circle jerk

House Republicans in a Circle Jerk While the World is on Fire

Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy was unceremoniously ousted by a handful of MAGA congressmen not for the crime of being corrupt or incompetent, but because he committed the unpardonable sin of reaching a bipartisan deal to avoid a government shutdown, which would have devasted our fragile economy.

It was the first time that the House of Representatives had voted out its Speaker. In the weeks since Republicans, who resemble the Keystone Kops on crack, have been unable to elect a new Speaker, paralyzing the House. Left to their own devices Republican congresspersons would spend all their time in a circle jerk, pleasuring themselves before a portrait of their messiah, Donald Trump, instead of legislating and doing the job they were elected to perform.

American government is a dumpster fire; indeed, the whole world is on fire, and we need the House open for business so they can address Russia’s war on Ukraine and the Israel/Hamas war before the world ends with a big bang.

In this critical juncture in world history, a stumbling and bumbling, incoherent and incomprehensible, President Joe Biden traveled to Israel to assert his role as Leader of the Free World. Yeah, right.

I’m not waiting for the Rapture to rapture me out of this evil and crazy world, but I am pleading with Scotty to beam me the hell out of here. There’s got to be intelligent life somewhere out there.

Will Trump Cultists Hold a Circle Jerk Over His Mug Shot?

“Former President Donald Trump is expected to surrender on charges connected to 2020 election interference at a notorious Georgia jail on Thursday — and a local sheriff has promised that the ex-commander-in-chief will be treated just like everyone else accused of a crime in the state.”

Business Insider

Twice-impeached former President Donald J. Trump has been indicted four times, but in deference to his status as a former president, he hasn’t been forced to do a perp walk or undergo the humiliation of having a mug shot taken.

But there’s a new Sheriff in town, and Fulton County Sheriff Patrick Labat has vowed to treat Trump like any other indicted defendant. Although special accommodations may be made for Trump when he turns himself in, he will be weighed, fingerprinted and a mug shot will be taken.

The last time Trump had a physical exam when he was president there was widespread skepticism when his personal physician listed his weight at 239 pounds. In the county jail a Trump lackey won’t be tipping the scales in his favor and I’m betting he will weigh close to 300 pounds.

The process of taking Trump’s fingerprints is going to be incredibly embarrassing because jail officials will have a devil of a time fingerprinting his grotesquely tiny fingers.

Then there will be the demeaning and humiliating experience of having his mug shot taken like a common criminal. Trump’s MAGA cultists may hang his mug shot in a place of honor in their living room, but normal people will think twice about voting for a presidential candidate who has a mug shot.

The intake area of the notorious Fulton County Jail is huge, and detainees are typically processed in front of others who are also being processed. If there’s a God in heaven Trump will be fingerprinted, weighed and have his mug shot taken in front of other criminals.

Trump’s Circle Jerk of Grifters, Conspiracy Theorists and Sideshow Freaks

Donald Trump’s chaotic and dysfunctional term is ending not with a whimper but with a bang that threatens to decimate the Republican party and destroy our constitutional democracy.

The waning days of the Trump regime encapsulates and epitomizes all the corrupt excess of his four years in power.

Did anyone really expect the unhinged narcissist to concede with humility and grace after suffering a popular vote and electoral college landslide defeat to Joe Biden?

Trump is ending his term with an orgy of assaults on democracy, denials of the coronavirus pandemic, groveling before Russia and pardons of political cronies and war criminals.

In a trademark bombshell Trump torpedoed the fragile bipartisan pandemic relief bill that took months to craft. The mammoth legislation was put together without any input from him, but that didn’t stop him from blowing it up with demands that are unacceptable to Republicans in the House and the Senate.

Trump inner circle is compromised of grifters, conspiracy theorists and sideshow freaks like Rudy Giuliani. Everyone else is excluded from his circle jerk, and they are wanking away with abandon and giving the middle finger to the American public.

Let’s hope and pray that Joe Biden will be able to clean and disinfect the unholy mess these wankers are leaving behind.

Donald Trump Spends Good Friday Tweeting about Circle Jerks

How did the evangelical hero, Donald Trump, spend Good Friday? Did he meditate on the resurrection of Jesus Christ as an inspiration for his own spiritual rebirth in the wake of the publication of the redacted version of the Mueller Report that painted a damning picture of the mendacity, corruption and pettiness that’s endemic in his administration? Obviously that’s a rhetorical question,

Trump is as introspective as a steaming hot pile of dog feces. Trump spent Good Friday indulging in his favorite hobbies, golfing and tweeting. Let’s examine Trump’s holiday tweets:

.agreed to testify, it was not necessary for me to respond to statements made in the “Report” about me, some of which are total bullshit & only given to make the other person look good (or me to look bad). This was an Illegally Started Hoax that never should have happened.

Leaving aside the use of an expletive at a time of the year when a Christian’s speech should be more circumspect than usual, Trump’s tweet is well, bullshit. The Mueller probe wasn’t illegally started, it wasn’t a hoax, and it wasn’t total bullshit.

This is why nobody but the @DNC circle jerk takes this seriously anymore.  That front page is a disgrace but in its disgrace, many wake up. Thank God for @realDonaldTrump for waking millions of Americans up to the truth about the @washingtonpost

This is a tweet the stable genius retweeted by some unknown Trump sycophant named Scott Atkins. I don’t have to explain to white evangelicals the meaning of a circle jerk, their church services resemble a circle jerk where everyone climaxes over the magnificence of Donald J. Trump. Although a more fitting tribute to Trump would be a golden showers orgy.

But to those who aren’t as morally corrupt as evangelicals, I may have to explain that “circle jerk” means mutual masturbation among three or more individuals.

I wish white evangelicals a blessed Happy Easter, may they attain the highest level of spirituality in their circle jerks and golden showers orgies!

Meryl Streep’s Golden Globes Speech Exemplifies Why Donald Trump Won

By now everyone has heard about, if not seen live on NBC or on YouTube, Meryl Streep`s speech at the Golden Globes where she railed against Donald Trump, and specifically criticized him for allegedly mocking a disabled reporter.

Streep who is as renowned for her leftist politics as she is for her acting acumen was bathed with praise and adoration by the audience at the Golden Globes event. It`s not surprising that the Hollywood crowd, which was probably 99.99% liberal, experienced a collective orgasm during her speech, but now everybody from all ends of the political spectrum is weighing in.

Donald Trump of course reacted almost immediately on Twitter describing Streep as “one of the most over-rated actresses in Hollywood,” and “a Hillary flunky.” He also denied for the hundredth time that he mocked New York Times reporter Serge F. Kovaleski`s disability.

Streep is one of the most acclaimed actresses in Hollywood, she` been nominated for 19 Academy Awards, won three Oscars, and a truckload of other awards. But it`s also true that she`s the most overrated actress in Hollywood, if she defecated on film, critics would praise her form and technique, and give her a special Academy Award for the best bowel movement in the history of cinema.

Streep is a Hillary Flunky, she heaped praise on Hillary at the Democratic convention, and she most likely delivered an Oscar-worthy crying performance when Hillary lost.

Streep is the reason why a know-nothing clown won the presidency — regular Americans are sick and tired of elitist privileged celebs who live in an insular world looking down on us for not embracing their liberal Gospel.

I will join Meryl Streep, Hillary Clinton, Elizabeth Warren and Rosie O`Donnell in a circle jerk, before I take Streep`s blathering seriously.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes