lock him up

What Community Service Would be Best for Trump?

Former president Donald Trump was found guilty by a jury of 34 counts of falsifying business records for concealing hush money paid to adult film star Stormy Daniels before the 2016 presidential election.

The twice-impeached former president has a long history of evading taxes, failing to pay contractors, lying on financial statements to secure loans and sexually assaulting women, but this is his first criminal conviction.

Even though the real estate tycoon faces a possible maximum sentence of four years imprisonment for each of the 34 counts against him, it’s highly unlikely he will spend a day behind bars.

Given that this is his first criminal conviction and that he was found guilty of low-level non-violent felonies he is more likely to receive probation or community service. What type of court-ordered community service should the convict be ordered to perform?

Work at an Animal Shelter

Everything that Trump touches turns to shit, and he is responsible for polluting social media with tons of bullshit, therefore it is only right that he cleans up shit for a change.

Build a House for Habitat for Humanity

Trump is a builder and real estate developer who’s built luxurious condos and resorts for the wealthy and powerful, it’s only right that he helps build a modest home for a poor family for a change. It would be refreshing to see him channel Jimmy Carter instead of Richard Nixon, for a change.

Work as an Assistant for an Immigrant Landscaper

Trump demonizes undocumented workers as rapists, thieves and murderers, it’s only right that he work side-by-side with an immigrant so he can learn first-hand how hard-working, industrious and entrepreneurial most of them are.

Work as a Caregiver for Joe Biden

Even though Trump suffers from his own cognitive issues he constantly makes fun of Biden’s dementia. It’s only right that he be sentenced to change Bidens diapers, clean his dentures, and sing him bedtime stories.

If Trump is found guilty in his other pending criminal cases he will most likely be sentenced to prison, but in the meantime what community service do you think he deserves?

Trump Showered With Boos at Game 5 of World Series, Fans Chant ‘Lock Him Up’

For over a century every president has thrown out a ceremonial first pitch during their time in office, either for Opening Day, the All-Star Game or the World Series. Watching the president throwing out the first pitch is as American as apple pie or baseball, but leave it to Trump to disregard precedent and tradition.

Trump notified Major League Baseball (MLB) that he wasn’t going to throw out the ceremonial first pitch or make other public appearance, ostensibly because he didn’t want to be a distraction. The real reason may be that he didn’t want to expose himself to ridicule and humiliation.

Another reason why Trump may have refused to throw out the ceremonial first pitch is that his tiny hand has trouble handling a baseball. Pick up a golf ball no problem, throw a baseball and look like an uncoordinated fool, no way.

Trump may have tried to keep a low profile to spare himself from the crowd’s wrath, but he was greeted with a thunderous chorus of boos when he was introduced after the third inning during the Nationals’ salute to veterans. As the next inning began, fans shouted “lock him up”, illustrative of the fact that Trump wasn’t in Kansas anymore or at a Trump rally where the chant “lock her up” is ubiquitous, but in the nation’s capital where citizens are cognizant that he’s the real villain.

Trump and wife Melania sat in the Washington Suite and were joined by sycophants the likes of Lindsey Graham, Matt Gaetz and Mark Meadows. I’m sure these weasels tried to comfort the stable genius by telling him that MLB and the Nationals were part of a conspiracy to allow only Democrats into the game in order to embarrass him.

I hope this will be the last appearance that Trump makes in the World Series, baseball is supposed to be a temporary respite from real life, and the president screws up everything he takes a part in.