4, 2021 as the new significant date. They believe that’s the date when their false messiah will be sworn in as president.

Why March 4? Does it really matter? In a nutshell they believe a law was passed in 1871 secretly turning our democracy into a corporation, and therefore ever president after Ulysses S. Grant is illegitimate. In 1933 the inauguration date was changed from March 4 to January 20, and when Trump is inaugurated on March, he will become the only legitimate president since Grant. Total nonsense of course, but no crazier than their other conspiracy theories.

Like an apocalyptic cult that makes false prophecies after false prophecies about the End of the World, QAnon just keeps coming up with new conspiracy theories. QAnon will be with us for years to come, and it won’t stop poisoning our political system until Republican leaders stop fearing their base and publicly denounce it. Only then will it become as irrelevant as the Flat Earth Society.

Trump Will be Acquitted, But Impeachment Trial Not in Vain

The outcome of Donald Trump’s unprecedented second impeachment trial is preordained, as sure as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west the disgraced former president will be acquitted for inciting a deadly insurrection at the Capitol even though the evidence against him is staggering.

The Democrats prosecuting Trump face an impossible task in persuading at least 17 Republican senators to convict Trump and bar him from any future office. A few days ago, forty-five Republican senators supported an initiative to block the second impeachment trial of Trump; you don’t have to be a constitutional scholar to recognize that’s a pretty good indication of how the final vote will play out.

Republicans are loath to cut the umbilical cord that ties the Man Baby to their party, even though the contaminated blood flowing from Trump to the GOP is killing their party.

Republican senators will be presented with visual and visceral evidence pointing to Trump’s manifest guilt. They will hear Trump in his own words inciting the crowd to march to the Capitol to prevent Congress from certifying the election results.

But the Republican jurors won’t consider facts and evidence in determining the innocence or guilt of Trump. Their main consideration will be not to render a verdict that will turn Trump’s fanatical base against them.

It’s reprehensible that Trump will be acquitted but the impeachment trial will not be in vain, the video footage of the trial will serve as a reminder to future generations of how close we came to losing our democracy. The two impeachments will be a permanent stain on Trump’s record, and a reminder that there were a few statesmen who did everything they could to hold Trump accountable for his many high crimes and misdemeanors.

Greg Kelly’s MCFISH Tale

I just went to a MACDONALD’S and there was no MCFISH on the menu.  When the hell did that happen?  Is it permanently banned? Or is just my “local” MACDONALD’S.  I demanded to see the “manager” but they accused me of being a “MALE KAREN” so i walked out.

Tweet by Newsmax anchor Greg Kelly

What is it with QAnon crackpots and their penchant for misspelling and capitalizing common words? It’s McDonald’s and not MACDONALD’S; Kelly could have spared himself the embarrassment of misspelling the name of the All-American fast-food behemoth if he had simply taken a look at the image of the McDonald’s restaurant that he posted with his tweet.

What a MCIDIOT, of course there’s no MCFISH on the menu, just like there’s no MCBURGER and no MCHOTDOG. Anyone who regularly patronizes McDonald’s knows that their fish sandwich is the Filet-O-Fish and it’s still available for those with idiosyncratic tastes.

It must have been at least a MCDECADE ago when Kelly last went to a McDonald’s, or he would have known the correct spelling of the restaurant and the correct name of their fish sandwich. Methinks Kelly is just an elitist egghead pretending to be a man of the people.

I think this fake conspiracy theorist is just posting a fake anecdote on Twitter, he doesn’t strike me as someone with the nerve to demand to see the manager. Kelly, you aren’t a MALE KAREN, you’re more like a MALE PUSSY.  

Miss Piggy and Marjorie Taylor Greene, Separated at Birth?

A twisted Twitter user posted a “Separated at birth?” caption alongside photos of Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) Greene and Miss Piggy with similar attire and styling.

I have never been so outraged in my life, and I’m talking about genuine outrage, not the faux or ironic kind. True, Green has a porcine appearance, but that’s the only similarity between the Muppet Diva and the QAnon Disgrace.

Rep. Green is a run-of-the mill bitch (apologies to female dogs), and Miss Piggy is That Bitch!

Green is a Trump puppet constantly parroting Trump’s conspiracy theories and Miss Piggy Is a Muppet Queen, and ain’t nobody pulling her strings.

Miss Piggy is rad, Green is ratchet.

Miss Piggy is radiant, Greene is radioactive.

Miss Piggy is the epitome of class, Greene is classless and clueless.

Miss Piggy is a legend, Greene is a laughingstock.

Miss Piggy is infamous for her interspecies relationship with Kermit the Frog, Greene is a rat who only socialized with her fellow QAnon rats.

Miss Piggy would never incite an insurrection, harass school mass-shooting survivors, call for the execution of the Speaker of the House or spread false conspiracy theories.

Miss Piggy and Miss QAnon separated at birth? Ah, hell no!

Bernie Sanders Meme: He’s Already the Pimp of the Year

“Ingrid Seyer-Ochi, a Francisco high school teacher wrote an op-ed claiming Sen. Bernie Sanders ‘manifests privilege’ for wearing his meme-evoking inauguration outfit.

‘I puzzled and fumed as an individual as I strove to be my best possible teacher. What did I see? What did I think my students should see?’ Seyer-Ochi wrote.

‘A wealthy, incredibly well-educated and -privileged white man, showing up for perhaps the most important ritual of the decade, in a puffy jacket and huge mittens.’

Seyer-Ochi said in the op-ed that many people without privilege would not be able to dress like Sanders did on such an occasion.

The New York Post

The Bernie Sanders meme of the century isn’t a Rorschach test where academics see a symbol of white privilege, progressives see a liberal iconoclast, misanthropes see an old man who doesn’t have any fucks left to give, and others simply see a man comfortable in his own skin taking common sense precautions against the frigid weather.

The meme of Sanders wearing a parka and huge ass mittens was universally loved by almost everyone, Republicans, Democrats, Independents and even anarchists. Everyone concurred that Sanders was a world-class pimp; the Democratic Socialist from Vermont did more to unite America than any politician in history.

Yes, it’s true that “poor, or working class, or female, or struggling-to-be-taken seriously folk wouldn’t show up at the inauguration dressed like Bernie”, as Seyer-Ochi asserts, but she should lighten the hell up and just enjoy the image of Bernie keeping it pimp-real like the rest of America.

Joe Biden Should Have Taken Oath of Office on the Constitution, Not the Bible

Joe Biden’s inauguration was an unqualified success, his acceptance speech was universally praised for its spirit of inclusiveness, harmony and bipartisanship. The event which was scaled-down due to the coronavirus pandemic and threats of violence from Trump cultists struck all the right tones and it resonated with a public desperate for a semblance of normality.

The only point of controversy was the impossibly large Bible that Joe Biden used to take his oath of office. Trump supporters, who see a conspiracy theory in everything, suggested that the several-inches thick Bible, a Biden family heirloom, was Masonic or associated with an Illuminati conspiracy.

I’m not going to waste any bandwidth explaining the Masonic and Illuminati conspiracies, just know that they are as far-fetched as the QAnon conspiracy theories.

Biden has used that humongous Bible every time he has been sworn in as senator and vice-president. It’s not a Masonic, Illuminati or Satanic Bible, it’s a Douay-Rheims Bible, an English translation of a Latin Bible.

I take exception with the fact that elected officials in a secular democracy take an oath of office by placing a hand on a Bible. Elected officials should simply raise their hands when taking an oath of office, or pace a hand on the Constitution.