Life on Earth Will be Paradise After Evangelicals Disappear in the Rapture

Evangelicals believe in the Rapture of believers, where born-again Christians around the world will taken up to the clouds to meet Jesus prior to the unleashing of apocalyptic events that will make the biblical flood look like a relaxing session in a Jacuzzi.

Even secular Americans are familiar with images that depict the Rapture like empty pile of clothes in cars and planes whose drivers and passengers have suddenly disappeared. They may not know the meaning of the deity of Christ or be familiar with the doctrine of salvation by faith, but they’ve heard about the Rapture.

The word “rapture” doesn’t appear in the King James translation of the Bible, and until relatively recent times most Christians didn’t believe in a literal and physical Rapture of the Church.

Modern day evangelicals have a Holy Ghost orgasm every time war breaks out, an earthquake kills thousands or a pandemic devastates a population, because they believe these are the signs of the end times that were prophesized to take place before the return of Jesus.

They don’t have any sympathy for the suffering of unbelievers, and they consider anyone who isn’t an evangelical an unbeliever, including not only Muslims and Jews but Catholics and mainline Protestants.

If evangelicals believe in crappy science fiction nonsense like the Rapture, we shouldn’t be surprised they believe in crazy conspiracy theories like the Big Lie or that the world is controlled by a cabal of Satan worshipping pedophiles.

Evangelicals believe that after they’re raptured life on Earth will be hell. But the fact is that life would be paradise without the homophobic, misogynist, vengeful, hateful and intolerant a-holes. The horrors of the Tribulation would be a small price to pay for getting rid of evangelicals.