When a zillionaire, who believes that we live in a simulated reality, buys Twitter, you don’t have to be a theoretical physicist to know that he will turn it into his virtual playground where anything goes. Elon Musk has set the tone by tweeting conspiracy theories, firing thousands of employees by email and verifying Jesus Christ’s Twitter page with the cherished blue checkmark.

Jesus’ Twitter page feature a profile picture of a Jesus statue pointing its right index finger and raising its left thumb with a smile and a wink. The smile and the wink are clues that this isn’t the Republican Jesus who frowns at anyone having fun, and has a penchant for condemning liberals, gays and feminists to hell. That last thing Twitter needs is a MAGA Jesus egging on the demonic antics of Donald Trump.

The Jesus of the Gospels had twelve disciples, but Twitter’s Jesus has 830,000 followers, and he doesn’t follow anyone, not even Elon Musk. Trump-worshipping white evangelicals have made it embarrassing for anyone to admit that they are a follower of Jesus Christ, but I’m not ashamed to say that I am a follower of Twitter Jesus. I’m not even ashamed to spread the word: Follow Jesus at: https://twitter.com/jesus