Trump Obsesses Over Arnold Palmer’s Huge Putter

“Arnold Palmer was all man, and I say that in all due respect to women — and I love women, but this guy, this guy, this is a guy that was all man. This man was strong and tough. And I refuse to say it, but when he took showers with the other pros, they came out of there, they said, ‘Oh my God, that’s unbelievable.'”

Donald Trump

When Trump goes off script you never know where his demented stream-of-consciousness rant will take him. He might mention “the late great Hannibal Lecter” as if he were a historical character, he might wax poetic about windmills causing cancer or go into a tirade about toilets that need a dozen times to flush.

But I never thought that Dementia Don would go off on a 12-mintute riff about the virtues of Arnold Palmer, climaxing in an off-color joke about Palmer’s huge dick.

This soliloquy praising Palmer’s manhood was totally inappropriate considering many MAGA cultists make pilgrimages to Trump rallies with their children in tow. Isn’t the Republican Party supposed to be the party of family values? Don’t his evangelical supporters worship him as a messiah figure? I don’t think that Jesus ever praised the apostle Peter for having a penis longer than the spear he used to catch fish.

Trump is a billionaire who unwinds by playing a few rounds of golf, but his story about Palmer, regardless how interesting it may have been, didn’t resonate with his blue-collar supporters who can’t afford to buy a set of golf clubs that sell for an average of a thousand bucks.

I don’t care if Palmer’s penis was as long as his putter, a presidential candidate should have the decency and discretion to keep that information to himself.

Trump Claims Golf Tournament Win Despite Not Playing First Round

“Former US President Donald Trump has claimed victory in a tournament that took place last week at his West Palm Beach Golf Club in Florida, even though he was 600 miles away at a funeral in North Carolina when it began.”

Golf Monthly

How can Donald Trump claim to be the victor of a two-round golf tournament when he missed the first round? How did he accomplish this seemingly impossible sports feat? The cheater-in-chief simply took his score from a round he’d played two days earlier and announced that would count as the score for his opening round. When you are the owner of the golf resort where the tournament is being held, I guess you can engage in whatever shenanigans you choose to ensure victory. Taking a mulligan his one thing, claiming to win a golf event where you miss the opening round is a horse of a different color.

Trump even had the audacity to brag about his “victory” on his Truth Social media platform:”

“A great honor to have won the Senior Club Championship at Trump International Golf Club, one of the best courses in the country, in Palm Beach County, Florida. Competed against many fine golfers, and was hitting the ball long and straight.”

I can imagine Trump’s sycophants’ reaction:

“Thank you, Jesus, for directing the path of the golf ball to the hole, and blessing our Orange Savior with yet another victory. Please Lord don’t let the godless liberals succeed in tarnishing this great victory.”

I’m not surprised Trump claimed victory after missing the first round. Let’s not forget that this is the same con artist who claims to have won the 2020 presidential election even though he lost to Joe Biden in an electoral college and popular vote landslide.

Accusations of cheating on the course are par for the course for Trump. I hope Trump will lose in another landslide to Joe Biden in 2024 and he will spend the last days of his miserable life cheating on the golf course.

Donald Trump Hints He Will Run for President in 2024 While Golfing in Florida

Donald Trump hinted he will run for president again while golfing in Florida.

In a video taken by one of his entourage and posted on social media, Trump was introduced by one of his flunkies with the commentary: First tee, the 45th President of the United States.

Trump, wearing a red “Make America Great Again” hat adorned with a 45-logo responded: 45th and 47th! A none too subtle hint that he is seriously considering running again, or at least that’s the impression he wants to leave with his supporters and critics.

If a more serious politician wanted to convey the impression that he was considering a presidential run, he would have posted a video on social media depicted him reading a newspaper or reading a book with a member of his team commenting: Is this the 47th President of the United States?

Of course, Trump is neither a serious nor a well-qualified presidential candidate, and he dropped the hint while golfing, something he did frequently during his term.

When Trump golfed as president, he left the impression that he was lazy and didn’t take his job seriously, but it was even worse when he played at being president and royally screwed everything.

For the sake of our democracy, let’s hope Trump spends the rest of his miserable life on the golf course, and never sets foot in the White House again.

Tiger Woods and Donald Trump: Two Poisonous Peas in a Pod

Tiger Woods career is over after an automobile crash that resulted in open fractures to the upper and lower sections of his right leg along with significant trauma to his ankle.

Woods’ indomitable spirit and tremendous work ethic are responsible for 82 PGA tour victories and 15 Major championships, but there’s no way that a 45-year-old golfer who’s had five back surgeries and multiple knee surgeries can return to the PGA tour. The celebrated golfer will be lucky if he can return to Augusta in five years to play a ceremonial round of golf.

An adoring press has universally characterized Tiger’s latest vehicular escapade as an “accident.” If a boulder rolls down a hill and crushes your car that’s an accident. If a pothole causes your vehicle to roll over that’s an accident. But when you speed on a road notorious for its hairpin turns, and you total your automobile, that’s not an accident. It’s negligence, recklessness, and stupidity.

Disgraced and diminished former President Donald Trump wished his occasional golf partner Tiger Woods a speedy recovery, predicting, “he will be back.”

In May 2019, just weeks after winning his fifth Master’s title, Trump awarded Woods the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

In a recent interview Trump said:

“When Tiger is in contention, which is often, the ratings are double and triple. It’s very few people that can cause that kind of phenomena.”

Trump admires Tiger’s celebrity and penchant for getting high ratings whenever he’s in a golf tournament, and Tiger admires Trump’s power, influence, and wealth. Two peas in a pod.

There won’t be another miraculous Tiger comeback. His debilitating injury has ended his hall of fame career. There won’t be a Trump comeback, his incapacitating moral failings and fascist tendencies have ended his political career.

Outrage: LPGA Star Lexi Thompson Golfs With Racist Donald Trump

Hey everybody, just want to say I will be taking a break from social media. If I post it will be from my management team for me. I’m too involved with it, and to read some of the hurtful things being said to me lately isn’t fair and I’m not dealing with it. Thank you to my true fans out there I will be back on but I’m going to be focusing on me right now and my life. Thanks for understanding.

Instagram Post by LPGA star Lexi Thompson

Sorry, but I don’t understand.

Lexi Thompson posted this statement on Instagram after getting negative feedback on social media for spending the Easter weekend golfing with blatant racist Donald Trump and right-wing pundit Rush Limbaugh.

Many politicians and diplomats meet with Trump even though they deplore his racist statements and policies because their occupation makes it necessary and unavoidable that they interact with him.

It’s a horse of a different color when a prominent person socializes with the racist buffoon. Thompson didn’t golf with Trump because he’s such a great golfer, she thought that the publicity would improve her brand, and she probably doesn’t mind his racist inclinations.

Thompson must have figured that most golfers are conservatives and they would be envious if anything, for golfing with the Leader of the Free World. The backlash from social media caught her be surprise, and so she’s taking a timeout from the virtual world.

To which I say: What a freaking coward! If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen, or in this case the Internet, on a permanent basis. If I get criticized for bashing Lexi, believe me, I’m not going to take a break from social media. Bring it on!

Lexi’s Twitter feed is filled with posts promoting products and services, contact her sponsors and let them know what you think about this cowardly golfer who enjoys socializing with racists.

Moral Outrage! Donald Trump Drives Golf Cart on Green! Video!

I`ve never played golf and I don`t know a driver from a putter, but I do know that you never drive a golf cart on the green. A golfer desecrating a golf course by driving a cart on the green is equivalent to a baseball player pulling down his pants and underwear and adjusting his crotch in the middle of a game. It`s simply unthinkable!

Donald Trump owns over a dozen golf courses, and he plays golf almost every weekend — you`d think he would never violate this cardinal rule, but the lazy shi*head must think he`s above the law.

Johnny Depp is the latest actor to joke about assassinating Trump, I predict that now professional golfers will joke about assassinating the Philistine.

Warning: After watching this video of the fat orange lard driving his golf cart on the green you may join the legions joking about killing Trump.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6IrmHI5j94

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Tiger Woods Arrested on Suspicion of DUI! What’s Next: Retirement or Suicide?

Tiger Woods, golfing icon, was arrested on a DUI charge in Florida early Monday morning, and his mugshot has gone viral.

Tiger`s mugshot makes Nick Notle`s infamous mugshot look like a wedding photograph.

Dead Eyes

Unkempt hair

Scraggly goatee

Bloated face

Generic white T-shirt

Crooked mouth

This mugshot is a perfect representation of the dissolute state of Tiger`s soul. When Woods crashed his car into a fire hydrant on November 27, 2009 he was exposed as a hypocrite and serial adulterer, and his golfing career and professional reputation has never recovered.

In his mugshot the disgraced golfer doesn`t look like the legend who mastered the greatest golf courses in the world, he looks like a homeless person who would be arrested if he tried sneaking into a golf resort.

If I met Woods looking like he does in his mugshot I wouldn`t know if I should give him a dollar or shoot him right between the eyes to put him out of his misery. Injuries and scandals have robbed Woods of his golfing skills, at this stage in his life and in his career he shouldn`t dismiss ritual suicide as a valid option.

Link to his mugshot:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4552628/Tiger-Woods-arrested-DUI.html

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