cats

A TED Talk That Matters: Why Do Cats Act So Weird?: Video

TED (Technology, Entertainment, Design) is an organization which posts talks online for free distribution, under the slogan `ideas worth spreading.`

Most of the TED talks deal with science and technology: Simulation theory, quantum mechanics, artificial intelligence …

If you`re an egghead with a doctorate in String theory TED talks are right up your alley.

But finally there`s a TED video for common folks, and it`s on a subject that everybody can relate to: Cats!

This 2016 video from TEDEd doesn`t feature a boring scientist speaking from a podium, it`s a cutesy animation narrated by distinguished cat expert Dr. Tony Buffington.

This video answers the questions that have perplexed cat lovers since time immemorial:

Why do cats seek higher ground?

Why do they sharpen their claws on your furniture?

Why do they purr?

Why do they love boxes?

Cat lovers might tend to dismiss a ponderous professor, but the adorable animation keeps our interest, and I recommend this video for all cat lovers, regardless if they`re into String theory or just like teasing their cats with a string.

Top Christmas Gifts For Your Cat

I love all the trappings of Christmas: The mistletoe hanging in the office, houses festooned with Christmas lights, carolers serenading commuters, and stockings hanging by the fireplace.

Not everyone has a fireplace, but everybody should hang Yuletide stockings somewhere for all the members of their family, including the four-legged ones.

My cats, Tico and Ebony, have frayed their stockings, they treat them like a scratching post.

Which brings us to the question: What toys should you get your felines for Christmas?

Any Toy That Encourages Your Kitty to be Active

Cats are the laziest creatures on Earth, if my pets find a warm spot, they won`t move until they need to eat or use the litter box. Buy them a cat tunnel or a mechanical mouse that will inspire them to get off their fat butts.

Any Toy That Has Catnip

Humans have their eggnog and a holiday bong, it`s only fair that we provide our kitties with catnip. Your neighborhood pet store has dozens of toys that have catnip stored in them that`s released slowly while your cats are playing.

A Super Deluxe Litter Box

Too many cat owners just buy the cheapest litter box they can find, and keep the damn thing until it falls apart. Is it any wonder that some cats make it a point to defecate OUTSIDE the litter box? At the minimum a litter box should have a lid. Would you feel comfortable taking a crap in a bathroom that doesn`t have a door?

Another Cat

Cats are independent, but that doesn`t mean they enjoy being alone for hours at a time while you are at work. A good idea would be to foster a cat from a shelter, and if it gets along with your furball, adopt it.

Food

You can`t go wrong if you fill your cat`s stocking with his favorite gourmet treats.

If you don`t have a cat, adopt one from your local animal shelter as a Christmas gift to yourself.

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Cat Curled Up in Nativity Scene Captivates Internet

“A New York City neighborhood cat got into the holiday spirit.

The feline was squatting in Jesus` manger in a Nativity scene last Sunday, and photographer Brooke Goldman noticed it while walking her boyfriend to a subway station in the borough of Queens.”

ABC News

There are several Nativity scenes in my neighborhood, and they all feature Mary and Joseph, the baby Jesus and barnyard animals, but not a single one includes a cat.

A Nativity scene that substitutes the baby Jesus with a cat may not be kosher, but in my opinion it would be a purr-fect manger display.

A porcelain doll in a manger scene doesn`t exactly fill me with thoughts of the divine, but a warm kitty nestled in a manger scene fills my heart with goodwill.

I don`t expect most people to trade their baby Jesus for a warm kitten, but I guarantee you will be filled with the Christmas spirit after seeing these pics of the cat curled up in the Nativity scene:

http://abcnews.go.com/Lifestyle/cat-spotted-neighborhood-nativity-scene-delighting-internet/story?id=51649825

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Evil Woman Begs Cops to Shoot Dog Who Was Ripping Apart Her Car’s Bumper

“On Nov. 9 in an apartment parking lot in Dalton, Georgia, a dog went ape-shit on a Dodge Journey (an automobile that falls squarely in the unfortunate category) in an effort to catch some cats hiding in the engine bay. The cars owner was livid, and asked a responding officer to shoot the canine.

The car`s owner, Jessica Dilallo, can be heard asking the responding officer, Lieutenant Matthew Locke, to use force, saying:

`You can`t throw a rock at him, you can`t do anything?…You could shoot him!`”

Jalpopnik.Com

If I looked outside my window and saw a dog ripping apart the bumper on my car in an effort to catch some cats hiding in the engine bay, my first concern would be for the terrified kitty cats, and my second worry would be that the crazy pooch might injure himself attacking my vehicle.

I wouldn`t even be thinking about my automobile, especially if it was a nondescript freaking Dodge Journey, my car is insured after all.

The car`s owner, Jessica Dilallo, screamed and begged at the police officers to shoot the dog. She could care less that a bullet might kill the cats or a human being, her only thought was that her car was being destroying right before her eyes.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but Jessica Dilallo is a monster who doesn`t deserve to live in civilized society. Diallo should be exiled to an uninhabited island where there are no humans or animals that she can hurt or kill.

Police officers` mandate to “protect and serve” extends to the animal family, and of course they didn`t hurt the hapless pooch.

The Pitbull-mix was taken to a shelter, the owner was identified, and he promised to pay for the damage to the wretched woman`s vehicle.

Read More:

https://jalopnik.com/woman-pleads-with-officer-to-shoot-dog-chewing-up-her-d-1820927006

‘Firefighters and Felines’ Calendar: Perfect Gift for the Cat Lover

“Firefighters and felines.

That`s the theme of a new 2018 calendar coming out of Stanislaus County. The goal? To raise money for the Cat Network of Stanislaus and animal rescues from the North Bay fires. The calendar also lists cats that are looking to be adopted by their `fur-ever` families.”

ABC 10

Firemen are the epitome of machismo, and calendars featuring firemen in beefcake poses is a time-honored tradition. You will find firemen calendars in the kitchens of suburban women, and in the bedrooms of urban gays.

Firefighters and felines are inextricably linked, a firefighter rescuing a kitten from a tree is a cliché, so a calendar featuring burly firemen and cute cats makes purr-fect sense.

This calendar validates the fact that masculine men love cats. I love football, fast cars, beautiful women and cats, and that`s not a contradiction but an affirmation of my innate machismo.

The proceeds from the sale of the “firefighters and felines” calendar benefits the Cat Network of Stanislaus, support this excellent cause and buy a calendar.

Calendars are up for sale at Caldrons Pet Choice: 3507 Tully Rd Suite 80-85 in Modesto.

Read More:

http://www.abc10.com/news/local/firefighters-pose-with-cats-for-2018-calendar-for-purr-poseful-cause/494527822

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Should Donald Trump Read a Book About Cats to Improve His Image?

“Jarosław Kaczynski, the most powerful politician in Poland, read a book about cats during a session of parliament on Friday.

Kaczyński, head of the ruling Law and Justice (PiS) party, was engrossed in `Atlas of Cats: Wild and Domestic` while lawmakers were discussing controversial plans to overhaul the justice system, the Associated Press reported.”

Politico

This is the purr-fect publicity stunt, nothing softens the image of a hard-boiled politician than having him read a book about cats.

I`d rather read a book about kitty cats than participate in a debate about judicial reform.

No politician has a more dreadful image than Donald Trump, his image would improve if he was photographed reading a book about any subject.

Bookworm he ain`t, but maybe he could be persuaded to read something up his alley, “The Cat in the Hat.”

Let`s face it trying to improve Trump`s image is a fool`s errand, the buffoon is more likely to be photographed watching porn images on his Twitter feed.

Read More:

https://www.politico.eu/article/poland-jaroslaw-kaczynski-cat-book-parliament/

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It’s National Cat Day!

Author Terry Pratchett once said, “In ancient times, cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.” Felines have the spark of divinity and we are overjoyed when they deign to pay us mere mortals any attention.

Our modern day religions have failed to meet our spiritual needs, maybe it`s time to worship cats like the Egyptians of old.

Catholicism is a patriarchal religion that condones pedophilia and misogyny, Evangelical Christianity`s infatuation with Trump has deprived it of all credibility, Americans love bacon too much to embrace Judaism, and of course with Islam there`s that kill infidels for Allah thing.

Now that I have offended the followers of every major religion, I assume that only enlightened souls who worship cats are still with me.

Today is National Cat Day, and we must cater to every whim of our feline masters, hmm, that`s pretty much every day for us.

Let`s use this supreme holiday to spread our faith: Tell your friends and neighbors who don`t own cats about the joys and pleasures of owning these divine creatures.

Adopt a kitty, it will change your life and save your soul!

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Why Do Cats Knock Things Over? Because They’re Jerks!

“Cats have their quirks, no doubt. But one of the more puzzling – and annoying – things they do is to knock stuff off tables and shelves.

Do they hate your things? Are they criticizing your home decorating skills? Or are they simply trying to drive us insane?

Truth is, it`s none of those things, although I do believe there might be a touch of vindictiveness in some of that behavior.

Animal experts say there are three reasons for this destructive and sometimes hilarious conduct. They`re bored and want attention, they`re practicing hunting, and they`re hungry.”

The Mercury News

My cats, Tico and Ebony, despise each other, and they avoid each other like the plague.

They don`t eat, sleep or play together, they unite forces only when they seem to be in a competition to see who can knock more things over.

Usually they just flick objects over, like a glass of water that`s precariously perched right on the edge of the coffee table, but Tico, who tips the scales at 25 pounds, sometimes pushes things over the coffee table or an end table.

In other words they don`t accidentally tip things over, they deliberately attempt to break my possessions.

I find cheap knick- knacks aesthetically displeasing, the only small objects that my cats can knock off my table and shelves are expensive crystal figurines. Tico has knocked over, and broken a couple of crystal candle holders, at least the candles weren`t lit.

Tico`s girth prevents him from jumping on top of my tallest book shelves and tables, and Ebony is too old to jump very high, so I place my most expensive objects on my tallest tables and shelves.

Why are my kitties and indeed all cats so destructive? They don`t knock things over to get my attention, they are very independent and barely deign to look in my direction.

They aren`t trying to hone their hunting skills, they know damn well that I will serve them gourmet cat food and treats throughout the day.

Cats are jerks, plain and simple. Adorable and fluffy, but jerks all the same. They knock things over because they are jerks.

Cat lovers have learned how to cat-proof their homes, and we gladly put up with their jerk tendencies.

The last time that Tico knocked something from the coffee table, I just picked him up, and gave him a big hug. Take that you big jerk.

Read More:

http://www.mercurynews.com/2017/09/26/why-does-my-cat-keep-knocking-my-things-off-the-table/

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Denver International Airport Introduces Therapy Cats

“Denver International Airport`s CATS team is no longer only for dogs.

Yeah, we know that seems obvious.

This week, the airport introduced Xeli, the first feline to join the Canine Airport Therapy Squad, or CATS.

The team is made up of volunteer pet owners and their furry family members, and all pets are registered with the Alliance of Therapy Dogs.

All animals in the program wear vests that read `pet me` and passengers are encouraged to pet or hug them and take pictures.”

Coloradoan

It`s not uncommon to see therapy cats in nursing homes, hospitals and hospices, but now they will be employed where we need them the most, hell aka any airport.

If I don`t make it to heaven, and I`m dispatched to hell I`m sure it will look like a generic airport minus the lake of fire.

TSA goons becoming more intimate with you than your proctologist or gynecologist, fear of terrorists who are anxious to slaughter innocents so they can have an orgy with 40 virgins in paradise, fat passengers who invade your personal space, and fart away like there`s no tomorrow – if that`s not a description of hell, I don`t know what is!

Thank God the Denver International Airport has added felines to their Canine Airport Therapy Squad, or CATS.

When I`m on vacation I miss my dog and cats the most, being able to pet a kitty at the airport would go a long way toward relieving my stress and anxiety. I would no longer regard an airport as hell, because there are no cats in hell.

Cats at an airport is a purr-fect idea, I pray it catches on.

Read More:

http://www.coloradoan.com/story/life/2017/09/29/meet-denver-international-airports-new-therapy-cat/716459001/

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World’s Oldest Cat, Nutmeg, dies at 32

“Nutmeg, believed to be the world`s oldest cat, died in England at the age of 32 earlier this month, his owners said.

Westway Veterinary Group in Newcastle upon Tyne announced Nutmeg died on Sept. 14 as a result of heart failure.

Liz and Ian Finlay cared for Nutmeg for 27 years after taking him in as a stray when he was 5 years old.

Finlay and his wife said their other cat Spice, who died in the early 2000s, constantly brought Nutmeg into their home before they decided to adopt him.

Finlay attributed Nutmeg`s long life to healthy portions of treats such as tuna, cream and hot roast chicken.”

UPI.Com

Cats are entitled to nine lives, but after having lived for 32 years I doubt Nutmeg will be reincarnated.

Nutmeg was a stray cat who was adopted when he was five years old, had he stayed on the streets he would probably wouldn`t have lived more than ten years. Feral felines live short and brutish lives; God bless people who adopt stray cats.

Nutmeg`s owners attribute his long life to healthy portions of treats such as tune, cream and hot roast chicken. I`ve owned cats all of my adult life, and one of my cats lived for twenty years, and I fed her tuna regularly. Don`t be afraid to spoil your kitties by feeding them human food every once in a while.

Nutmeg`s owners are so heartbroken that they don`t plan on getting another cat. I hope they change their minds after their sorrow subsides, I can`t imagine life without a cat.

Read More:

https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/09/22/Worlds-oldest-cat-Nutmeg-dies-at-32/3681506109735/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=1

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Hodge the Famous Bookstore Cat

It`s tradition for independent book stores to employ a cat as a mascot, enter the search term “bookstore cat” on YouTube and you will get dozens of hits.

Hodge the Bookstore Cat`s domain is a used-book and sheet-music emporium on the South side of Chicago. He`s an institution in the Windy City, and two works of fiction have been inspired by his glorious career, “The Secret Life of Hodge, the Bookstore Cat” and “Hodge Sings Again.”

Unfortunately, the bookstore where Hodge works has shut its doors due to declining sales, but his celebrity hasn`t waned. Hodge is featured in the new book “Bookstore Cats,” and his videos still go viral.

We can learn two things from Hodge`s story:

Within a generation bookstores, especially independent bookstores, will be as difficult to find as a Blockbuster video store. Digital media is rendering bookstores, and even libraries, obsolete.

The popularity of cats will never diminish, when the Zombie Apocalypse arrives we will be clutching a shotgun with one hand to fend off zombies, and holding our beloved cat with the other.

Link to Hodge the Cat video:

http://www.chicagotribune.com/lifestyles/pets/ct-life-famous-cat-loses-job-0917-story.html

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September is ‘Happy Cat Month’

September is “Happy Cat Month,” never mind that there`s already an “International Cat Day” and a “National Kitten Day.”

So how can we make our feline friends happy?

BECOME A HOARDER

If your house is spotless and spic-and-span, you are making your pets neurotic. Cats thrive in chaos and clutter and they prefer junk all over the place so that they can roam across their house unobserved.

Kitties love boxes, never throw away a box, a house strewn with boxes makes for a very happy cat.

If you become a hoarder you will become a pariah to your neighbors, but you will provide your cats with a cat-friendly environment and earn their gratitude.

KEEP LITTER BOXES CLEAN

Cats may love a messy house, but they demand that their litter boxes be kept clean. As soon as your tabby uses his litter box, scoop his feces and flush it down the toilet. A litter box that smells like a heavenly breeze makes for a content kitty.

ALWAYS HAVE FOOD AVAILABLE

Cats like to nibble all day and all night long, and they are finicky as the devil. Place at least a dozen bowls of dry and cat food of various varieties in every room of your house.

GET RID OF YOUR DOG

Cats and dogs are arch enemies, and peaceful coexistence is a myth, your cat won`t be happy until you banish your pooch to his doghouse.

DITCH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER

Cats are notoriously jealous and they will seethe with anger if they observe you lavishing attention on anybody but them.

ALLOW YOUR CAT TO USE YOUR BODY AS A PILLOW, SCRATCHING POST AND GARBAGE CAN

Your cat will sleep on your head, knead your stomach until it bleeds, and cough up a fur ball on your lap. Don`t complain if you want your cat to be happy.

In other words, if you really want your cat to be always happy, be prepared to be as miserable as the devil.

Just love your kitty, and even if don`t do all of the aforementioned things he will still love you.

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Perfect Gift for Cat Lady in Your Life: Anatomically Correct Plush Cat Purse

Do you have a sister, aunt or friend who`s a cat lady, and you don`t know what to get her for her birthday because she already owns every cat-themed accessory in the world?

We all know such old maids, and it`s difficult buying them presents, because they are as finicky and hard to please as their feline significant others.

I know a cat lady who has dozens of cat magnets on her fridge, cat-themed kitchen towels, and really cute cat dish bowls – wait a second, that`s me. Anyway I have the perfect gift for the cat lady in your life: A darling plush cat purse.

These adorable plush cat purses will make your cat lady friend purr like she`s high on weed or catnip.

These purses look just like a cat, they even have balls, and believe me that`s as close to balls as the typical cat lady will ever be.

They are available on Amazon in three varieties: a Calico-inspired tote, a Russian Blue and a gray kitty. There`s one for every type of cat lover.

Only $12.99! Get one today!

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B073WRPH55/ref=as_li_ss_tl?th=1&linkCode=sl1&tag=marisadd-20&linkId=00d8aac29834cad2c5ac3f65e05282b0

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Dude Builds Elaborate Maze For His Cats! Cat Lover or Lunatic?

“A proud cat owner celebrated International Cat Day by building his pets an elaborate maze of cardboard boxes.

Chris Poole converted 50 cardboard boxes into a massive maze for his famous feline friends Cole and Marmalade.

Poole individually constructed the boxes, before cutting various holes in the sides and lining them up in a winding pattern throughout the room.”

UPI

I love my cats, Tico and Ebony, and I cater to their every whim. I know they love playing with boxes, and whenever I buy anything that`s packaged in a box I save it for their entertainment and amusement.

But Chris Poole really takes the cake when it comes to pampering his kitties, he constructed an elaborate maze of cardboard boxes for his furry friends. The maze covered the entire living room floor. I may dedicate a corner of my living room for my pets` boxes and toys, but this dude really went overboard.

Whenever I buy toys or treats for my felines, and I wonder if I`m coddling them too much, I will play this video to remind myself that my furry friends haven`t completely taken over my life yet.

Read More:

https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/08/15/Cat-owner-turns-50-cardboard-boxes-into-elaborate-maze/3041502818637/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=7

Link to video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXS_sMYdqco

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

 

Cool Cat High Fives and Fist Bumps His Owner: Video

My pooch, Mandy, is very eager to please, and with a minimum of effort I might succeed in teaching her a few tricks, but truth be told, I`m too lazy and she`s too stupid. The only trick she`s mastered is to come running when I call her to dinner.

My cats, Tico and Ebony, have learned a lot of tricks on their own, they`ve become versed on opening kitchen cabinets in search of treats, and they got the knack of jumping on my remote control to change the channel when I`m watching a program that doesn`t align with their aesthetic sensibilities.

But they would never deign to learn a trick that would make me look good in front of my friends and family, like rolling over, playing dead or shaking my hand.

Here`s a cool cat who`s learned how to high five and fist bump, most human beings can`t high five or fist bump without looking like spastic nerds.

If I showed this video to my felines on my cellphone they would probably cough up a hairball on it, they don`t cotton to obsequious cats.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_6fFAl8SYE

Cat Named ‘Trouble’ Allegedly Attacks Little Girl

“A cat named Trouble allegedly attacked a 7-year-old girl while she was visiting her grandfather in Joliet, according to a complaint filed Thursday in Will County court.

The owners of the allegedly troublesome cat are being sued over the incident that apparently left the girl with claw marks across the forehead. The injury required surgery, the lawsuit said.

Anna Tezak, the mother of the girl, is suing Rena and Kelly Blankenship, who were identified in the complaint as the owners of Trouble. Tezak is seeking at least $50,000 in damages.

“I think we have enough evidence that this was their cat they habitually let run around their neighborhood,” said Jordan Kielian, Tezak`s attorney.”

The Herald News

We know the cat`s name (Trouble), but what`s the girl`s name (Brat)? Felines don`t attack unless provoked, what was the little girl from hell doing? Pulling its tail? Throwing rocks at it?

The only ones more evil than the mischievous girl are her greedy parents who are suing for $50,000 for a few scratches that their daughter sustained on her forehead.

The judge should award them $10.00 so they can buy a jumbo container of Neosporin, and whip them with a cat o` nine tails for filing a frivolous lawsuit.

How the hell do we know anyway that Trouble, or for that matter any cat, scratched the troublesome girl? Her own parents may have scratched her, this could all be a scam.

Read More:

http://www.theherald-news.com/2017/07/28/lawsuit-cat-named-trouble-attacked-girl-in-joliet/a509s8i/

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Twerk the Twerking Kitten an Internet Sensation

“A kitten that has become an internet sensation thanks to her hot dance moves has been adopted.

Twerk, who is about 4 months old, suffers from cerebellar hypoplasia (CH), a brain disorder that causes her body to shake, making it look like she`s doing the dance popularized by pop stars like Miley Cyrus.”

Yahoo

Twerk is a beautiful kitten and her twerking dance moves are adorable. I hope this special needs kitty will be spoiled rotten by her new owners.

Twerk doesn`t twerk because she has a skanky nature, her dance moves can be attributed to a brain disorder that causes her rear end to shake uncontrollably.

Celebrities like Miley Cyrus don`t twerk due to a brain disorder, they are afflicted with a disease of the soul that compels them to dance like shameless whores on crack.

When I see Twerk twerk I feel like hugging her and giving her a big kiss, when I see Cyrus twerk I feel giving her a swift kick in the ass.

Link to video:

https://www.yahoo.com/news/apos-twerk-apos-kitten-does-193200353.html

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George the Skateboarding Cat is a Fraud

“There are cool cats, and then there’s a level above that, topped by this skateboarding kitten.

Twitter user @ericaclaire shared some photos of her adorable kitten on Saturday, proving to the world that some cats are just born hip.”

Yahoo.com

Multitudes of cats have gained Internet fame due to their adorable physical deformities (Grumpy the Cat, Lil` Bub), or because of their peculiar feline antics.

I`ll be the first to admit that the skateboarding kitten, otherwise known as George, is cute as a button, but he`s a poseur and a fraud and underserving of Internet stardom.

There have been many dogs who have achieved viral fame because of their mad skateboarding skills, (Otto and Jumpy), these talented pooches actually skateboard by using their paws to propel the skateboard forward.

But George has simply been placed on top of a skateboard by his owner, he knows as much about skateboarding as he knows about quantum mechanics.

Shame on Erica, the owner of George, she`s one of the great con artists of the digital era.

I have too much integrity to plop one of my cats in front of my computer and claim that he`s the one who`s blogging under the name of Robert Paul Reyes.

George is a fraud, but like I said, he`s a cutie, here’s a link to his pics:

https://www.yahoo.com/news/skateboarding-kitten-coolest-cat-block-131000894.html

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Cat Manicures? Give Me a Break!

“There are times we take matching fashion trends a tad bit too far, and this is probably one such instance. After Mother-daughter matching dresses, not to forget the age-old tradition of siblings – especially twins – being dressed alike, we now have fashion conscious pet owners getting their cat`s paws manicured and painted to match their own!

No kidding!

Though there is very basic problem with this trend, which is that nail polish should not be used on the claws of your pets because of the polish`s toxicity. However, there is a way out and doting pet owners have embraced with with perfectly manicured hands – nail caps. People have found out these nail caps to attach to their cat`s claws and then get matching nailpaint.”

Indian Express

I love cats, and I don`t spare any expense lavishing my kitties with toys and treats, and I can understand a cat lover obsessing over his or her beloved pets.

But I draw the line at a cat lady painting her feline`s claws to match her nails. A cat with manicured claws doesn`t look cute or attractive, it looks repulsive and freakish.

I would never let a woman style my hair to match hers, and I would never let her paint my cat`s claws to match her nails. I would kick that psycho bitc* to the curb, and never let her come anywhere near my babies again.

This is a deplorable trend that makes both cat lovers and cats look ridiculous.

Read More:

http://indianexpress.com/article/lifestyle/fashion/matching-cat-manicures-4742758/

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Book Featuring Pics of Cats and Boobs Ultimate Therapeutic Experience

“If there`s one thing you see more of on the internet than boobs, it`s cats.

So innovative Japanese photographer Yuki Aoyama has done what now seems so obvious: combined the two.

 

His collection, released in a book titled `Painyan` (a pun in Japanese on the words for `breast` and `meow`), contains 96 pages of beautiful women with cute kitties. The contented cats can be seen pawing at cleavages, settling inside blouses and even resting between two sets of breasts.”

Daily Mail

A book that combines two of the Internet`s hottest trends (cats and boobs) is destined to be a bestseller. Cool cats and Hot chicks = sizzling sales.

This book is family-friendly, only the cats are naked, all of the women are wearing G-rated cleavage-baring tops. Your two-year-old toddler will enjoy this book as much as your 22-year-old husband.

Reading this book is more therapeutic than drinking milk and eating oatmeal cookies while getting a foot rub by a geisha. Even the photo of the kitty resting between two sets of breasts didn`t induce any threesome fantasies, my only thought was “that kitten sure looks comfortable.” I`m not gay, not that there`s anything wrong with being gay, really!

I love cats, books and beautiful women, this book would make the perfect gift for me. Hint!

Pics of the adorable cats and beautiful women:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4583588/Japanese-photographer-releases-book-breasts-cats.html#ixzz4k0hBZSWv

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Maintenance Guy Plays With Homeowner’s Cat: Video

“I broke the pull string light switch in my laundry room.

cat My apartment maintenance guy came to fix it and had a great time playing with my cat on his way out.”
YouTube video description
When I lived in an apartment, I always hated it when the landlord scheduled the maintenance guy to make repairs while I was at work. I always wondered, will the dude go through my personal stuff, watch porn on my computer or tease my cats?
Nobody had surveillance cameras in their homes in those days, so God only knows what the dude did in my apartment. Now I have a home security system that includes surveillance cameras, but I still wouldn`t allow a contractor to work in my house when I`m not home.

It restores my faith in human nature that this maintenance guy fixed the problem and played with the cat.

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Why Do Cats Knead?

“Not all cats knead, and they don`t all knead in the same way. Most cats only use their front paws, but some use all four; some kitties bring their claws out, and others don`t. A cat kneading at your lap might hurt, but your kitty doesn`t have any bad intentions.

Even when they`re too young for their eyes to open, kittens need to knead, says Katy Nelson, DVM, Virginia-based veterinarian and Freshpet ambassador. Nursing kitties push around when suckling to get their mother`s glands to release more milk, she says. No one is totally sure why the habit lasts through adulthood, but there are a few theories.”

Reader`s Digest

I have two cats, and they both knead on the carpet, rugs, sofas, and on my belly and chest when I`m sleeping on the sofa.

Ebony weighs about 10 pounds, and she kneads my chest and belly with her claws out. She purrs with contentment as she`s poking me with her sharp claws; I usually let her knead for a while before I gently dump her on the floor.

Tico tips the scales at over 25 pounds, and he kneads me his claws retracted, and he also purrs peacefully as he`s suffocating me. I gently dump Tico on the floor after only a few moments, because my life takes precedence over his pleasure.

According to the Reader`s Digest article kittens knead their mother`s glands to release more milk, and most cats continue to knead throughout their lives.

When my kitties knead me I don`t see it as a sign of affection, they`re simply trying to make their bed (me) comfortable for them to sleep on, it`s no different than when we fluff our pillows.

I would find my cats penchant for kneading a more endearing quirk if Ebony`s claws weren`t so sharp (it`s a nightmare trimming her nails), and if Tico didn`t weigh so much.

I`m just glad dogs don`t have a predilection for kneading, if my 70-pound Pit Bull mix jumped on me and kneaded me it wouldn`t be such a pleasant experience.

Read More:

http://www.rd.com/advice/pets/why-do-cats-knead/

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Donald Trump Should Attempt Pussy Diplomacy With Putin

“Although Russia and the West have differences, one thing that unites the two is a feline obsession. The achievement by a cat has been posted by the social media accounts of the Russian ministry of defense, www.telegraph.co.uk reported.

A ginger cat was reportedly the first to travel on a long range voyage of Russian naval vessels to the Syrian coast. This cat has a more perilous job than the moggies the British have in Westminster, who chiefly meet foreign ambassadors and catch mice, report added.

Cats have had a place on board Russian ships for many years, and now appear to serve the purpose of making their military operations look more cute and cuddly. An article in Russian media had claimed that cats on ships serve an important purpose – their purring helps soothe humans onboard.”

Deccan Chronicle

The cats serve multiple purposes: They kill rats, soothe the nerves of the sailors operating in a war zone, and humanize the Russian sailors.

If a Russian spy ship was spotted of the east coast of the United States, we wouldn`t be so alarmed if we knew that the crew included kittens. A warship where the sailors pet and play with cats wouldn`t be perceived as much of a threat.

I hope that the American aircraft carrier deployed in the Korean peninsula doesn`t have any kitties onboard, if the North Koreans see cats frolicking on the deck of our mighty vessel they won`t take us seriously, and might even attempt to sink it with a torpedo.

Instead of groping pussies, Trump should try pussy diplomacy, and send a fat and fluffy pussycat to Putin. The Russian president is confident in his own masculinity and wouldn`t perceive the gift cat as an insult and he would reciprocate by sending Trump a pussy cat or a bunch of pussies (whores). In any even relations between the two nuclear superpowers would be bound to improve.

Read More:

http://www.deccanchronicle.com/world/europe/020517/russian-cat-travels-to-syrian-coast.html

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Why Do Cats Love Boxes?

“Boxes and cats, what is the deal?

So what powers your kitty`s drive to sit in all things square and cardboard? There`s more scientific reason behind it than you might suspect.
According to The Washington Post, it all goes back to childhood. Kittens seek out the warmth and comfort of their mom`s snuggling embrace and the cuddles provided by their fellow litter mates. This is one of the reasons why swaddling calms a cat down. In these cases, the close contact releases endorphins, giving felines a natural sense of peace and pleasure.”

People Magazine

People Magazine usually chronicles the scandals and antics of brain-dead celebs, thank goodness they are finally covering a worthwhile subject: Cats!

I have owned cats for most of my adult life, when I adopted my first kitty I bought her beds and cat condos, but I quickly learned that she would eschew these expensive items in favor of a box, any box no matter how small.

My cat Tico tips the scale at 25 pounds, and whenever I buy a new pair of shoes he immediately claims the box as his new bed, even though he can barely fit his fat butt in the small box.

So what`s up with cats and their inordinate love of boxes? According to Temple Grandin, Professor of Animal Science, when cats are cozied up within the confines of a box it reminds them when they were kittens and shared close quarters with their mother and litter mates.

My cats never fight over food, but they will fight over a box, that`s why I always make sure to have a couple of boxes in my house. There are some adorable box dwellers waiting to b e adopted at your local animal shelter.

Read More:

http://people.com/pets/heres-why-your-cat-loves-sitting-in-boxes/

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Every Cat is a Therapy Cat

“A Cambridge University library has come up with a novel way for students to relieve exam stress – with the help of a friendly ginger cat.

Five-year-old Jasper has become a hit with students at the Marshall Library of Economics after he made an appearance at a recent event.

`Tea with Jasper` attracted more than 100 students to the surprise of librarian Clare Trowell, who had just 30 tickets.”
Cambridge News

The university librarian tried to make the austere library more welcoming by adding a lot of potted plants, and buying more plush sofas, but the library didn`t become a safe refuge from the madness of campus life until she brought in Jasper the cat as the library mascot.

When anybody visits my house, regardless if its` a friend, family, or contractor, he usually doesn`t loosen up until my fat and fluffy cat Tico makes an appearance.

A feline doesn`t need any training to become a therapy pet, every cat is a therapy animal. When I`m doing my taxes, or performing any other unpleasant task, I always have my cats around to soothe my rattled nerves. The soft purr of a kitty will chase away any demon.

Every library, indeed every public building, should have a cat mascot. Jasper helps the university students relieve stress, and a cat will help you deal with everyday trials and tribulations.

There are many cats available for adoption at your local animal shelter, and each and every one will make an adorable therapy pet for your home.

Read More:

http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/news/cambridge-news/cambridge-university-library-economics-cat-12872770

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