impeach trump

Evangelical Mike Lindell ‘My Pillow’ Huckster Praises Donald Trump to High Heaven

“President Trump was chosen by God to run for the White House, My Pillow founder Mike Lindell said on the opening day of the annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) in suburban D.C.

Mr. Lindell, a 57-year-old businessman who advertises heavily on conservative outlets, repeatedly claimed during his nine-minute speech Thursday that Mr. Trump was picked by a higher power to seek the presidency.

`I see Donald Trump coming down an escalator and announcing he is running for president. For me it was a divine and miraculous moment – I felt something miraculous was about to unfold.`

`God answered our prayers, our millions of prayer, and gave us grace and a miracle happened on November 8, 2016,` Mr. Lindell said. `We were given a second chance and time granted to get our country back on track with our conservative values and getting people saved in Jesus` name.`”

Washington Times

Mike Lindell is the founder and CEO of My Pillow, Inc. a pillow manufacturing company. A pillow is a pillow is a pillow, but Lindell has managed to sell over 30 million pillows by convincing shmucks that his pillows have a patented design that will cure insomnia and make you sleep like a baby.

It`s no accident that Lindell runs his commercials primarily on Fox News, he rightly figures that people who believe the alternate facts on the conservative news network will swallow his lies that his pillows possess magical properties that will instantly lull you into a deep sleep.

These days Lindell is almost as well known for praising Trump as he is for extolling the virtues of his pillows.

Lindell said that when Trump came down the escalator to announce he was running for president, he knew that something miraculous was about to unfold. Some miracle, Trump branded Mexican immigrants as rapists and criminals.

After two years of corruption, racism, xenophobia, homophobia and deceit that is rampant in the Trump administration, Lindell`s adoration of the president hasn`t diminished.

At this year`s CPAC convention Lindell praised Trump to the high heavens, illustrating the fact that regardless what obscenity Trump commits he won`t lose the support of white evangelicals.

I wonder how white evangelicals sleep at night resting their empty heads on their My Pillows, while their Messiah is leading our democracy to ruin and damnation.

Read More:

https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2019/mar/1/mike-lindell-my-pillow-founder-says-donald-trump-w/

Dr. Sean Conley Says Donald Trump in Very Good Health! Poppycock!

“On Friday, the president made a four-hour visit to Walter Reed National Military Medical Center where his doctor, Sean Conley, performed his check-up with 11 other specialists.

In a statement, Conley said Trump `is in very good health and I anticipate he will remain so for the duration of his Presidency, and beyond.`”

Huffington Post

When you are a spokesperson, in any capacity, for a pathological liar the truth will seldom emanate from your lips. In the last two years we`ve witnessed how Donald Trump`s primary spokesperson, White House Press Secretary Sarah Sanders, spins and stretches the truth in an attempt to make sense of Trump`s contradictory and nonsensical statements.

Everyone in the Trump administration who has spoken on behalf of the president has lied to make the fuc*ing moron appear to be a rational person, if not quite a stable genius.

It should come as no surprise that Trump`s physician, Sean Conley, issued this statement:

“I am happy to announce the President of the United States is in very good health and I anticipate he will remain so for the duration of his Presidency, and beyond.”

You don`t have to be a physician or a stable genius to deduce that an obese septuagenarian with a history of heart disease, who never exercises and eats fat food on a regular basis isn`t long for this world.

With all due respect, Dr. Conley is a lying piece of crap and his medical license should be revoked.

The only question is what`s going to kill Trump first, the release of the Mueller Report dismissed as a “nothing burger” by his supporters or the zillionth hamburger that finally stops his ticker.

Read More:

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-physical-exam-results_us_5c5fc94ae4b0910c63f13435

White House Official: Donald Trump’s Orange Complexion a Result of Good Genes

Orange Racist

A senior administration official told the New York Times that Donald Trump`s complexion is the result of good genes.

The official spoke to the Times on the condition of anonymity, apparently he was too embarrassed to be credited with such an outrageous lie.

I must concede that there`s a remote chance that Trump`s orange complexion may be the result of a mutant gene, or perhaps his real father is an Oompa-Loompa.

You don`t have to be a stable genius or a dermatologist to deduce that Trump`s pumpkin-colored face is the result of spending hours on a tanning bed. The bright white half-moons under his eyes are a dead giveaway, can anyone say tanning goggles?

In her tell-all book former aide Omarosa Manigualt Newman said that her boss used a tanning bed often.

The default mode of every Trump administration official is to lie, every statement or tweet that emanates from the White House must be taken with a grain of salt.

Of course Trump`s orange complexion can be attributed to good genes, and he`s also in excellent physical health, of sound mind, and he`s blessed with the greatest brain in history.

Donald Trump Tweets Support for Bible Literacy Classes in Public Schools

Noted Bible Scholar

“President Donald Trump is endorsing a variety of Bible Literacy classes that have been introduced by state lawmakers across the country, including in Virginia.

`Numerous states introducing Bible Literacy classes, giving students the option of studying the Bible,` Trump wrote in a Monday morning tweet. `Starting to make a turn back? Great!`”

WHSV

Donald Trump who went to Liberty University, a prominent Christian evangelical university, to deliver a speech in which he cited “Two Corinthians 3: 17” is endorsing Bible Literacy classes – how rich!

I realize most of my readers are heathen so let me explain that for a Christian to refer to 2 Corinthians as “Two Corinthians” is equivalent to somebody who pretends to be a physics major saying that he can see black holes when he puts on his x-ray glasses.

If anyone needs to take a course in Bible literacy it`s Trump, perhaps Mike Pence can extricate his head from Trump`s rectum long enough to teach him a thing or two about the Bible.

The vice president and members of the Cabinet hold a weekly circle jerk disguised as a Bible study, Trump would join these wankers if he really cared about Bible literacy.

The Bible should be anathema in public schools, although the King James Version of the Bible is a literary masterpiece, and it could be taught as an optional course for students interested in English literature.

The only time Trump cracks open the Bible is when he uses it as a cover to hide from his wife the fact that he`s actually reading Penthouse Forum.

Read More:

https://www.whsv.com/content/news/Pres-Trump-tweets-in-support-of-Bible-literacy-classes-504983032.html

Melania Trump is as Clueless as Donald Trump is Cruel

Clueless Trophy Wife

Our work in the East wing continues into 2019 with online safety, fighting opioid abuse & supporting the well-being of children everywhere! #BeBest

Melania Trump Tweet

Melania is like a madam of a brothel who promises to fight human trafficking by donating five percent of her income to charities that fight the sexual exploitation of children.

I notice Melania dropped the anti-bullying part of her #BeBest campaign, I guess even she can no longer stomach the incongruity and hypocrisy of the spouse of the biggest bully in the world being an anti-bullying spokesperson.

If Melania really cared about the well-being of children everywhere, she could start by publicly calling out her husband for his ruthless and inhumane policies of separating children from their parents at our southern border, and housing migrant children in cages.

Bitch please, just take a short stroll from the East wing to the West wing and have a little talk with the president. Tell him to stop wasting precious time and financial resources trying to get his vanity wall built, and concentrate on fighting the opioid epidemic.

There are millions of Americans who would love to have just two minutes with Trump, and Melania who lives with him wastes her time posting ludicrous tweets and issuing statements supporting her racist, cruel and vindictive husband.

Anyone Who Wears a MAGA Cap Should Pay a Price

Racist Kid

Donald Trump`s red “Make America Great Again” (MAGA) hats are ubiquitous, you can`t go to a ballpark, parade or any public gathering without seeing scores of them.

But because something is popular it doesn`t mean that it`s innocuous or harmless; I would argue that the popularity of the MAGA hats are a symbol of the rise of racism and the decline of democracy.

The MAGA hats have become a hot-button topic, in the wake of the racially charged confrontation near Washington, D.C,`s Lincoln Memorial. Alyssa Milano famously called the caps the modern-day hoods of the Klu Klux Klan.

The standoff involving a group of male students from Covington Catholic High School, who were wearing MAGA hats, and Nathan Phillips, a Native American elder, has come to symbolize the racial divide.

During the 2016 presidential campaign the MAGA hats may have been a neutral symbol, but now they are synonymous with the blatantly racist Trump administration.

The MAGA hat amplifies the racist message that America was great in the 40`s and 50`s when America was predominantly white, and that it can be great again if we deport Mexican, Central American and Haitian immigrants and other riffraff.

Those MAGA kids (Is there a more horrifying phrase?) might as well been wearing KKK regalia while jeering the Native American elder.

You can`t wear a KKK hood in public without facing a visceral backlash, you risk being verbally if not physically assaulted.

Nobody should feel comfortable or safe wearing a MAGA hat, as an Hispanic I take it as a personal affront whenever I see a racist wearing a MAGA cap.

I don`t advocate violence, but I`m surprised that there haven`t been any incidents of MAGA cap-wearing racists assaulted by minorities. To wear a MAGA hat is an intolerable provocation, Trump supporters might as well wear a T-Shirt that says: I hate coons and spicks.

We can start making America Great Again by making it crystal clear that it`s not OK to wear A MAGA hat, and that if you wear one in public, you will pay a price.

Nancy Pelosi Has Spine of Steel Unlike Jell-O Man Paul Ryan! Take Heed Trump!

Strong Leader

Nancy Pelosi isn`t a physically imposing figure, the septuagenarian is of small stature, and she speaks in a trembling hoarse whisper. If she didn`t have to worry about how the public perceives her, she would probably dye her hair blue and use a walker to get around.

But looks can be deceiving, when Pelosi speaks people listen. The Speaker of the House has an ironclad control of her caucus, and any Democratic representative who doesn`t bend to her wishes will find himself or herself broken in pieces.

For the first two years of his administration Trump didn`t face any resistance to his controversial policies or racist comments from the Republican Speaker of the House. Paul Ryan was focused on passing tax reform legislation that benefited the wealthy and screwed the poor, and as long as Trump was onboard with his singular goal he overlooked his myriad moral failings.

Apparently Trump didn`t get the memo that the new sheriff has a spine of steel, and she`s going to fight him tooth and nail. Pelosi has questioned Trump`s manhood, called out his lies to his face, and banned him from delivering the State of the Union Speech in Congress until he ends his shutdown.

Trump needs to get it through his thick head that he`s met his match, and he would be well-advised to treat Pelosi as an equal. Pelosi isn`t going to give in to Trump`s temper tantrums, he needs to give up his pipe dream of building a wall and end his shutdown.

Like Eva Braun Sarah Huckabee Sanders Should Stay With Her Boss to the Bitter End

Liar

“Donald Trump has revealed he has told his press secretary Sarah Sanders not to bother with the traditional White House daily press briefing.

The US president posted on Twitter on Tuesday, suggesting that the press is unfair to his combative press secretary.

`The reason Sarah Sanders does not go to the `podium` much anymore is that the press covers her so rudely & inaccurately, in particular certain members of the press,` Mr. Trump wrote.

Independent

The White House daily press briefing is a misnomer, insomuch as Sanders held only one briefing in November and December, and none so far this year.

I rarely agree with anything Trump says or does, but I concur wholeheartedly that Sanders shouldn`t bother holding any more press briefings.

Sanders approaches the podium like a Catholic nun circa 1970 approaches her classroom of middle school students, with a surly expression just daring anyone to ask her a question of substance.

With her wonky eye and her eye shadow smeared on her pasty face Sanders is a repulsive figure, but even a homely person can be endearing if she would only smile. But Sanders is as stingy with her smiles as she is with the truth, and I doubt she has a single friend in the press corps.

The Washington Post reporter James Downie perfectly described Sanders as “lazily mendacious,” she doesn`t even make an effort to tell a convincing lie.

Sanders is in an impossible situation, how can anyone be a convincing spokesperson for a pathological liar? The answer is of course that`s a mission impossible, nobody with a shred of integrity and decency would agree to be the spokesperson for a vulgar, racist, know-nothing chronic liar.

Like Hitler`s longtime mistress Eva Braun, Sanders should stay with her boss to the bitter end. Like Braun she should avoid the spotlight, we are as sick and tired of her as we are of her boss.

Read More:
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/trump-sarah-huckabee-sanders-twitter-press-secretary-white-house-briefing-journalists-a8740906.html

Racist Donald Trump Has the Gall to Visit Martin Luther King Jr. Monument

Racist Moron

“Trump laid a wreath Monday morning at the foot of the memorial alongside Vice President Mike Pence before quickly returning to his motorcade.

“It`s a great day. A beautiful day. Thank you for being here. Appreciate it,” Trump told reporters as he stood before the large statue of King.

The President`s visit to the memorial site — which is overseen by the National Park Service — came on the 31st day of the government shutdown, which has left the National Park Service unfunded.”

CNN

Donald Trump and Mike Pence stood before the Martin Luther King Jr. memorial for about two minutes before making their getaway on the presidential motorcade.

Had Trump made a visit to a Confederate memorial he would have stayed there at least two hours because no doubt he would have been surrounded by very fine people.

The stable genius also left quickly out of resentment that there will never be a Trump monument in the National Mall.

The trip was unannounced because had people known that the brazen racist had the gall to attend the monument of the civil rights leader, he would have been meet with furious protesters.

I won`t even address the issue of Pence comparing Trump to King, that makes my blood boil.

Hope I hope and pray that Trump will be impeached and removed from office before we celebrate Martin Luther King`s holiday again.

Read More:

https://www.cnn.com/2019/01/21/politics/trump-mlk-day/index.html

Donald Trump’s Racist Claim About Prayer Rugs Found at the Border

Racist

“On Friday, Donald Trump tweeted the headline to a recent Washington Examiner story, which read: Border rancher we`ve found prayer rugs out here. It`s unreal. As the headline suggests, the story is about a New Mexico rancher who claims to have seen prayer rugs-typically used by observers of Islam-near the U.S.-Mexico border. After the headline, Trump added this: People coming across the Southern Border from many countries, some of which would be a big surprise.

Vanity Fair

In Donald Trump`s announcement speech he set a tone for his campaign and for his administration:

When Mexico sends its people, they`re not sending their best. They`re not sending you. They`re not sending you. They`re sending people that have lots of problems and they`re bringing those problems with us. They`re bringing drugs, they`re bringing crime, they`re rapists, and some, I assume, are good people.”

Trump`s anti-Hispanic immigration rhetoric has been a constant drumbeat during his administration. He ramped up the demonization of brown immigrants in the weeks before the midterm elections. Who can forget the infamous web video — produced for the Trump campaign – featuring the notorious Mexican national, Louis Bracamontes, who was convicted of killing two California deputies?

Trump is once again ratcheting up his anti-immigration rhetoric in a desperate attempt to convince the American public that he is right in refusing to agree to a compromise to fund the government that doesn`t include five billion for his beloved wall.

But this time Trump is adding anti-Muslim hate speech to his vitriolic mix of racism. The racist-in-chief tweeted a headline from the ultraconservative Washington Examiner that quoted a border rancher claiming to have found prayer rugs. Of course Trump realizes that his racist base will conflate Muslim prayer rugs with Islamic terrorists.

The Washington Examiner story is totally bogus, the rancher quoted in the article isn`t identified and she didn`t provide any photographic or video evidence of her magical prayer rugs. Those prayer rugs are as real as Trump`s proposed 30-foot concrete wall between Mexico and the United States.

We mustn`t allow Trump`s noxious anti-immigrant rhetoric to persuade us that we need a wall, and I hope the Democrats remain steadfast and won`t give him a dime for his accursed wall.

Read More:
https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2019/01/donald-trump-sicario

JANUARY 2019 ARCHIVES PAGE TWO:

January 2019 Archives Page Two

Why Did Donald Trump Have a Bandage on His Hand?

Wanker

“President Donald Trump is often called thin-skinned. It`s usually not meant literally.

But the back of Trump`s right hand was covered with an adhesive bandage during a Thursday trip to McAllen, Texas, with blood visibly seeping through the dressing. His hand was similarly bandaged again on Monday as he departed for a trip to New Orleans.

Armchair medics studying photos that circulated online this week leapt to dramatic conclusions. But the White House said on Tuesday that Trump sustained the injury while playing with his 12-year-old son.”

Politico

Americans are fascinated by Donald Trump`s grotesquely small hands, we are so familiar with the topography of his hands that we notice every liver spot. Naturally, we noticed that his right hand was covered with an adhesive bandage.

The White House claims that Trump sustained the injury while playing with his 12-year-old son, but we have learned to take every statement by the Trump administration with a grain of salt.

I don`t think Trump would recognize his young son, and I doubt he has ever played with him.

Social media has weighed in with dramatics reasons for his bandaged hand. So what on Earth caused Trump`s injury? Here are my more credible explanations:

Melania scratched his loathsome hand when he tried to cop a feel. Trump would be well-advised to stick to groping Ivanka.

It wasn`t Barron that Trump was roughhousing with but Mike Pence, and Pence accidentally scratched him during their sex play.

The bandage covers a boil. Every time Trump tells one thousand new lies the Almighty smites him with a boil, and his fat ass is already completely covered with boils.

The bandage covers a bite mark. Kellyanne Conway was sucking on Trump`s hand to drink his blood, believe it or not, without his blood she would look even more loathsome and decrepit.

But enough of Trump`s hand, it`s another part of his anatomy that I would love to injure, namely delivering a solid kick to his fat behind.

https://www.politico.com/story/2019/01/15/trump-health-bloody-hand-bandage-1102245

Despite Mike Pence’s Obsequiousness Donald Trump Treats Him Like Dirt

Mr. Brown Nose

When a woman signs a contract to work as an exotic dancer at a strip club she knows that she`s in for world of humiliation besides the inherent degradation of exposing her body parts to leering and ogling men for a few dollars.

She won`t have union representation, health insurance or any fringe benefits. The owner of the club will expect her to perform lap dances and other sexual favors for paying customers, ultimately she`s as disposable as a dirty and ripped pair of thongs.

When a person accepts a position in the Trump administration he knows that he is in for a world of humiliation. We have witnessed a parade of captains of industry, educators and politicians accept positions in Trump`s administration only to resign or be fired months later with their dignity and reputation in shatters. In Trump`s world respected career politicians and even generals are as disposable as one of his wives who has reached her expiration date.

Vice President Mike Pence is no exception to this rule despite his obsequiousness and servile attitude towards his master, he has repeatedly been humiliated by him.

Trump`s treatment of Pence during the shutdown is just the latest example. Trump initially signaled that he would back a funding bill without money for his precious wall, dispatching Pence to the Senate to tell Republicans that he was on board.

But as he is wont to do Trump later reversed himself after Ann Coulter and other far right loonies ripped him a new a-hole, leaving Pence looking pitiful, powerless and pathetic.

When the government shut down, Trump again dispatched Pence to the Senate, and he worked out a compromise deal with the Democrats of only $2.5 billion in wall funding.

But Trump made his loyal second-in-command look like a fool again, bellowing at a cabinet meeting that he wouldn`t accept anything less than $5.6 billion for his wall.

I have no sympathy for a stripper who is treated like dirt as a strip club, she knew the humiliations she would suffer in her chosen profession, and I have no sympathy for anyone who accepts a position in the White House, they knew full well that the stable genius is the mayor of Crazytown.

Donald Trump’s Oval Office Address: A Nation Vomits! Video!

Wanker

On Tuesday night Donald Trump delivered his first Oval Office address, the prime time speech was dedicated to his obsession of building a tower in Moscow, my bad, I mean building a wall on our southern border.

His words are of no consequence, the only things that ever emanate from his sphincter-shaped mouth are little white lies, huge ugly lies and ridiculous lies. I might as well try to parse the meanings of his farts after he gets an upset stomach from eating too many tacos and milkshakes.

Trump didn`t deviate from the script on the teleprompter, therefore he didn`t make any headlines for uttering idiotic statements as he is wont to do when he speaks extemporaneously.

There was only one stationary camera, and I had no choice but to focus on Trump`s face, and what a revolting countenance it is: the urine-colored cotton candy hair, the aforementioned sphincter-shaped mouth, the orange complexion, his double chin, and the pasty white circles around his eyes. The horror, the horror!

Although the words Trump spoke don`t matter, the way he spoke does warrant attention. Trump sometimes took no pauses between phrases, as if he wanted to get through with the damn thing as quickly as possible. Let`s just say that he`s not a master of phrasing like the late great Frank Sinatra.

Then there`s that annoying sniffling that always makes an appearance when the great bloviator makes an important speech. They say Trump doesn`t drink or do drugs, but I wouldn`t be surprised if he likes coke the drug as much as he likes Coke the soda.

If you didn`t watch the speech last night, and you have a masochistic streak, here`s a link:

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

Harry Reid: Donald Trump is Amoral

Amoral Bastard

“Former Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid called President Donald Trump an amoral person and said he`s the worst President we`ve ever had in an interview with The New York Times Magazine published Wednesday.

`Trump is an interesting person. He is not immoral but is amoral,` Reid, a Nevada Democrat, said in the interview. `Amoral is when you shoot someone in the head, it doesn`t make a difference. No conscience.`

Reid, who retired in 2017 at the end of his fifth term, told the magazine that Trump `is without question the worst president we`ve ever had.`”

CNN

Harry Reid the former Senate Majority Leader and former boxer rarely pulls his punches, and he delivered a haymaker punch to Donald Trump`s reputation in an interview with the New York Times Magazine.

Reid has terminal pancreatic cancer and he will soon die, so he held nothing back in his devastating assessment of Trump.

Reid is spot on: Trump is amoral. He lacks a moral compass, he`s unconcerned with the rightness or wrongness of his actions, and he cares only about how they will benefit him.

I would go a step further than Reid, Trump is a sociopath. He`s totally unconcerned about how his draconian immigration policies will affect poor people dreaming of a better life in America because he has no empathy for anyone, and certainly not for people of color.

If Trump shot and killed someone in the middle of Fifth Avenue he wouldn`t feel any remorse or regret, he`s a soulless monster.

Trump is an aberration, a vulgar and racist sociopath who craps on social norms, the Constitution, the teachings of the Bible, and the rule of law.

But what about the 30-something percent of the American electorate that would support him even if he wantonly shot someone in the middle of Fifth Avenue?

We`re not talking about just one sick and twisted individual, but about millions of white evangelicals who put political expediency above the religious views they profess to hold dear.

I pray Trump will be impeached and removed from office in the near future, but how do we as a society rid ourselves of millions of degenerate white evangelicals?

Read More:

https://www.cnn.com/2019/01/02/politics/harry-reid-trump/index.html

Donald Trump’s Incredibly Shrinking Wall

Wanker

Donald Trump is suffering from an embarrassing shrinkage problem that only George Constanza could understand. I`m not referring to the puny presidential pecker, if that worm shrank you would need a microscope to see it.

I`m talking about Trump`s incredibly shrinking wall, during the presidential campaign he spoke of it in such lofty terms, that his base imagined a colossal structure that would rival the Great Wall of China.

Trump described his proposed wall as 1,000 miles long, made of concrete slabs, and rising 35 to 40 feet in the air.

And of course he repeated ad nauseam that Mexico would pay for the damned thing. Mexico will erect a phallic symbol taller than the Washington Monument in honor of Trump before it finances his boondoggle.

Trump has given up on the idea of having our Southern neighbor pay for the wall, and now his is holding nearly 1 million federal employees hostage in a bid to have taxpayers fund his monstrosity.

Trump`s rhetoric on his proposed wall between the United States and Mexico has changed, nowadays he`s just as likely to call it a fence, steel slabs or a barrier as he is to refer to it as a wall.

The mighty 1,000 mile wall has been downsized to a paltry 500 miles, and he might eventually settle for a 10 mile bead curtain, made in China.

The Democrats shouldn`t give an inch, let Trump explain to his fanatical base that the wall was just a rhetorical device, and that it will never be built.

The World Will End Not With a Bang or a Whimper But With a Trump Tweet

Stable Genius

In 2018 Donald Trump famously referred to himself as a “stable genius,” but his words and actions manifestly prove thats he`s the polar opposite: an unstable fucking moron.

In fact, Trump is so unstable and volatile, and he relies only on his own counsel, that many fear that he might start a nuclear war if a foreign leader offends his tender sensibilities.

Fortunately, contrary to popular belief there is no red button that our lunatic commander-in-chief can press to usher in Armageddon. He can`t just push a button and nuclear-tipped missiles will fly to Moscow, Beijing, Ottawa or Paris. Cadet Bone Spurs can`t unilaterally launch a nuclear strike, he requires military personnel to carry out such an order.

However, the putative Leader of the Free World can start a nuclear war with a tweet. We must never forget that when tensions with North Korea were at a fever pitch he practically goaded Kim Jong-un into striking Guam with a missile.

The world may end, my friends, not because of geopolitical tensions between the Russian Federation and the United States or due to economic tensions between American and China – the world may end simply because Trump`s tiny fingers pecking away at the Twitter machine ticked-off a mad dictator with a nuclear arsenal.

Happy New Year!

Robert Paul Reyes: My New Year’s Resolution, Impeach Trump

Impeach Trump Now

Every year for about two decades I have posted my Top Ten New Year`s Resolutions online, and they are invariably self-centered: Lose weight, exercise, and give up certain unnamed vices.

At this critical juncture in America`s history, I have only one resolution, and it`s not self-centered, it concerns all of us: to fight for the impeachment and removal from office of Donald Trump.

I am more than willing to gain weight and forego exercise as I dedicate myself to my mission from God: get rid of Trump by any means necessary.

It`s fortuitous that my renewed desire to impeach Trump coincides with the Democrats gaining control of the House. The time is now, we can`t afford to wait until Special Counsel Robert Mueller`s report is released to begin impeachment proceedings.

The unnecessary shutdown, the attacks on the independent judiciary, the vitriol showered on the free press, the politicization of the military, the demonization of black and brown immigrants, the assault on the rule of law, the degradation of social norms. Congress must act now. Impeach Trump.

I live on a fixed income, and I don`t have any discretionary income to support organizations committed to the impeachment of Trump, but I will use my writing talent, such as it is, to advocate for his impeachment.

Melania Trump is as Mysterious as a Russian Topless Bartender at a Strip Club

Trophy Wife

If you ask me there`s no mystery about Melania Knauss, she`s a former nude model who struck faux gold when she married real estate magnate Donald Trump.

But her life before she became Trump`s third trophy wife is shrouded in mystery.

We know that soon after she stopped wearing a training bra she started her modeling career, but is she a college graduate?

We know that up until Trump`s shocking election victory her personal website claimed that she obtained a degree in design and architecture at an unnamed university in Slovenia.

We should take anything Melania says with a grain of salt, she`s as well acquainted with the truth as her husband.

The truth is that Melania dropped out of the University of Ljubljana in Slovenia after one year to dedicate herself to her nude modeling career. At least she didn`t claim that she graduated from Trump University, she may not be a college graduate but she`s not that dumb.

Melania was forced to update her site to read “paused her studies to advance her modeling career in Milan and Paris.” Another Trumpian lie, she never resumed her studies and there`s no proof that she ever sashayed down a catwalk in Paris or Milan.

It`s frequently reported that she`s fluent in five languages: Slovene, English, German, Serbian and French, but I bet that the only thing she can say in German, Serbian and French is “Yes, Mr. Millionaire I`d love to see your hotel room.” Think about it, she`s been in America for decades, but she speaks in broken English.

It`s obvious Melania isn`t a fluent English speaker, and she can barely write in English, which explains why she has a penchant for plagiarizing the speeches of Michelle Obama.

There is as much mystery to Melania as there is about your favorite Russian topless bartender at a strip club.

Donald Trump is a Grinch! Yes, Coleman, There is a Santa Claus!

Donald Grinch

Donald Trump spoke to children whose calls to NORAD had been patched through to the White House lines – there`s no way the Stable Genius can screw up this photo-op, right?

In front of a crackling fire and between two Christmas trees even a Grinch like Trump should have been filled with the Christmas spirit.

But in a Christmas Eve call, Trump asked 7-year-old Coleman whether she still believes in Santa Claus.

“Are you still a believer in Santa? Because at 7, it`s marginal, right?” Trump asked Coleman.

If a seven-year-old child calls a Santa Claus hotline, you don`t have to be a Stable Genius to deduce that the wee innocent still believes in Santa.

Dear God let`s hope that calls to a suicide prevention hotline aren`t routed to the Oval Office, for another photo-op.

I can only imagine the conversation as Trump takes a call from a teenager contemplating suicide:

Justin from San Francisco: I can`t do anything right! What`s the point? I really want to kill myself!

Trump: Jump off the Golden Gate Bridge you freaking loser! No big loss, I doubt a liberal loser like you was planning on voting for me in 2020 anyway.

Yes, Coleman, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as crass commercialism and greed exists in this capitalist state. Go to a mall, if one still exists in your town, and you will see me there.

Merry Christmas to little Coleman and to all my readers! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Official White House Christmas Portrait an Abomination From the Pit of Hell

Creepy Portrait

Melania Trump just posted this year`s official White House Christmas portrait, and there`s nothing homey or Christmassy about it.

I`m not a photographer, I can`t even take a decent selfie, but I can spot a bad photo when I see one.

The image has a surreal non-human quality, I wonder if the photographer was the famous Sophia the Robot.

The presidential couple looks two dimensional, almost like cardboard cutouts.

They are looking at the camera with big smiles, obviously the smiles aren`t a result of the warmth of their relationship, but the automatic reflex of politicians facing cameras.

They are holding hands, something Melania is loath to do with her husband, maybe the holding hands was photoshopped.

Melania`s infamous blood-red Christmas trees are nowhere to be seen, they posed in a room with normal-looking Christmas trees, except for the disturbing fact that the red Christmas balls aren`t hanging from the trees but are littered around the stumps.

The couple`s son, Barron, is not pictured, he was probably hanging out with a Secret Service agent or whoever is responsible for raising him.

The image is devoid of any religious symbolism: no Baby Jesus, manger scene or any other traditional Christian object.

Trump doesn`t even pretend to be an evangelical, no problem though, his white evangelical base still worships him.

I found myself unconsciously making the sign of the cross after looking at this execrable photograph.

Donald Trump’s Wall Will Never be Built

Orange Clown

“Anytime you hear a Democrat saying that you can have good Boarder Security without a Wall, write them off as just another politician following the party line. Time for us to save billions of dollars a year and have, at the same time, far greater safety and control.”

Donald Trump Tweet

Donald Trump`s Twitter feed gives us a glimpse into his psyche, he tweets about what keeps him awake at night. The only thing that would devastate him more than the wall not being built would be if a terrorist attack brought down Trump Tower.

The wall is a macho thing for the stable genius, to compensate for his tiny hands he desperately wants to build a high wall between the United States and Mexico to protect his white base from unwashed brown migrants.

Trump is so desperate and eager to share his toxic thoughts on social media that he doesn`t bother asking one of his aides to check his messages for typos or grammatical mistakes.

This tweet isn`t the smocking gun that proves that Trump is a fuc*ing moron, there have been literally hundreds that expose his stupidity, vulgarity and evil nature.

It`s just another in a string of tweets that illustrates why we must get rid of the idiot by any means necessary.

All Americans, including boarders, will rest easy only when Trump is convicting for his myriad crimes and is incarcerated in a federal prison with high walls.

Melania Trump’s Red Christmas Trees Don’t Represent the Blood of Jesus Christ!

The Christmas tree is an ancient pagan phallic symbol. When Christians trim the tree with glass ball ornaments and tinsel, they are paying homage to the pagan fertility symbol, with the tree representing the phallus, the glass ball ornaments the testicles and the tinsel the semen.

When Melania Trump defiled the White House by lining a hall with blood-red Christmas trees, evangelicals came to her defense claiming that the early church would dye the trees red to symbolize the blood of Jesus & the resurrection.

Read my essay: Melania Trump`s Evil Bloody-red Christmas Trees

http://thesop.org/story/20181128/melania-trumps-evil-bloodyred-christmas-trees.html

Bullshit! This religious justification for the execrable red Xmas Trees has been debunked by Snopes. Com and Politifact. Evangelicals try to justify and explain Trump`s myriad vulgarities and obscenities, if the stable genius hung a string of used condoms around his neck they would claim that they represent Christmas stockings.

White evangelicals might as well replace their traditional Christmas trees with giant red dildos, and sing carols to their savior, Donald Trump.

Jim Carrey’s Latest Anti-Trump Cartoon is Another Masterpiece

Jim Carrey the brilliant comic thespian and genius artist has been chronicling the corruption and ineptitude of the Trump administration with his masterpiece cartoons. I look forward to a new Carrey cartoon as much as I once waited eagerly for a new Carrey movie comedy.

In the latest Carrey masterwork he depicts Trump as an infant inside the brain of acting Attorney General Matthew Whitaker.

The cartoon is captioned “Baby on Board,” and the Man Baby is controlling the levers inside Whitaker`s huge head.

Whitaker is as unqualified to be Attorney General as Trump is unqualified to be president. Trump elevated the partisan hack to his position only because he can control him in a way he never could Deputy Attorney General Rod Jay Rosenstein.

Thank goodness the Democrats have regained control of the House, they will make sure that the Whitaker puppet will be unable to derail Special Counsel Robert Mueller`s investigation.

Keep up the good work Jim Carrey, you can bet Trump throws a tantrum whenever you post a new cartoon online.

Link to pic of Carrey masterpiece:

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/jim-carrey-donald-trump-baby-on-board_us_5bf9247be4b03b230fa1baf0

Texans Sick and Tired of ‘Beautiful Ted Cruz’

During the 2016 presidential campaign Donald Trump mercilessly attacked Ted Cruz as `Lying Ted`. For good measure he also disparaged the looks of his wife, and claimed that his father was involved in the conspiracy to murder John F. Kennedy.

Naturally the press was curious how Trump could switch gears and enthusiastically support Cruz`s Senate campaign. Journalist Jonathan Karl asked Trump if Ted Cruz was still Lyin` Ted and he replied: He`s not Lyin` Ted anymore. He`s Beautiful Ted.

The nickname “Lyin` Ted” stuck like glue to Cruz, because mendacity is the essence of the Senator from Texas. It takes one to know one, and Trump christened Cruz with the perfect moniker.

I don`t think the new handle is going to stick, can you imagine a Texas redneck saying, “I`m going to vote for Beautiful Ted.”?

There is nothing beautiful about Cruz, his heart is the size and the texture of a kidney stone, his mind is a black hole where good thoughts disappear, and his face has been compared to everyone from Dracula to Grandpa Munster to ALF.

I doubt even Cruz`s homely wife has called him Beautiful Ted, Slimy bastard maybe, Zodiac Killer a-hole maybe, but Beautiful Ted, never!

If Beto O`Rourke beats Cruz I will be so overjoyed that I will call Cruz beautiful, and French kiss the ugly bastard.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter:

Donald Trump is a Functional Illiterate

Donald Trump has the grammar skills of a dyslexic fifth grader, and listening to his speeches on a regular basis is guaranteed to knock off twenty points from your IQ.

Trump`s lexicon is as thin as a pamphlet, and it would take an extraterrestrial only a couple of days to learn how to converse with him.

The Stable Genius saturates his conversation with adjectives, but his vocabulary contains only a few adjectives that we have become intimately acquainted with: bigly, huge, beautiful, incredible, and tremendous.

The presidential wordsmith has a penchant for overusing a few annoying phrases: fake news, witch hunt, con job, and his favorite “believe me,” ironic for a pathological liar who is the least believable person in the universe.

The short-fingered vulgarian occasionally utters profanities in public, but by all accounts his private discourse is littered with obscenities. It`s axiomatic that the more grammar-challenged a person is, the more he resorts to vulgarities.

Let me conclude this essay by telling Trump what I think of him in Trumpspeak:

Believe me, you are a fuc*ing moron with a huge propensity for lying and exaggerating. It will be a beautiful day when you are impeached, and removed from office. I can`t wait to christen your grave with golden showers, that will be the most glorious day in history.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes