Cats Love Playing Hide and Seek

Cats have a penchant for disappearing and then magically reappearing, unfazed by the havoc they`ve caused.

I have a tiny house and you`d think my 25-pound cat, Tico, would be unable to hide from me for more than a few seconds. But on more than a dozen occasions I`ve torn apart my house looking for the obese feline, and only when I`m exhausted from my search will Tico emerge from God knows where.

I don`t know where my cats disappear when I can`t find them, perhaps they can slide in and out of alternate universes, or maybe the mysterious creatures have the ability of becoming invisible when they want some privacy.

This essay is a warning for new cat owners, if you can`t find your furry critter, hold off on posting a missing cat message on Facebook. Stop looking for the mischievous kitty, plop down on the sofa and watch TV, and I guarantee he will emerge out of the void.

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‘Cat Grandpa’ Goes Viral After Pet Shelter Shares Pics of Him Sleeping With Cats

“Terry Lauerman of De Pere has become an online sensation this week after the pet shelter where he volunteers shared photos showing the 75-year-old – who has since been dubbed The Cat Grandpa – fast asleep while snuggling several of the shelter`s cats.

Safe Haven Pet Sanctuary Inc.`s Facebook post about Lauerman has garnered over 80,000 reactions and 22,000 shares since Tuesday afternoon – and those numbers continue to climb. The post also made its way onto social news sites like Reddit and BuzzFeed, and was covered Thursday by Good Morning America.

We are so lucky to have a human like Terry. Terry just came along one day and introduced himself. He said he`d like to brush cats. Eventually it became everyday. He brushes all of the cats, and can tell you about all of their likes and dislikes. He also accidentally falls asleep most days. We don`t mind – Cats need this! Terry is a wonderful volunteer.”

Green Bay Press Gazette

I wish I could post a video or photograph that would go viral, but I`m not as photogenic as a cute kitten, I don`t have any discernible talents, I don`t possess a grotesquely large butt capable of breaking the Internet, and I`m too lazy to learn a trick that will elicit views.

However I love taking naps with my cats, and maybe if I post a pic of Tico, my 25-pound kitty, plopped on my head as I`m taking a nap, we`ll become Internet sensations.

I`m jealous of The Cat Grandpa, he doesn`t clean the litter boxes or perform any other useful service at the pet shelter, all he does is brush the cats and take naps with them, and suddenly he`s a geriatric pimp.


Move over Cat Grandpa, I`m going to dethrone you as the most lovable cat-loving old codger on the Internet.

Does Your Cat Hate You?

I don`t need to hire a soothsayer or a pet psychologist to determine if my pooch, Mandy loves me. Mandy loves me to death, her love is manifest in her sloppy kisses, wagging of her tail, and the love-struck look in her eyes whenever I`m with her.

Dogs wear their hearts on their sleeves, but you never know where you stand with your feline companions. I love my kitties, Tico and Ebony, but I sometimes wonder if they hate me, and if they`re plotting to kill me. Mind you I`ve had Ebony for 18 years, and Tico for about five years, and I still don`t know if they would miss me if I got run over by a Mack truck.

An expression vaguely resembling love, or at least an absence of hatred, flits across their face, and I rush over to pet them, and they reward me with a hiss or a scratch.

Even though I don`t know if my love is reciprocated, I still adore my cats. I suspect that they really do love me, but have issues expressing their affection.

I am dealing with serious medical issues and I take a nap every day before going to work, and I call Tico, and he always, without fail, snuggles next to my face, and naps with me. If that isn`t love …

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Cat Lady Needs to Get a Clue!

“DEAR JOAN: My cat has started waking me up at 4 a.m. every morning to be fed. She won`t take no for an answer. She walks all over me, swats my nose, meows in my ear and knocks things off my dresser if I don`t respond.

If I try locking her out of my room, she scratches at the door and howls. She won`t stop. She once continued with that behavior for two hours until I finally gave up and fed her.

What can be done to stop this? I love my cat, but 4 in the morning, especially on a weekend, is too much.”

G.G., Concord

The Mercury News

Dear Clueless Cat Lady: Get a clue!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a biological imperative to risk getting run over to discover that was on the other side.

Why is your kitty waking you up at an ungodly hour in the morning to be fed? It`s not because she is a diabetic with cravings that must be sated, like all cats she`s a jerk, plain and simple. I love my cats to death, but I accept that jerk-life behavior is as normal as purring and meowing.

What can be done to stop this? Nothing! Absolutely Nothing! A cat is the master of any home, especially a home where the only occupant is a cat lady. A feline expects nothing less than to be catered to at any hour of the day or night.

Your cat literally walks all over you, get used to it, that`s a small price to pay for having a kitty in your home.

Read More:

https://www.mercurynews.com/2018/09/04/why-does-my-cat-wake-me-up-at-4-a-m-demanding-to-be-fed/

Taking Your Kitty to the Vet? Calm Your Cat With a New Feline Radio Station!

“No cat relishes a trip to the vet. Being confined to a cramped carrier and hauled out of the house is a stress-inducing experience for most of our feline friends. But turning on the radio could help. Whiskas recently launched a radio station devoted to playing soothing sounds to keep cats feeling tranquil on the way to the veterinarian, according to Little Black Book.

Cat Calm Radio plays music by David Teie, a composer who writes music targeted at cats` preferences. His songs feature sounds that will be familiar and soothing to cats, like beats similar to the sound of suckling milk, played at the frequencies cats use to communicate with each other. Researchers have found that cats respond better to his cat-specific tunes than to human music.”

Mental Floss

I`ve owned cats all of my adult life, and if there`s anything I`ve learned about feline psychology is that they hate the trip to the vet. A ten-minute trip to the vet feels like an eternity, as soon as you place your kitty in a carrier and place him in your car he turns into Satan`s familiar.

When I drove from Oakland, CA to my new home in Lynchburg, VA I took my cat, Patches with me, but I wouldn`t have survived the trip with my sanity intact, had I not administered a tranquilizing pill to her every day.

If you think you are familiar with your new pussy cat`s vocalizations, just wait until you take him to the vet for the first time, he will unleash a cacophony seemingly emanating from the pit of hell.

You can whisper, “Oh pussy it`s going to be OK” all you want, put it won`t calm the savage beast. He won`t transform back into the purring sweetheart that you love until he`s back home.

Thanks God Whiskas has launched a radio station devoted to playing soothing sounds to keep kitties tranquil on the way to the vet. Music has a calming effect on me, after a bad day at work I will play a Sade CD and by the time I`m home I`ll be cool and calm. I`m sure that cat-specific tunes will have a similar effect on our pets.

Cat Calm Radio was launched to promote “National Take Your Cat to the Vet Day.” Check it out:

http://www.catcalmradio.com/

Read More:
http://mentalfloss.com/article/555298/radio-station-calms-cats-before-vet

Bruno the Fat Cat Who Stands on His Hind Legs When He’s Hungry Adopted

“After worldwide interest Bruno the cat has a new home.

The Russian Blue became an internet sensation after Morton Grove shelter Wright Way announced he was looking for a new family. Cats of his breed usually are supposed to weigh between 7-10 pounds; Bruno tips the scale at 25 pounds.

Bruno likes to stand on his hind legs, usually when he wants food. No one is sure how he learned this special trick, but everyone agrees it`s hilarious.”

ABC News

Bruno is a one-trick pony, he gained Internet fame because he has a penchant for standing up when he wants to be fed.

My kitty, Tico, also tips the scales at 25 pounds, and when he`s hungry he doesn`t stand on his hind legs, he walks on my belly and face until I get the message.

I`m not sure what I would do if Tico stood up on his hind legs, would I call the vet, an exorcist, or would I grab my cell phone and try to monetize the freak by posting videos on YouTube?

I`m glad Bruno found a forever home; I hope his new owner will pamper him.

Read More:

https://abc30.com/pets-animals/bruno-the-fat-cat-adopted-by-chicago-couple/4029291/

AUGUST 2018 ARCHIVES PAGE TWO:

http://robertpaulreyes.com/august-2018-archives-page-2/

Top Ten Ways to Celebrate International Cat Day

Flood the inbox of all of your friends and acquaintances with cat pics.

Respond only with a “meow” or a “purr” all freaking day long.

Act finicky, for example when the cashier at McDonald`s ask you “Do you want fries with that?” answer “Yes, but make sure they are lightly salted, uniform in size, and not too hot.”

Knead your coworker`s belly, and when they stare at you in amazement, say “You`re Welcome” and walk away.

Take a crap in your neighbor`s flower bed.

Take a nap on your coworker`s keyboard.

Wake up your partner by biting her toe.

Walk on your girlfriend when she`s napping on the sofa, and when she screams, “What the hell is wrong with you? reply “I`m hungry bitch, feed me.”

Yell in a crowded restaurant, “Someone Heimlich maneuver my punk ass, I have a hairball stuck in my throat.”

Take a Garfield stuffed animal to work and set up a shrine to Lord Cat in your cubicle.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Do You Talk to Your Cat in ‘Cat’ or ‘Human’?

“How often do you meow or purr at your cat? Are you more likely to talk to your cat in `cat` or in `human`? Occasionally I find myself purring back at my cat Lovie, if she has wandered up to say hi to me while I`m working and is busy purring in my direction. Sometimes I`ll give her a little meow, too. Until I read a new study on cat-human interactions, it hadn`t occurred to me to notice that although I `talk` to Lovie using cat sounds, I never talk to my dog Bella using dog vocalizations-I don`t ever bark or growl at Bella. I talk to Bella all the time, but in human language.”

Psychology Today/ Jessica Pierce Ph.D.

I take a lot of heat from my coworkers for being an unabashed cat lover, they look at me askance when I have the temerity to post photos of my kitties Tico and Ebony on my computer desktop.

Even though they know I also own a Pit Bull/German Shepherd mix, they don`t exactly regard me as a paragon of masculinity.

I kiss, cuddle and pet my feline companions, but if I ever greet them with a purr or a meow, I will turn in my man card. That`s where I draw the line!

My cats have little respect for me as it is, they walk on my keyboard when I`m writing my essays, and they plop on my face when I`m taking a nap. If I talked to them in cat language, they would lose all respect for me, and I just might find a hairball on my pillow every night.

Women, on the other hand, have a penchant for talking to cats in cat language and nobody bats an eye. It looks cute and sexy when a female purrs at a kitten, but if a guy does it he looks like a total pussy … cat.

Vive la difference! Ladies keep talking cat to your pets, and I will continue to talk to my pooch and my two cats in human.

Read More:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/all-dogs-go-heaven/201808/how-do-you-talk-your-cat

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Cat Yoga is a Thing! Really!

Cat yoga is a thing! Why you may ask? Perhaps you will achieve some clarity once I explain that is an almost 100% female trend. Is it strange that cat ladies would have odd hobbies?

I don`t care if cat ladies practice cat yoga or cat synchronized swimming, as long as I`m not forced to watch.

I`m not a yoga kind of guy, I`d rather attain peace with my inner child by watching football.

But I am a cat person, and cuddling with my cat while he purrs will make me achieve bliss a hell of a lot faster than practicing yoga with him.

But to each his own, and I will certainly agree that yoga, or anything else, is better with a kitty.

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A Cat’s Purr is the Cat’s Meow

A cat`s meow can be irritating, my felines can drive me bonkers when they meow when I`m concentrating on writing an article or watching an exciting movie.

But when a kitty purrs it`s always soothing, even when I`m in a foul mood, the sound of my cats purring can lift my spirits.

When my pets meow I don`t know if they are happy, hungry, bored or mad, but when they purr I know they`re happy.

I wish women would purr instead of moan when they are sexually satisfied, then we would know that aren`t faking it.

In the cacophony of modern life, thank goodness for a cat`s purr. Cats begin purring when they are a few days old, and thank God most of them never stop purring.

Purr on kitties, purr on!