melania trump

Where in the Name of God is Melania?

“Questions around Melania Trumps reported hospitalization for kidney surgery have intensified as it`s been noted by White House reporters and on social media that the first lady hasn`t been seen in public for at least 15 days.

According to the Washington Post, the length of Mrs. Trump`s absence is long even for a woman who`s not known to crave the spotlight.”

The Mercury News

Never mind “Where`s Waldo?,” where in the name of God is Melania?

The First Lady underwent an embolization procedure to treat a benign kidney condition at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center on May 14, and she hasn`t been seen since.

Here`s my guesses:

Mayo Clinic

The White House can`t be trusted to tell the truth, maybe the “benign kidney condition” is really a cancerous growth, and she`s undergoing life-saving treatment at the renowned medical center.

Meeting with Mueller

When her no-good husband referred to her as “Melanie” that was the last straw, and homegirl is now spilling the beans to the Special Counsel in a series of top-secret meetings.

Interviewing Divorce Lawyers

Divorcing the President of the United States is a legal and emotional nightmare, and Melania has to interview dozens of lawyers before she chooses the right one.

Digging a Tunnel

That sinkhole was her first attempt at freedom, she`s still busy digging until she`s escaped the swamp that`s the White House.

Meeting with Stormy Daniels

The First Lady is commiserating with the porn star about how rotten Trump is, and at the same time getting tips on how to become an adult movie actress.

Practicing Dancing

Melania can read the writing on the wall, and she knows that her hubby will soon be impeached, and she must prepare for life after being First Lady, and DWTS is a good place to start.

Canada

She`s in the Great White North where many patriots have fled from the Trump administration.

Slovenia

Donald Trump has ruined America to the extent that even a nondescript country like Slovenia is a better place.

Who care`s “Where`s Melania?” why can`t Donald Trump disappear into the same black hole?

Read More:

https://www.mercurynews.com/2018/05/25/wheres-melania-trump/

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Outrage! April Ryan Says Melania Trump Isn’t ‘Culturally American’

“CNN contributor April Ryan was not impressed with Melania Trump`s Be Best campaign, saying that the first lady was not culturally American.

`This is a first lady who is not culturally American, but she is learning the ways,` Ryan told `OutFront` host Erin Burnett on Monday evening of the campaign.

The `Be Best` campaign, which was launched at the White House on Monday, will focus on children, specifically curbing opioid abuse and cyberbullying.

Melania Trump was born in Slovenia and became an American citizen in 2006.”

The Wrap

April Ryan serves as a White House correspondent and is the Washington, D.C., bureau chief for American Urban Radio Networks.

I have tremendous respect for Ryan, she speaks truth to power and she can always be counted on to challenge White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, especially when it comes to issues of race.

But I take issue with her statement that Melania Trump isn`t culturally American. The First Lady is a very private person, and the public, including journalists, know very little about her.

One of the few things we know about her is that she`s not fluent in English, but give the lady a break, she speaks five languages.

Is Ryan implying that people who speak broken English aren`t culturally American? The naturalized Hispanic citizen who mows our lawns, and the naturalized Chinese citizen who dry-cleans our clothes may not speak fluent English fluently but they are just as American as April Ryan.

April Ryan owes Melania Trump an apology, it`s not our proficiency in English but our citizenship that makes us Americans.

Read More:

https://www.thewrap.com/cnn-contributor-april-ryan-dings-melania-trump-as-not-culturally-american/

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Is Melania Trump Mocked More Than Any Other First Lady?

Conservatives have their MAGA panties in a twist over Jimmy Kimmel poking fun at Melania Trump`s Slovenian accent as she was reading a children`s book to children at the annual White House Easter Egg Roll event.

“Never stop exploring, cause life would be boring. Be clever be curious just like a cat. Ask lots of questions about this and that,” Melania read.

“Like dis and dat, ” the late night comic said, impersonating an Easter European accent and then joking to his sidekick, Guillermo Rodriquez, that he could be First Lady.

Melania should read that children`s book to her husband at bedtime, maybe it will encourage him to read instead of wasting time watching “Fox and Friends:`

I actually think Melania rocked when she was reading to the little kids, it sounded like she was channeling Snoop Dogg on “Nothing but a G Thang”:

It`s like dis and like dat and like dis and a-
It`s like dat and like dis and like dat and a-
It`s like dis, and who gives a fuc* about those?
So just chill `til the next episode.

In their alternate reality conservatives claim that no First Lady has been demeaned and mocked more than Melania. Bitch, please!

Michelle Obama caught holy hell from evangelicals for daring to bare her arms, while they remain mute about Melania`s softcore porn lesbian photographs from her modeling days.

I don`t make fun of Melania`s accent, good God English is her fourth or fifth language. But I do fault her for not raising her voice, in any language, to protest her husband`s misogyny, racism and bullying nature.

It`s like dis and like dat,

chill out bitches,

Donald Trump is the one we be aiming for.

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Photo Credit: Wikipedia

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Donald Trump, Melania Trump and the Easter Bunny

“President Donald Trump delivered another of his classic campaign rally speeches from the White House this morning, boasting about the economy and his build-up of spending on the military, with a giant pink-eared bespectacled bunny at his side.

Trump`s address was his way of commemorating the 140th annual White House Easter Egg Roll – a tradition that dates back to 1878

“This is a special year. Our country is doing great. You look at the economy; you look at what`s happening,” Trump told the large gathering of children standing below him on the White House lawn.”

Deadline

President Donald Trump delivered a campaign style speech from a balcony in the White House, he was flanked on one side by Melania Trump (looking as if she was sucking on a lemon), and on the other by a giant bunny.

Melania`s default expression is glum, the parade of porn stars and Playboy bunnies claiming to have knocked boots with the president is taking its toll. Not that I feel sorry for the former model, if she had a shred of integrity she would kick her hubby to the curb.

The appearance of the bespectacled bunny at Trump`s side lends the appropriate Alice in Wonderland atmosphere to the occasion. As far as I`m concerned Trump should never deliver a speech without the presence of the bunny, considered that all that emanates from his sphincter-shaped mouth is tomfoolery, inaccuracies and flat-out lies.

Trump was speaking to a large gathering of children standing below him on the White House lawn. I`m sure the kids weren`t paying any attention to him, their minds were on Easter eggs.

If only we were as wise as children, and didn`t pay any attention to Trump when he delivers a speech.

Read More:

http://deadline.com/2018/04/donald-trump-easter-bunny-campaign-rally-speech-white-house-egg-roll-video-1202356792/

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Did Melania Trump Hire Exorcist to Cleanse White House of Obama and Clinton Demons?

“A hoax circulating on Facebook claims that first lady Melania Trump hired a professional exorcist to cleanse the White House of past demons from the Barack Obama and Bill Clinton years.

`Melania Trump hired exorcist to `cleanse White House of Obama demons,` read the headline on February 8 from Your News Wire.

The story was flagged by Facebook users as being potentially fabricated, as part of the social media`s efforts to combat fake news.

Stephanie Grisham, a spokeswoman for Melania Trump, says any reports claiming the first lady had a ceremony to rid the White House of demons before moving in is false and `not true in any way.`”

Politifact

Donald Trump and his sycophants relentlessly claim that the mainstream media spreads fake news to downplay the achievements of the Trump administration, in reality it`s right wing web sites that are the foremost purveyors of fake news.

Even the most outlandish and ridiculous fake news item that appears in one of these right wing conspiracy sites soon spreads like wildfire in this alternative universe, and it`s accepted as Gospel by dimwitted white evangelicals.

Melania might hire a dermatologist to lighten her hubby`s orange complexion, a Feng Shui practitioner to bring some harmony to the White House, or an Orthodox priest to bless the White House by sprinkling some holy water (of course she would warn him not to sprinkle any water on the designer furniture), but she would never in a million years hire an exorcist to cleanse the White House of past demons from the Barack Obama and Bill Clinton years.

Although it might be a good idea to hire a professional exorcist to cleanse the White House after one year of the Trump administration. No doubt the short-fingered vulgarian has attracted a legion of demons.

I have no faith in the efficacy of con artist exorcists to cleanse the White House of demons, but hiring one to cleanse the People`s House would be performance art at its most entertaining and educational.

Read More:

http://www.politifact.com/punditfact/statements/2018/feb/19/yournewswirecom/fake-news-claims-melania-trump-hired-exorcist-clea/

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Who’s the Most Dysfunctional Couple: Bill and Hillary Clinton or Donald and Melania Trump?

“Melania Trump won`t be attending the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland, and some are speculating that her cancellation is a subliminal message to her husband, Donald Trump.

For one thing, it came on their 13th wedding anniversary, and Inside Edition notes that the first lady has kept a low profile since the allegations that her husband paid $130,000 in hush money to a porn actress who uses the name Stormy Daniels.

Huffington Post

The Trumps are the most dysfunctional couple to occupy the White House since the Clintons.

Bill and Hillary Clinton were both skirt-chasers, Slick Willy was reckless in his pursuit of tail, Hillary was more discreet since she had to maintain the fiction that she was heterosexual and not a butch lesbian.

Hillary was indifferent to her hubby`s sexcapades, she only objected when he bedded trailer trash vixens beneath their station.

I doubt that Bill and Hillary ever consummated their marriage, and don`t bring up Chelsea because we all know that Webb Hubbell was her baby daddy.

Melania has publicly admitted that she married Donald Trump for his money, they sleep in separate bedrooms in the White House, and they have little interaction with each other.

Melania has been filmed on various occasions swatting away Trump`s deformed little hand when he tried to hold her hand. You can bet that when he approaches her in the privacy of the White House with his tiny pecker, she swats it away in disgust.

Melania isn`t quite as forgiving as Hillary about her husband`s indiscretions, she doesn`t like to be publicly humiliated. Melania knew what she was getting into when she married the lecherous bastard, but she must have been furious when it was disclosed that he had an affair with a porn star.

The Bill and Hillary show lasted eight years, hopefully the Melania and Donald reality show will last less than four years. I`m hoping that the racist buffoon will be impeached when the Democrats take control of both houses of Congress in the midterm elections.

Read More:

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/melania-trump-davos-message_us_5a67c901e4b0dc592a0dafad

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Donald Trump and Melania Trump Are an Affront to the Memory of Martin Luther King Jr.

Legislation was signed in 1983 creating a federal holiday marking the birthday of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Taking place each year on the third Monday in January, the MLK Day of Service is observed as a national day of service in honor of the tireless crusader for peace and justice.

Unfortunately, very few people who aren`t federal employees actually get the day off, but we should still honor the memory of MLK by serving others after we get off from work.

Donald Trump, the President of the United States, didn`t set an example for the people that he serves by helping build a house for Habitat for Humanity or by serving meals in a food kitchen, he was too busy playing golf with his millionaire pals.

Melania Trump on Monday sent out a tweet acknowledging Martin Luther King Jr.`s lifetime of service, but nobody was buying it.

Today we honor Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. & his service to this great country. I am honored to be First Lady of a nation that continually strives for equality & justice for all. #MLKDay

The nation may strive to create a more perfect union, but her husband`s racist rhetoric and policies are setting back our democracy decades.

If Melania really wanted to honor the memory of MLK she would poison her hubby`s covfefe.

I`d better forget the execrable Trumps if only for this holiday, so I will be in the proper state of mind to celebrate the birth of Martin Luther King, Jr.

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Reprobate Church Welcomes Donald Trump and Melania Trump With Standing Ovation

President Donald Trump and First Lady Melania Trump arrived fashionably late for the Christmas Eve midnight mass service at Church of Bethesda-by-the-Sea in upscale West Palm Beach.

They were greeted with a standing ovation, no doubt in appreciation for how much Trump`s Tax plan will benefit them.

When a president who is the antithesis of the teachings of Jesus Christ receives a rousing standing ovation at a Christian church you know we are living in the End Days.

But at least the pastor spoke truth to power, gently and subtly rebuking Trump. The Reverend James Harlan started off with a quote from Nelson Mandela

It is never my custom to use words lightly. If 27 years in prison have done anything to us, it was to use the silence of solitude to make us understand how precious words are and how real speech is in its impact on the way people live and die.

Harlan went on to speak about the power of words to make the world a better place.

He ended with this admonition:

Your words can have as much destructive potential as they do healing.

I doubt if the pastor`s words had any effect on Trump. The words of an eloquent and soft-spoken minister won`t move Trump. Jehovah needs to dispatch Elijah the Prophet to warn the short-fingered vulgarian that if he doesn`t repent that God will cast him into the Lake of Fire.

While the pastor was preaching about the power of words to make this a wonderful world, Trump was probably posting nasty tweets from his pew.

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Melania’s Christmas Selfie: First Lady Looks Like Duck Face Tramp From Pit of Hell

“Melania Trump was in the holiday spirit on Christmas Day – but Twitter, not so much.

The first lady was trolled on social media after she posted a selfie with a filter featuring a Santa hat and sparkling reindeer.

#MerryChristmas, the first lady captioned the photo, adding emojis of a Christmas tree and Santa Clause.”

People Magazine

Melania`s Christmas selfie is the epitome of tackiness, the First Lady looks like the last tramp you want to meet on the way to Christmas mass.

Her Yuletide selfie would make a perfect cover for the Christmas edition of Hustler magazine, the centerfold would display the former model in all her pornographic glory.

Melania`s lips are puckered as if she`s being interviewed for an intern`s position in the Clinton Foundation.

Ladies, and I use the term loosely, may walk around with their lips puckered like whores n the gaudy elegance of Mar-a-Lago, but everyday Americans are walking around with a grimace as they contemplate the New Year with a president with a mouth that looks like a sphincter and a First Lady who puckers her lips like a slut.

Pic of Melania`s tacky Christmas selfie:

http://people.com/politics/melania-trump-filtered-christmas-selfie-twitter/

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Outrage: Melania Trump Hangs a Sprig of Mistletoe in the White House

“First Lady Melania Trump posted a video of this years White House Christmas decorations to her Twitter page on Monday, Nov. 27. The theme of Time-Honored Christmas Traditions is evident throughout the decorations. There are plenty of trees trimmed with lights and ornaments, wreaths wrapped in red bows, and Christmas cookies in the shapes of Frosty the Snowman and decorative red stars. One detail, though, might have been better left off of the decoration list.

CNN White House reporter Kate Bennett posted a picture of the mistletoe hanging in the White House to her Twitter page on Monday, Nov. 27.”

Elite Daily

Melania Trump, the wife of the pussy-grabber-in-chief, was responsible for decorating the White House for Christmas, and you`d thing the last thing she would do is hang a sprig of mistletoe.

Donald Trump will probably park his urine-drenched La-Z-Boy recliner under the mistletoe hoping that Ivanka will have sipped one eggnog too many and make the mistake of getting too close to her father.

Hang mistletoe in the White House? Are you freaking serious? You`d might as well give Anthony Weiner a smartphone so he can sext underage girls from behind bars.

Trump has been accused of sexual misconduct by 16 women, by the time the Holiday Season is over Trump will have groped a dozen more under the mistletoe.

Read More:

https://www.elitedaily.com/p/a-white-house-christmas-mistletoe-has-all-of-twitter-making-the-same-cringey-joke-5958645

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Melania Can’t Stand Donald Trump

“In the aftermath of Hurricane Irma, President Trump visited Fort Myers, Florida to speak about his administration`s recovery efforts in the state. The president was joined by his wife and vice president – but while addressing the crowd, Trump seemed to forget that Melania was standing right next to him, and instead told the audience that the First Lady `really wanted to be with us.`

But she was with them. Melania and Vice President Mike Pence were right by Trump`s side, as were Sen. Marco Rubio and other local officials, as he spoke about the post-Irma cleanup effort.”

Bustle

Donald Trump has an addiction for high-maintenance trophy wives, when he grew bored with Marla Maples he traded her in for fashion model Melania Knavs.

The celebrity couple has been married since 2005, and in the first few years of their relationship they made time in their busy schedules to engage in sexual congress.

Now that Trump is a septuagenarian he no longer has the ability to please his still relatively young spouse. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak …

Imagine his frustration, he`s like a rich old codger who admires his Ferrari in his garage, but doesn`t take it out for a spin anymore because he realizes that he no longer has the keen eyesight or quick reflexes to tame such a wild beast.

Melania has admitted that she married Trump for his money, and if she swats away his hand in public, you can be damn sure that she bitch slaps him if he tries to steal a kiss in the privacy of their bedroom.

No wonder Trump forgot that Melania was standing right next to him during his speech in Florida, she`s useless to him now.

We should share Melania`s disgust for her husband, and by any means necessary get rid of him.

Link to video of clueless Trump:

https://www.bustle.com/p/heres-donald-trump-literally-forgetting-melania-trump-exists-2436327

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Tiny Orange Dot on Melania’s Birthday Card to Donald Trump Stumps Internet

“On Wednesday it was the 71st birthday of President Donald Trump and his wife wished him well via Twitter.

But a subtle detail on the image of a birthday card she tweeted to her husband has left many online scratching their heads — a small orange dot.

Since she published the image on Wednesday evening, more than 40,000 users have “liked” the first lady`s post — and many have speculated on about whatever could have caused the glaring stain.”

AOL

I wouldn`t be surprised if Melania does most of her communication with her husband via Twitter, she`s been videotaped more than once swatting away his tiny hand. She doesn`t want his diminutive hands anywhere near her butt, boobs or vagina.

As far as what the small orange dot means, here`s a few thoughts:

Fingerprint

The dot is orange and tiny, let`s hope it`s a fingerprint and not an impression left by his tiny presidential penis.

Signet ring impression

An impression left by Trump`s signet ring, his ring would feature a tiny engraved pumpkin.

A teardrop

Trump would have been so touched that Melania still pretends to love him, that he might have shed a tear or two. Of course any of Donald`s tears are orange after running down his fake tanned face.

Deliberate distraction

Conspiracy theorists believe that this tiny mark was deliberately created to distract the American public from Russiagate.

Covfefe

Was Trump drinking covfefe while admiring his birthday card?

Donald`s soul

These tiny pixels may represent his soul.

What do you think, my friend?

Pic of Trump`s Birthday Card:

https://www.aol.com/article/news/2017/06/15/tiny-mark-on-melania-trumps-birthday-card-to-donald-trump-spark-wild-theories/22314561/

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Melania Trump Slaps at Donald Trump When He Tries to Hold Her Hand: Video

“Melania Trump appeared to want nothing to do with President Donald Trumps hand on Monday.

After FLOTUS and POTUS arrived at Ben Gurion International Airport in Lod, near Tel Aviv, Israel, for Day 3 of the administration`s first international trip, Trump reached one hand backwards toward his wife – but she quickly rebuffed the gesture with a flick of her wrist. At the time, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was holding hands with wife, Sara, beside the Trumps.”

Huffington Post

We recently learned that Hillary Clinton`s debate preparation included practicing how to avoid shaking hands with Donald Trump. Nobody, friend or foe, wants to touch Trump`s hands, God only knows what that pussy-grabbing freak`s hands have touched.
Even Melania Trump doesn`t want to be anywhere near her toxic husband, she`s been safely ensconced in Trump Tower the last four months — far away from the reach of his tiny hands.
When the Trumps arrived at Ben Gurion International Airport, knowing that millions were watching on TV, Melania Trump flicked away his hand when he attempted to hold her hand.
Only diehard Trump supporters can tolerate him, it`s time to impeach him.
Read More:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/watch-melania-trump-swat-donald-away-when-he-tries-to-hold-her-hand_us_5922f66ae4b034684b0e1ffa

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slo71FaJjfY

Melania Trump Nudges Donald Trump to Remind Him to Put His Tiny Hand Over His Shriveled Heart

“President Donald Trump and First Lady Melania Trump welcomed an estimated 21,000 guests for the 139th Easter Egg Roll at the White House Monday. But, while addressing the crowd from the Truman Balcony, Melania subtly nudged Donald, reminding him to put his hand over his heart for the National Anthem-a small moment that turned into a bigger discussion on social media. The couple`s son Barron Trump, however, did not require any prompting from his mom.

(The U.S. Flag Code calls for anyone addressing the flag, either during the Pledge of Allegiance or the national anthem, to put their right hands over their hearts.)”

EOnline.com

Melania was born in Slovenia, and she didn`t move to New York City until 1996, but even this lovely immigrant knows that when the National Anthem is played, a red-blooded American puts his hand over his heart.

Barron, Donald`s 11-year-old son, didn`t need any prompting from his mother to do his patriotic duty, hopefully unlike his dad he will grow up to be a scholar, gentleman and a patriot.

Even the Easter Bunny had his hand over his heart, only the “America First” president required a nudge from his better part to remind him of his civic duty.

At least we were spared the spectacle of the Easter Bunny humping Trump to remind him to put his demonic little hand over his tiny heart.

Read More:
http://www.eonline.com/news/843926/melania-trump-nudges-donald-trump-to-raise-his-hand-for-the-national-anthem

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White House Releases First Official Portrait of Melania Trump

“It is perhaps no surprise that first lady Melania Trump`s first official portrait is a glamour shot. The former model`s bio page on the White House website goes into great detail about her career in the field. The White House released the photo on Monday, with a simple press release stating that the photo was taken in the residence at the White House.”

NPR

Since Donald Trump assumed office Melania Trump has kept a very low profile, perhaps the White House released her first official portrait to remind us that she`s still the First Lady.

It`s not surprising that the former model has an affinity for soft lighting and airbrushing, there will never be an official photograph of the First Lady that hasn`t been airbrushed to death.

The official photograph features a giant diamond on her ring finger, most of the gazillion and one images of Melania online feature her impressive rack.

Melania`s story is America`s story, any humble immigrant with a photogenic face and an ample bosom can climb from the seedy world of soft core pornography to the corrupt White House.

God bless America and God bless Melania Trump.

Melania`s Official Portrait:

http://www.npr.org/2017/04/03/522465633/first-lady-melania-trump-gets-her-first-official-portrait

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