alabama

Tommy Tuberville: ‘God Sent Us Donald Trump Because He Knew We Were in Trouble

The Alabama Republican primary race features a cast of characters that could only thrive in a Bible Belt state:

Former Alabama Supreme Court Chief Justice Roy Moore whose love for the Bible is only exceeded by his lust for underage girls.

Former Attorney General Jeff Sessions who campaigns on his loyalty to the president who emasculated and humiliated him on an almost daily basis when he served in his administration.

Former Auburn University football coach Tommy Tuberville who is running an ad in which he says, “God sent us Donald Trump because God knew we were in trouble.”

Only someone who identifies as a “Christian conservative Republican” could make such a patently ridiculous and theologically suspect proclamation.

America is in trouble, in no small part because the President is an amoral, vulgar, autocratic buffoon who cares only about using his office to enrich himself and his family and to burnish his brand.

If the Almighty’s solution for the sorry state of our union is Donald Trump, I would consider becoming an atheist or listening to what the devil has to say.

Fear not, there is no reason to give up faith in God, only heretical white evangelicals think Trump was anointed by the Supreme Being to make America Great Again. The real God has a special place reserved in hell for the likes of Donald Trump.

Sacrilege: Donald Trump Signs Bibles of Alabama Tornado Victims

Touring the area where a devastating tornado touched down, Donald Trump signed Bibles for supporters who gathered to see him at a Baptist church in Opelika, Ala.

In the aftermath of the violent tornado you`d think evangelicals would be in fear of the awesome power of their God, and for at least the next few days and weeks live righteously.

Instead the white evangelicals thrust their Bibles at the man who embodies all seven deadly sins, so he could defile their holy books with his huge vain autograph.

“Donald Trump signing bibles is like Hannibal Lecter signing cookbooks.”

Adam Best on Twitter

Or I might add like a prostitute signing a book titled: Purity Ring, the story of a girl who exchanged her dildos and romance books for the ultimate symbol of virginity when she found Christ.

Atheists would have been convinced of the existence of the Almighty had he smote that Baptist church with a lightning bolt while the short-fingered vulgarian was signing Bibles.

Jesus would bless the Bibles and the lives of white evangelicals if they followed the teachings of the Gospels, and repudiated the man who is the antithesis of the precepts of love, compassion and peace of the true Messiah.

I close with this warning from Two Corinthians (as the Donald would say):

For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad.

II Corinthians 5:7

I`m glad I won`t have to explain to Jesus why I begged the Antichrist to sign my Bible.

Outrage: Alabama Football Team Prays for Donald Trump at White House!

“Members of the University of Alabama football team prayed with President Donald Trump on Tuesday afternoon as they made their ceremonial visit to the White House as winners of the 2017-2018 College Football Playoff National Championship.

During the Trump presidency, visits by championship sports teams to the White House have seemingly been marred by the fact that some high-profile athletes haven`t made the trip to the executive mansion to protest the president.

However, the Crimson Tide`s visit to the White House on Tuesday to celebrate their 26-23 Jan. 8 victory over the University of Georgia could likely be remembered for the fact that a handful of players huddled around the president to pray for him and the administration.

According to WBRC sports reporter Christina Chambers, the prayer was the idea of Alabama punter JK Scott. Chambers reports that when the punter went to shake Trump`s hand following his ceremony, he asked the president if he could pray with him.”

Christian Post

The tradition of teams visiting the White House to celebrate their championship should take a hiatus during the Trump administration. Most football teams, whether amateur or professional, are predominantly African American, and it makes no sense for them to visit the White House, and thereby giving their stamp of approval to the racist Trump administration.

Instead of visiting the White House to celebrate their 2017 NBA championship, the Golden State Warriors toured the National Museum of African-American History and Culture with local Washington students.

Championship teams should follow the example of the Golden State Warriors and turn down invitations to visit the White House. However I`m not surprised that the University of Alabama football team made their ceremonial visit to the White House as winners of the 2017-2018 College Football Playoff National Championship. After all the state of Alabama is a Mecca for rednecks; Alabamians love football, pedophile senatorial candidates, and of course Donald Trump.

Not only did the Alabama football team visit the White House, but they huddled around the president, laid hands on him, and prayed for the racist bastard.

It would have been OK if players prayed for Trump to repent and turn away from his wicked ways. But I`m sure these wankers prayed a generic Christian prayer asking God to bless Trump and give him wisdom. Such bullcrap!

I`m going to pray myself, that next year the Crimson Tide won`t win the national championship.

Read More:

https://www.christianpost.com/news/alabama-football-team-prays-for-donald-trump-white-house-national-championship-ceremony-222797/

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Moundville Country Bumpkins Epic Fight Over Cheesecake

“The Moundville Times reported that Moundville Police Chief Toby Banks was called to a disturbance at a residence where the half-brothers live together at noon Dec. 26.

`Banks said he was asked for his opinion on whether the piece of cake was big enough for a grown (expletive) man,` the paper reported. `He said he thought it was.`

According to court records, the older brother, 24, was still holding the butcher knife he used to cut the dessert when they began arguing about the portion size. The victim told police his brother punched him in the face and busted his lip.

According to the police report, the suspect told the chief `they were arguing over the pie, but he only patted the victim on the face and head like a dog.`”

Tuscaloosanews.com

Moundville is a hick town with a population of less than 3,000 in the redneck state of Alabama.

I`m surprised these country bumpkins were arguing over a piece of cheesecake, and not a slab of cornbread.

I know that the family is important in the South, but what the hell are two grown ass brothers doing living together?

The moral of this story:

When a hillbilly is brandishing a butcher knife that he used to cut a piece of cheesecake into two portions, common sense dictates that you don`t complain that your portion is smaller.

The simple fact that the older brother used a butcher knife instead of a butter knife to cut the cheesecake should have been a tip off that he wasn`t in a mood to put up with any guff from his younger sibling.

The victim told police that his brother punched him in the face, but the older moron claims he only patted the victim on the face and head like a dog. You don`t have to be an expert on redneck behavior to know that he beat him like a dog.

In a red state that worships the likes of Donald Trump and Roy Moore never, I repeat never, get into an argument with any of the local yokels over cheesecake.

Read More:

http://www.tuscaloosanews.com/news/20180119/fight-over-cheesecake-portion-leads-to-arrest?start=2

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Will Alabama Elect a Pedophile to the Senate?

Tomorrow the backwoods evangelicals who dominate the Alabamian electorate are expected to elect to the Senate Judge Roy Moore, a man with a penchant for dressing like Woody from Toy Story, and a predilection for molesting underage girls.

After several women came forward to allege that Moore had sexually assaulted them in the 1970s while they were in their teens, in his first interview with Sean Hannity he was wishy-washy in his denials.

After he was lambasted for his horrendous Hannity interview, Moore went full-Trump and vehemently denied even knowing the women.

Even though the accusations by several victims are credible and substantiated by many witnesses, Moore adopted a campaign strategy of avoiding the media, appearing only before friendly audiences mainly in evangelical churches, and vociferously denying everything.

Moore claimed that the allegations are a conspiracy by “lesbians, gays, bisexuals and socialists” from the pulpit of an evangelical church.

Pride, a judgmental attitude and hypocrisy runs rampant in evangelical churches, but these sanctimonious a-holes love to place the blame for all the ills of our society on gays and lesbians, naturally they swallowed the outrageous lie that this marginalized community is behind the conspiracy to derail their hero`s political ambitions.

After Moore was exposed as a child molester 37 percent of white evangelical voters in Alabama said it made them more likely to support him. I didn`t say that evangelicals were going to vote for Moore in spite of the credible evidence of child sexual abuse, the fact that the media is reporting the allegations against him makes them more likely to vote for the son of a bitch.

I am dreading watching the election coverage tomorrow night, I`m afraid that the same evangelical hypocrites who elected Donald Trump to the White House will elect Roy Moore to the Senate.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Jesus Hates Pedophiles, Judge Roy Moore is Destined for Hell

The Living Way Ministries church in Opelika Alabama displayed the following sign on their billboard:

The Falsely Accused Jesus! Vote Roy Moore!

This damnable sign is wrong in so many ways:

It`s a clear violation of the law barring churches from engaging in political speech.

But not only is it politically-incorrect it`s also sacrilegious. Comparing the pedophile judge with the sinless Jesus is an affront to decency, morality and Christianity.

To be fair I must admit that Jesus and Moore have one thing in common, they both love children.

People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, `Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.`

When people brought their children to Jesus for Him to bless them, his apostles rebuked the parents because they didn`t` want the little ones to try their Master`s patience.

But Jesus was indignant with his disciples, He loved to be in the presence of children because they reminded Him of the humility and innocence that is the hallmark of true believers.

Moore also loves children, particularly little girls, he delights in their innocence. Whereas Jesus sought to protect children, Moore loves to corrupt, defile, and hurt innocent little girls.

Moore would be well-advised to read the following scripture:

Matthew 18: 2-6

He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me. If anyone causes one of these little ones-those who believe in me-to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.

Moore will probably make it to the Senate, but he will never make it to heaven. Jesus hates pedophiles.

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Alabama Do the Right Thing and Reject Pedophile Roy Moore

Most men prefer to date women younger than themselves, and in this age when girls are sexualized at a very early age, I could understand if a man dated an underage girl if she misrepresented her age.

But if an honorable man meets a female at a club or a restaurant who has the curves of a full-grown woman, only to find out later that she`s underage he will drop her like a hot potato. It`s the only morally-right and legally prudent thing to do.

Roy Moore doesn`t have a fetish for women with a petite figure or a girlish appearance, he has an unnatural and sick attraction for underage girls.

When Moore was a young bachelor he didn`t frequent clubs or bookstores in search for a relationship with a young woman, the pervert went to places where young girls spend their time: Shopping malls, dance recitals, and restaurants where high school girls worked as servers.

Underage girls are low-maintenance compared to women who expect more than a movie and a lunch of hamburger and fries from their date. I`d be surprised if the cheap child molester ever spent more than $20 on a date.

Moore admitted that he first noticed his wife at dance recital when she was only 15 and he was about 30. They tied the knot ten years later.

In the South, and especially in evangelical circles, it`s not so unseemly for a mature man to be interested in underage girls. Evangelical men prefer their wives to be ignorant and submissive, that`s why it`s not uncommon for them to marry teenage girls.

A child molester might not be persona non grata in the backwoods of Alabama, but he`s anathema in the Senate. If the pedophile wins the election, the Senate should do the right thing and expel him.

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