Boxing Match Between Donald (Tiny Hands of Thunder) Trump and Crazy Joe Biden

At the University of Miami`s “It`s On Us” rally, aimed at creating an environment where sexual assault and gender-based violence is unacceptable, former Vice President mused about going Neanderthal on President Donald Trump (I guess Crazy Joe is OK with same-sex violence):

“A guy who ended up becoming our national leader said, `I can grab a woman anywhere, and she likes it.

They asked me if I`d like to debate this gentleman, and I said `no.` I said, `If we were in high school, I`d take him behind the gym and beat the hell out of him.`
I`ve been in a lot of locker rooms my whole life. I`m a pretty darn good athlete. Any guy that talked that way was usually the fattest, ugliest SOB in the room.”

Noted counter-puncher Trump delivered a rapid-fire response on Twitter:

“Crazy Joe Biden is trying to act like a tough guy. Actually, he is weak, both mentally and physically, and yet he threatens me, for the second time, with physical assault. He doesn`t know me, but he would go down fast and hard, crying all the way. Don`t threaten people Joe!”

Can you imagine a boxing match between these demented septuagenarians?

Each round would last 30 seconds following by a five-minute bathroom break.

Trump would demand oversized boxing gloves to compensate for his tiny hands.

Instead of a traditional cut man who treats boxers for cuts and bruises during the breaks between rounds Trump would have a tan man to slather on fake orange tan, and Biden would employ a Rogaine man to tend to his hair implants.

Pervert Biden who never misses an opportunity to kiss, fondle and otherwise molest little girls would hire prepubescent cheerleaders to cheer him on at ringside, and Trump would invite Ivanka to sit on the front row and blow kisses at him.

Instead of a referee the fight would be officiated by a medical doctor.

Both fighters would be clad in black shorts, to hide their soiled diapers.

We feel ripped-off when a highly anticipated pay-per-view boxing match ends after only a couple of rounds, but if this epic match between Trump and Biden ends after only a minute because both combatants died of a heart attack, I don`t think a soul would complain.

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Melania Trump Acknowledges Irony of Her Stance Against Cyberbullying

“First lady Melania Trump, wife of one of the most prolific Twitter agitators, acknowledged criticism of her stance against cyberbullying during an event on the topic Tuesday with technology leaders.

`I`m well aware that people are skeptical of me discussing this topic,` Trump said in her opening remarks during the cyberbullying summit at the White House. `I have been criticized for my commitment to tackling this issue and I know that will continue.`

The remarks appeared to address the contrast between her position against verbal attacks online and the fact that her husband, President Donald Trump, has frequently used Twitter to deride and mock his detractors.”


The Constitution doesn`t assign any political assignments to a First Lady, to make themselves useful every First Lady adopts a non-controversial pet project. Barbara Bush helped AIDS awareness, Rosalyn Carter became an advocate for refugees, Michelle Obama took on child obesity, and Melania Obama has made cyberbullying her cause.

Melania could have chosen world peace, the opioid epidemic, racial inequality or a hundred other causes, what on Earth compelled her to choose cyberbullying, when her husband is the biggest cyberbully in the world?

Melania embracing online abuse as her pet cause makes as much sense as Stormy Daniels choosing the pernicious effects of pornography on society as her favorite issue.

Melania addressed the elephant in the room and acknowledged that people are skeptical of her discussing that subject. Damn Skippy we are skeptical, Melamnia could raise worldwide awareness of the issue if she publicly condemned her husband for viciously berating his critics on Twitter. If Melania wants to take meaningful action against cyberbullying she should crush her husband`s tiny fingers or flush his cell phone down the toilet.

Despite the criticism Melania insists that she will continue her crusade to make the Internet a safe place for children. Melania is wasting her time, she has absolutely no credibility. What`s she going to do next, become an advocate for survivors of sexual harassment and sexual assault?

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Will America Survive Donald Trump’s Golden Showers?

The White House is Swamp Incorporated, on a daily basis we are inundated with toxic tweets, political intrigue, mixed messages, the toxic aftermath of presidential liaisons with porn stars and Playboy centerfolds, excuses for Russian treachery, and just about everything else that stinks to high heaven.

We`ve been experiencing a flood of Biblical proportions for the last year, but we are being drenched not with cleansing rain, but with golden showers.

Christopher Steele`s infamous dossier included the salacious claim that Donald Trump once ordered hookers to perform a golden show in front of him while at a hotel in Russia.

Excerpt from Steele`s dossier:

According to the Source D, where s/he had been present, TRUMP`s (perverted) conduct in Moscow included hiring the suite if the Ritz Carlton Hotel, where he knew President and Mrs OBAMA (whom he hated) had stayed on one of their official trips to Russia, and defiling the bed where they had slept by employing prostitutes to perform a `golden showers` (urination) show in front of him. The hotel was known to be under FSB control with microphones and concealed cameras in all the main rooms to record anything they wanted to.

This dossier was published in 2017, and the golden rain is still staining and corrupting our moral infrastructure.

There have been countless articles, theses and even books written about Donald Trump`s pee tape. Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton`s sex tapes failed to break the Internet, but if Trump`s pee tape is ever leaked online it may be the final nail in the coffin of Western Civilization.

It`s impossible to go online, read a newspaper, or watch the TV news without being drenched by the golden showers emanating from the Trump administration.

America survived Monica Lewinsky`s DNA-stained blue dress, and her orifice being employed as a cigar humidifier, and I`m confident that we will survive Trump`s seemingly endless golden showers.

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Donald Trump Exposed on New Yorker Cover: Barry Blitt Masterpiece

“The cover of the upcoming issue of The New Yorker features an image of Donald Trump standing nude as he answers questions from a gaggle of reporters with their hands in the air. A judiciously placed lectern covers a crucial part of the president`s anatomy as he points to a member of the press.”

Huffington Post

What message is the artist, Barry Blitt attempting to convey?

That the press and the public is so used to Donald Trump`s outrageous behavior, that nothing he does shocks us anymore? Indeed, if Trump held a news conference in the buff, the event would go on as planned, and not one of the reporters would inquire: Sir, why are you naked?

That the press has exposed Trump as an emperor who isn`t wearing any clothes? It doesn`t matter if the media has exposed Trump as a racist buffoon who is in over his head, his base still treats him like the Second Coming of Jesus Christ. If Trump held a news conference butt naked, the likes of Sean Hannity and Laura Ingraham would tell their viewers that he wore a beautiful red tie, and a conservative blue business suit.

That Trump believes that the rules and conventions of polite society don`t apply to him, and that the public must accept him on his own terms? And by golly, if he does a press conference in the nude, the press must act as if that`s par for the course?

Blitt depicts Trump as a huge figure who towers over the assembled reporters. Is Blitt saying that Trump is a bigger than life figure, or is he simply illustrating the obvious fact that he is a fat pig?

I`m not sure what message Blitt was trying to convey, but I do know that he deserves a Pulitzer Prize. That huge naked illustration of Trump brilliantly captures his brazen decadence.

Link to Blitt`s masterpiece:

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Trump’s Bowling Ball Test

“President Donald Trump often speaks of how other countries treat American products unfairly. At a private fundraising event in Missouri, Trump singled out a particular practice in Japan.

`It`s called the bowling ball test. Do you know what that is?` Trump said, according to a recording obtained by the Washington Post. `That`s where they take a bowling ball from 20 feet up in the air, and they drop it on the hood of the car. And if the hood dents, then the car doesn`t qualify. Well, guess what, the roof dented a little bit, and they said, nope, this car doesn`t qualify. It`s horrible, the way we`re treated. It`s horrible.`”


The Washington Post noted: It was unclear what he was talking about. No shi*! The same thing could be said after almost every Trump comment.

When White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders was asked in her regular press briefing, what the heck Trump was talking about, she responded that he was just joking. That`s the default explanation for Trump aides when their boss utters a ridiculous statement.

I have my own version of the Bowling Ball Test, if you believe Japan employs a bowling ball test to disqualify American imports, or just about anything else that emanates from Trump`s sphincter-shaped mouth, you have the IQ of a bowling ball.

If you drop a bowling ball from 20 feet up in the air on the hood of any car, be it a Mercedes-Benz or a Ford Focus, the hood will cave in.

Modern cars are intentionally made to crush under even a moderate impact, the more a car crushes the more it absorbs the energy. Better the automobile absorb the impact than a bowling ball or a human head.

I wish a patriot would end this charade and drop a bowling ball on Trump`s head from 200 feet in the air. Please no calls from the Secret Service, like Trump I have a penchant for joking around.

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Stormy Daniels Begs Fans to Pay Legal Fees for Lawsuit Against Donald Trump

“Stormy Daniels, the former porn star who says she had an affair with Trump in his pre-political days, is raising money to pay the legal fees and potential damages for her lawsuit against him.

The suit alleges that the hush agreement that keeps Daniels, whose real name is Stephanie Clifford, from telling her story is invalid.

On the site – which was tweeted about by Daniels` lawyer, Michael Avenatti – Daniels said she would use the funds raised to pay for attorneys` fees, out-of-pocket costs associated with the lawsuit, security expenses and damages if she loses her suit. She said she did not have the “vast resources” to fight Trump and lawyer Michael Cohen on her own.

Per the crowd fundraiser, Cohen and Trump have threatened damages amounting to $1 million for every time she speaks out about the alleged affair.”

USA Today

Throughout his career real estate mogul Donald Trump sued or threatened to sue his business competitors as a form of intimidation. It`s poetic justice that now that he`s president a porn star is suing him in an attempt to break her nondisclosure agreement.

Trump was a moron for screwing around with a high profile porn star, and Daniels was a moron for agreeing to keep her diseased trap shut for a measly $130,000.

Now the shameless porn starlet is begging her fans to finance her suit against the president. Daniels no longer makes porn flicks, but she should make a couple more to finance her lawsuit. A couple of possible movie titles:

A Wrinkle in Time: The Odyssey of a Whore through Space and Time to Find the Perfect Lover.

The Black Panther from Wakanda Tangles with the White Skank from Baton Rouge.

Here`s how I hope and pray this sordid affair plays out: Daniels wins her lawsuit and sells a sex tape online depicting her drenching Trump in golden showers. This is too much even for Trump`s white evangelical supports to stomach and they finally turn against the bastard. But before Daniels can cash her first check she dies of syphilis.

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Stormy Daniels Isn’t An Icon of Female Empowerment, She’s a Disease-Ridden Skank

“Stephanie Clifford, aka Stormy Daniels, is having a field day on Twitter with the many people who are insulting her now that she wants to speak out about an affair she says she had with President Donald Trump.

Clifford is embroiled in a legal battle over whether a non-disclosure agreement she signed in October 2016 in return for $130,000 is valid. But while the case plays out, the porn star is responding to haters on Twitter with some hilarious snark, including chastising one user for misspelling skank.

One tweet in particular amused Clifford:

ROFL As if Donald Trump would sleep with a disease ridden slut like you, all you are is a glorified prostitute after quick cash. Why would he want you when he has Ivanka? Better looking and miles more classy than you could ever hope to be. People like you give women a bad rep.”



Daniels may be motivated by fame and money to spill the beans on her sexual relationship with Trump, nevertheless in the interests of truth and transparency I hope she spills her guts.

Deano`s tweet may have amused the porn star, but his assertion that she`s a disease-ridden slut is spot on.

Daniels is indeed a glorified prostitute after quick cash. According to Merriam-Webster dictionary a prostitute is a person, in particular a woman, who engages in sexual activity for payment.

Prostitutes engage in sexual activity for money in private, but Daniels performs her dirty deeds on film, there is no shame in her game. You don`t have to be Daniels` gynecologist to deduce that her orifices are crawling with STD`s.

Trump is a noted germaphobe who hates shaking hands, however his lust for women of dubious virtue trumps his fear of germs. Trump has a history of bedding disease-ridden porn stars and cavorting with golden showers-loving hookers. Trump would have no problem sleeping with a disease-ridden skank like Daniels.

Deano is mistaking Trump`s daughter Ivanka for his wife Melania, however Trump does have incestuous yearnings for his daughter. Trump once confessed that if Ivanka weren`t my daughter perhaps I`d be dating her.

Deano states that people like Daniels give women a bad name, it would be more accurate to state that Daniels gives sluts a bad name.

Daniels isn`t a feminist icon and a symbol of female empowerment, on the contrary she`s a symbol of the dehumanization, objectification and exploitation of women.

The pornographic industry is controlled by organized crime, and the vast majority of women in this business are treated like dogs. The ethos of the pimp, “Pimps Up, Hoes Down,” is the mission statement of the porn industry.

Legions of girls and young women who dream of being a glamorous porn star like Daniels end up living in crack motels making porn flicks that are too sleazy for

Screw Daniels, she`s nothing but a disease-ridden slut.

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Donald Trump aka Denny Dennison is a Filthy Pig

President Donald Trump`s personal attorney, Michael Cohen has publicly declared that he paid porn star Stormy Daniels $130,000 to maintain discretion regarding her sexual relationship with Trump in 2006.

But paying a porn star to keep her trap shut makes as much sense as paying her to keep her legs closed, and she`s chomping at the bit to break her nondisclosure agreement and tell all for a hell of a lot more than $130,000.

Stormy Daniels isn`t her Christian name, she was christened Stephanie Gregor Clifford. It`s imperative that a porn star or a stripper adopt a sexy moniker like Wendy Wild, Summer Vixen or Jaden Hollywood. No dude wants to pay good money to receive a lap dance from a stripper named Betty Smith.

It`s par for the course for a porn actress to use a pseudonym, but why did Cohen use an alias (Denny Dennison) for Trump in the nondisclosure agreement?

Denny Dennison? Please! Denny Dennison is the name of a baseball player or an assembly line worker. When Anthony Weiner was trolling for underage girls online he used the fake name “Carlos Danger.” When Trump cavorts with porn stars and playboy centerfolds he should call himself “Wonder Mike” or “Dangerous Dick.”

I hope that Donald Trump aka Denny Dennison aka Fuc*ing Moron pays the price for paying off a porn star to keep quiet a few days before the 2016 election.
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Does Jesus Speak to Mike Pence?

“Buried under an avalanche of breaking news this month, Vice President Mike Pence gave an impassioned defense of religion.

`The overwhelming majority of Americans enjoy their faith, and we have all different kinds of faith in this country,` Pence said during an event broadcast on C-Span. `My Christianity is the most important thing in my life. I try and start every day by opening the good book. My wife and I try to have a prayer together before I leave every morning. I can honestly tell you my faith sustains me in all that I do.`

He was responding to a question about a joke comedian Joy Behar cracked during an episode of The View on ABC in which she compared Christianity to a mental illness.

`It`s one thing to talk to Jesus,` Behar said on the popular daytime talk show. `It`s another when Jesus talks to you.`”

Charlotte Observer

All Christians talk to Jesus, but only charlatan televangelists and mentally unbalanced believers claim that He literally answers them.

Sane evangelicals will say words to the effect of: I went to Jesus in prayer and I believe He is leading me to take this action.

But when a pious Christian declares “I asked the Lord if I should vote for Donald Trump, and Jesus not only ordered me to vote for him, but he also commanded me to wear a MAGA hat every day,” WATCH OUT! That wasn`t Jesus speaking to him, the wanker is misinterpreting the fart emanating from his arse for the word of God.

Folks who claim that Jesus speaks to them in an audible voice are sanctimonious morons of the worst kind.

I`m not a theologian or clairvoyant, but I know damn well that Jesus does not speak to Mike Pence. If Jesus ever speaks to Pence it will be to rebuke him for enabling and making excuses for the short-fingered vulgarian.

We need less holier-than-thou Christians declaring “Jesus spoke to me,” and more humble believers saying “I`m feeding the poor, and visiting prisoners in jail just like Jesus instructed me in the Gospels.”

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Jeff Sessions is the Creepiest Politician in History

Attorney General Jeff Sessions has been called everything from a Keebler elf to Mr. Magoo to a grey alien to a steaming pile of dung, and that`s what his friends in the Senate call him. Just kidding, even though he served for over two decades in that august body, he doesn`t have any friends there or anywhere else.

Sessions is the creepiest politician in history, he`s like a loathsome lizard that you are too afraid to touch so you just poke it when a ten-foot pole.

This vile creature is older than dirt, and it`s not too soon to be talking about his funeral. I hope it`s a closed casket funeral, he looks like a vampire now, God only knows what he will look like when he`s finally dead.

Donald Trump has been publicly shaming and humiliating Sessions ever since he recused himself from the investigation into Russia`s attempted meddling in the 2016 election.

I haven`t heard a single politician, pundit or preacher come to his defense, arguing that a man of such integrity and high moral character shouldn`t be subjected to such despicable treatment.

Because of course the slimy racist doesn`t have any integrity, people defend him on strictly political terms.

We worry whenever Trump blasts him, only because it may mean that he`s getting ready to fire him. As much as we loathe Sessions we don`t want to see him fired, because Trump would replace him with a lackey who would fire Special Counsel Robert Mueller.

Sessions endorsed Trump early in the 2016 presidential race, he travelled with the short-fingered vulgarian and got to know him very well. Sessions knew what a sick bastard Trump was, and he should never have agreed to serve as Attorney General.

I`m enjoying watching Trump torment Sessions on a daily basis.

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