Porn star Stormy Daniels took the witness stand on Tuesday at Donald Trump’s hush-money criminal trial and described in lurid detail her 2006 one-night-stand with the disgraced former president.

For the first time in over a decade the adult film actor, who exuded confidence and honesty, met face-to-face with the pathological liar who is seeking one again to become president in spite of the 91 indictments hanging over his head.

I read the transcript of Daniel’s testimony, and I won’t subject you to a retelling of this sordid sexual encounter; I don’t want to be liable for your therapy bills.

I will focus only on the episode when the narcissist Trump showed her a magazine featuring himself on the cover, leading Stormy to remark: “Someone should spank you with that.” Per the porn star, “He gave me the look that dared me to do it, so I swatted him with it right on the butt.”

Sometimes porn actors are forced to perform humiliating and degrading acts, but even perverse acts like bestiality are not as soul-killing as spanking an incontinent old man who is susceptible to out-of-control farting.

if you spank Trump at best, it will provoke a fart and at worst the smack might unleash a torrent of diarrhea. I have nothing but respect and sympathy for Stormy for having survived her tryst with the deviant with a mushroom-shaped puny pecker and the big old farting butt.