Shock Video Proves Donald Trump’s Scalp is as Smooth and Bald as Baby’s Butt

“A video shows the president climbing the stairs to Air Force One last Friday when a sudden gust of wind catches his combover.

 

The blast lifted the strands of hair like a flap and revealed his bare scalp underneath for all to see.”

The New York Post

Donald Trump`s hair defies gravity, it offends our aesthetic sensibilities, and it`s an affront to the Almighty.

Volumes have been written about his coiffure, his supporters swear it`s his own hair kept together by hairspray and prayers, others claim it`s a toupee or implants, and a few think it`s an abandoned Robin`s nest.

Trump has declared on numerous occasions that it`s his own hair, but he`s a pathological liar, and we have to take everything he says with a grain of salt.

I personally favor the explanation that it`s a bird`s nest, but I don`t really care, the only thing I know is that whenever I see the buffoon on TV I`m overcome with a desire to buy a flamethrower on eBay and travel to Washington and burn the abomination.

Now there`s video proof that regardless what`s on the moron`s head, whether it`s how own follicles, an implant, or a wig, underneath it there`s a freaking bald scalp.

Now that we`ve solved the mystery of Trump`s hair, can anyone explain why his hands are so tiny, or why his mouth looks like his rectum?

Donald Trump Takes Hair-Growth Drug

“President Trump takes medication for three ailments, including a prostate-related drug to promote hair growth, Mr. Trump`s longtime physician, Dr. Harold N. Bornstein, said in a series of recent interviews.

The other drugs are antibiotics to control rosacea, a common skin problem, and a statin for elevated blood cholesterol and lipids.

Dr. Bornstein, who spoke by telephone in four interviews over the past month, also said that Mr. Trump takes a daily baby aspirin to reduce the risk of a heart attack. Over all, he pronounced Mr. Trump healthy and his medical care as exactly up to date.”

New York Times

Baby hair is a very thin, soft, white, downy hair found on the body of a newborn baby and on top of Donald Trump`s scalp. Trump would be well-advised to go the Chuck Schumer route and undergo hair plug surgery instead of taking a drug that promotes the growth of baby hair.

I was under the impression that Trump`s unusual orange-tinted complexion was the result of fake spray tan, but if he`s suffering from rosacea he deserves my sympathy instead of my ridicule.

As for why Trump takes baby aspirin, maybe it`s not to reduce the risk of a heart attack, it could be that Dr. Bornstein, 69, is as demented as his patient, and prescribes it only because he`s thrown off by Trump`s baby hands.

The bad news is that the good doctor pronounced Trump in excellent health, we can`t count on the Grim Reaper taking him to hell before his term is over.

Read More: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/01/us/politics/trump-prostate-drug-hair-harold-bornstein.html?_r=0

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