thanksgiving

My Annual Thanksgiving Essay

I am a curmudgeon with a penchant for writing editorials exposing the frailties and baser instincts of politicians, preachers, billionaires, and bureaucrats who wield power over us. But on Thanksgiving Day I channel the spirit of the Dalai Lama and I wax poetic about things and people that are a blessing in my life.

I’ve been posting essays online since 1998, and some of them have gone viral, but nothing is more satisfying and ego gratifying than seeing my words published in a print publication. There is a visceral thrill and tactile satisfaction in turning the pages of a newspaper and reading news, editorials, and community events. I’m thankful that the Bedford Bulletin still publishes a print edition.

I feel a familial obligation to contact my family members who live out of state on Thanksgiving, even the ones who have political and religious views that are antithetical to mine. I end the perfunctory call and check them off my list. But I am thankful for Jackie my sister I seamlessly vibe with; I feel refreshed, reenergized and thankful whenever I call her, not just at Thanksgiving.

I was devastated by the election results; it is sobering to realize that voters placed party and perceived economic benefits over democracy and freedom. But I am thankful that I live in a free country where I can still express my opposition to the party in power by writing letters to the editor, attending demonstrations, and publishing my anti-Trump essays on my blog.

My Annual Thanksgiving List of Things I’m Grateful For

The older you get the more your circle of friends and family shrinks, until you have more memories than loved ones. This Thanksgiving Day I don’t have a long list of people that I’m grateful for, but I am thankful for these three special souls every day of the year.

I am thankful for my pooch Princess, and yes, she’s a person. There isn’t a human alive who will love you unconditionally, even the love of your life will sometimes resent you because of your annoying tics, bad habits and serious shortcomings.

But a dog will love you forever, and Princess will always consider me a prince worthy of love, devotion and loyalty even though I resemble a rouge more than royalty. Princess is always happy to see me, and she always greets me with a wagging tail and smiling eyes. Even now as I’m writing this essay, she’s looking at me with curiosity, everything that I do fascinates her.

I love all of my siblings, but I am especially grateful for my sister Jackie. Whenever we chat or text, whether the conversation is trivial or serious, I always feel better afterwards. I don’t have to walk on eggshells or pretend to be someone that I’m not, we’re on the same wavelength. I’m sad that I won’t spend this Thanksgiving with her, but I’m happy she’s coming to visit me in December.

The third person I’m grateful for is the Queen of Christmas, Mariah Carey. For me there aren’t 12 days of Christmas, but 55, I start playing the Queen’s Christmas songs on November 1.  The Christmas Diva’s vocal register can only be matched by the angelic choir. As far as I’m concerned, every Nativity scene should include Mariah Carey welcoming the Baby Jesus to this sinful world with her heavenly voice. It may be Thanksgiving, but it’s not too early to meditate on Christmas. All I want for Christmas is Mariah Carey on my stereo.

Donald Trump Jr. Ruins Thanksgiving by Posting Video Depicting Trump Bursting Out of a Turkey Dancing to YMCA

“Donald Trump Jr. was mocked for missing the mark after he shared a viral video on Twitter that appeared to show his father, Donald Trump, bursting out of a turkey on Thanksgiving.

The ex-president’s son shared a doctored version of the ‘save the neck for me’ scene from the film ‘National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation’ in which steam blows out of a bird that Chevy Chase’s character Clark Griswold is carving because it’s overcooked.”

Huffington Post

This video perfectly depicts a typical Thanksgiving dinner, in hell! Imagine sitting at the dinner table waiting to gorge on the succulent Turkey and all the delicious trimmings and as the patriarch of the family is carving the turkey a grinning Donald Trump burst out of the bird dancing to YMCA.

If such a scene unfolded in hell, I would immediately launch a rebellion against Satan, because I’ve never committed a sin that merits such sadistic torture.

If such a travesty occurred in heaven, I would beg the Almighty to cast me down to hell. I can tolerate a demon ramming hot coal up my bunghole, but I couldn’t survive a dancing orange orangutan bursting out of the Thanksgiving turkey.

Damn Donald Trump Jr. for ruining my Thanksgiving. Considering the movie’s scene centers on Christmas and not Thanksgiving, I hope Junior doesn’t ruin our Christmas but releasing the video again on Xmas.

I am certain God will smite me if I embed this satanic video on my page, instead I will provide this link:

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/donald-trump-jr-thanksgiving-meme-donald-trump-turkey_n_61a0d86fe4b044a1cc1422c8

Trump Pardons White House Turkeys ‘Bread’ and ‘Butter’

Hardly a day goes by that the buffoon-in-chief doesn’t break a presidential norm, so it was surprising that he continued the tradition of pardoning a Thanksgiving turkey.

Trump pardoned Butter and Bread, two beautiful turkeys who must eat a lot of butter and bread because they both weigh about 50 pounds. It was refreshing to witness the national embarrassment pardon two deserving birds instead of a convicted war criminal or a convicted racist sheriff.

But you can always count on the stable genius to screw things up, he ruined the heartwarming moment by making a lame impeachment joke. Trump quipped that Butter and Bread had been raised to remain calm under any condition, a trait he said will be very important because they’ve already received subpoenas to appear in Adam Schiff’s basement.

Whenever I write an article about the freaking moron I’m always compelled to fact-check or to explain his misleading comments. Schiff, the chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, held the depositions in the basement of the Capital Visitor Center because that’s where the secure room is located.

Trump claims that he isn’t worried about the impeachment hearings and that the “witch hunt” will actually help him get reelected. But this story illustrates just how much he’s worried about the impeachment proceedings.

The nation will have a lot to be thankful for if Trump is impeached by the House and removed from office by the Senate.

Robert Paul Reyes: My List of Unusual Thanksgiving Blessings

I`ve already posted a serious list of Thanksgiving blessings:

http://thesop.org/story/20181114/robert-paul-reyes-my-list-of-thanksgiving-blessings.html

 

This is my list of unusual Thanksgiving blessings.

DISABILITY PLACARD

Unlike most wankers who have a disabled license plate or placard I have a legitimate disability. I`m thankful for my disabled placard because it affords me the luxury of parking in front of the grocery store, movie theatre or restaurant like the biggest pimp in town.

BLUETOOTH TECHNOLOGY

I`m grateful for Bluetooth technology because when I talk to myself in public, as I am wont to do, folks just assume I`m using Bluetooth headphones.

GROCERY STORE SELF-CHECKOUT MACHINES

Thank God for these self-checkout stations, they allow me to avoid human interaction. I`m tired of cashiers looking at me askance when they scan my unhealthy items.

NETFLIX

I have access to thousands of films, and thanks to using my sister`s account it doesn`t cost me a dime.

CAT VIDEOS

Who doesn`t love cat videos? Fortunately, they are as ubiquitous as porn, and the purring of the kitties is nowhere near as annoying as the fake moaning of porn stars.

EMOTICONS

I`m a minimalist to the core and sending an angry smiley saves me a hell of a lot of keystrokes.

FUN SIZE CANDY BARS

I can pop a dozen of these in my mouth without feeling like a total pig.

Robert Paul Reyes: My List of Thanksgiving Blessings

The Thanksgiving season is once again upon us and it`s time to reflect on our blessings. Here`s a list of blessings:

I`M CANCER-FREE

It`s interesting how the older I get the more I`m grateful for things that I once took for granted, like good health. I was diagnosed with cancer March of this year and I underwent radiation treatment July and August and I am now cancer-free.

I`M SUCCESSFULLY MANAGING MY DIABETES

I was also diagnosed with diabetes this year, and I am managing this potentially deadly disease with medication and a healthy diet. It`s impossible to defeat diabetes if you`re overweight or obese, and I`m thankful that I`ve lost more than 30 pounds this year, and for the first time in my adult life I`m not overweight.

THESOP.ORG

I thank Judyth Piazza the CEO of theSop.org for allowing me to write for her Web site. Since 2008 I`ve posted thousands of essays and I`m grateful they`re carried by Google News.

MY PETS

Mandy my loyal pooch and Ebony and Tico my playful and mischievous cats are a constant source of joy and love.

MY LITTLE PINK HOUSE

When I read about the hundreds of homes that have burnt to the ground in the California fires, I thank God for my tiny mortgage-free dwelling.

MY FAMILY

I couldn`t have made it through this season of medical drama without the prayers and support of my sisters.

MY READERS

I appreciate all the positive feedback from my readers, I`m even grateful for the criticism, it serves to make me a better writer.

Robert Paul Reyes: What I’m Thankful for This Thanksgiving Day

Waking up this morning, not exactly with a spring in my step but without keeling over.

The furnace blasting heat inside my home while outside the leaves are tossed about by the frigid wind.

The pitter-patter of little feet as my cats conspire what deviltry to visit upon me.

My dog barking outside as she protects my home and annoys my neighbors.

My little pink house far from a mansion, but a comfortable home.

Family that I will soon join in celebration of Thanksgiving.

TheSop.Org an online soapbox that allows me to spread my opinions with my community and with the world.

This job that barely pays my bills, but provides me with an opportunity to write my essays such as this one.

Few possessions, but no bills.

Jolly Christmas songs playing on the radio, reminding me that this holiday tomfoolery has weeks to go.

The sweet promise that one morning I won`t wake up.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Robert Paul Reyes: What I’m Thankful for this Thanksgiving

turkey-roasted

Good Health

When I was a young man I could bench press almost 300 pounds, I jogged at least five miles every day, and I took my health for granted. But now that my medicine cabinet is full of prescription drugs, and my bones ache when I get up in the morning, I`m grateful that I`m still in relatively good health, and I cherish my daily walk with my pooch.

TheSop.Org

I`ve been writing for the Student Operated Press since 2008, and when the SOP was down for almost three weeks in November, I realized how much of a blessing it is to have a platform where I can share my editorials with an international audience. I`m very thankful for Judyth Piazza the editor and owner of this terrific Web site.

My Own Web Site

After posting articles online since 1998 for several Web sites, I finally have my own home on the Web:

https://robertpaulreyes.com/

My Pets

My cats Ebony and Tico and my dog Mandy compromise my nuclear family, they enrich and enliven my life in a multitude of ways.

My Sisters

My sisters Jackie, Mary and Linda are crazy, but I can always share what`s in my heart with them. We understand each other intimately, growing up together in a dysfunctional family has bonded us for the rest of our lives.

My Little Pink House

My tiny pink house will never be featured in “Better Homes and Gardens”, but it`s my version of the American Dream.

Freedom

I thank God I live in a country where I am free to say what I please, write whatever I want, and worship however I see fit.

Dear readers, what are you thankful for, I would love to hear from you.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Photo Credit: Wikipedia