nativity scene

An Evangelical’s Nativity Scene Featuring Baby Trump

“And behold, the Evangelicals of America made a golden Trump, and they did bow down and worship him.”

Stephen King

Bestselling novelist Stephen King is the undisputed master of the horror genre, naturally he recognizes a terrifying freak when he sees one in real life. King regularly mocks and criticizes Trump on Twitter and in his latest tweet he reminds us that evangelicals worship Trump as their messiah.

King’s tweet makes me ponder what a white evangelical’s nativity scene would look like:

The focal point would be the baby Trump wearing diapers made out of dollar bills, his countenance bright red because he was born constipated and full of shit.

Instead of three wise men bearing gifts there are three strippers raining golden showers on the demonic baby.

In lieu of sheep and lambs there are filthy pigs wallowing in the mud next to the infant Trump.

In the place of a heavenly angel announcing the birth of the Savior there’s a demon proclaiming the birth of the antichrist.

If you think I forgot about the mother of the orange messiah, she’s one of the pigs wallowing in the mud.

The father isn’t in this nativity scene from hell, because he got his ass out of Dodge, he wanted no part of this abomination.

May the good Lord forgive me for penning this horrifying essay, but blame it on King for inspiring me.

Nativity Scene Gone to the Dogs

“A woman has been overwhelmed by the response to her dog nativity scene after a photograph posted on Twitter was liked more than 83,000 times.

Jo Kingston, who runs a dog walking and grooming business in Mountsorrel, Leicestershire, said `it`s gone bonkers`.

BBC

A Nativity Scene fills Christians with a feeling of hope and promise that into this world of sin and sorrow a Savior is born.

Non-Christians may walk by a Nativity Scene and consider it just another symbol of the Holiday Season.

But nobody can look at this blessed pic of a Doggie Nativity Scene and not exclaim: IT`S A WONDERFUL WORLD!

Merry Christmas!

Pic of Dog Nativity Scene:

http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-leicestershire-42430724

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Cat Curled Up in Nativity Scene Captivates Internet

“A New York City neighborhood cat got into the holiday spirit.

The feline was squatting in Jesus` manger in a Nativity scene last Sunday, and photographer Brooke Goldman noticed it while walking her boyfriend to a subway station in the borough of Queens.”

ABC News

There are several Nativity scenes in my neighborhood, and they all feature Mary and Joseph, the baby Jesus and barnyard animals, but not a single one includes a cat.

A Nativity scene that substitutes the baby Jesus with a cat may not be kosher, but in my opinion it would be a purr-fect manger display.

A porcelain doll in a manger scene doesn`t exactly fill me with thoughts of the divine, but a warm kitty nestled in a manger scene fills my heart with goodwill.

I don`t expect most people to trade their baby Jesus for a warm kitten, but I guarantee you will be filled with the Christmas spirit after seeing these pics of the cat curled up in the Nativity scene:

http://abcnews.go.com/Lifestyle/cat-spotted-neighborhood-nativity-scene-delighting-internet/story?id=51649825

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Hipster Nativity Scene Depicts Birth of Jesus Christ in 2016

“A pair of brothers crafted a Hipster Nativity set, depicting a modern version of the birth of Jesus in the manger.

The $130 Nativity set brings the biblical Christmas scene into the 21st century as Joseph and Mary take selfies with the newborn Jesus in a stable with a solar-powered roof, the Three Wisemen on segways bearing packages from Amazon and the shepherd looking at his cell phone.”

UPI

The Nativity scene certainly needed to be updated for the 2st century, but why did the brothers include an invention (Segway) that was introduced in 2001 with much fanfare as the replacement for the automobile, but turned out to be a huge sales disappointment?

And why on Earth are there barnyard animals in the updated Nativity set? It`s the 21st century dammit, and cats rule online and in real life. There should be a cat cuddling next to the Baby Jesus.

Speaking of the Baby Jesus, he should be an orange-faced replica of Baby Trump. I`m sorry if I offended anybody`s religious sensibilities, but Trump as Baby Jesus makes as much sense as Trump as Leader of the Free World.

It would have been a nice touch if Baby Jesus had been depicted wearing a “Black Lives Matter” onesie.

All in all a nice job by the brothers, and the hefty price tag is very much 21st century.

Pic of Nativity scene:

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2016/12/16/Hipster-Nativity-set-depicts-birth-of-Jesus-in-2016/1371481905903/?spt=sec&or=on

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes