Guests at Mar-a-Lago paid upwards of $1,000 for the dubious privilege of bringing in the New Year basking in the presence of Donald Trump. But the stable genius made an early exit, for fear of turning in to a pumpkin at midnight? Hello, he’s already a scary looking pumpkin from the pit of hell.
No official explanation for the President’s early departure from Mar-a-Lago was given, but methinks he returned to the White House early to devote his remaining days to stealing the election from Joe Biden.
Disappointed guests were left to party with the likes of Trump’s personal lawyer and international laughing stock, Rudy Giuliani. How thrilling, who wouldn’t want to savor Rudy’s toxic farts and wipe brown sweat from his brow.
Daddy’s favorite girl Ivanka Trump wasn’t in attendance, but Tiffany Trump who the president couldn’t tell from a living room lamp was in the house.
Performers who were one-hit wonders decades ago,Vanilla Ice and Berlin, performed from the ballroom’s main stage. Fox News host Judge Jeanine Pirro, who was in attendance, probably threw her granny panties on the stage. Lucky Vanilla Ice, he hasn’t scored since 1990.
Personalities from the right-wing television network OANN were also in the house; I won’t bother to mention them by name because you wouldn’t recognize them.
Donald Trump Jr. and Eric Trump mingled among the guests with their respective significant others, Kimberly Guilfoyle and Lara Trump. The thrill of a lifetime to dance the Electric Slide with Stepford Wives, Kimberly and Lara.
Ain’t no party like a Mar-a-Lago party, because a Mar-a-Lago party don’t stop until all the freaks have infected each other with COVID.
Dear God, I’m so glad I was nowhere near Mar-a-Lago on New Year’s Eve.
