“US Vice President Mike Pence, whose press secretary tested positive for coronavirus, has decided to ‘keep his distance’ from President Donald Trump for a few days, the White House said Tuesday.

Katie Miller, Pence’s press secretary, tested positive for the virus last week along with a personal valet to Trump.”

AFP

The coronavirus stay-at-home orders are a difficult adjustment for most Americans, we miss our work colleagues, friends and vulnerable elderly relatives.

But imagine how difficult it is for Vice President Mike Pence who has decided to keep his distance from President Donald Trump for a few days. Pence’s mouth is permanently affixed to Trump’s fat butt and it will require the skills of a plumber to pull them apart.

Whenever Trump delivers a speech Pence is always right behind smiling beatifically at him. Pence will suffer severe separation anxiety and will require psychiatric therapy. Maybe the sycophant can foster an orangutan with a red bottom to serve as a surrogate until he can resume his default position kissing Trump’s ass.

At least America’s most famous yes man still has Mother, he can chastely and platonically kiss her until he is reunited with his Rubenesque lover.