tinder

Kellyanne Conway is Like a Tinder Date From Hell

You finally meet your Tinder date and you are appalled to discover it’s Kellyanne Conway, your testicles shrivel, your eyes turn glassy and you swear on your mother’s grave that you will never swipe right again.

Then after a few drinks the clock strikes midnight, and she turns into the Crypt Keeper and starts uttering racist garbage and you determine to sue Tinder if you survive your date from hell.

Kellyanne is trending on Twitter because in a Fox News interview she uttered this patently ridiculous statement:

“I worked in that White House for four years. We never even heard of a such of a thing. There was no supply chain crisis”

Conway is stuck in a twilight zone where alternative facts are accepted as Gospel. No supply chain crisis during the Trump administration? Really? Bitch, please!

I remember a shortage of toilet paper, hand sanitizer, rubbing alcohol, PPE Gear (masks, gloves, ventilators), COVID tests and vaccines.

Conway the Crypt Keeper is really more like Freddy Krueger or any of those movie monsters who are seemingly invincible, who keep coming back from the dead to terrorize a new generation of clueless teenagers.

Conway please just shut up; I don’t ever want to see you trending on Twitter again.

Fatal Attraction in the Digital Age

“A woman (Jacqueline Ades) is accused of breaking into a Paradise Valley home, bathing in the homeowner`s bathtub, and sending tens of thousands of disturbing text messages to the man`s phone after the pair went on one date.”

ABC News

Before breaking into her victim`s home she had already been arrested a couple of times for threatening to kill him for spurning her advances.

This woman wasn`t just a harmless kook, when police officers arrested her for breaking into the man`s home they found a large butcher knife on the passenger`s seat of her vehicle.

This Fatal Attraction psycho armed with a butcher knife and a cell phone bombarded her victim with over 65,000 texts.

Ades was charged with breaking and entering, threatening, stalking and harassment, but she won`t be behind bars for more than a few months. Her victim would be well-advised to change his name, undergo plastic surgery, delete all his social media accounts, and move far, far away.

After reading this article you may say “Glad it wasn`t me” and then swipe right on Tinder or reply to the sexy text the new temp at the office sent you.

But I would urge you to at least google the hell out of the next person you meet online before meeting him/her in person.

Read More:

https://abc7chicago.com/woman-accused-of-stalking-sending-65000-texts-after-one-date/3456540/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes