Pedophile-Lover Cardinal Bernard Law’s Funeral to be Held at St. Peter’s Basilica in Vatican City

White evangelicals are the most despised religious group in America, their demonization of gays for political expediency and their subjugation of women in the name of biblical orthodoxy is an affront to decent people of all faiths and no faith.

This year they sunk even lower in the cesspool of hypocrisy and religiosity in their embrace of the serial predator Donald Trump and the pedophile Judge Roy Moore.

The Roman Catholic Church is determined to prove that they love pedophiles as much as American white evangelicals.

The Catholic Church will be holding a full cardinals` funeral for Cardinal Bernard Law at St. Peter`s Basilica in Vatican City on Thursday.

Cardinal Law is the most infamous enabler and supporter of pedophile priests.

From Wikipedia:

He had knowledge of sexual abuse committed by dozens of Catholic priests within his archdiocese and had failed to remove them from the ministry. One priest alone was alleged to have raped or molested 130 children over decades, while Law and other local officials moved him among churches rather than going to the authorities.

Law doesn`t deserve a cardinal`s funeral in St. Peter`s Basilica in Vatican City, he deserves to be buried in a dunghill with a convicted pedophile presiding over his funeral.

Fuc* white evangelicals and Fuc* the Roman Catholic Church, they`ve made a mockery of the teachings of Jesus Christ.

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Nativity Scene Gone to the Dogs

“A woman has been overwhelmed by the response to her dog nativity scene after a photograph posted on Twitter was liked more than 83,000 times.

Jo Kingston, who runs a dog walking and grooming business in Mountsorrel, Leicestershire, said `it`s gone bonkers`.

BBC

A Nativity Scene fills Christians with a feeling of hope and promise that into this world of sin and sorrow a Savior is born.

Non-Christians may walk by a Nativity Scene and consider it just another symbol of the Holiday Season.

But nobody can look at this blessed pic of a Doggie Nativity Scene and not exclaim: IT`S A WONDERFUL WORLD!

Merry Christmas!

Pic of Dog Nativity Scene:

http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-leicestershire-42430724

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Nothing Says ‘Merry Christmas’ Like a Skinny Mariah, a Fat Blunt, a Purring Cat, and a Roaring Fire

Nothing says Christmas bliss like lighting up the Yuletide bong, sitting in front of a crackling fireplace, with your kitty cat purring on your lap.

If a gang of Grinch`s invading my home, and stole all my Earthly possessions, I wouldn`t mind as long as they didn`t grab my bong or my cat.

In fact, I would be chill even if the Zombie Apocalypse breaks out, as long as I`m warm inside my little pink house with my cats, and my pooch.

It`s Christmas time and everybody deserves to be blissed out, but if you don`t have a fireplace or a cat, don`t despair.

Lil BUB`s Extraordinarily Magical Yule Log video features the soothing sounds of Lil BUB purring in front of a fireplace.

Dude, you really don`t even need any weed to be filled with the Christmas spirt, there`s nothing like a feline purring to alter your consciousness.

Turn on your smart TV, click on the Lil BUB Christmas video, and dream about the 1990s era Mariah Carey sliding down the chimney and crooning: All I Want for Christmas is You!

Nothing says Merry Christmas like a skinny Mariah, a fat blunt, a purring cat, and a roaring fire.

Donald Trump Thinks He’s Going to be Exonerated Soon! What a Moron!

Donald Trump has on overriding obsession, and it`s not Little Rocket Man, his little penis or his ongoing battles with the media, FBI and the judicial system.

From the moment he begins tweeting at three o`clock in the morning until Chief of Staff John Kelly tucks him in at night all he thinks about is Special Counsel Robert Mueller`s Russia investigation.

Trump has no one but himself to blame for Mueller`s investigation, the die was cast when he fired FBI Director James Comey.

He may call it a witch hunt and a hoax, but it`s a legitimate and independent investigation that has already derailed his administration, and may ultimately lead to his impeachment and removal from office.

Trump is on a mission from God to discredit Mueller and his team of lawyers and FBI agents, but the more dirt he flings the more his nasty dwarf hands get dirty.

Trump is being abetted by Republican congressional leaders who are calling on Mueller to resign, but that will happen on the same day the president apologizes for being a fuc*ing moron.

But in recent days Trump has exhibited a Zen-like calmness, for some crazy reason he`s under the impression that the end of the investigation is nearing, and that he will soon be fully exonerated by Mueller.

When Trump realizes that the investigation has months if not years to run, and that the likely outcome is an indictment, and not exoneration he`s going to flip his freaking wig.

Prepare for an explosion of epic proportions.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

What’s Next for Omarosa?

“As Omarosa Manigault Newman exits her job in the White House, a bizarre video showing her less, er, stateswomanly side has emerged.

A pop-culture polymath sent Page Six a link to `Soul Sistahs,` an ultra-camp, hyper-kitsch, uber-low-budget 10-minute sci-fi short film.

While the plot is virtually incomprehensible, as far as we can tell it focuses on an intergalactic yenta in a housecoat who kidnaps Omarosa in an attempt to steal Donald Trump`s hair as part of a difficult-to-understand get-rich-quick scheme.

The mini-flick was made back in 2006 – two years after Omarosa shot to fame on Trump`s NBC show `The Apprentice.`”

Page Six

What does the future hold for Omarosa after her abrupt resignation/termination as the Director of Communications for the Office of Public Liaison for the Trump administration?

That`s a fancy title for somebody whose major role in the White House was providing a smidgen of diversity. Ostensibly she was a liaison to the black community, but African-Americans hated the Uncle Tom witch as was evidenced by their glee when she was fired. Bye Felicia, indeed!

Omarosa is an ordained minister, and she would fit right in the world of evangelical hucksterism, but that may be beneath her.

Omarosa could star in a reality TV show, but after starring in the ultimate reality series, the Trump Administration, I don`t think she`s going that route.

Omarosa looks like a drag queen, Omarosa even sounds like a drag queen moniker, and she could hit the gay club circuit as the ultimate drag queen, but there`s not enough money in that racket.

This short-form video made back in 2006 highlights Omarosa`s skill as a kitschy, campy starlet. You don`t have to be gay, well maybe a wee bit gay to enjoy this campy video. Just fire up your bong, and enjoy the tomfoolery!

Omarosa is Barbarella for the 21st century. With an infusion of cash and a multi-million marketing campaign, “Soul Sistah`s II” would be a smash hit.

Read More:

https://pagesix.com/2017/12/16/bizarre-film-of-omarosa-surfaces-amid-white-house-exit/?_ga=2.216444374.1784380232.1513431578-1780243009.1513431578

Ten Worst Things About Christmas

EGGNOG

An alcoholic beverage made with milk, egg yolks, rum or whiskey, and spices doesn`t sound particularly appetizing, and it`s not! Is it any wonder that nobody consumes this noxious brew any time other than Christmas?

CHRISTMAS OFFICE PARTIES

Most Christmas office parties are not held at the office, but after work at a bar or restaurant. I don`t relish the idea of spending my free time with my co-workers, in fact I`d rather give Oprah Winfrey a one-hour Brazilian wax than spend a minute with my colleagues during my free time. Is it any wonder that most people get absolutely toasted at office parties, that`s the only way they can survive the excruciating ordeal.

SECRET SANTA

Secret Santa is a Christmas tradition in which members of a group (usually employees who work in the same office) are randomly assigned a person to whom they give a gift. The identity of the gift giver is a secret not to be revealed.

I usually take some thought and consideration in buying a gift for the person I was assigned even if I`m not especially fond of that person. My Secret Santa invariably turns out to be a cheap bastard who buys me a tie or a damn pair of socks.

CHRISTMAS MOVIES

Christmas Movies are cheesy and saccharine productions tailor-made for Hallmark, Lifetime and Netflix. Out of the thousands of Christmas flicks, there are only four good ones: Diehard, Bad Santa, Bad Santa 2 and It`s a Wonderful Life.

CHRISTMAS SWEATERS

Nobody looks good in a Christmas sweater, even Salma Hayek wouldn`t look good if she was clad in a Christmas sweater and nothing else, no pants, no panties, no nothing! Some hipsters have an ironic appreciation for Christmas sweaters, but there`s too many losers who actually think they are hot shit when they wear a Christmas sweater to work.

CHRISTMAS CAROLLERS

These wankers perform in a public place (usually a shopping mall) or go from house to house singing Christmas carols. I`d rather have my peace and quiet interrupted by Jehovah`s Witnesses than by smiling bastards singing beloved Christmas carols off-key.

FAMILY CHRISTMAS DINNER

At Christmas family members who for excellent reasons (they despise each other) don`t get together any other time of the year sit down to enjoy a meal. There`s always the crazy uncle who spouts conspiracy theories, the incontinent grandma who poops in her diapers, the delinquent nephew who`s watching porn on his cellphone during the blessing, the nympho aunt who is hitting on her brother-in-law, and the crying baby that you are just dying to throw into the fireplace.

CHRISTMAS SHOPPING

Like any dude I hate shopping on a normal day, going Christmas shopping is a freaking nightmare. The only available parking is a mile from the store, stationed by the front door is a Salvation Army volunteer giving you a nasty look for not dropping a coin in his kettle, and the store is jam-packed with shoppers who are filled with anything but the Christmas spirit.

MALL SANTAS

Your mall Santa is either a wino, a pedophile or both, parents who let their innocent children sit on Santa`s lap should be reported to the authorities.

RADIO STATIONS THAT GO TO AN ALL CHRISTMAS MUSIC FORMAT DURING CHRISTMAS

I don`t mind hearing a Christmas standard or two during the holiday season, but why in the name of God does my favorite oldies station play Christmas music 24/7 starting as early as the day after Thanksgiving? If I hear Mariah Carey`s “All I Want for Christmas” one more time, I`m going to murder the fat whore.

Dang, is there anything good about Christmas?

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

RIP AIM

Today AIM was discontinued.

I bought my first computer in 1995, and I was such a newbie to the digital revolution that I enrolled in a Windows class in adult school.

Like almost everybody who connected to the Internet in the late 90`s I was an AOL subscriber, and I still hear the dial-up sound in my nightmares.

In those days I communicated with friends and colleagues via AOL Instant Messenger which originally was available only to AOL subscribers, of course that was an era when AOL was king of the world wide web. AOL was released as a stand-alone download in May 1997.

The AIM yellow running man was one of the most recognizable advertising icons of the 1990s. The little yellow running man was a perfect symbol for the slow dial-up Internet service, today`s broadband service would best be represented by a yellow blur.

I communicated with family living in other states, and made my first virtual friends on AIM. AIM is like your first lover, you only remember the good qualities.

Snapchat, WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger and cellphone SMS are light years ahead of AIM, but AIM will always have a special place in my heart.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Is a Cigar-shaped Asteroid Really a UFO?

“Are intelligent extraterrestrials trying to communicate with or study us? Some scientists think that`s a possibility-and that it`s happening right now. Starting at 3 p.m. EST on Wednesday, researchers with the Breakthrough Listen initiative began pointing a powerful radio telescope toward a mysterious object visiting the solar system, hopeful they could detect signs that the interstellar interloper is actually of alien origin.

The object in question is `Oumuamua, an asteroid from another star system currently zipping past Jupiter at about 196,000 miles per hour, too fast to be trapped by the sun`s gravitational pull. First discovered in mid-October by astronomers at the Pan-STARRS project at the University of Hawaii, the 800-meter-long, 80-meter-wide, cigar-shaped rock is, technically speaking, weird as hell-and that`s precisely why some scientists think it`s not a natural object.”

Slate

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but is a cigar-shaped asteroid really an extraterrestrial spacecraft?

I hope not, from an aesthetic perspective I prefer flying saucers to look well, like flying saucers.

Human beings are supposed to be awestruck at the technology and engineering skill of alien races that have mastered interstellar travel, I`m sorry but a UFO that looks like a giant penis doesn`t impress me at all.

But maybe this object is a galactic Trojan Horse, and humankind won`t realize it`s really a UFO until it lands in the Rose Garden and thousands of aliens invade the White House and impale Donald Trump with the mother of all anal probes.

Wouldn`t that be terrific?

Read More:

http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/science/2017/12/scientists_are_watching_oumuamua_an_asteroid_they_think_could_be_an_alien.html

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Rookie Airport Bomb-Sniffing Dog Pooping While on Duty

“Everyone makes mistakes early in their careers.

So the fact that a rookie bomb-sniffing dog has been pooping in the terminals and concourses at Midway International Airport is being dealt with delicately by her employer.

`It`s not going to ruin her career,` Kevin McCarthy, who heads up Transportation Security Administration operations at Midway, said earlier this week.

`It doesn`t impact her ability to do the job.`

The issue: the pooch, who`s just over two years old, has been getting a bit jittery in crowds.”

Chicago Sun Times

Putting up with an incontinent bomb-sniffing pooch is like a breath of fresh air compared to dealing with TSA Agents who think they`re proctologists.

There is no reason to act as if the shit has hit the fan, rookies are allowed to make mistakes.

I get jittery in large crowds also, although I haven`t crapped myself in frustration and nervousness, I have farted away my anxiety.

I don`t give a crap if a bomb-sniffing canine takes a crap while on duty, it`s a small price to pay for lessening the risk of getting blown to smithereens.

I`m glad the dog has an understanding trainer, there`s no reason to banish the poor creature to the doghouse.

Read More:

https://chicago.suntimes.com/chicago-politics/midway-bomb-sniffing-dog-has-pooping-problem/

 

 

Top Christmas Gifts For Your Cat

I love all the trappings of Christmas: The mistletoe hanging in the office, houses festooned with Christmas lights, carolers serenading commuters, and stockings hanging by the fireplace.

Not everyone has a fireplace, but everybody should hang Yuletide stockings somewhere for all the members of their family, including the four-legged ones.

My cats, Tico and Ebony, have frayed their stockings, they treat them like a scratching post.

Which brings us to the question: What toys should you get your felines for Christmas?

Any Toy That Encourages Your Kitty to be Active

Cats are the laziest creatures on Earth, if my pets find a warm spot, they won`t move until they need to eat or use the litter box. Buy them a cat tunnel or a mechanical mouse that will inspire them to get off their fat butts.

Any Toy That Has Catnip

Humans have their eggnog and a holiday bong, it`s only fair that we provide our kitties with catnip. Your neighborhood pet store has dozens of toys that have catnip stored in them that`s released slowly while your cats are playing.

A Super Deluxe Litter Box

Too many cat owners just buy the cheapest litter box they can find, and keep the damn thing until it falls apart. Is it any wonder that some cats make it a point to defecate OUTSIDE the litter box? At the minimum a litter box should have a lid. Would you feel comfortable taking a crap in a bathroom that doesn`t have a door?

Another Cat

Cats are independent, but that doesn`t mean they enjoy being alone for hours at a time while you are at work. A good idea would be to foster a cat from a shelter, and if it gets along with your furball, adopt it.

Food

You can`t go wrong if you fill your cat`s stocking with his favorite gourmet treats.

If you don`t have a cat, adopt one from your local animal shelter as a Christmas gift to yourself.

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