break the internet

Bizarre UK Police Sketch Breaks the Internet

“A British police department`s computer-generated sketch of a suspect is going viral thanks to the face`s unrealistic proportions.

Warwickshire Police tweeted a sketch of a man believed to have been involved in a distraction burglary in Stratford, England, in February.

The department said the sketch was based on the victim`s description, but commenters on Twitter suggested the sketch`s unusually large mouth and teeth made it more closely resemble a Snapchat filter than a real person`s face.”

UPI

After distracting the homeowner, burglars broke into her home and stole an undisclosed amount of money.

I can only assume that all the burglar with the huge mouth had to do was smile to distract the hapless homeowner, while his partner-in-crime snuck inside.

The computer-generated sketch was based on the description of the victim. Perhaps this woman has a fetish for men with a huge mouth, and all she could tell the cops was that the burglar`s mouth was a mile wide.

I can`t say I blame the befuddled woman, if a burglar with big boobs conned her way into my home, I would tell the police sketch artist: Dude her face was a blank, all I can remember is her incredible rack.

Needless to say this burglar will never be caught based on the police computer-generated sketch.

Pic of sketch:

https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2018/04/04/Police-departments-big-mouthed-suspect-sketch-goes-viral/1451522852189/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=7

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Two White Women Break the Internet by Eating Mayo out of a Jar

“Concessions at professional sports games can get pricey, so it`s not surprising when fans choose to smuggle in their own snacks.

What was surprising was the snack two Kings fans chose during Monday night`s game: straight-up mayonnaise, apparently.

Captured on TV broadcast as the Kings hosted the Detroit Pistons, two women appear jovial as they take turns eating spoonfuls of what appears to be mayo. The condiment crusader proudly displays the jar, label out, for the camera to see. Then, she offers the jar to her Kings-hat-wearing companion, who tries the stuff with no hesitation, shrugs and then appears to say, `It`s OK.`”

Sacramento Bee

Hot sauce is my favorite condiment, I pour it over my eggs, sandwiches, soups, and just about everything else, and maybe I shouldn`t poke fun at white people`s love of mayo. But ridicule is the coin of the realm online, so here`s my two cents worth:

Mayo is the condiment of choice of white people, they gross out civilized people by ruining perfectly good sandwiches by slathering the semen-like substance all over them.

Mayo is a condiment, it was never intended to be a snack or a meal, but two white women ruined everyone`s appetite by taking turns eating spoonfuls of the nasty stuff out of a jar.

The sadist operating the Jumbotron should be summarily fired, the fans who were there on that fateful night will need therapy for the rest of their lives.

Black folks would never defile a sandwich by smearing it with mayo, and the NBA is about 85% black – weren`t these two white devils aware they were in an NBA arena?

Some folks are trying to justify this abomination by speculating that perhaps it was pudding or ice cream in the mayo jar. I don`t care if the mayo jar was full of delicious ice cream, the sight of anyone eating mayo out of a jar will cause any civilized individual to retch.

The NBA needs to take immediate action and ban these two wicked women, for the rest of their miserable lives, from all NBA arenas.

Link to video: http://www.sacbee.com/sports/nba/sacramento-kings/article206068174.html#storylink=cpy

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes