hurricanes

Stable Genius Donald Trump Wants to Nuke a Hurricane

Stable Genius

According to unnamed sources Donald Trump asked top Homeland Security officials whether the United States could bomb a hurricane to stop it from hitting the country.


This isn’t the premise of a Saturday Night Live skit, an Onion headline, or a joke by a late-night comic, this is what passes for real life in the reality TV series known as the Trump administration.

I can imagine the stable genius proposing this brainiac idea in the Situation Room:

Donald Trump:

Hurricanes start forming off the coast of the shithole country of Africa, as they’re moving across the Atlantic Ocean, or is it the Pacific Ocean or maybe Lake Erie, let’s drop a nuclear bomb inside the eye of the hurricane. That will blind the hurricane and it won’t know which direction to move and maybe it will make a U Turn and kill a bunch of darkies instead of God-fearing Americans. We have thousands of nuclear bombs, and we’re just wasting them by not using them! Nuking a hurricane will make your favorite President’s ratings to go through the roof! In fact, let’s show Mother Nature who’s boss and let’s put out the Amazon rainforest fires with a couple of nuclear bombs. Talk about changing the narrative, the Fake News will forget all about Climate Change. Obama never nuked no hurricane! Everyone will agree that President Trump is greater than Obama after I start nuking hurricanes, forestfires and whatnot. Speaking of Obama let’s nuke Kenya for good measure. Well what do you guys think? Am I the big hands President or What? Mike! That’s your cue to praise my brilliant plan. WWJD?


Mike Pence:


Sir, Jesus would ride on top of a nuclear-tipped Cruise Missile and blow that hurricane to smithereens! I praise the Lord for blessing us with such a wise and intelligent leader.

Acting Director of Homeland Security:


Brilliant plan Sir! I humbly suggest that we until a Category 9 hurricane develops, that way you will get even more credit for adverting disaster.

Acting Assistant Director of Homeland Security (whispering to the Acting Director of Homeland Security):

Great save boss! That fucking moron doesn’t know the Hurricane Wind Scale is a 1 to 5 rating based on a hurricane’s sustained wind speed.

Donald Trump Used Hurricane Harvey as Cover to Pardon Joe Arpaio

Natural disasters bring to light the worst of Mother Nature and the best of human beings, the courage and determination of the victims and first responders remind us of the indomitability of the human spirit.

Natural disasters also reveal the character of the President of the United States. President George Bush was on vacation when Hurricane Katrina made landfall, and as the nation watched the devastation in horror, the president remained on vacation, he didn`t return back to the White House until a couple of days later.

On his way back, Bush had Air Force One fly over part of the devastated area and he glimpsed the wreckage from the plane. The photo of Bush looking out the window of his presidential plane became one of the defining images of his tenure.

A picture speaks a thousand words, and that photograph spoke of the president`s detachment from the concerns of everyday people. Since most of the victims in the hardest-hit areas were African-Americans it also spoke of his insensitivity towards people of color. In Kanye`s immortal words, “Bush doesn`t care about black people.”

The Bush presidency never recovered from Hurricane Katrina, and President Donald Trump failed to learn from Bush`s bungling of the natural disaster.

Hours before Hurricane Harvey made landfall in Texas, Donald Trump left the White House for a weekend getaway in Camp David.

Trump used Hurricane Harvey as a cover for announcing controversial measures, the pardon of racist Sheriff Joe Arpaio and the signing of a memo which bans transgender individuals from newly enlisting in the military.

Hurricane Katrina struck New Orleans in 2005 during Bush`s second term, and the Iraq war had already severely weekend him. Hurricane Harvey struck Texas only seven months into Trump`s administration, but his countless scandals and mistakes have already crippled his administration.

Trump is ill-equipped to lead our nation during the best of times, God help us when he`s at the helm during a natural disaster or a terrorist attack.

For God`s sake, we must get rid of the bastard, one way or another, as soon as possible.

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