Outrage! Oklahoma City Cop Prevents Chicken from Crossing the Road!

“A surprised Oklahoma City police officer captured video of a `small town problem in the big city`– a loose chicken crossing a road.

The Oklahoma City Police Department posted a video to Facebook showing Officer Cook dealing with the unusual pedestrian found crossing a city street.

“You know, just `cause we`re in the big city don`t mean we don`t have small town problems,” Cook says in the video.

The post said Cook captured the chicken to keep it safe from traffic.”

UPI

The Oklahoma City police officer characterized a chicken crossing a road as a “small town problem in the big city.” He also opined “just cause we`re in the big city don`t mean we don`t have small town problems.”

Where to begin … First of all, Oklahoma City with a population of around half a million hardly qualifies as a “big city.” But even if Oklahoma City had a population of five million, they`re still a bunch of Okies with no conception of what it means to live in a large metropolitan area.

Officer Cook`s penchant for employing double negatives ensures that he will be a small town cop even he becomes a police officer in New York City.

We`ve all pondered the metaphysical question, “Why did the chicken cross the road?,” but very few of us have actually witnessed a chicken crossing a road.

How dare Officer Cook grab the chicken, and prevent it from crossing the road. Officer Cook is an affront to Oklahoma City, law enforcement, and indeed to all of humanity.

Cook traumatized the commuters and pedestrians who witnessed his unspeakable actions, may the good Lord have mercy on his soul.

Link to video:

https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2018/05/01/Oklahoma-City-police-officer-rescues-road-crossing-chicken/2201525200946/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=2

Watch Vest-Wearing Chickens Cross Road Safely

“A bed and breakfast in Scotland fitted a group of chickens with high-visibility vests to help them cross a local road.

Glenshieling House shared video Friday of a pair of chickens wearing the bright pink vests as they strolled across the rainy street.

Louise Lennox, owner of the Perthsire bed and breakfast, told STV she has 14 hens and a few have a tendency to wander off the property.

Lennox hopes the vests will help drivers spot the chickens and encourage them to slow down.”

UPI

The existential question “why did the chicken cross the road?” will forever remain a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma, but the owner of a bed and breakfast has outfitted her chickens with bright pink vests so that they will survive the perilous crossing of the road by her property.

Louise Lennox, owner of the Perthsire bed and breakfast, printed the phrase “Glenshieling House Girl” on the vests to advertise her business. Methinks she cares more about advertising her business than she does about the welfare of her chickens.

What say you? Is Lennox an animal rights hero or is she an animal abuser who put on vests on her chickens that hinders their ability to fly and keeps them unbearably hot on summer days?

Link to video:

https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/08/18/Bed-and-breakfast-helps-chickens-cross-street-with-high-visibility-vests/1201503080529/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=2

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Cocky Criminals Caught Trying to Carry Off Cops’ Cocks

“A couple of bird brains broke into barn housing chickens confiscated in a massive raid on upstate cockfighting ring this week and tried to bust the roosters out of the joint – only to find themselves behind bars.

A couple of bird brains broke into barn housing chickens confiscated in a massive raid on upstate cockfighting ring this week and tried to bust the roosters out of the joint – only to find themselves behind bars.”

New York Post

I readily admit that a lot of the weird stories that I cover are chickensh*t, but this tale is pregnant with literary concepts like irony and poetic justice. I may submit this essay for consideration for a Nobel Prize for Literature.

Two bird brain wankers break into a police barn housing roosters confiscated in a raid on a cockfighting ring, only to end up in the hoosegow. This couple didn`t steal the 50 chickens to feed their family, they stole the birds for use in the bloody “sport” of cockfighting.

These morons ended up with eggs on their faces, and I hope and pray that there will be at least a couple of PETA members in prison who will ensure that the male member of this couple will be fighting off cocks during his entire stint behind bars.

Read More:

http://nypost.com/2017/06/22/morons-busted-trying-to-steal-cops-cocks/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Grandmothers Knit Sweaters for Chickens

“Residents of a Massachusetts retirement home knitted sweaters for the chilly chickens living on a nearby estate — and their owners say egg production is up.”

UPI

You`re a young child and you rip open grandma`s large Christmas package with eagerness and anticipation only to discover a sweater that she lovingly knitted for you.

For the rest of your life you dream about suffocating the old hag with her sweater or poking out her eyes with a knitting needle, rendering her incapable of knitting any more sweaters.

For eons grandmothers have been knitting sweaters for their loved ones, and for eons we`ve been ignoring those sweaters, wearing them only when she comes to visit.

Let`s pray and hope that this grandmas knitting sweaters for chickens thing catches on, and henceforth they will only knit sweaters for critters that appreciate their handiwork.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Photo Credit: Wikipedia