When a septuagenarian wants to make himself look spiffy for an important function, like attending his great-granddaughter’s wedding, he might buy new suspenders or change to a more discreet-looking pair of adult diapers.

But the stark reality is that when your most important meeting in the near future may be with the Grim Reaper, there’s not really much you can do to enhance your appearance.

Pray tell, what kind of a make-over can you get when you’re freaking 76-years-old and running for president, not of the Bingo club at your nursing home, but of the United States?

Well, if you’re Joe Biden, you go the cosmetic surgery route, like it’s going out of style. Biden has Botox, hair plugs, veneers and cosmetic surgery up the wazoo. No wonder it took him forever and a day to announce his candidacy, it takes time to make a septuagenarian, soon to be an octogenarian, look halfway presentable.

Biden was almost completely bald in his 20’s and he had hair plugs surgery in the 80’s when it was a new surgery procedure, and he looked like he had hair from his butt implanted into his scalp. Recently he filled in his frontal hairline to camouflage the god-awful 80 hair transplant, and now he looks less like Frankenstein and more like just a silly old man who is to vain to age gracefully.

Biden underwent a severe face lift that makes him look at best like a Cheshire Cat when he grins and at worst like a clown who just escaped from the pit of hell. Can you imagine the terror of an underage girl when Biden, sporting his rictus grin, approaches to give her an inappropriate hug?

Hillary Clinton was endlessly scrutinized for her appearance during the 2016 presidential election, so Biden should man up and put his big boy adult diapers on, and weather the ridicule of his appearance.